Work Text:
"Do I have to die like him for you to believe me?
For you to care about what I'm saying?
Is that what it's gonna take for you to listen?"
~~~
I’m sorry I shouldn’t have raised my voice
you’re right im not being fair
please just try and see from my perspective
I can come with you but I can’t sit aside while you end yourself over nothing
im sorry
please respond parrot im sorry
~~~
Whispers left unanswered, Wifies now waited alone by the riverside. If you asked him what for, he would respond with forgiveness, even if he wasn’t sorry for what he said.
Parrot had left him with the spyglass and the ashes of the compass Wifies had burnt, and was shrinking into a dot upon the distant horizon, before vanishing behind the hill before him.
And now truly alone, Wifies felt sick, sick with loneliness and the regret of words spoken that he could not take back. He meant most, if not all of it, but he should’ve held his tongue, because now Parrot had left him behind and Wifies could no longer protect him by his side.
He was angry, angry towards Parrot’s little care for his own life, that anger stemmed from the fear that flowered in his chest every time he ran into some battle with Parrot, because while Wifies didn’t care for his own life or body made of wires and code, he would desperately give his life for Parrot. And seeing him injured pulled at his mechanical heart.
He would endure everything ten times over if it meant the Parrot wouldn’t have to face danger for the rest of his life.
He would endure realizing how he wasn’t a real player at all, the meeting of his creator, the rush of winning the trivia battle, fearing his banning in the final room of the scavenger hunt, and enduring the nothingness of the void with the absence of stimuli other than the rainbow accents of Spoke’s clothing. He’d survive the guilt of the fact that he was but a liability to Parrot when it came to players like ClownPierce.
But now Parrot was alone in the rest of his travels to the Farlands civilization, and Wifies knew he could do nothing about it. Sure, he could continue to follow Parrot to the literal ends of the server, but Wifies knew he would only receive cold remarks and ruffled feathers from Parrot, and right now, what he needed was space.
So that left Wifies alone for the first time in a long time since joining Unstable, since at least when he was chunk banned and floating on lines of code somewhere between life and death, he had the company of Spoke (who had still refused to tell Wifies what the hell the big great secret was), and when Parrot was fighting Clownpierce, Wifies had the company of his dog and the comfort of his home (although that didn’t stand for much longer).
Although still lonely and dwelling in his failures then, now he was by himself, nine million blocks out from spawn, from anything that suggested the presence of players, that suggested he was not the only one present in an empty world.
Even as Wifies stood there for a long time, hours long enough that the sky went from the bright, clear blue of noon to the deep oranges and purplish grays of dusk, and still his rage and fear boiled as the gears in his head slowly clicked into place.
If Parrot refused to keep himself safe, if he insisted to continue to risk his life again and again for problems and wars that were not his, Wifies could, would, keep Parrot safe instead, whether he liked it or not.
This had been boiling since they were in the end, building the "safest" civilization.
It was then when he finally moved his feet from the spot to find a place to stay the night safely away from mobs, to take the opportunity of tranquil silence, of the absence of the creeping feeling of looking over your shoulder every minute, after all the mafia wouldn’t find Wifies all the way out here, as if they were after him in the first place.
He was only in danger because he remained by Parrot’s side, and was a valuable bargaining piece that could be used against him.
Wifies could wait a day or two until he joined Parrot in the Farlands, who still needed space after their argument anyway.
Even after he’d been dwelling for hours, he’d still say he’d meant every word he’d said to Parrot. The only parts he regretted were actually saying some parts and raising his voice at him, driving Parrot away to the Farlands alone, and not answering his messages of apologies.
He was gathering materials for the night, materials, not food. The only reason he kept food on his person was for Parrot in case he ever ran out or asked, as his mechanical insides didn’t include a stomach or digestive system for energy to be extracted from any food he consumed. Miraculously, golden apples still assisted in healing his broken parts that seeped oil and sparked with electricity during the heat of battle, and for that, Wifies was grateful.
