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In all his years in the palace, Hyunjin could never imagine the betrayal that would hurt him most would come from his husband of all people. The person he fell in love with back in the southern province in his young days. Standing before his vanity mirror, dressed in soft luxurious silks draped over his beautiful body, still untouched by the passage of time even after motherhood. A dry laugh escapes his lips as his chest heaves against all those heavy layers of clothes, his hands trembling from the surge of emotions as his smile falters once more in his reflection. All this beauty that others envied, his greatest quality. The one aspect that separated him from all the other people in the Rear Palace.
Was it all for naught?
The lessons he took under the scrutiny of Governess Yong, that shrewd old woman who despised every student that went under her tutelage over her long career as a teacher of palace etiquette.
His headdress weighs heavy upon his hair done up in his hairstyle that the maid had done so wonderfully this morning. A golden lotus carved with gold wires and welded together like water. The hairpin that Chan gave him the first night they saw each other, a simple jade pin with a lotus hanging off the end with a very sharp end. He wears it every day without fault because his beloved adored it. Its weight and lustre reminded him of their young love. Hyunjin lets out a breath of resignation as his eyes downcast to gaze upon the floor. The marbling was so gorgeous and detailed, his entire palace was designed with that in mind. The pillars are painted in red lacquer, the vases intricate and beautiful. *'Just like you.'* Chan told him so long ago Hyunjin can’t seem to comprehend how long it had been.
That faithful night out on the terrace, on that boat out in the middle of the Long River that flowed through his hometown. Chan stood in his beautiful custom crafted hanfu, emulating the style of an imperial student who came to study when he was truly the emperor under that disguise. Not that it was clever or anything, Hyunjin could see through him at a first glance at the teahouse that he was no student but at least a nobleman of high ranking coming to have a sample of the local cuisine.
With only the soft glow of the lanterns on the terrace, Hyunjin saw the soft glow shining onto the features of his love. His breath was taken away, his beating heart running at high speeds, his words caught in his throat as Chan held out the jade hairpin to him. A symbol of his love and Hyunjin’s rapid shift in status. How could Hyunjin foresee his new life? When he was blinded from the prospect of being with Chan he didn’t know he was diving head first into the mother nest of vipers.
From the commoner who started at the bottom, Hwang Cairen, to now Virtuous Consort Hwang. He was on top of all the vipers who came his way to sow discourse between him and his love. His husband, the father of their two sons. Two children Hyunjin had blessed him when others failed in their duty to provide the empire with any heirs. Hyunjin, a commoner from the backwaters of the south, managed to do a feat they could not. He grips his fist hard just thinking about it, digging his nails into his palm until it breaks skin.
The man turns away from his mirror with a jaded complexion that has come to his ease now, a gentle smile, kind eyes and a well placed countenance. His fingers were beautifully laid with nail guards, signifying his now noble status in not doing labor. The gold is tight around both his ring and pinky fingers while he steps out of the Palace of Heavenly Favor, his residence when he rose to the rank of Imperial Concubine.
The sun shone upon the glimmers of his gown as he took heavy steps into the courtyard to board his palanquin, steps he nearly struggles to take with his heart pounding every second and the blood rushing to his head as he boards the palanquin.
Chan had praised him so much when he was with child, caressing him softly and cupping his cheek so gently as he whispered sweet praise to Hyunjin. Butterflies had sprouted in his stomach and Hyunjin could not help but swoon as his heart grew warm and he just leaned into the emperor’s touch.
Placing his hand on top of his husband’s, “I’ve done my duty wonderfully, did I not?”
“You have my wild flower, so brilliantly.” Chan replied, placing a peck on Hyunjin’s forehead as his left hand traveled down to caress the younger’s soft stomach.
It was magical to have his full time and attention that was so fleeting and hard to come by in the Imperial Rear Palace. The other concubines wanted his place, and they would not step down from it. So he was harmed time and time again from those vicious vipers, his pride broken down, his resolve torn and his dignity questioned over and over again he cannot count how many times it was called into question.
And every time he shed tears for all the harm they did to him, when his heart ached, his mouth grew dry from defending himself. Chan had come to save him in the early years of their relationship. His hero, his light at the end of the tunnel when things felt hopeless. Hyunjin had thought he could trust Chan forever. That even with all these people beside them that wanted to break them apart, hurt Hyunjin and cast him far out from Chan, and into the footnotes of the history books never to be seen again. With the most powerful man in the kingdom holding his affections, and with a child between them, their sweet Hyunwook. Not even the heavens could tear apart their family.
