Chapter Text
Today was, surprisingly, a good day. Jax liked to tell himself that every day was a good day for him, but he knew that wasn't true. He wasn't even sure if there was such thing as a proper day, since it seemed like Caine just had the sun and moon move based on how he was feeling. Still, they'd had a decent adventure, and now it was nighttime.
The adventure had taken place in a cave, with everyone having to spelunk around and retrieve gems to bring back to an NPC dwarf colony. At first, Jax had done his usual routine of trying to sabotage everyone and torture them in whatever ways he could find (he gave various Zooble parts to the dwarves instead of jewels, pushed Ragatha into a hole, and used Gangle as climbing equipment), but eventually the point of the whole ordeal started to grow on him. There was something fun, if monotonous, about finding the various kinds of stones and passing obstacles to get to new areas of the cave. He'd even genuinely laughed with everyone a few times when their complicated plans to cross ravines or squeeze through passages failed, and didn't bother to break Gangle's comedy mask when he had the chance right at the end. It had been... fun.
Now, everyone had gathered back at the circus for a digital feast in celebration. The food wasn't needed, but Caine had improved a little over time with the flavors. Jax sat at the end of the long table, trying various dishes as he playfully bickered with the others. He liked the food more than anyone else there, maybe because of its abundance. He didn't have to worry about paying for his next meal or decide between rent and dinner. He could eat as much as he wanted, whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. The slight blandness of the food didn't bother him.
"The cake is yummy..." Gangle said. She had been nibbling at some strawberry cake for a while, taking dainty bites as she watched Zooble argue with Jax. The latter glanced over as she spoke, reaching out and grabbing the plate and fork from her.
"Sharing is caring!" He grinned, taking an unnecessarily large bite. He'd normally eat the rest in front of her entirely, but he was feeling generous today and pushed the plate back over. "You're right, that does hit the spot. Maybe I'll get some for myself next time. Eh, it's easier to just take more of yours."
"I always get it." Gangle, surprisingly, didn't burst into tears. She didn't even seem upset, just going back to eating. "You can have a bite of mine next time too, if you don't want a whole piece."
Jax frowned, unhappy with her lack of reaction. It didn't hurt as much as it normally would, but he still wanted to get a rise out of her somehow. Shoving a plastic-looking turkey leg into his mouth, he chewed obnoxiously. She still didn't react.
"Don't be a weirdo about this, okay? I know anime freaks like you get all riled up thinking about indirect kisses and stuff like that." He poked one of her ribbons, eating some more turkey. At this point, he didn't exactly need to have any more. He was starting to feel kind of full, which he typically liked to avoid in order to maintain a nonchalant image.
Gangle blushed slightly. "I-I wasn't gonna do that... I didn't think of it until you mentioned it." She seemed to consider something for a moment before getting a spark of courage in her eyes and looking up at him. "It sounds like you were the one who considered it right away."
Jax felt a flush run up his neck, and he crunched on the turkey bone in annoyance.
"I-I..." For some reason, his sharp comeback failed him, and he trailed off. He didn't know what to say. He'd gotten so used to receiving no pushback from Gangle that he hadn't thought one step ahead to anticipate her response. Now, he was the one whose face was burning with embarrassment. More than that, the knowledge that he was showing it, showing that he was caught off guard and blushy and stupid, that increased his humiliation tenfold. The various foods he'd shoved into his stomach began to churn. All of this over such a dumb comment? She hadn't gotten him that badly.
Gangle's eyes were wide with interest, and she stared up at him in surprise for a moment before returning to her food. It was clear that his reaction had startled her just as much as it had him. Jax tried to recover, but it seemed like his thoughts were running away from him in different directions. He'd been too soft today, allowed himself to get too comfortable. He'd started thinking of the other people in the circus as his teammates, even as his friends, and he'd paid less and less mind to his image and the distance he'd cultivated over the course of the adventure. Now, he felt a sour taste rise in his throat. They wouldn't take him seriously anymore. They'd start to -- God forbid -- like him, and liking someone only led to hating or losing.
Jax was suddenly very aware of the amount he'd eaten, heavy and sloshing in his stomach. He stared at the plate, taking a deep breath to try to calm it.
"Are you okay?" Gangle asked softly. She'd noticed. Jax waved a hand dismissively, using the other to cover his mouth.
"S-shuddup..." he muttered sloppily, the words almost activating his gag reflex. It was just so overwhelming, the idea that he could have gotten comfortable and soft. It was disgusting. The more he thought about it, the more he knew he was going to have a bad time. Standing abruptly, he shoved his chair aside. "I'm gonna -- gonna go."
Rushing away from the table and towards his room, Jax barely noticed Gangle nervously trailing after him. She was saying something, but his ears were filled with the sound of rushing waves and his only focus was on getting away. He slammed open the door and ran inside, barely making it to the bathroom before he fell to his knees and gagged. Nothing came up, but he felt his stomach gurgle intensely.
"Should I get someone...?" Gangle peeped. She was standing in the bedroom, trembling with indecision. "Are you sick?"
"No -- fuck, leave me... ulp..." Jax continued to dry heave, somehow keeping everything down despite how much he'd eaten. He closed his eyes tightly, swallowing back saliva, and tried to calm his stomach. After a moment, he felt a slight warmth on his back -- Gangle was rubbing it lightly. He didn't have the energy to tell her to go again.