It’s because his body is made of metal and wires under tightly stretched synthetic skin that he was surprised when he coughed, a crumpled red petal escaped his throat.
~~~
Over the next couple of months, Wifies planned, gathered, and contacted some of the most dangerous players he knew of. He had plans set in place to fake his death, to kill who he was to Parrot. He gathered power, resources, and blackmail, and contacted some of the best at the job.
If he were to truly understand Parrot and keep him properly safe, Wifies needed to know exactly how he would respond under different types of pressure and danger, how he would act in the case where friends that were close to him faced danger greater than he did, and in some cases, died.
And over these months, Wifies continued to expel petals from his body. They ranged from shades of red, orange, yellow, and pink, and were often stained from the same oil that covered his gears and metal joints.
At this point, he had done enough research and found he was infected with Hanahaki disease, technically a curse that acted as a fatal disease, where flowers would grow in the lungs of the victim, causing them to vomit the flowers along with blood in increasing severity until they suffocated to death. It fed off the suffering and heartaches of others.
What Wifies couldn’t figure out was how it affected him, without lungs to infect. Why was he infected with a disease of unrequited love when he knew his best friend loved him with the same devotion he did?
Is it because you never listened to me when I cried for you to wait, to stop and think before you put your life on the line?
The emotional turmoil was greater than any hurt when he coughed up the increasing amounts of petals, but the frequency of the episodes and the oil he was losing from said episodes was growing more and more infuriating to deal with and hide from Parrot.
The latter problem disappeared when he faked his death.
~~~
Parrot wasn’t stupid; he knew something had been going on with Wifies when he finally returned to his side in the Farlands, something which ate away at Wifies up until Ashwag killed him.
But Parrot felt blind and helpless, unable to see or save Wifies from his problems that were hidden away. It killed Parrot not to know what he could’ve done; he knew no matter how deep and hard he prodded, Wifies would take his death to the grave, alone.
Something had withered him from the inside out. Parrot saw the light slowly leaving Wifies’ eyes over months, as if he had already chosen and accepted the grasp of death.
Wifies’ death had left Parrot with guilt and reaching for what he had missed, what he had done so wrong that Wifies wouldn’t tell him what was wrong, what was stealing his best friend away, leaving Parrot alone to escape the attempts on his life from the Director.
~~~
“Wifies is still alive, that's what you’re trying to tell me?
What did you do to Wifies?”
…
“Parrot, I am Wifies.”
That sentence chilled Parrot deeper than the raging blizzard encompassing them, and although Wifies was alive, his eyes whispered of death that couldn’t be reversed.
~~~
If you asked Wifies how Parrot had reacted, what he had said, when he revealed he was the Director, Wifies would tell you that it didn’t matter, as the Director, emotions and morals no longer mattered to him. What mattered was that he could now focus on keeping Parrot safe again by his side within the walls of Paragon.
What Wifies wouldn’t tell you is that the part of himself that he killed to become the Director broke from the betrayal, disgust, and fear on Parrot’s face. The same part of him that yearned to go back all over again- to tell Parrot about the roses growing under his skin, to talk to Parrot as his best friend and sidekick- that this was all a mistake and all he had to do was apologize.
The worst part was how through all Wifies had done and was still doing, that part of him continued to scream, weep, and claw at his heart to return to the vulnerable bird whom he honestly loved more than anything else. The same way he adored Kenadian and Wato for freeing him and helping him see what he could be past the shadow of his maker.
Wifies loved Parrot the same way as the flowers deep within him grew off of his structure. He loved him as the closest friend he knew and the third person to show him what he could be. He loved him more than he loved himself, and he knew he would give up every part of himself in service to the safety of this precious bird, with feathers that shared the color and value to Wifies of that of diamonds, emeralds, and gold.
He loved him so much because it honored him to be allowed to bandage his wounds, but it hurt just as much to see him wounded and in danger in the first place.
