Chapter Text
Sonia Nevermind was utter perfection. It was like she was ripped straight out of a fairytale, one of those ones where everyone looked way better and shinier than real people, except that she was real. She was pretty and delicate. Her eyes were soft and bright. Her hair was long and never tangled. Her skirt twirled with her movements, always eager to follow her. She had a way with words that charmed everyone around her. No one in the class hated her—how could they? She got along with everyone. Everyone except Kazuichi. His eye twitched.
“Ibuki’s gonna have an awesome show tonight! You all have to come! Pleaaaase!” Ibuki pleaded.
He blinked, trying to shift his focus to Ibuki. It would be nice to pretend that people weren’t dying, and who would turn down a concert from the ultimate musician? After being the one to discover Mahiru’s body, he hadn’t been able to stop feeling jittery. He just needed to keep himself distracted.
“Oh, that sounds wonderful!” Sonia said, clapping her hands together. Her eyes shone like metal in the sun— No, she was the sun itself, blindingly bright. Even without looking directly at her one could sense her sparkling. There was no way he wouldn’t be going, especially if Sonia was gonna be there.
“I seriously can’t wait!” Kazuichi added. Others expressed similar sentiments as the excitement spread throughout the room. The intense despair that had been hanging around them felt a little less heavy.
Sonia turned, focusing her attention to the person beside her.
“Gundham, you’ll be going, won’t you?”
“Hm?” He hummed, caught off guard. She looked at him with her shiniest eyes. He reached for his scarf to shield himself, eyes averted. “I shall be in attendance.”
Kazuichi glared at the pair. People went their own ways, splitting off into distinct groups. Chatter moved around him, quieting down. Kazuichi kept watching them. What an unsightly duo they made: the fairytale princess and the dark overlord. He hated seeing them together. Gundham turned his head, his eyes already squinted in annoyance, and caught the look he was throwing. Kazuichi stuck his tongue out at him, hoping it’d get his point across. Gundham’s face twisted as he interpreted the move, his mouth curving into a smirk. He went to make a dramatic gesture in response, but his rhythm was thrown off as Sonia grabbed his arm and excitedly said something to him. He hissed, shaking her off, rambling warnings at her while his face turned red. As though distracting him from a pest, she kept his full attention away from him. It wasn’t fair at all. She shouldn’t be hanging out with him. An ugly feeling scratched inside of him. He wanted to tear them apart.
“Soda-pop! Pop, pop, pop!” Ibuki chirped, poking him repeatedly.
“Uh.. Yeah? What’s up?”
“Woooooow! You ignored Ibuki for at least thirty seconds!” She pouted and lightly punched him. He flinched in response, the afterimage of the pair still stuck on his eyes. He shook his head, hoping it would cause them to fall away like sand. Ibuki’s pout vanished as soon as it had appeared. She perked back up, eager to continue. “It’s okaaaay, Ibuki forgives, but in return, you have to help.” She tapped the tips of her fingers together. “Can you make the speakers louder for me?”
“For your concert?” He saw Sonia cover her mouth. Why were they always hanging out?
“Right on!” Ibuki nodded eagerly. He heard Gundham laugh. It couldn’t have been that funny.
“Yeah, I can definitely do that for you.” Sonia swayed closer to him. Why couldn’t she stay away?
“Yay! Cmon, let’s go set up!”
She grabbed his hand, pulling him out of the restaurant. Only once outside did he find himself falling back into his senses. The sun was as blinding as ever—he blinked aggressively at the assault on his eyes. His hand was warm. Was a girl seriously holding his hand? His face burned with embarrassment. He shook his hand free.
“Hey, w-what if people get the wrong idea! I can walk, you know,” he grumbled.
“Aww, you don’t like Ibuki?” She said sadly. They stopped at his cottage and he quickly ran inside and grabbed a toolkit. Kazuichi did like Ibuki, but it didn’t feel romantic. She had a way of lifting people’s spirits. No matter what went on around her, she always wore a smile. Her attitude balanced out his own anxiety. He felt at ease around her, the same way he did around Hajime. He wasn’t sure that a girl and a guy could be just friends though. Hanging out with Ibuki felt a bit scandalous, but he wasn’t really hanging out with her, was he? He was just helping her with something, so it didn’t count. Sonia and Gundham actually hung out, which really meant they could be doing anything with each other. The idea left a searing mark through him.
“There’s only room in my life for one girl,” he replied, crossing his arms.
“Well, Ibuki has room for many girls.” She mirrored him, crossing her arms as well.
“Yeah, right!” He pushed her playfully as they walked. Even if they weren’t actually hanging out, he had to admit he was having fun. “I don’t see any.”