Eventually, the nausea faded and Jax was left with only slight queasiness and periodic hiccups. He sat back, putting a hand on his slightly pudged-out tummy as he slowly relaxed. He still hated the idea of being vulnerable in any way, but now he was a little too exhausted to mind.
"Why are you still here." His voice was hoarse. He hated how human it sounded, how human all of this was. He liked the circus because of how inhuman it made him feel, like nothing that would've held him back in the real world mattered at all. Here he was, being affected by so many things he shouldn't be. Maybe a part of him wanted it, wanted to be human and express that vulnerability, but he thought he'd killed that part long ago.
"I didn't want you to have to be alone," Gangle responded in her usual trembly voice. She was sitting down next to him, having gotten down on the floor and risked being thrown up on just to rub his back. It was confusing enough that Jax's gorge rose again, but he managed to stifle the resulting gag before it overwhelmed him. Gangle was looking around nervously. "I-I knew it would make you mad, but I just... when I was younger, I'd get sick a lot, and it always hurt the most when I had to be by myself. Cleaning up and stuff when you're already feeling bad is the worst. You haven't exactly done anything to deserve it, but I still couldn't let that happen."
"Wow, high praise." Jax's voice was still a disgusting, feeble croak. He coughed. "Well, I'm not gonna spew everywhere, if you were hoping for a show."
"That... wouldn't be a very nice show." Gangle looked him up and down appraisingly. "You still look like you aren't feeling well. Is there anything I can do? I could get some water."
"Nah, I just need to --" For some reason, Jax hesitated to say that he needed to sleep it off. He knew that he had no leg to stand on here when it came to pretending that nothing was wrong, but it still felt like an uncomfortable admission of vulnerability. To 'need' anything in here was a lie, and it revealed that something deeper was going on than the natural colds and flus that affected humans. Unconsciously, his face twisted into a grimace, and Gangle stiffened and scooted forward.
"A-are you gonna abstract?" she squeaked, her comedy mask unceremoniously slipping to the floor and cracking in half. Jax hadn't even needed to break it himself.
"Huh? Why do you care?"
"I know I shouldn't, but... I really don't want to see anybody abstract, even you. Like I really, really wouldn't. I'd let you keep being mean to me forever if it meant you didn't end up like that." Gangle's expression was so earnest, it brought another wave of nausea. This time, though, Jax allowed it to run through him. Surprisingly, it didn't trigger his gag reflex. Instead, it swirled and contracted in his chest, forming a concentrated little ball of genuine feeling. It hurt, but felt manageable. His face flooded with heat.
"Wh--whuh... what kind of response is that?" He blushed, muffling a hiccup in his gloved palm. "Jeez, if I didn't know any better, I'd be scared you were confessing your love. Don't get your ribbons in a twist, I'm not going anywhere."
Gangle's mouth twisted into a pout. "I'm being honest, you know..."
"Yeah, yeah..." Jax closed his eyes. His face was still burning, no doubt having gone from purple to magenta by this point. "Since you clearly want me so bad, you wouldn't mind--" Being sarcastic was easier when he wasn't dizzy with embarrassment. "You wouldn't mind helping me up, huh?"
"O-oh, sure." Gangle seemed unperturbed at his continued allegations about her feelings, instead leaning forward to wrap her ribbons around him to lift him to his feet. He huffed, feeling his stomach protest, but she hastily adjusted the position of the ribbons to support his tummy and it calmed. She guided him over to the bed, where he slumped down. On impact, he gave another loud, high-pitched hiccup and buried his face in the pillow. God, this was humiliating.
"Don't say anything," he warned.
"I won't! I think it's--" Gangle paused. "I think it's kind of cute!"
"Huh?!" That absolutely did not help. Jax raised his head, glaring as he felt his face practically emit steam. He couldn't even come up with a snarky response, he just stared at her for a moment before covering his face with the pillow again. "S-shut it."
"Do you feel bad because you ate a lot?" Gangle asked, coming over to the side of the bed. She sat down, and Jax could feel her gaze on him. "I can try to help. I heard that, um, having your stomach rubbed can make you feel better..."
"Mph. Nice attempt to feel me up," Jax muttered, muffled by the pillow. His stomach was feeling full and uncomfortable, though, and despite his best efforts to resist, he finally gave in. "Fine. Just do it."
"Okay." Gangle reached out, twining her ribbons around him again. It almost felt like a hug, but she focused on gently squeezing and massaging his abdomen. It was soft and careful. Before Jax knew it, he was relaxing into the bed. The comforting strokes calmed the gurgling in his tummy, and he couldn't help himself. He sighed, loosening his grip on the pillow.
Gangle continued with the rubs, seemingly able to target each of the areas of tightness as soon as they became apparent. Jax wanted to tease her more, to claim that she was getting off on this or continue to say that she was using it as an excuse to touch him, but his brain was too sleepy and pleased to let the words form. When he finally opened his mouth, adjusting his position, he ended up yawning widely instead. Any attempt to stiffen and close himself off turned into nestling against the mattress and closing his eyes. His ears twitched happily, and he gradually felt himself drifting off. The nausea that had flooded his body when he was vulnerable earlier was finally gone.