But those same thoughts were suffocated by the Director, because endless thoughts like that were weak and a waste of time that could be spent on the end goal he had.
That night, he coughed up black petals (whether naturally colored or just covered in oil, he didn’t know), bordering on full rose heads, thorns and all, more than he ever had since the first of the petals emerged.
He sat watching the petals wilt in the puddle of oil that had come out of him with them, as if staring at the curse growing his machinery hard enough, as if just thinking it away would rid him of this problem.
It didn’t go away. Soon enough, he was coughing up full flowers, and vines were creeping under his skin, threatening to rip it open and expose themselves for the server, for Parrot, to see in all their prickly and deadly beauty.
Roses and vines continued to grow and invade his body, limbs moving seconds too slowly, gears creaking against growing and wilting leaves, thorns scratching at his voice box.
There wasn’t anything Wifies could do about the growing at this point; maybe he could have torn himself apart earlier on to rip out the flowers from the roots entangled within him. Maybe he could have purged them with acid and chemicals that would’ve damaged his insides just as badly as they would the endless disease of roses. Anything that could’ve stopped the parasitic thorns that fed off coolant, fuel, and electricity.
~~~
Parrot had a long list of wishes. Most of those wishes were the desire to reverse events and choices that had led him to this point; other wishes were to simply relive his old memories. Memories of Wifies and him on grand adventures of the past, even if every time they ventured to the far ends of the server, it was perilous.
One of his favorite memories was during the scavenger hunt from ClownPierce.
It was after they had distracted Kier and Dev on the cloud island to “assist” the town (whatever that meant; the town was empty and all there for show from what Parrot could tell), and they had activated the lanterns that shot up into the sky.
If he could go back, Parrot would’ve sat there with Wifies, truly appreciating the beauty of the lanterns as they floated higher than the clouds. To sit there and for as long as they wanted- to forget how dangerous Unstable was and to forget all the people who could be and were after their lives.
He wished he were like the lanterns, to light up the world as a beacon of hope; he wished he could’ve been Wifies’ lantern, to light and guide him, to comfort him the same way he comforted Parrot.
I thought I knew you better.
Why didn’t I stop for once to just-
Why couldn’t I try to better know and understand you the way you knew my every thought, word, and worry?
What could’ve scared you so bad-
What stopped me from seeing what you couldn’t- what you refused to say to me?
What happened to you?
How come I couldn't see what was wrong?
Was it me?
Why did you never tell me?
You could’ve told me.
But you didn’t-
Why didn’t you trust me, as I trusted you with my life and more?
And alone in the house he built among the cherry blossoms next to Wifies, Parrot silently grieved what he knew was lost and what he never had.
If you asked him, he wouldn’t admit how close he came to crying.
How close he came to crying from the grief of losing the person who helped preen his wings, who was always there when he needed help, his backup, his go-to, who knew him better than anyone else since-
He grieved Wifies, his best friend, who had been killed by the fear that manifested as the Director.
He still believed that his Wifies was somewhere inside the Director; maybe if he prodded hard enough at the metal barrier now between the two, he could catch even just a glimpse of Wifies behind invisibility particles and flow-trimmed armor. That spark of hope could keep Parrot alive in this gilded cage forever.
Parrot cried anyway for loss and regrets and memories he grieved for alone that night.
~~~
Black was a color that Wifies had to learn to tolerate.
None of the roses were deep red, brilliant oranges, or soft pinks and yellows anymore; any petals or buds that emerged were as black as the obsidian he trapped Parrot and himself within and slick with grease or oil.
Some days, he couldn’t bear to look in the mirror, the wear from the beautiful curse taking over his body, making him seem the pale and weary complexion of his creator.
His eyes, once a balance of white and black representing the yin-yang symbol he was branded with, contained in the irises, now almost completely swallowed in black.
The only thing not swallowed in black was the red refraction at certain angles of the cameras that made up his eyes.
