Work Text:
The town passed quickly by the window of the bus. Houses, trees and stop signs blurred together into vague colors and shapes. Kageyama didn’t notice any of them as he looked out the glass, deep in thought.
They had lost the final game of the practice match and, though it wasn’t technically a “real” game, he couldn’t help but feel like it had been a major failure on their end.
They could have won. They had been so close. If Hinata had been a millisecond faster on his last jump, if Tanaka hadn’t tried to block that bluff, if Daichi had been two steps to the left of where he had been standing… It was all the little things that added up.
His own mistakes, of course, were what weighed on him the most. All the moments when he tossed the ball a bit too slow, a bit too early, a bit too close to the net. He didn’t run as fast as he should’ve, didn’t see the other team’s strategy before it was too late, didn’t pay enough attention to his teammates.
He sighed and leaned his head back on the seat, letting his eyes refocus on passing powerlines and pedestrians. Everyone else was asleep, exhausted from the match. Kageyama was just as tired as all of them, but restless, wide awake. He couldn’t let himself sleep, instead playing his mistakes back again on loop, every lost point, every missed opportunity.
On the way out of the gym, Suga had noticed he was upset and told him not to sweat it. Daichi had given a small speech about how, despite losing, they played a very good match, and should be proud of how far they got. Everyone else seemed, at the most, resigned to the outcome of the game, but Kageyama felt the pressure of the loss more firmly than anyone. His status as this “incredible child prodigy” was what made him a valuable player. If he messed up, if contributed to losing them a game… it was worse for him because there were more expectations placed on him than on any of his teammates.
So he kept turning the match over in his mind, over and over and over, to see where he had gone wrong. It would probably be impossible for him to let go of it without some sort of distraction.
At that exact moment, Kageyama felt something hard land on his shoulder. He was startled enough to be pulled from his thoughts. He soon found out what it was. Hinata, who’d been sitting next to him, had probably shifted in his sleep, and landed with his head resting on Kageyama’s arm.
Kageyama’s immediate instinct, of course, was to push him off. He moved to do this, but then Hinata shifted a bit more and it stopped him for some reason. Hinata looked peaceful asleep more peaceful than he’d ever seen him, probably calmer than he had ever been while awake.
Not only that, but he was close. Hinata’s hair was brushing against Kageyama’s neck, and he found it hard to convince himself that he didn’t like it. He could feel his breath on his shirt. It made Kageyama’s heart hammer in his chest and in less than a second flat he had forgotten all about the match.
Kageyama decided to leave Hinata the way he was. If he woke him up, Hinata would bother him the whole way home. He was finally getting some peace for once and a grumpy and irritated Shouyou sitting beside him for an hour and a half would definitely ruin that. That’s what he told himself.
In truth, he didn’t want Hinata to push away from him. He didn’t want to have to stop looking at him. Kageyama never had been good at looking at him when he was awake. He felt self-conscious, like he was breaking some sort of unspoken rule (this was despite the fact that Hinata wasn’t nearly as subtle about staring back). Seeing him like this was different. Touching him like this was different. It was gentle and quiet and also strangely easy, comfortable.
Hinata’s head was warm and also quite heavy for someone so brainless. Kageyama wished Hinata had been awake so he could tell him that amd then the two of them could argue about it for a while like they always did. Then again, if Hinata was awake, he wouldn’t have put his head on Kageyama’s shoulder, so Kageyama decided it was fine the way it was. Not that he was happy that he’d been chosen as a headrest, but at least when Hinata was asleep he couldn’t piss him off. It was definitely that and not something like actually wanting Hinata’s head to be on his shoulder on purpose, which, of course, would be crazy to want, so obviously Kageyama didn’t want it.
When Sugawara appeared beside them, Kageyama nearly jumped out of his skin. He looked away from Hinata so fast, it was almost comical. He felt like he had been caught doing something wrong, though he wasn’t actually doing anything at all.
“You guys ok?” Suga asked. “Not carsick or anything? I have to check, since we’ve had… incidents in the past.”
Kageyama nodded quickly, having a hard time meeting Sugawara’s eyes. His cheeks felt warm, like he was blushing, which would be very embarrassing, which didn’t help with the blush. Suga smiled, like he could understand the situation he was seeing better than Kageyama could, which was not at all fair, because Kageyama was the one being forced to live it.
“Let me know if you need any help with anything, ok?” and though he addressed both of them, he looked at Kageyama, like he was trying to convey something more than what he was actually saying. Kageyama was always bad at interpreting these sorts of things, though.
“Well, my shoulder’s starting to hurt,” he complained, “not sure you can help with that one.”
Suga laughed, not in a mean way. His laugh was never mean. His eyes were warm, empathetic, like he had been in Kageyama’s exact spot in the past.
“I’m afraid you’ll have to figure that one out yourself,” he said, and then he walked away.
The longer they stayed the way they were, the more Kageyama’s shoulder ached. At this point, it might be better for Hinata to wake up already. A metaphorical pain in the ass would be better than a real, physical pain in the back. Even so, every time the bus jolted slightly Kageyama found himself worried that Hinata would wake up and shift away from him, and the moment would be over just like that.
That never happened, though, at least not to Hinata. Tsukishima, on the other hand, clearly had a lower tolerance for being jostled. After a few speed bumps, he stirred on the other side of the aisle, slowly waking up. He looked in Kageyama’s direction and laughed, dryly.
“Looks like somebody found himself a pillow,” he teased, half-mumbled, still rubbing sleep out of his eyes. Kageyama scowled in his direction.
“Shut up.”
“What? Worried I’ll wake little Sleeping Beauty?”
Just as Kageyama started to lift his arm to argue, Hinata shifted on his shoulder, moving in just the right way that Kageyama’s elbow smashed directly into his nose, waking him up with a start.
“What the-?” He looked around in confusion before finding the reason for his violent awakening. “Ouch!” he said, offended.
“Oh good, he’s awake,” Tsukishima deadpanned. Hinata ignored him.
“Why did you do that?”
“I didn’t do anything,” Kageyama protested, “you’re the dumbass that decided to move his head right when I was raising my arm.”
“How is this my fault? I just woke up!”
They were back to their old routine, bickering back and forth, as though Kageyama’s entire semi-crisis had never happened at all. A few seats in front of them, Sugawara sighed and elbowed a very sleepy-looking Daichi.
“Your turn to take care of it.”