Work Text:
To my dearest W. Ludwig:
Today, dawn called to me as if your soul wished to speak to me one last time. It is a shame the plague still lingers, preventing me from coming out to greet you. I am certain that if you were still here by my side, you would have found a cure for all this, and our future would still shine brightly—I say "our" because mine has already been extinguished, and there is no spark to rekindle it, no candle to burn it back down. Without you, I'm more miserable than any outcast, and I was one myself... Sometimes I wonder what you saw in me to make us end up where we are.
Katherine still plays with the dresses you bought her at that guild in the square. She has grown quite a bit since you left, and her head now reaches my waist. The only thing that hasn't changed is that she misses the kisses on her forehead when she woke up, the arms that lifted her from the ground and wrapped her in a warm hug: the figure of her other father. Now, of course, I am giving them to her with all my love, though it is not the same if they are not yours. She knows they are not. I have tried to convince her that you will be back through the door soon, and that you are just helping sick patients. I'm aware I shouldn't get melancholic when this is supposed to be a letter, but you are making it so difficult for me, darling.
And I am here, still surviving. I miss your sweet whispers in my ear every midnight I spent awake, your caresses on my hands when my nerves got the better of me, and the tender kisses you stole from me whenever you could. Oh, how I wish I could give them back... I have kept your glasses, because I could not bring myself to take them apart next to your body, and I still have your ring adorning my finger; your talent with jewelry is incredible. Do you think that in another life we can truly get married, and not just be cowards hiding behind a facade of reality? Because I do. If you allow me, I will propose to you in the next one. For now, please wait a little longer until I can see you again.
I adore you dearly, Ludwig.
With love,
your Matthias.