They resembled his creator’s inky eyes dotted with their own red all too well.
Regret began to take root next to the vines pressing against his heart.
It was much too little regret, and far too late to save him.
~~~
“All that matters now, Parrot, is that you keep yourself alive, okay?
You have a pretty big tendency of- putting yourself in the stupidest situations.
Without any regard- it’s maybe a bit inspiring- please just keep yourself safe-”
“Wifies?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve never really like- gotten the opportunity to say this, but-
Thank you for being my friend.”
...
“Anytime, dude.”
That had been the only time Wifies smiled that way at Parrot- not the smirk after completing a puzzle, the relief of barely escaping with their lives, or the laughter that came after some stupid joke between the two, but a soft smile that could’ve spoken countless words and worries Wifies didn’t say in that moment.
Maybe there was a universe where Parrot would know what that smile meant behind his balanced and calculated eyes.
That day never came; that time on the mountaintop was the very last time Parrot ever saw Wifies.
~~~
There was obviously something wrong with Wifies now, more than ever, and it wasn’t just the recent madness that had rotted him away. His movements had gone from quick and smooth to these cold, robotic motions, weakening muscles locked tight as if everything he did was just a means to an end.
His once smooth skin that never seemed to tan, burn, or scar, was worn with scratches and bumps under his skin that looked as if they may burst out at any given. Every time Parrot saw Wifies, he looked a little worse for wear, a little more keen on keeping his body covered.
Many times, he needed to ask for help in simple tasks where he didn’t seem to have the strength from Jumper, Leo, or Derapchu, frustration coating his recently hoarse voice. Parrot would’ve offered to help Wifies, he did, but was always pushed away.
“I don’t need help, Parrot. I’m fine.”
One of the things Wifies did still have strength for was the preening of his wings. Parrot was partially disgusted with himself for letting the Director handle such a delicate and vulnerable part of him. But careful and experienced hands let that disgust, let the Director melt into the back of his mind, where he could pretend Paragon was all a nightmare, and he was resting with his best friend Wifies, as they tended to each other’s wounds and worries.
Part of him feared that the Director would’ve clipped or damaged his wings far beyond repair, all to keep him confined in the obsidian prison, but instead he cared for them like Wifies once did, tender fingers combing feathers into place and brushing out loose ones along with the debris Parrot often found himself collecting within the green, blue, and gold.
Wifies was preening his wings now, actually, once an activity filled with quiet chatter and relieved issues, now fell silent and tense under the situation the Director had put the two in. Wifies hands used to be warm, soft, and comforting. They were still somewhat comforting, but they felt cold and rigid.
Parrot had been building up the guts the whole time to ask Wifies what was wrong, if he could finally help, ease whatever suffering he was going through, and they could go back to the way things had been.
“Wifies, are you sick?”
He didn’t answer, and the silence following seemed to expand the gap between them as they both paused.
“Are you dying?”
Wifies left that unanswered as well.
Why didn’t you tell me?
~~~
"Parrot,
There was a moment that changed everything.
We were being attacked in the end, you were heavily outnumbered.
And you separated us to serve as a distraction.
The moment you did that, I knew you were in trouble.
I tried to contact you to help you, but you couldn't respond to me.
I was helpless.
I had to wait there, not knowing if I would ever see you again.
And from that point onward, this happened over and over again, you sacrificing yourself for a cause that exists only in your head.
And I was unable to protect you.
And I couldn't live with that."
~~~
You make me feel sick with regret, you know?
I’m sure if I had a stomach to empty, I would’ve puked.
And you would’ve treated me with gentle worry, prodding me with questions I'm not ready to answer.
I’ll never be ready to accept your worry, love, and care for me.
I don’t have much time left, do I?
It’s not like I can die when I’m not a player; I’ll just shut off as this stupid plant takes over my body.
But I’m sure I can protect you with whatever I have left.
