Work Text:
I do not often say I hate things, but when I say I hate having parties thrown for me, I mean it. The music is loud, I have no clue where I’m supposed to stand or go or what I’m supposed to do with my hands. I understand I’m supposed to have a grand entrance at the front of the line, I let the gelflings put victory wreathes over my head and take any flowers the childlings try to give me, that is simple, but once I kneel before the Emperor and announce what I had done, I never know what to do.
Where do I go next? When do I rise? Do I wait until he tells me to? Or am I high enough in rank to decide for myself?
And then there is loud music and dancing and feasting, and I always feel a bit lost and directionless. I get pulled around the room, everyone is trying to talk to me, and SkekAyuk keeps asking if I liked the food.
I only really enjoy my return when it settles down and I can slink off to my room with a plate of food and lock the door behind me.
Then, then I feel truly victorious. The music still echoes through the halls and reaches my room, and somehow the food tastes better when I am not surrounded by others or being asked if I like it.
And when I am done eating, I lie down on my bed, and find myself drifting off to sleep.
And I dreamed of stars and fire, dark skies filled with more stars than ever before, or perhaps filled with embers. I dream of campfires and of funeral pyres, I dream of candles and burning wicks, and I dream of myself trapped in a burning hall.
But then I dream again of stars, I dream not of my body being on fire but being made of it. I dream of blazing light and glowing claws, I dream of not having a mouth and yet screaming, howling, wailing like a sun— and I can hear them. I can hear them screaming high above, the three brothers singing a ghastly song like a city on fire.
And then I wake up, still in my armor, and I’m cold.
The sunlight streams in through the open window, and I hear the usual bustle of castle life in the halls, and I am glad I slept in and missed breakfast— because that means I can eat by myself.