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Tony "Zero Social Skills" Masters

Summary:

“Are you angry?”
“Why would you say that?”
“Well you keep eyeing your knife collection, and honestly, it’s slightly disconcerting.”

Notes:

Work Text:

Wade put the whisker down and sighed heavily, the silent, enraged tension rolling off his husband was thick enough to cut it with a chainsaw.

“Are you angry at me?”

“Why would you say that?” Tony replied cooly, playing with his  Meyerco bolt action knife, twisting it between his fingers or throwing it in the air and catching it back. Wade winced at the icy tone Tony had used and tried to remember if he had done something in the last couple of days that had made the brunet so mad, but the only thing that came to his messy mind was that he and Tony had accepted different jobs a couple of weeks ago and Tony had returned only four nights after with a deep scowl on his face. Wade did two nights after that

But it was since that morning, when Ellie, Kyi and Evan left for school and Tony had appeared at the top of the stairs with an almost murderous look on his eyes, that Wade noted the way Tony would not-so-discreetly eye his ever growing knife collection. And Wade worried.

“Well, you keep eyeing your knife collection everytime you so much look in my direction, and honestly, it’s slightly disconcerting.” He wiped his hands on a cloth and walked towards Tony, sitting in front of the other man. “What happened?” he asked, concerned, reaching to place a hand on Tony’s, but he came to a stop when Tony suddenly stabbed the wooden table and glared at him.

“Are you really asking me that?!” Tony got up, slamming his open hands on the table and stared at Wade. Wade frowned and looked at the furious yellow eyes he had come to both love and fear and wondered what the hell was Tony talking about. Which proved to be an enormous mistake on his part, because Tony mistook Wade’s genuine confusion for his usual “just-play-dumb-and-pretend-you-are-innocent-even-though-you-know-you-are-not” attitude and the rage in his chest grew to a whole new level. “ Are you fucking kidding me, Wade?! ” He started stomping around the big kitchen. “Do you think I’m stupid or some shit like that?”

“I think you are confusing me. I really don’t know what you are talking about here, Tony.”

“Bullshit!” Tony snarled. “You know damn well what I’m talking about. I know you well enough to recognise when you are just playing dumb to avoid something.”

Now it was Wade the one scowling, hurt. Tony was testing Wade’s patience and pushing all of his buttons down knowing Wade would pick up the glove and snap back. People insulted Wade on a daily basis, but at least it was always on things Wade was aware of. Tony never insulted Wade outside of their bickering. And now it was not one of that times.

He gritted his teeth and got up. “Then fucking tell me what the fuck am I playing dumb about, Masters! Because I sure as hell have no goddamn clue!” He raised his voice, his heart starting to beat faster as anger bubbled inside of him.

“You fucking sabotaged my job , Wilson! You killed my employer and because of that I didn’t get paid!” Tony raised his voice too, never slowing down his stomping.

What the fuck are you talking about? I didn’t fucking un-alive anyone on my last job!” Both of them were yelling and flailing their arms at the other one.

“Then why the hell is my employer dead just after you finished your job, huh?!”

“It was a goddamn recovery mission! I just fucking stole some shit in fucking Scotland !” Wade flared his nostrils, glaring at the yellow eyes on the other side of the kitchen. “I fucking told you this, Masters!”

¡¿Entonces quién carajo fue?! ” Tony shouted.

“¡¿ Y yo cómo mierda voy a saberlo?! ” Wade replied. From that moment and for the next four hours, both of them just yelled and lashed out at each other, letting their frustration take over them as they released their anger -on Tony’s part- and Wade’s hurt, until they were both sitting on the countertop, just muttering insults at each other, their voices rough and Tony’s face would show a couple of bruises for the next few days.

“I can’t believe YOU are asking ME to apologise for hitting you when YOU started all of this,” Wade muttered, crossing his arms on his chest. “I’m both offended and flattered about you thinking I would mess up your job this badly. I get it. Most of our contracts are confidential and we can’t really tell each other about them. But once the job was done, you could have fucking mentioned it. For all I know, it could have been Bullseye. I’m sure he’s still bitter about us not inviting him to the wedding.” Tony rolled his eyes but accepted the change of topic. Although he would never admit it out loud, maybe Wade was right. It was a clean shot and there are not many mercenaries with a better aim than them. He would have to do some research. “I’ll accept cuddles as an apology. The kids won’t come home for another hour and a half and you are not getting out of this one, Tasky.” Wade sneaked a peck to Tony’s lips and ran off. “I’ll be waiting upstairs!”

Tony sighed heavily and hopped off the countertop. Even when he did not like him, he could not help loving Wade.

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