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Forever yours, Never mine

Summary:

-SPOILERS FOR WITCH HAT ATELIER CHAPTERS 88, 92, 93-

Qifrey loved you, so very much. To the best of his ability, despite the curse which restrains him so, he tried to mold himself a life- one with you involved. Happy. Together. In love.
Such a shame that things don't always go the way you plan them to.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

If curses and tragedy were not a thing, maybe then things would have turned out differently. If Qifrey had never met you at all, his calamity wouldn’t have had a chance to reach its claws around you at all. Falling for you was inevitable, he knew, no matter what. You were perfect, as if a piece of sky had ascended to the ground and planted itself inside your soul. There wasn’t a thing Qifrey didn’t love about you.

But this love was precisely what caused this. If only you hadn’t met. If only you didn’t love him back, not that he understood why you even did in the first place. Compared to you he was horrid, appalling, a mess really. Like a string instrument poorly out of tune.

The point is, everything was his fault. It’s his fault you got hurt, his fault he hurt himself. What was he thinking? Why did he ever try to get close to you, knowing fully well it would only get you mixed up in his curse? Love really was a dreadful thing to have. It led him to believe such silly things. Losing sight of the truth, Qifrey believed- no, wanted to believe that perhaps if you never gained the knowledge of his curse, then his roots wouldn't grow. How selfish of him. Had he been a normal witch, you wouldn’t be out cold on the floor right now with part of your memory missing. If Qifrey was normal, then no amount of kisses could ever drive them apart. In his current state, he unfortunately discovered only now and through tribulation that a single one of them was enough to break his walls down completely.

Wrong as it felt, Qifrey told you how to undo it. It made his heart ache, watching you sob over his condition. He should have comforted you, said that he was okay. To leave him, live a better life. Without him. Instead, he selfishly told you the two ways to undo it. Though, perhaps him telling you didn’t make much of a difference. You’d have found a way anyway, even if it meant walking to the edge of the earth. Qifrey already knew which option you’d choose. It was quite obvious. Your heart was practically made from freshly plucked marigolds grown in an angel's garden. How could someone like you continue to waste such kindness on someone like him so continuously?

Regardless, he now stood over your motionless body while his guilt began to eat away at him relentlessly. You slept so soundly, he longed to lean down and plant another kiss on your serene face. If only. He didn’t dare touch you now. Not anymore. The wind blew through the pages of his palm quire as he pulled it out, immediately flipping to a blank page. Pulling his coat over you as he worked, Qifrey drew a seal with the utmost precision of a seasoned witch, ignoring the pang in his chest and fighting through the tremble that spread through his hand and body.

Upon closing the circle, Qifrey hesitated. Was this really the right choice? Yes. It had to be. He couldn't bear the thought of forgetting you, ever. You were the embodiment of his being, his reason for life. But you were already unconscious. You wouldn’t notice. You’d never find out at all. It wouldn’t be painful in the slightest. Besides, as long as he remained in your memory the only thing that would ever come of it would be pain. His mere existence in others' lives causes catastrophe. He’d be perfectly content watching you from afar, if it meant you wouldn’t be hurt as a result of him.

Through final murmurs of goodbye and ‘I love you’s, Qifrey carefully slid the seal over your forehead.

‘This isn’t fair to her,’ a voice screamed in his head as his existence ceased in your memory. ‘She should have a say in this.’ Qifrey quickly shut them down as he gently lifted you into his arms. He had to get you someplace safe before you awoke.

This truly was for the best.

Notes:

hihihi this is my first fanfic so i hope you enjoyedddd :D I really really love Qifrey so Ive always wondered what a relationship or life with him would be like and because how small the fandom is there arent very many qifrey xreader fanfics :/ so I took it upon myself to write one :D. Despite the fantasies of a happy, carefree life that I had, realistically it wouldn't really work out at all...hahaha...i mean if he cant even be with his best friend of 10+ years then why would it :P its okay a little angst is good for the soul :) sometimes
IM SO EXCITED FOR THE ANIME TO RELEASE ARGHHHH