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Burt and Elizabeth Hummel always knew they wanted kids. Well, maybe that's not true. Like most teenagers, Burt found the idea of kids daunting when he was younger, but from the time him and Elizabeth married, they knew kids were in their future.
Upon looking at his son's face for the first time, Burt knew there was nothing in the world more beautiful and more perfect. He had no idea that it was possible to love anyone more than he loved his wife, but here he was, staring into his son's eyes and feeling perfection in the form of a tiny human being.
Already Burt was imagining all the things he would get to do with his son. He imagined bathing him and counting his toes. He imagined teaching him to ride a bike. He imagined Kurt's first football game. He imagined his son getting all anxious and nervous about his first date and he imagined telling him before he left, "You make sure you treat her right."
Yeah, Burt loved his son and he already loved being a father. He couldn't fathom a reason that Kurt wouldn't always be absolutely perfect in his eyes.
When Burt and Elizabeth took their son home for the first time, they placed him into his crib and looked at him with pride shining in their eyes and they thought about how at home he looked in his blue painted nursery decorated with model cars and Burt's old trophies.
Three years later, they started to notice things.
When Kurt was allowed to watch TV, he automatically gravitated towards shows like Barney and the Wiggles. Kurt would dance around the coffee table singing as loud as he could along with the characters, telling his parents that he would always love to sing and dance. During Christmas that year, Kurt watched the annual televised production of The Nutcracker and fell in love. The next time Elizabeth and Kurt went to the children's clothing store, they returned home with Kurt in a fluffy pink tutu. Burt looked on with concern, but Elizabeth assured him it was nothing to be worried about. Two months later, she signed Kurt up for ballet lessons.
Burt attended Kurt's second lesson, admittedly curious about the whole thing. He noticed two things very clearly. First, Kurt had absolutely lit up. Never in his life had Burt ever seen his son so damn happy. Despite the oddness of the situation, Burt couldn't help but smile right along with him.
The other thing Burt noticed was the parents laughing at Kurt.
He felt a stab of anger at them. How could they laugh at a three year old? And how dare they not even try to conceal it? Kurt danced on, seemingly oblivious to their snickers, and Burt forced himself to focus on his son, not his growing frustration with the class' audience.
Kurt's interest in "girly" things didn't stop there. As he grew older, he continued to reject the offered footballs thrown his way. Every single one of his friends was female. He always dragged his father's hand into the girls' section at Target. He had every word memorized to every song in every Disney princess movie. He cordially invited his parents to tea parties at least once a week.
When Kurt was seven, Burt and Elizabeth sat down at their kitchen table after they put him to bed and finally had the conversation they'd been putting off for years.
"It might not mean anything", Burt started.
"But what if it does?" Elizabeth countered. "Does that change anything for you?"
Burt thought for a moment but all he could say was, "I never thought I'd have a gay son."
Elizabeth shook her head. "Me neither."
They both sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes putting their thoughts into words. Elizabeth broke it. "I love him. I don't think it changes anything for me."
Burt thought about his son. He thought about footballs and cars and girlfriends and bikes and flannel. But that wasn't his son and it never had been. Kurt had always been different and probably always would be. Did he love him any less? Kurt was never going to come home and announce his position on his high school team. Burt could deal with that. Could Burt deal with Kurt instead coming home and introducing them to his boyfriend?
Burt sighed. "I love him. Of course I'll always love him. But I don't know if I'm ready for this."
Elizabeth took his hand. "Honey, we have time. He probably hasn't even realized it himself yet.
And Burt swore, at that moment, to prepare himself for the future. Because he was going to be ready when Kurt was.
A few weeks later, while working on a car in the shop, Burt heard Joey, an employee, jokingly call another employee a fag. Everything in Burt froze up as he listened to the word resonate in his ears. It wasn't like he'd never heard it before; he had said it many times in his life and had never given any thought to it before. But suddenly the word held more gravity. He quickly barked at a bewildered Joey, telling him that word was never allowed in the shop again.
Burt tossed and turned trying to sleep that night, the word still echoing in his ears like a chant.
When Kurt was ten, Burt watched Fox News as they debated the recent legalization of gay marriage in Massachusetts with a stormy head. He had never given any thought to the matter before, but now it was in the forefront of his mind. Sure, he'd stopped seeing gays as a joke, but he still didn't want to watch them kiss or anything. And marriage was between a man and a woman. What would a wedding with two guys even look like?
But then he thought of Elizabeth. He thought of how much he loved her. He thought about what it would have been like if they had never been able to get married. He thought about Kurt (and there was no doubting his sexuality now) and how much he had always dreamed of attending his wedding. He tried to replace the woman in a fluffy white dress with a man in a tux. The image looked a little funny, but it still involved Kurt's beaming face and in that moment, Burt decided that yeah, gays should be able to get married.
Occasionally Burt would hear about a hate crime on the news and his heart would clench. He could understand people who were uncomfortable with gays, hell that had been him until very recently, but he couldn't comprehend how anyone could hurt or kill someone because of it. He tried to block them out, but images of Kurt's battered and bruised body filled his mind and when Burt would tuck Kurt in that night, he'd hug him extra tight before going back to his own room and praying for him to be kept safe in a town like Lima.
A few months later when Kurt started fifth grade, Burt began to notice something else. Kurt got steadily sadder, the spark in his eyes not gone, but faded. He no longer asked his dad to join him for tea parties and he no longer put on impromptu shows for Burt in their living room. Burt also couldn't help but notice that Kurt got much fewer invitations to birthday parties that year and he wasn't all too surprised when he said he didn't want to have a party of his own for his eleventh.
It wasn't hard to figure out what was going on and Burt hadn't ever felt so powerless.
Kurt stopped trying to share tidbits of his life with his father all together and Burt stopped knowing how to reach him.
When Kurt was fifteen, things started to look up for him. He smiled more and Burt figured it was because of that glee club thing Kurt had mentioned joining.
After one of the proudest nights of his life, Burt had gone into Kurt's basement room to tell him goodnight when Kurt looked at him with those eyes full of depth and Burt knew. This was it. Kurt was going to tell Burt what he had been waiting for forever.
"I'm gay."
The words clenched at heart with the knowledge that there was no going back after this. But Burt was ready for this. He looked into Kurt's terrified eyes and how in the hell was he ever worried of loving his son less? Suddenly, the right words just appeared in front of him as if he had rehearsed it a thousand times.
"I know. I've known since you were three. All you wanted for your birthday was a pair of sensible heels. I guess I'm not totally in love with the idea but if that's who you are, nothing I can do about it. And I love you just as much."
Burt watched as his son's face melted into a look of shock and then immense relief. When Burt reached out to him, Kurt nearly fell into his arms into a hug tighter than they'd had in years.
When he got upstairs, Burt leaned against the wall and let the tears he'd been holding back slip down his cheeks. He knew he had a long way to go. Thank god Kurt didn't have a boyfriend yet because that was a conversation he could hold back on for a while.
But there wasn't any doubt in Burt's mind. He was so proud of his son and who he was.