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“No! No!” Brightheart shook her head roughly “You can’t, you can’t do this to us please!”
“Brightheart-“ Brackenfur attempted to comfort his sister in a gentle tone before she yowled
“Please! Mother!” Brightheart begged her soft blue eye watering with waters that fractured Frostfur’s heart from deep within.
Biting back her own tears Frostfur breathed in a deep gulp frost fur shook her head, lifting it from its lowered position to stare each of her children in their eyes. Brightheart looking her head on challenging in determination, her strong beautiful starlight. Brackenfur crouched low beside her attempting to comfort his sister despite his own deep trembles. Cinderpelt stood tall her gaze far yet observant seeming to see things beyond the moment. Thornclaw sat further away stationed beside a bush in an defensive position as he watched the forest around them, his gaze occasionally flickering back to the scene
Frostfur attempted to find word of wisdom to gift them, something that would echo beyond her likely short remaining time left and yet she found herself hollow of words of neither comfort or grandeur. “I am a warrior, part of that duty is to ensure our dead is buried. I will see to it.” She declared firmly
Brightheart breathed in a few deep trembles before slowly walking forward and brushing her head against Frostfur’s chest “You know I love you don’t you?”
Frostfur rested her muzzle against Brightheart’s head soaking in her daughter’s minty scent. “You know I have never loved anything more than my children.”
Brightheart shook for a few took quick moments before stepping back and attempting to recompose herself “Okay, okay the rest of you say something, before I decide to stay too.”
Thornclaw raised himself from the corner, stiff but determined her proud son moving to stand in front of her with a deep bow of his head. “What you’re doing, its honourable. Every cat will know that.” He assured firmly as if cementing his words in stone he went to draw back awkwardly but Frostfur closed the distance between them. At first he stiffened but he soon leaned into it his deep breaths sending warm air against her side. Sadly Frostfur realised he was much taller than her now, with everything going on lately she hadn’t even seen that before…
Brackenfur blinked looking around between his siblings his head flashing rabidly unable to keep still as he took in the likelihood it was his turn. “I-I…”
Frostfur smiled tears welling sharply within her once more. “I know.”
Brackenfur moved forward “I want to tell you so much, I just-” he broke off with a low cry and Frostfur brushed past Thornclaw to meet her son head on.
“You don’t have to.” She said drawing him closer with her tail as she took in his warm golden gaze. “You never have to, just keep breathing that’s enough. It always will be for me.”
Cinderpelt was last, her daughter’s gaze introspective as she met her mother’s face. “Though we may meet again on a different plain, under stars of a brighter sky I cannot say this goodbye is any easier knowing that. I love you, I always will”
“How did it go?” Speckletail questioned from where they sat around what’s left of Riverclan’s prey pile. The other elders beginning to return from burying Mudfur. She’d offered to help but was rebuffed, they wanted to do it whilst they still could.
Frostfur’s ears lowered “Nothing has ever been more painful.”
Speckletail didn’t respond just let her head rest against Frostfur’s, she leaned into it. There was nothing else to do now but accept what comfort came, Speckletail was cold thinner than before much so. Her frail bones poking against Frostfur’s head in a quiet reminder of the situation at hand. Speckletail’s fish lay mostly untouched beside them only a few small nibbles.
“It is done.” A gruff raspy voice announced from behind them, Loudbelly moved forward the old tom’s steps haggard with age. Shadepelt fell in beside him the young she-cat’s breaths deep and long, mud engulfing the lower half of her plumed smokey grey fur. She shouldn’t be here, she was far too young but fate had decided otherwise. Frostfur hated fate, it was far too cruel a beast. Making this warrior retire, from a condition that could not be cured forced to join them here in this cage of inability.
“Starclan bless his soul.” Speckletail mewed softly lifting her head away and uptowards the growing night sky above them. They all took it in, some day soon it would be their home. Yet looming so high above as they crouched over an unfamiliar pile of misshapen fish, in a camp surrounded by water and low seeping fog Frostfur couldn’t help but feel unsettled by the skyline she usually found purpose in.
