Chapter Text
To: MI5
CC:
From: [email protected]
Subject: Reminder of supervision
Dear all,
It has come to my attention that there have been multiple instances of memos flagged by IT in the past week for inappropriate language. I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that all memos sent both from our system and on company wi-fi are available for inspection by staff at all times. I request that foul and/or explicit vocabulary is not employed, especially during weekends and holidays, as it requires our IT department to log on and dismiss the alarms.
Kind regards,
J. Bevan
____________________________________________________________________________
To: [email protected]
CC:
From: no1genius:)@MI5.gov.net
Subject: RE: Reminder of supervision
Johnny dearest
Is this rlly necessary? The world’s not gonna end if I say fuck.
Montagu
____________________________________________________________________________
To: no1genius:)@MI5.gov.net
CC:
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: RE: Reminder of supervision
Montagu
Whilst the referred memo was not in fact specifically referring to you, I am unsurprised you flew to the assumption. Please don’t do what I think you’re going to do; there will be consequences.
Regards
J. Bevan
__________________________________________________________________________
DRAFT
To: no1genius:)@MI5.gov.net
CC: [email protected]
From: no1genius:)@MI5.gov.net
Subject: suck it johnny
penis ass fuck shit what’re you gonna do about it
Schedule send: 01:00 25/12/2026
____________________________________________________________________________
To: no1genius:)@MI5.gov.net
CC:
From: [email protected]
Subject: I don’t do empty threats.
Montagu.
I control IT. I’m blocking Cool Math Games. Enjoy losing all your Big Flappy Tower progress.
Regards,
J. Bevan
____________________________________________________________________________
To: [email protected]
CC:
From: no1genius:)@MI5.gov.net
Subject: Yes you do.
NOOOOOOOOO PINEAPPLE YOU MONSTER FUCK YOU!
____________________________________________________________________________
To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]
CC: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Ultimatum
You three.
This is your final warning. Stop using the system in an inappropriate manner, or I will have you fired. I do not care who your father is. I do not want your money. You have scarred twelve separate interns; you have your own member of IT to deal with the issues you cause. Please refer to the employee code of conduct attached.
Kind regards,
J. Bevan
MI5conduct.pdf.final.final.sirIpromisethisisthefinalone
____________________________________________________________________________