Chapter Text
PHUM POV
Yep…
I’m 14,000 kilometers away from home.
In Munich.
Staying at my brother’s place.
Celebrating his birthday.
…
How did we end up here?
Good question.
Because, clearly, a lot has happened.
We’ve all grown up.
Well… more or less.
We’ve graduated.
Peem became an artist and now works for my dad.
As for me, I joined the family business.
Tan took over the family garage… and against all odds, he’s become really good at it.
So good, in fact, that he’s starting to make a name for himself in town.
And Fang…
Fang never gave up.
Despite the pressure.
Despite the exhaustion.
Despite the urge to quit sometimes.
He kept going.
Ph.D. in architecture.
Specializing in social architecture and ecological development.
Yes.
My brother is that kind of person.
He wasn’t the only one.
Beer went on to study civil engineering.
Chain continued his studies and became a dentist and orthodontist.
The others… dropped out of school to start working.
The first year was… strange.
It felt like we were out of sync.
We were already working.
Fang, on the other hand, was still a student.
And yet…
he was practically living with Tan.
It was strange.
They hadn’t officially moved in together.
But Fang had his things all over Tan’s place.
And Tan would sometimes come over to our place.
In reality…
they almost never spent a night apart.
And yet…
nothing was official.
No one asked the question.
But everyone thought about it.
Then everything changed.
Fang got accepted.
A one-year university exchange.
In Germany.
At one of the most prestigious schools in Europe.
A golden opportunity.
A dream.
And yet…
he hesitated.
Because Fang had been dreaming of that school for years.
He’d already tried.
Several times.
Without success.
But this time…
it was the one.
Except now…
there was Tan.
The day Fang received the email, he called me.
Three times.
I didn’t answer.
When I called him back…
he was already at the company building. So he came to my office.
— Sorry, Fang, I didn’t see your calls. Is everything okay?
— Not at all, Phum… I don’t know what to do anymore.
— What do you mean?
— I got in. To Ildengarhen.
— … Fang, that’s incredible. Congratulations.
— Really?
— Of course. It’s extremely selective. Only one person is chosen in Asia each year… and it’s you.
…
— You can be proud of yourself.
He paused.
Then:
— I’m not sure I’m going to go.
— WHAT?! But why, Fang?
— Because of Tan.
I sighed.
— You think Tan would stop you from going? Seriously?
— No… that’s not it.
Silence.
— I never told him about it.
That’s when I understood.
— I was convinced I’d never get in… so I didn’t say anything.
— And now?
— Now… I’m scared.
- Scared of what?
- Not just for him… For me, too.
His voice changed.
Lower.
More fragile.
“I don’t know who I am without Tan anymore.”
…
“He’s a part of me.”
Silence.
“And if I leave…
and he realizes he’s better off without me?”
I looked at him.
For a long time.
— Fang… you’re imagining things.
He looked down.
— Talk to him. You can’t be afraid of reactions you’re imagining.
I stepped closer to him.
— Be honest with him.
That’s the only thing you have to do.