Chapter Text
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Koa groans softly, taking in a deep inhale as he turns on his side. He grabs his phone, shutting off his alarm and tosses it aside. It’s 8 AM on a Saturday, and he doesn’t feel too keen on getting up right now—especially not with this angelic woman snuggled in his arms, blush colored hair spilt over her form. Koa gently moves Elfaia’s locks aside to reveal her pretty face, his dry eyes drinking in the sight of her. The way her breath feels against his bare chest—so soft and soothing—causes a faint smile to grace his lips, and he can’t help but take a moment to simply watch her sleep and listen to her snores.
Suddenly, she shifts, and Koa freezes in place like a child caught misbehaving. He sometimes forgets that the gold ring on his finger grants him the right to do this.
Elfaia yawns and sighs, stretching like a kitten after a fat nap. She opens her eyes, blinking a few times until her gaze greets Koa’s. Moments like this make him question if she’s actually real.
Maybe she isn’t.
Maybe he truly is dead, and she’s his imagination.
But then, he feels the metal device in his heart spark, and that slight jolt of pain reminds him he’s still alive.
“Good morning,” Elfaia yawns, her voice a little rough from sleep but somehow so honeyed. Koa wonders what else he could make her say in that voice. Maybe that he’s pretty. Maybe other things, but he won’t think about them too hard. Elfaia just chuckles, knowing good and well what came to his mind.
“Morning,” Koa responds, moving to hold his wife’s cheek. He feels her shudder slightly at his cold palms, and his expression softens with guilt. “Sorry ‘bout that,” he whispers, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead in apology. He hasn't felt warm since Mark brought him back to life. “Did you sleep okay?”
He was scared he’d ruin this fragile moment.
He should’ve known better when Elfaia snickered at his paranoia.
“I slept fine,” she assures him, taking his cold fingers in her hands to warm them up. She takes in Koa’s expression, noticing how exhausted he seems to be growing as time goes on. She looks away from his fine lines and dark circles, deciding that conversation can wait until another time. For now, she’s just glad he’s still in bed. “How about you?”
“I slept great,” Koa replies, nuzzling her cheek. “No nightmares.” He opens his eyes, his gaze locked onto hers. “Usually, I can’t sleep at night.”
“Nightmares? Why?” Elfaia asked, her curiosity piquing. Koa isn’t the type of man to casually open up, and moments like these are rare. She notices the way he hesitates, and she realises the conversation might be heavier than he’s comfortable dealing with. She hesitates before giving him an escape: “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
Koa quiets, looking down at her for a moment before he sighs. He turns to lie on his back with outstretched arms, Elfaia’s head on his bicep. “It’ll kill the mood.”
Elfaia huffs, sitting up and scooting closer to his body. “I’d rather you ‘kill the mood’ than keep dealing with whatever’s going on alone, love. I won’t force you, but you know that you’re safe to come to me if you need it.”
Koa hums in response, staring up at the ceiling. “I know. It’s just… I still remember that day,” he reluctantly reveals, voice low and barely considered ‘vulnerable’. “I was slumped against a dumpster in the alleyway behind Mark’s shop, rain pouring down on me. Right before my eyes closed, I saw his face.” He pauses, jaw working as he debates describing Mark’s expression.
He decides against it.
“…I see it every night, and it’s like I feel these.. ‘phantom pains’ from it or something. Every time I close my eyes, 'm scared I’m gonna feel like I’m slipping away again—like when I died. I can’t sleep ‘cause of it.”
Elfaia exhales quietly, moving to hold his face between her hands. It hurts to know he’s suffering, and the fact that it took so much for him to talk about it makes it harder to bear. “I’m so sorry, my love. That’s… a lot.” She brushes a piece of his fried hair behind his ear, then her hand returns to his cheek. “You gotta keep reminding yourself you’re safe, and you’re okay.” She taps his chest, right above his heart. “You feel that spark in there? You’re alive, honey. You’re breathing, you’re existing, and you’re right here with me. You’re safe now. And Mark doesn’t hold anything against you for that night. If anything, he’s just happy his kid is back.”
Koa scoffs, annoyed at his own paranoia rather than her words. “He’s not even my dad, Lia. He shouldn’t have to take care of me like he is.”
Elfaia gently pinches his cheek to shut him up. “None of that. Mark himself said he wanted this. He said you’re the child he never got to raise.”
Koa turns his head to look at her, a weary look in his eyes and a hint of a scowl on his lips. He very well knows Mark never says anything unintentionally, yet it’s still so hard to believe his words are true. Koa rubs his face. “I just need to get over myself.”
“You need to get help,” Elfaia corrects, giving him a mildly annoyed stare. Koa sits up, stretching his back and shoulders while Elfaia watches. The tattoos on his arms and back shift as he moves.
Koa sighs, turning back to his wife. “I should probably head out.”
Elfaia shakes her head, expression starting to crumble. “No, no, no, don’t, please. Stay. You rarely come by anymore.”
Koa sighs quietly, getting out of bed and massaging one of his shoulders. “I’ll try to come over more. I just…I don’t want anyone back home finding out about you. I don’t know what I’d do if the gang came to hunt you down.” He watches Elfaia as she looks away from him, and he knows she’s hurt. He pauses, unsure of what to do. “... I’ll go make breakfast.”
Elfaia glances back at him, watching as he leaves her room and walks to the kitchen. A part of her wonders if he’d ever come back.