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Swallowing around the lump in his throat, Percy met Blue's eyes with a wavering determination on his face. He was going to do the right thing, he was going to cut them free and let them exist in a better place than what he could give them. He knew it was the right thing to do, he couldn't love them how they deserved to be loved, he was too broken to manage it. Too rusty and damaged to give them everything in the world. Someone else would be better, someone else could love them better. Percy knew all of this.
He did.
That didn't mean this wasn't hard.
Didn't mean he didn't know that it was going to hurt them.
Blue's smile was strained, he thought they might know what was coming.
Percy's hand reached out and he rubbed his thumb down their face, catching on the corner of their mouth for a second. He could remember their last kiss, he almost wanted to lean in and ignore what he knew was the right thing. He wanted to taste them one last time and forget the problems in their world just a bit longer.
But he couldn't do that.
Blue's hand reached up to meet Percy's, but he pulled it back. "Blue…" Blue's face cracked a bit as they let their grin go and Percy had to watch as their eye's misted over.
"Don't do this, Percy." Catching their hand from reaching over and scratching at their arm, Percy fiddled with their fingers for just a second.
He needed to do this.
He would miss this.
"I'm not good enough for you, Blue." Blue's face broke open and all the compassion they held in their heart spilled over. "I'm so sorry I let this go on for so long."
"I get to decide who's good for me, Perseus. I say you are good and kind. Don't do this. Please Percy." Blues voice cracked a broke on his name and Percy had to look away from them to the ceiling and then the floor and then the window. He was doing the right thing.
"It's for your own good, Blue. I'll hurt you and I don't want to do that. Let me stop this before I do something we'll both regret." Blue's hands fluttered at their sides as if they wanted to reach out to Percy only to stop from doing so. Percy's throat ached and his heart gave a painful throb in his chest. "I'm sorry, Blue, but we can't keep doing this. I can't keep seeing you like this."
There had been far too many times that Percy cancelled plans. Far too many times that he flaked and bailed. Too many promises broken and left in the dust. Percy wasn't good for Blue and he needed them to see this. "Percy… we can work through this, I know we can."
Shaking his head, Percy met their green eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Blue's tears finally began to fall and Percy wanted to reach out. He wanted to pull them into his chest and hold them tight like he did back before they even got together. Back when things were simpler and Percy was someone who could help Blue in their time of need.
He never should have let it get this far. Never should have done everything he had done. He had known from the beginning that he wasn't good enough for the bright light that was Blue Savory. Turning around and walking out of the apartment while Blue stood there crying was the hardest thing Percy had done in a long time, but it was needed. He was broken, damaged beyond repair. No glue or act of love could hold his aching heart together and he couldn't give them something so despaired. It wouldn't be fair to them.
Stopping outside their door, Percy finally answered Blue's long whispered confession, but in the only way he knew how. "I'm doing this because I do love you, Blue. I'm doing this for you." Blue would never hear his confession, but he had needed to say it out loud, just once. That was all he would allow himself. He loved them too much to allow himself to hurt them in the only way he knew he would. He would drag them down to his level and they didn't deserve that.
Resting his hand against the door, Percy felt a single tear fall down his face before he turned and walked away. Leaving Blue to pick up the pieces of their heart and going to nurse his own bruises. He did this for Blue. He did…
That didn't mean he didn't break his own heart into even smaller sections than it already was fractured into.
Walking in the door of his house, Percy bee lined to his room and texted Jamie and Elio letting them know they were on their own for dinner, he didn't have it in him to make a meal, to even look at something good. Not when he had just hurt the one person who tried to stand by him in the way he so craved. Running a hand through his hair and pulling the hair tie out of place, Percy fell to his knees and heaved a shaking breath into his lungs. He wasn't going to pretend here. He wasn't going to say he was fine when he was alone.
He wasn't. He had just let go of the person who had carved their name into his very soul. Percy couldn't give Blue what they deserved, but Blue had certainly given Percy more than he had ever dreamed of receiving.
Clutching at his shirt over his heart, Percy fought for each breath and fought not to call Elio or Blue. He deserved this pain. He had hurt Blue, had walked out as they cried. Had been the cause of their tears once again. Had marred them in ways he never wanted to mar anyone. Tears slipped out of his eyes and his hand tightened painfully on his chest. He could breathe and it was his own stupid fault.
All of it was his own stupid fault.
He deserved this and every tear he was set to cry because of what he did to Blue.