After enough time of contemplation passed Frostfur flicked her tail and announced “Provisions have been made for us, a kittypet named Princess will visit us once a quarter moon and… and well, if she discovers we are in a state that has left our bodies unburied she has agreed to do the honourable thing and see to it we are not carrion food.”
Loudbelly breathed a defeated laugh ringing through. “I was trained to never let a kittypet get within a whisker of my borders, now I’ll be buried by one.”
Speckletail stiffened sharply “She’s agreed to burry the dead, we must respect her.” She practically ordered the tom.
Loudbelly shurgged fatigue marrying dark circles against his brown fur under his distant eyes. “I’m just saying how I feel, all we can do now is talk ain’t it?”
Shadepelt had recovered somewhat, she now eyed the group cautiously before pushing herself towards Loudbelly with a sly smile. “How’d you think the clan is getting on without your shaking legs aye?” She snickered at Frostfur’s and Speckletail’s inquisitive glances “ya see Loudbelly over here, he has a gift. Any time his back legs are shaking there’s a storm brewing. Got so accurate Hawkfrost stopped by the elder’s den every morning for patrols.”
Frostfur snickered whilst Loudbelly dramatically rolled his eyes “Yeahh I’m sure that was the reason, he was standing awful close to you whilst he did.”
Shadepelt gapped blushing slightly “He was not, I was- well I was just closer to the entrance than you is all. I like the morning air.”
Speckletail hummed softly “You liked him too didn’t ya dear?”
Shadepelt flushed “How quickly did we get here!?” She pulled back “Enough about me, you two were queens for a while right? Well talk about some real things why don’t ya?”
Frostfur let her off for now with a slow swish of her tail. “My mate was Lionheart, he was a great warrior of course but” Frostfur laughed “That’s not really the things that stick with me about him, its silly but i always remember he had a rather large mane and this tuft of fur that sometimes stuck out at the back of his head making him look like one of those silly Twoleg-bird. I’d laugh and he’d get embarrassed and try to push it back down only for it to bounce back up like a kit for the moss ball. He was always trying so had like that, I think sometimes he wanted so badly to be seen as better he didn’t ever really realise how good he was in the first place.” Frostfur turned away slightly her mind filled with memories of golden fur, long walks by the oak tree, changing seasons that only made his strong stance all the more noticeable to her.
“He was one of the good ones.” Speckletail confirmed.
“They always are.” Loudbelly agreed in a low tone.
“Did you have a mate too?” Frostfur inquired perhaps a little probingly
Loudbelly shook his head “Nah, I weren’t the type for all that. In this clan, well, lets just say we have a lot of reasons to keep you careful towards that kinda thing. But not having a family didn’t mean I was alone, my brother and sister were always close by. I had an apprentice, got to see her grow, see her be a fish-brained fool with a Thunderclan love she thought no one knew about and I got to live beside my clanmates.”
“Well put.” Speckletail affirmed puffing out her chest. “I say we take this moment to pay respect to all we have lost. So that we may soon see them again.”
“I agree!” Shadepelt piped up with a deep pur “in our own ways we’ve lived lives to be proud of, and the reason we could is because all of those before us. Let us remember them in joy and accept what we’ve already chosen ensuring their memories are shared one last time!”
Loudbelly sat up lifting his head high “To the only thing left we can do, remember.”
The others quickly joined in with booming yowls “To remembering.”
Their days continued like that for a time, a lot of sleeping mostly. Shadepelt would be awake first and take a walk by the river-line trying to find some fish to catch. She wasn’t really successful but her trying despite her clear exhaustion was enough. Frostfur often joined her once she awoke herself, if nothing else but to give her company. Princess eventually came but she didn’t stay long, Frostfur couldn’t blame her. The shock rounding her rippling fur as Princess gapped upon entering Riverclan’s camp was enough to know it wouldn’t be long for 2 of their companions.
Loudbelly and Speckletail rarely left the elders den anymore to do anything but make dirt and well after a little longer, not even that. Then it came for both of them, rather quickly, at least she thinks it was? Frostfur wasn’t quite sure how many dawns passed between the two or if one even did at all She and Shadepelt didn’t speak too much these days. Shadepelt and her dug the graves in silence.
