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"Yeah, sorry, this sort of thing isn't going to work," he said.
She let out a dry, forced laugh. "Worst April fool's idea ever, huh?"
Shohei checked his notes application, a list of targets laid out as if it were somehow a hit list. The bag he had slung over his left shoulder was related to this—it was a bag of stuff he'd needed to set up April fool's pranks for everyone he knew.
"Next one is Saku-chan. Got anything planned for him?"
Madoka rummaged through her dusk navy duffel bag. If she were a character in a cartoon, she'd probably be throwing out things like fish bones and banana peels, but the reality is that these were also miscellaneous prank items. She pulled out an empty pen.
"Replacing his pen, maybe," she suggested, a teasing glint in her eye.
Shohei grinned mischievously. "Oh, that's perfect. I just have a donut box with nothing in it."
"You sure that's not for Subaru?"
"Nah. Hoshina-san gets instant coffee."
"Damn it, that's really funny. I wish I thought of that."
"I know, right?!"
"Do you think we could get away with pulling something on Yorita-kun while he's on the job?"
"I don't know… I don't want to risk it. Ayato can be seriously scary at times."
"Ah, I thought you'd say that."
"It's shaping up to be a pretty lame April fool's, to be honest. Rintaro and Waguri-san are too busy, Ayato's got that whole job of his, it only really leaves Saku and Hoshina-san, and they live pretty far apart now."
"Tell me about it. I've only got things prepared for three people."
"Eh? Me too! Last time I tried anything with my siblings, my mom really chewed me out… not doing that again. It's just Saku-chan, Hoshina-san, and you this time."
Madoka snickered. "Way to ruin the surprise."
Shohei rubbed his nape. "Damn it."
"You didn't have to say that, you know?! Now I have to know!"
He sighed. "Well, since the cat's out of the bag…"
Rummaging through his shoulder bag, Shohei fished out a small, plain, entirely unremarkable envelope. It had no adornments to draw in the eye, nor did it seem particularly big.
"The plan was to put this somewhere you would see," he said. "You'd read it, assume it's from some secret admirer, and go on a wild goose chase. Isn't it genius?"
Madoka carefully examined the envelope, opening it up to reveal the message inside.
"… It's entirely in English."
"Wrote it myself! What do you think?"
Madoka massaged the bridge of her nose, smiling. "Maybe I'll tell you after I translate the thing."
She pushed the letter back into the envelope. "I do have one criticism with your supposed 'genius' plan, though."
"Eh?! A flaw in my perfect plan?"
"What kind of secret admiter would send a secret love letter to someone on April fool's?"
Shohei paused.
"Aaaargh!! Damn it all!!!"
Madoka laughed, her hands covering her stomach. "I've never had a secret admirer before, you know? Maybe some people really would do that! Who knows?!"
"I just thought it would be great, you know? Since you love talking about romance so much! It would've been perfect! You would've loved it!"
He pretended to kick a can. "I'm such a moron."
Madoka slipped the envelope into her duffel bag. "Hey—careful now. That's an outside thought. Forget it. Besides, there's other things I would've loved. It doesn't have to be this."
"You make it sound so easy…"
"It is easy. Let me show you."
Madoka grabbed her phone, opening up a list with everything she likes.
That was at least what Shohei had expected to happen.
What actually happened was clumsy, boorish, amateur at best. It almost seemed like she struggled with it more than he did.
Madoka got up onto the tips of her toes.
And planted a breathless, chaste kiss on his lips.
"April fools," she whispered, almost silently. Her face carried a look that told him she was uncomfortable.
Shohei wiped his lips with his forearm, staring unconvinced at Madoka. "Don't do that again."
Madoka wiped her own lips, looking away. "I won't. Sorry. That was a horrible idea."
"Yeah, sorry, that sort of thing isn't going to work," he said.
She let out a dry, forced laugh. "Worst April fool's idea ever, huh?"
"At least now we know?"
"Yeah. Let's just put this behind us."