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It is the night of March 21. Almost 7 PM. Finn Wolfhard was cuddling with his extremely cuddly boyfriend Noah Schnapp, watching some random reality show that was on. All of a sudden, 7 PM hit, and the emergency alert system turned on. Noah sat up and said "What the fuck?! We were about to find out who Sarah was cheating with!" Finn groaned, also sitting up. his hair was a mess from Noahs hand being in his hair that whole day as he quietly said "Let's just see what this is about.. it could just be nothing.."
A robotic voice with captions on the TV said "This is not a test. This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of the Annual Purge sanctioned by the U.S Government." Finn and Noahs eyes both widened. The Purge? They were quiet and in shock as the alert played and explained the rules. When the alert ended, their flabbers had been ghasted.
They did remember the time Trump joked about a 'really violent night'. They had no clue that annoying rotten orange actually did it.
Noah naturally was freaked out, and began to hyperventilate. He knew he had haters, and if he was found by one of them.. who knew what would happen. He felt a strong hand touch his shoulder and a voice which shook him out of his spiral. "Hey. Nothing's gonna happen to us, okay? Not if I'm here." Finn's firm voice said. Noahs soft green eyes widened. He saw Finns face was serious. Noah blushed a bit.
Finn then had a lightbulb moment and said "Hey babe. I have an idea." Noah saw the smirk on Finns face and knew this was either gonna be the dumbest or the best idea ever.
The look in Noahs eyes made Finn keep going. "So.. if it's the purge.. what if we just kill the Duffer Brothers? The ones who caused our suffering?" Consideration appeared in Noahs eyes. The Duffer brothers HAD acted like spawns of satan to Finn and Noah, especially back in 2024 when they first got together. They ended up writing the damn tower scene that way because they hated Finn and Noahs relationship and prayed for them to break up.
Noah then said "That.. isn't such a bad idea.. I mean, I hate them for EVERYTHING they did... you know what, let's just do it." A spark of excitement and determination appeared on Noahs eyes.
-
So Noah and Finn put on dark coloured clothing and left their place. They had to be careful since it WAS the Purge after all. They raided a gun store where the owner was sleeping, and stole multiple guns and bullets. After all, it WAS technically legal now.
On the way to the Duffer Brothers house, they stopped by Jojo Siwas mansion to kill her too because who the fuck even likes Jojo Siwa anymore?!
After their kill, they approached the Duffers house.
It was a mansion like the other houses in the neighbourhood. However, the garden was messy and unkept and there was vandalism on the fences by angry Stranger Things fans. Finn and Noah saw one of the windows had a light on. The bedroom.
Finn and Noah used a ladder to climb up onto the roof and go to the window next to their bedroom, the bathroom window.
Finn went first, climbing through the bathroom window. He ended up stepping into the toilet bowl, and nearly screamed from it. Noah thought that he shouldn't be afraid since he HAS drunk his own piss before (and Noahs).
Finn and Noah quietly squealed. They were in. Now, they just had to slime off the Duffers.
-
The Duffer Brothers were in their SHARED bed, NAKED, watching Dance Moms because they liked to watch people abuse children AND they gooned to the children too. Ross Duffer sighed in relaxation and said "Ahh.. this is the life.. cracking you and now watching this show... way better than my ex wife's pussy!" The brothers both laughed evily, cackling like vampires.
The Duffer Brothers had always had some creepy connection. Even though they both dated women, they had some creepy conenction with each other because the man who fucked the Duffers mom loved incest fiction, thus making the Duffers do incest with each other too.
All of a sudden, they heard the muffled sound of... CPR by Cupcakke? Why was THAT playing? It was WAY too woke for their country music loving asses. Besides, where the hell was the music coming from?! I guess it could be left up to interpretation..
Right after they heard the music, their bedroom door was SMASHED open by Finn and Noah. The duffers tried to escape, but it was too late. Finn and Noah, while serving face, shot both Duffers in their chests, ending their lives. Instead of normal blood bleeding out of them, some weird black goop bled out of them?? It turned out after all, the Duffer Brothers were DEVILS who had snuck onto planet earth!
Noah was disturbed by the goop, mostly because he didn't wanna ruin his expensive outfit. Finn was unfazed. He'd seen worse. Finn then turned to Noah and said "Soo.. we did it."
Noah turned and looked at Finn, and a grin appeared on his face as he cheered. "We did it!" The boys then took their time to dispose of their bodies in the trash
And then to celebrate their deaths, they fucked right on The Duffer Brothers bed.