Those three words he always held close to his heart, "Don't you worry.”
He learned the hard way that he could not solely depend on Chan for protection, when he believed the words of Consort Jia over his own.
Hyunjin closed his eyes tightly as flashes of the screams and cries flew across his mind. This cries of his child when he was left alone to his own devices, banished to the cold palace never to be let out again until further notice. The torture he endured under the cruel guards who mercilessley bullied him and treated him worse than the bugs beneath their boots. The burn marks from making his own fire in the cold shivering dingy room still remain even to this day under all the silks.
He pressed a hand over his forearms where the scars were most rampant, tears flooding his sight as the phantom pain surged as the cruel guards kicked him over and over again even as he was limp on the ground. A chime echoed in the palanquin as he raised his head and wiped the tears off his cheek. Shaking off the bad memories of the past.
Stepping out of the palanquin, the hairpin weighs heavier than ever he’s met with the absolute grandeur of the emperor’s personal residence.. The Palace of Heavenly Union. South of it is just the Palace of Earthly Tranquility, the residence of the empress. The palace that was supposed to be rightfully his as the mother of the heir, it was a great wonder time and time again Chan would not make good on his promise to name Hyunjin his empress.
Hyunjin did not vie for the power the position held, he wanted the meaning behind it. For as empress, he would be Chan’s primary wife. His equal in all standing and name. His heart aches, his sweat gathers in his nape, nearly tripping over his own feet when he sees Chan in his study. Hyunjin resists from putting a hand over his beating heart to calm down, not from excitement or love.
But anger.
Anger from the times Chan gave him the cold shoulder because of a small disagreement. Because Hyunjin did not act like a proper man of noble birth. That he was not as sophisticated as the other concubines of the harem that had been born into this world and prepared every day and hour to be thrust into a world of political games, schemes, and twisting conversations of the court. Hyunjin pressed his lips until they felt sore and bruised, fearing if he were to open them, a trail of insults and resentment would follow. A practiced curtsy, a jaded smile. That is what Hyunjin learns Chan likes, because he is nothing more than a conquest for the emperor to best and win over. Educating a wild beast into domestication. He despises nothing more.
“This consort greets his majesty.” The words come out prime and polished, even when Hyunjin’s teeth are gritted afterwards and his grip on his left hand in the salute so tight his blood circulation in his arms might well be non-existent.
“Rise, please join me Consort Hwang.” Chan smiles, gesturing Hyunjin to sit with him on the couches a few paces from them.
The emperor is much too busy to entertain every concubine who comes and seeks out his attention, with the sole exception of Hyunjin of course. The mother of his heir deserves special treatment above all else. Oh the people can see so clearly the love the emperor holds for Consort Hwang, how he treasures the man so. Just not enough to name him his empress.
“Are you enjoying the gift I sent you?” Chan asks absent mindedly as he sips on his tea. His tone so cheery and casual one might think he was asking his pet if he liked the treat he fed it.
“The craftsmanship exceeds my expectations as usual my lord.” He returns his sentiment as usual. Like a doll meant to perform a task perfectly without fault, every time.
His gifts have grown more in value but are increasingly declining in thoughtfulness. Hyunjin once cherished these gifts as if they were made of the stars themselves. But now he has resorted to stuffing them into a storage room if he does not like them, or can see through Chan’s intentions with the gift, which is nothing.
His personal maid and grown worried over his actions, but with Hyunjin’s cold glare and blatant disinterest, she has taken to putting them away silently without complaint. The hairpin in his hair feel tighter and heavier than ever, overwhelming him with reminders of what *had* been. He subconsciously reached up to adjust it, pulling it out just a bit as Chan continued on.
“That brings me great pride in hearing.” Chan’s proud voice echoes through the halls of the palace.
His hand placed on his knee and his expression so delighted and taut as if he had just secured a victory for his army. So convinced that giving out this useless gift of high material value was cementing his claim on Hyunjin like some toy he can bring out anytime he wanted.
‘’I have something to discuss with your majesty. On the matter of the Empress…” Hyunjin starts, his posture perfect and his tone perfectly still, his eyes are flickering at high speeds while he can feel Chan’s body moving.