“You will.. tonight!” She grinned wide. “All the girls will be at Ibuki’s show.. Even your Sonia! Haha!”
“Well, she’ll be hearing music from my speakers!”
“Touché, touché.. We’ll have to share.”
“No way!”
“Oh, oh! What if you take Gundham? Then Ibuki can have Sonia?”
“Definitely not! What!?” He clenched his jaw.
“Hmm.. Ibuki thinks it’s your best option. Plus, I can totally feel the tension!” She tapped her fingers together as though she was plotting an evil scheme. He grimaced.
“D-don’t say something so concerning!”
They walked inside the venue, and Ibuki let out an excited squeal. She abandoned him and ran for the stage, hopping on top of it. She twirled around on it, fully pulled into her own world. She looked right at home.
“The speakers are there and there!” She pointed to them, a brief pause to her movements. He gave her a thumbs up, and she went back to dancing around the stage.
Kazuichi was happy to have his hands on something metallic. It wasn’t an engine, sadly, but at least it was something functional. So much of the other machinery on this island was missing pieces, it was driving him crazy. When this island had opened up, he’d been so excited to dig through all the devices in electric avenue. He had been heartbroken at how much of it ended up being junk. These speakers actually worked, and they weren’t missing any pieces! It was a huge relief. He wasn’t as confident with stationary machines, but the speakers only needed to be amplified, which was a request he was confident he could fulfill.
Ibuki was doing her own frantic work alongside him. She would sing verses he hadn’t heard before, which would cause her to get excited by ‘this venue’s bangin’ acoustics!’ Occasionally, he would have her test out the speakers, but she shook her head every time, wanting them to be even louder. He wondered what her setlist looked like to need such a loud volume. The venue was small, and the sound travelled well. He would’ve taken her to be a rockstar, but maybe she was going to play some softer tunes? Although, every time she practiced, it sounded like a different song, so he couldn’t discern what her style was at all.
She left for a while at one point, and he worried she’d be gone until the concert started, but she eventually returned with Hiyoko. Kazuichi decided to stay quiet and focus on his speakers. He felt bad for calling her memorial creepy the other day, but, in his defense, it was super creepy. The two girls chatted and moved around the stage. He was too absorbed (and frightened) to know what they had been up to. Hiyoko left at some point, and, finally, Ibuki approved of the speakers.
“This is totally awesome! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She cheered.
“It only took all day,” he sighed.
“Tsk.. Soda pop!” She hopped off the stage, looming over him. She held her hands behind her back. “I’ve been thinking about your Sonia problems, and I know how to help.”
“Huh? You do!?” He blinked up at her.
She nodded. “Yeeeep! Ibuki saw her earlier, and guess what?”
“..What?”
“Sonia looooves these!” She revealed a handful of glow sticks, still sealed. “Sooo, Ibuki bought them all, so you can give them to her! She’ll definitely swoon for you if you do!”
His breath hitched. He was shocked she had done something so.. considerate. Not that he took her to be rude, but when it came to Sonia, nobody actually indulged him or took him seriously. Sonia herself had expressed her distaste for him on many occasions. He couldn’t stop himself from trying to win her over—something he needed to do more than something he actually wanted to do. His hands felt sweaty as he took the glow sticks from her.
“Woah! Can I seriously have these? Heh.. Thanks, Ibuki.”
He looked down. Sonia had everything she wanted. He finally had something she didn’t—he could really impress her with these. She might actually thank him. She might even want to hang out with him; she wouldn’t hang out with Gundham at all anymore.. Then, Gundham would be the one begging for his attention. And, maybe, he’d hang out with him, out of pity, obviously, but he wouldn’t let him near Sonia again.
..Sonia. Right.
“Hmm? What’s with that face?” She hummed. “Are you feeling sick?”
“Nah. I’m just a little nervous, I guess?” Talking to Sonia was.. difficult.
“If you reaaaaally want, you can always join Ibuki’s band. You can have your debut tonight! Girls loooove guys in bands!”
“Tonight!? B-But I can’t play!”
“You can pretend.. It’s easy-peasy!”
“No way! I’ll just stick with the glow sticks.”
“Boooo! Laaaame!” She was the one who came up with that plan!? “Oh! What if you pretend I’m Sonia? Will that help?”
“Maybe?” He didn’t really want to talk to her at all.
Hearing affirmation, Ibuki grinned, and assumed a more Sonia-like pose. She clasped her hands in front of her, making her posture more rigid. She let out an airy sigh, mumbling a high pitched ‘it’s so hard being a princess.’ Her face was drawn in intense concentration as she focused on her self-appointed role. He laughed—this look didn’t fit Ibuki at all. Was this really how she saw her?
“Hey, you wouldn’t laugh at the real Sonia! You have to focus!”
