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My eyes flew open, it was a bad dream again… well, it wasn’t quite bad.
I saw my mom and I, dancing in our living room, singing muffled songs and hugging each other. None of it was bad, it was sweet, but it hurts that I took that away, maybe if I waited a little, just two minutes, I wouldn’t be here, thinking about the million ways it could be better. I would be next to my mom, and I could see my hands and I wouldn’t see blood.
I gave up, I stood up, grabbed some slippers, and I went outside to the pool, I let my shoes fall off my feet as I approached the edge, and I sat down, my legs numbing from the coldness of the water.
I stayed there, looking at the trees, letting the wind tangle my hair. And then I heard footsteps beside me.
“Cassie” Dean said suddenly, scaring me lightly. “Hi” I responded, simply, as if saying more would ruin the moment.
Dean sat down next to me, wrapping one arm around my back, running his fingertips slowly against my arm. “You can’t sleep.” He said, it wasn’t a question. He knew not because he was a profiler, but because he knew me. “It was just a bad dream.” I said, but I knew I needed a distraction, I could talk to him about it, of course I could, but I won’t do any better, I needed to get out of my head for a while.
“Wanna go for a walk.” Dean said, as if he could read my mind, I mean, he actually can. “In pajamas?” I asked, I didn’t mind anyways, no one would be around this late. “Why not?” He continued, “Let me just go for some shoes.” “I can go with you.” I said, standing up beside him.
We entered his room, I saw a couple of dumbbells sorted on the floor, he probably couldn’t sleep too, he saw me by the window, and he went out to look after me.
He was wearing grey pajama pants and a black t-shirt, his hair was messy, as a result from the constant rub of his head against the pillows when he was trying to sleep, by the sweat dripping off his face while working out.
I sat on his bed while he was looking for slippers to wear, he looked at me, and then he grabbed a sweatshirt from his closet, throwing it gently towards me. “Put this on, you’re freezing.” I nodded. “Thank you” I said as I stood up and put the sweatshirt over me.
Before stepping out of his room, he pressed his body against mine, holding me with a warm hug “I love you, Cass.” He said, almost like a whisper. “I love you too.” I replied. We pulled away, and I looked at his lips, he looked at mine, and he inched towards me, pressing our lips together, them crashing like waves.
The kiss intensified, I wrapped my hands around his neck, then I tangled my fingers in his hair. He grabbed me by the waist, dipping his hands in his sweatshirt, now on me. I parted my lips, letting his tongue lightly caress the inside of my mouth, as we closed our mouths again, I captured his bottom lip with my teeth, earning a low groan from his throat. He started kissing my jaw, then when he pulled away for a moment of air…
“Where were we going?” I asked, interrupting the moment. He smiled, and the dimple of his left cheek was now visible. “Yeah, sure, let’s go.” Dean replied.
We left the house carefully, making sure to not wake up anybody. We stood on the street, and we began walking, hand by hand.
“I assume you don’t want to talk about it.” Dean said, reading my mind again. “I don’t know.” I responded. “I feel that it will just make things worse, I’m fine for now” “Okay.” He said simply.
As we walked through the street, we passed by an ice cream shop, Dean thought it was a good idea to get some. We decided to eat it outside, laying on the grass of a nearby park.
“It was about my mother.” I began after some minutes of silence. He looked at me deeply. “But it wasn’t sad, weird, because now I feel horrible” I continued. “You miss her.” Dean said. “You wish you did something different, so you could be here, with her.” He was an expert at profiling, or he just knew me very well, maybe both. “It’s okay now, I’m okay.” I told him. Dean grabbed my hand, and kissed my knuckles softly. “I’m here, always.” He said, I nestled against his neck, laying back down in the grass.
We stayed there for a few more minutes. “We should head back” Dean said. “Sterling is gonna freak out” I chuckled softly.
I knew I could sleep now, with Dean, or maybe not quite…