“It is settled.” His tone harsh and cut short, his tea cup slams so hard against the marble table that even Hyunjin flinched from the suddenness of it all.
“There is nothing to say.” Chan turned to the side, his eyes cold. It always puzzled Hyunjin endlessly, that over the years Chan can switch between loving and cold seamlessly every time.
“That is a lie and you know it to be so.” Hyunjin furrowed his brows, his knuckles turning white from how tight he had been gripping on his robe. His lips were going to bleed if he was going to bite them any more so than he already has.
“You promised.” He croaked out, Hyunjin’s voice cracking from the tears he had been holding back. For 10 whole years of resilience and patience.
“You promised to make me Empress.” He finished, as he bowed his head.
“It’s just not possible.” Chan sighed, his words drawn out as if he was exhausted from repeating himself over and over again.
“The court would not stand for it-”
“The court can go fuck themselves on that matter.” Hyunjin’s words cut through Chan's own like broken glass.
“Hyunwook is heir to the throne, what excuse do you have now that denies me my right to stand beside you as your equal?” His voice rose in volume as he slowly stood up from where he was seated. Those brown eyes of his glaring into Chan’s own with intensity and determination. After all this time, all those promises of making him his wife were nothing but lies,
“You are my equal in all but name Hyunjin, why must it be that you are so…greedy?” Chan retorted, rubbing his temples and he clicked his tongue in annoyance. His eyes gazed up to look into Hyunjin, so in pain and so disappointed in him. As if Hyunjin was the person at fault.
Greedy?
Him, Hwang Hyunjin of the Wei Province, Virtuous Consort of the Sui Empire, who has never asked for more than necessary. Who endured all the snide and poisonous comments from his peers, nobles, even servants. Hwang Hyunjin, who even when his food was reduced to spoiled vegetables and stale rice when his favor was withdrawn did not utter a single word of complaint. Him, who was willing to look past Chan’s negligence to him and their child. Hyunjin who had to cut back on his paintings because it gave the royal family a bad look. Greedy?
“You can go fuck yourself, your majesty.”
Hyunjin uttered those words loud enough for his benevolent husband to hear. His breathing calmed down, entering a soothing state of joy as this weight of resentment was finally lifted off his shoulder. Nearly a decade of festering has been poured out into those six words alone. A smile stretched across his face in ecstasy and his arms fell to his sides as he witnessed Chan go ballistic.
Everything just goes quiet for him, out of the corner of his eye he can see Chan’s furrowed brows and mouth agape, most definitely yelling at him. His right hand reaches for his hairpin in an array of his complex hairstyle, the jade hairpin that Chan gave him all of those years ago. Pulling out slowly as if he was brandishing his sword in battle. The light from one of the window blinds his eye as he raises the sharp hairpin in Chan’s direction: a smile etched across the consort’s lips in pure unobstructed glee to see the terrified look on Chan’s face as he gapes at the potential weapon in Hyunjin’s hands.
Hyunjin narrows his gaze as Chan turns to the side and frantically calls for guards to apprehend him. Oh how typical of him to think only of himself, he could just laugh at the absurdity of it all. He can hear the guard‘s heavy footsteps brewing through those halls right this moment. The moment they barge in, he feels nothing when he raises the hairpin to his neck.Right below his left ear.
And in one swift moment slashes his neck wide open.
It’s all a blur to him as blood gashes out his neck and stains the couches and table, ruining his dress and even got onto Chan himself. The world is crashing down on him as he falls down to the floor, only to be cradled in someone’s arms.
Blood is rapidly escaping his body as he spurts out blood from his mouth and coughs, turning to see it is Chan who had caught him. Horrified gaze and all, his mouth is moving rapidly, Hyunjin doesn't wonder what he’s saying. How could you do this to me? Stay with me. I'm so sorry Jinnie. Come back to me please. Don't die on me.
Goodbye Chan, you never truly knew me. Hyunjin looks up to the tapestry on the ceiling, smiling so brightly as his pain is finally coming to an end. Hyunwook is safe with Consort Lee, he needs not worry about his younger son either.
A single tear drops on Hyunjin’s cheek as the light leaves his eyes, his hand falls still by his side and his head lulls to the side like a puppet that had cut off all its strings. All anyone can hear are the blood curdling screams of the emperor surrounded by his guards as his beloved consort bleeds to death in his arms.