“Sorry, sorry,” he replied, still choking on laughter. “You just look so ridiculous! Haha! And, pfft, what was that voice?”
Shaking her head in disappointment, she snatched one of the glow stick packs and hit him on the head with it.
“How can you say such a thing! I’ll have you beheaded for that,” she scolded in her strange high-pitched imitation. His sides hurt from laughing. This is what people thought he liked? He tried to stop, but each time he did it only made it worse.
“There’s no way I can pretend, sorry!” He wiped tears from the corners of his eyes, trying to get the image of Ibuki acting all proper out of his head. He took a deep breath, bringing his breathing back to normal. He was sitting on the floor, having hunched over in a heap from his fit of laughter. Ibuki was sitting on the edge of the stage now, her acting long abandoned.
“I’ll have to do it without the practice,” he said.
“Ibuki will be cheering you on! Just be yourself. Or don’t.” She shrugged. “You’ve got this!”
He dragged his feet as he walked, staring at the glow sticks in his hands. Sonia got everything she wanted in the end, didn’t she? He needed to find her before the concert. No matter what Ibuki ended up playing, the speakers would make it hard to have a conversation. There was still a bit of time, but he had spent most of the day in the venue. He wondered what Sonia would say to him. She was never very positive about anything he did, even when it was something helpful. If he mentioned Ibuki had helped, she would definitely thank her rather than him.. But if he didn’t mention her, would she get creeped out? Would she know? But, she might not like Ibuki if she knew she had been helping him, and he didn’t want to throw her under the bus, so it’d probably be better not to mention her. He sighed, shoving the glow sticks into his pocket.
Girls spent a lot of time getting ready, right? He hoped that was true. He knocked on Sonia’s door, awkwardly shifting from side to side. There was a long pause, but then the door swung open wide. She smiled and shone. Her hair was up in a different style. When her eyes met Kazuichi's, they dulled. She pulled the door closer, retracting her warmth.
“Hey miss Sonia! You look nice.” He fidgeted, hoping she wouldn’t close the door on him.
“Oh… Did you need something?” She gripped the doorknob.
“Well.. Actually..” He couldn’t meet her eyes. “You’re still going to the concert tonight, right?” What kinda question was that!?
“I am,” she said.
“Cool! I got these for you, I thought you might like them,” his face burned with embarrassment as he pulled the glow sticks out. He held them out to her.
“..You really got these for me?” Her voice softened, just a notch. An unexpected change. This is what he had wanted, this was good. “Thank you, Kazuichi.”
Praise, actual recognition. His heart sped up. The world grew brighter, in spite of the night. As though reflecting her essence, everything was shiny and sparkly. Their rough start suddenly didn’t matter, as a new possibility bloomed before the both of them.
At least, that’s what he would have expected. That’s what he had been desperately searching for. He met her gaze, blinding as ever. She was smiling, just a little, but still a smile. It was a look that she never directed at him. She took the glow sticks, and their hands brushed slightly. He felt nothing. Not excited, not nervous, not happy. One thought struck him over and over: I hate this.
“..Don’t worry about it! I mean, you are a princess, so you shouldn’t have to worry about anything.”
She winced. “Right. Farewell.” She closed her door. His head hurt.
He turned and headed to his own cottage. He figured he might as well try to look nicer too. Pulling his key out, he realized he had forgotten one of the glow stick packs in his pocket. Oh well.
His closet had nothing but coveralls, so there wasn’t much he could do in terms of his outfit. He grabbed his guyliner, not eyeliner, he wasn’t a girl, and he added some interesting-looking lines to his current look. Yeah, that was cool. He toyed with the idea of putting his hair in a ponytail. He felt too exposed with all of it up—he only did that when he was working and was sure he was alone. He settled on putting it in a half-up pony. He shoved his beanie in his pocket, knowing he’d probably want to retreat into it later.
He stared blankly at his reflection. If Sonia hung out with him, would that make him happy? Obviously, was the answer, but he thought that getting praised would make him happy too, and it hadn’t. It didn’t matter, it wouldn’t stop her from liking Gundham. Kazuichi was always pushing things down, but his mind felt more scattered than usual. His hands shook slightly. He couldn’t figure out what he was feeling, or what he wanted. It felt like running into a brick wall repeatedly. Thoughts of Sonia left him frustrated. He liked her, surely, because she was perfect. She was so perfect that it was annoying. He couldn’t believe nobody else was bothered by it. Seriously. It was so obvious she was looking down her nose at him. She made him feel so stupid. She clearly thought she was above everyone else. And somehow she had everyone wrapped around her finger. Even Gundham fucking Tanaka. She must hang out with him just to piss Kazuichi off.
What even made her so much better than him?