As long as my gears still turn and fuel runs through my veins- as long as this curse allows me to move and speak, I’ll keep you safe.
The last thing I’ll ever do will be to keep you safe.
I love you, and I won’t let you stand in the way of danger anymore.
~~~
Wifies had finished preening Parrots' wings quickly after that, not wanting to dwell on what he had been cursed with, as carefully as he could with fingers that just wouldn’t cooperate, malfunctioning against his command, jammed full of vines and thorns. He left, clinging onto the failing control over his body, gears refusing to turn, and joints remaining stiff, holding himself together as tight as possible in front of Parrot.
He barely made it to his house, tracking cherry blossom petals behind him, sticking to the bottoms of his boots, crushed into paste with each slow, robotic step he took. His legs gave out before he could close the door, knees hitting the floor, metal clinking against pink cherry wood.
Longstanding silence finally broke when a barrage of coughing escaped his fragile body, which felt more like a mannequin for the flowers to grow over and decorate instead of a body made to move, build, solve, and fight.
The contrast between the midnight black puddle of roses, grease, and regret on the pastel pink floor that he had built was stark. A difference between night and day, the difference between Parrot and Wifies. As beautiful and deadly the sight was, the oil would stain such light wood, even if he were to scrub it out right now. What color rug went well in an all-pink and white cottage?
~~~
Damn it, Wifies.
Are you really dying?
Parrot hated the Director.
But he loved Wifies.
He cared and yearned for one half to rise from the dead, and would kill the other half slowly and painfully had you given him anything sharp enough.
Right now though, he felt anger and desperation on the edge of hatred for Wifies. He hated Wifies for being so stupid, so stubborn, so cowardly. Too scared to admit that this time he was actually dying, not the stupid dog he pushed into the void instead.
“Why would I ever want your stupid spyglass?”
~~~
"I told you before,
I killed that version of me, Parrot- I had to..!
Guards- Please!"
His voice, hoarse from wear, had quivered.
Had Parrot ever heard Wifies so emotional and desperate?
Was this the moment where Parrot had to let go of who he thought was his other half?
"… Wifies, when I leave this place, when I get out of this prison.
Just know that even after all you did-"
What the Director did, he was never his Wifies.
"I'm not gonna remember you as the player…"
I'll remember Wifies, not the Director.
"Who did all of these horrible things,
When people ask me about who Wifies was, I'm gonna remember you as the Wifies that I used to know.
The Wifies that cared about other people and was kind to everyone."
The person that I loved, whom you killed.
"The Wifies that gave me the spyglass."
I wish I could say I was sorry.
" Please, Parrot..... please.
Give that to me. Before you hurt yourself. "
Part of me wants to throw it down or bash it into your skull until it's painted red with your blood.
Parrot carefully set down the spyglass, pausing before releasing it onto the pressure plate, claws brushing against the oak wood as he did so.
But I want to let go of us gently; I don't want to watch you die, Wifies.
You're already dead. You have been for a while. I don't want to watch you die again, and then forever in my memories.
He choked on his words, hesitating before speaking.
"It's all yours."
~~~
The first thing he could remember was spawning into that escape room.
Sure, he knew he had to record this escape room video relatively quickly because he had class in the morning, and sure, he knew it would be a pain to edit it, but that's what he enjoyed. Though if he had thought about it past that, he couldn't give you any actual memories of why he knew this, no certain events that happened, just knowing how he should think and act. He didn't actually know exactly what would happen after he escaped.
Who built this escape room again?
But he hadn't thought about it, because after all, he was a busy student with a pile of homework, so he had to escape in a somewhat timely manner.
He was never more than a clone, though.
And then he'd met Kenadian.
His world had completely crumbled before he was able to put it back together, and he had beaten the original by what felt like pure luck. Pure luck is what let him meet Kenadian after all
Kenadian was the one who introduced him to Wato. Together, they had helped him through the nights he tore at himself trying to find flesh under his skin instead of alloy and wires. They talked him through the nights when he didn't believe he deserved to keep going, he didn't deserve to keep going when he wasn't a player, when he had never been a player. But he had finally come to peace with his existence at some point. And he picked up the pieces he had been left with after everything and built his reputation as one of the smartest players in Minecraft.