They kept up the routine, walking by the riverline. Frostfur bent down to sniff at the reeds, she wondered if Cinderpelt ever used something like this to secure wounds. They’d splash in the murky waters for a bit, fish rarely appearing. The treeline across the way ever thinner as large booms and cracks sounded. Walk back to camp, it was longer like when she was helping Brightheart after her accident and testing her depth perception. They ate together in silence now, like she did with Brackenfur though it didn’t feel quite so contented. They’d retire to the elder’s den, Frostfur wouldn’t sleep at first. She’d sit idly staring up at the moon like she did when she joined Thornclaw on camp watch.
“Frostfur?” Frostfur jolted upwards as a soft voice sounded behind her stilling as she turned to find Princess trotting up to her. “We were getting a little worried about you there, you doing alright?”
Was she? She felt rather distant from it all. She was so tired, it was kinda hard to feel anything other than that. Where was she even? She blinked forcing herself away from her head to the area around her and realised that she wasn’t even in camp, she was under a willow tree. It was a rather pretty thing with long roots and gracefully cascading leaves. What a nice place to visit.
“Well umm I mostly came by to check up on you two like usual, sorry its been a bit longer. My house folk have been keeping me indoors with all the machines tumbling about.” Princess explained
“Right…” Frostfur echoed she went to look away but something caught her eye. Shadepelt sat behind Princess looking strangely normal? The she-cat looked a little fatigued but definitely not sick or aging, it was like…
“Oh well I guess I better get back then, if you two are alright.” Princess said after a long couple of moments beginning to turn but Frostfur forced herself after her.
“Wait dear, your um twolegs they’re good to you?”
“Frostfur?” Shadepelt tilted her head inquisitively, whilst princess quickly nodded.
“The best.” She said proudly. Her voice a song bird’s bright tone.
“You think they’d take in another?”
“Frostfur what are you doing?” Shadepelt asked agin her voice coming more urgent but Frostfur ignored her for the moment as she watched Princess shift her shoulders.
“Umm maybe, but they’re good housefolk they’d certainly help. But um Frostfur, why?”
Frostfur turned to Shadepelt, the Riverclan warrior’s glossy fur pushing her resolve further. “Go with her” she nodded at the she-cat.
Shadepelt flinched gawking at Frostfur “What? Why on earth would I go with her to be a what? A kittypet?”
“Because you’re not an elder.” Frostfur explained.
“Leopardstar made me one, I am one and we agreed to stay behind to burry the dead.” Shadepelt retorted hotly.
“We agreed to remember them, how better than to live long enough too.” Frostfur rasped her voice beginning to fail her. “I cannot argue Shadepelt, nor force you. But you are not old and you are not sick. The territory is dying andI don’t want you to die from fatigue when you could live many seasons more. You are young and you know it, you’re probably younger than her.” Frostfur flicked her tail at Princess who turned to study shadepelt closer.
“But Loudbelly he’s here, i stayed with him. I was going to stay with him forever. I couldn’t be a warrior as long as I needed but i thought i could at least act as one.” Shadepelt’s voice cracked “I’d be there with them now it weren’t for this fish brained condition! Not here. Not being asked to go against the code as a kittypet!” She fell back on her paws her shoulders sagging as her head dipped low.
Princess moved forward brushing her tail against Shadepelt’s side “You don’t have to decide now. I’ll come back until you ask me to stop.” She promised softly
Shadepelt’s spikey pelt smoothed. “I don’t want to betray them.” She whispered
Frostfur yawned her eyes feeling so heavy, her breaths short. “Just….” She paused what was she saying? “Consider…it.” Frostfur leaned back letting the sleep she desperately wanted take her in a deep wave of black.
Its funny after the time that’s past the idea of a wave claiming felt rather calming, perhaps funnier still Frostfur didn’t even know how long it’d been since they made their vow.
”Did you sleep well?”
”Surprisingly yes, Bird tuft.”
”heh, silly me for thinking you might forget.”
”Mouse-brained indeed.”
”Would you like to join me for a walk?”
”Where too?”
”To being remembered of course”