Work Text:
“What the fuck am I doing…” Unstable mumbled, his breath visible amongst the cold that surrounded him. He stared down at the grave below him.
In loving memory and honor of,
Realistic_Day
Brother and co-worker
He stared at the stone, eyes void of what one would typically expect from a grieving family member. It’s not like his brother’s death mattered to him, not like it was supposed to. He barely knew him.
His whole life was spent handing him off to his other brothers. It’s not like he didn’t understand why he did it. He knew what kind of life he was brought into. He knew what him being here had caused to his family. It was something he understood very well yet he could not shake off the stinging pain that followed those thoughts.
He threw his cigarette down into the snow, watching the flame sizzle out as it hit the white beneath it.
It was a waste of time being here. Trying to mourn a man he’d never truly known and would never get to know. He stomped down onto the cigarette, truly a meaningless action yet it was his only viable way of expressing his growing frustration at his pitiful situation. He slammed his foot down on the cigarette again, and again, and again. Snow flew at each of his actions, splattering onto the smooth stone that marked his brother's resting place.
All of his family was dead, as far as he was concerned. There was no one left in the world to care for him. They were all either dead or dead to him. He’d long given up hope of ever finding him. Missing for god knows how many years what hope was there of finding where he had gone. Unpredictable and Realistic had stopped bothering to search long before he did. He tried to not give up, to not lose hope. He couldn’t lose hope in the only person who had never given up hope for him.
His foot stopped. He tensed up, feeling his warm tears sting against his freezing skin. He stood there, in the cold quietly crying over his brother's grave. Not grieving for him, no, he was grieving his hope. His hope to one day be reunited with his best friend. His brother. The one person who had ever looked out for him.
He sniffled, the cold air stinging his nose and lungs. He tilted his head back, looking up towards the empty sky. Snowflakes fell onto his face, gently resting against his skin.
“Why did you leave?”
He mumbled into nothing. The wind offered no comfort to the grieving operative.
“We were supposed to be in this together…”
“Why did you leave Radiant?”
.
.
.
Radiant sighed, pulling his jacket closer to himself. He walked through the cold streets of Aurora. The cold air stung against his face as he trenched through the soggy, cold streets.
He hurriedly tucked himself into an alleyway, seeking shelter from the wind. He looked down into the alley, noticing how wet and dirty it was. He scowled at the sight, the streets of this city were truly disgusting. He turned away from the mess, it wasn’t like he was going to clean it up so why bother complaining? His job wasn’t to clean the streets.
He dug into his coat pocket, fumbling around for his pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He harshly pulled both out and once again fumbled with his hands to get a cigarette out. He frowned at how unsteady his hands were. “Fuck…” He cursed under his breath as he struggled to light the cigarette, dropping the rest of the box onto the wet pavement below him. He managed to light his cigarette and kicked the box away in frustration. Some addicts would probably scramble to salvage them later. He took a drag from his cigarette, exhaling and watching the smoke face into the cold air. He looked out onto the street outside of the alley. Watching people hurry by, scrambling to get away from the cold gusts of air that plagued the streets.
It was always during this time of year when he would think of his siblings. It didn’t help that he had recently been informed of his eldest brother’s passing…well his passing was not recent. It had been who knows how long since the guy died but he had never been informed until now. He let out another puff of smoke. “Oh Realistic, what a disappointment I must've been to you.” He chuckled under his breath, the smoke scratching at his throat. Perhaps it had been a good idea to leave behind the thought of ever facing Realistic again. He never would be able to do so now.
It’s not exactly something to grieve over. He was quite sad at the news but it wasn’t worth expressing. As if it really mattered if he was sad. Realistic would have been insulted at his grief. He was a disappointment to their lineage.
He took another drag of his cigarette.
He did wonder how Unpredictable and Unstable were taking the news though…or well had taken them. They knew long before him. He smirked, he really was the worst brother in the world wasn’t he? Completely unaware of what was occurring in his sibling’s lives.
It wasn’t that he didn’t love them. He did. He loved them a lot.
He just…
“Oh who am I kidding?” He frowned at his reflection in the puddle beside him. Radiant was never good at taking accountability. Always seeking some sort of excuse to justify his poor decisions.
He took a deep breath, his cigarette lazily handing in between his fingers. He looked up towards the cold sky. Clouds hiding whatever stars could have been shining down on the city. He bit his tongue, suppressing his urge to cry. It was stupid to cry over his own pitiful decisions.
“God— Fucking dammit!—” He threw his cigarette into the puddle, obscuring the reflection of his own image.
He raised his hands to force away the tears threatening to spill over.
“How could you ever forgive me Unstable?”
“I’m so fucking sorry.”
His pager buzzed. He stood, eerily still. He didn’t want to check it.
Alas, he could not ignore work. He dug his hand into his coat, fetching his pager.
Perhaps he should focus more on his work. It would save him from these… soggy sentimental moments.
.
.
.
“What are ya’ doin’ out here!!”
Unstable flinched and turned around, only to be hit in the face with a heavy leather coat.
“Put that on before you catch a cold dumbass!” A laugh followed those words. A laugh Unstable new all too well.
He let out a short laugh. “Thanks, Dreadful.”
He put on the coat he was giving, with no urgency in his movements. That seemed to annoy the other operative. As she was about to make another remark towards him, she noticed how… pitiful he looked. She closed her mouth, instead deciding to walk towards him and pat him on the back. “We should probably get out of the snow soon, Weather Man says it’s gonna be pourin’ it with snow soon!”
She gave him a cheeky smile, “Pluuus, I managed to get my hands on a copy of Possum!” Unstable raised an eyebrow at her. “The fuck is THAT? Some animal documentary?” He asked teasingly. She gasped, moving away from him and putting a hand over her heart. “Oh I will have you know Possum is a 2018 horror film directed by—”
Unstable gave a tired smile, mostly tuning out his friend. Soft moments like this always flooded his brain with memories of what used to be and with thoughts of what could have been.
There was no use in fretting about such things any longer.
He began walking, presumably in the direction of Dreadful's residence.
“Hey are you even listening?! Wait for me you meanie!!” Dreadful ran to catch up to him. He laughed at her, basking in the warmth of the moment. She looked at him, a blank expression on her face before she too erupted in laughter.
Maybe life was not all that miserable.