Parrot had reached out to him because of his reputation.
And Parrot made Wifies finally feel truly like a player with a purpose.
~~~
And so, Wifies was alone.
For the final time.
Wifies knew that if he could, if he wanted to, he could have easily run after Parrot. There would be more than enough time to run from the blast radius that would kill him if he stayed. But two things stopped him.
Number one: he couldn't anymore. It wouldn't be quite as easy; his body could no longer move as fast as he wanted to, and movements paused for a second before stiffly responding. His joints were lodged with vines, and his throat clogged with petals.
Number two: There wasn't really a point. Wifies could continue to follow Parrot to the ends of the server after this, try to make amends, but Parrot would never forgive him.
And as he stood there, the Director began to melt away, and Wifies stood for the first time in a long time, without him. Seconds turned into minutes that felt like hours in his mind, and was another tick closer to the spyglass de spawning.
There really wasn't a good way out of this.
And although hundreds of solutions, pathways, and ideas ran through his head, all leading to his survival, there was still one major problem.
The roses.
And suddenly, his mind stopping, endless thoughts racing coming to a halt, he thought about Parrot.
Parrot,
Oh, Parrot.
I guess I couldn't keep you safe.
I tried.
But I just can't count on you to be this predictable variable.
You never were.
You were never mine to control and protect.
And I wasn't built to stay with you forever.
My little fledging, you,
You were always meant to leave my nest.
This gilded cage I built you.
I should be sorry for trying to keep you here with me.
For trying to stop you from growing past me.
I am sorry.
I am sorry now.
I'm sorry, Parrot.
And I'll never get to tell you, or make it up to you.
But what I can do now,
Is let you leave.
I can let you move on.
You'll do great things, Parrot.
Better and more than I could ever do, even beside you.
Your emerald wings will continue to shine in the sun,
And you'll fly high above here.
I'll always be half-a-player next to you.
Do me a favor,
Don't tell Kenadian and Wato what became of me.
I wish I could tell you sorry.
I'm so proud of you, my little bird.
No, you're no longer mine.
Goodbye, Parrot.
Thanks for giving a clone like me a purpose.
Thank you.
Reason number three: Wifies had done his job.
And so, Wifies stepped off the pressure plate, no more time to think, to hesitate, to calculate. If he still could, he would hold onto his last piece of Parrot, the shattered spyglass that resembled their friendship.
So he ran, for the first time in a long time, his body ran, didn't sputter, creak, or tumble. When he reached for the spyglass, fingers wrapping around it, his body finally gave out, collapsing onto the marble floor.
And he expelled one last yellow rose, free from the stains of oil or grease.
~~~
Wifies was blown up by ParrotX2
~~~
Parrot didn't cry when he heard the explosions just behind the wall, or when he read the death message.
Parrot couldn't cry, didn't know how to grieve the empty feeling that sunk in his heart.
The explosion went off early.
Why did it go off early?
Why would he step off the pressure plate?
Wifies, what did you do?
Part of him felt apathetic, having let go of Wifies emotionally somewhat, part of him felt nothing knowing that Wifies was dead, and proud that he had killed the Director.
Part of him still wanted to turn back, not just to run and see Wifies again, even if just his torn body, but to turn back time before the Director, to save Wifies from his fears that caused all of this.
Parrot didn't turn back, shaky breaths pushing him forward.
Goodbye, Wifies.
~~~
He coughed, nausea pricking at his throat.
He had been having coughing fits for a while, something pulling at his lungs.
Maybe the stress from everything finally broke his immune system down, he thought.
Dread continued to tear at his insides though,
And something about the yellow sunflower petals in his palm told him this wasn't just a bad cold.