Chapter Text
Pond knows that Phuwin is not a very big fan of physical touch. Phuwin has said this several times, either in interviews or just in passing moments. Even in their line of work, Pond respects the boundary Phuwin has established, prioritizing Phuwin’s comfort over ‘fan service’. Pond understands this; he does, it’s just like a basic math equation or a simple English sentence. Simple, clear, direct—very understandable.
But understanding something ‘simple’ does not equate to not getting confused at all. Following the example analogy, confusion usually happens when you input the wrong symbol or data, or you use the wrong word or punctuation mark, making the whole equation or sentence completely different, hence being wrong.
In this case, from Pond's gathered data, two things are certain: Phuwin doesn't like physical contact, and Phuwin does physical contact with everyone. Although ironic, that is not his biggest concern. What makes Pond confuse the most is—if Phuwin does not entirely hate the whole idea of physical contact, then why can Phuwin do it with everyone... but him?
Pond had lost count of how many times he had held Phuwin either publicly or privately, on cam or off cam. They had been working together for approximately five years. Hips are attached for almost the whole 24 hours a day and seven days a week. From early set calls to film scenes to late night sign-off from events and even the red-eye flights from here to there, not to mention the shared meals in between. It is just inevitable to learn about each other's things subconsciously.
From trivial preferred routines, like Phuwin who enjoys coffee first thing in the morning before he checks his phone, and Pond's kissing and ruffling his dog before going to the gym, to much personal preference like how Pond prefers omelette over other ways to cook eggs, and that Phuwin would rather do a night walk to freshen his mind than sleep right away no matter how tired he is.
As time passed by, they grew closer, closer than they had thought. Just two young men trying to figure out how the industry works, climbing success together, and watching their dreams unfold right before their eyes.
Unexpectedly. Subconsciously. Naturally.
Breaths had sync before stepping out to perform, hearts beat like their hearts are in a competition on who beats faster when they act certain scenes, and tears are shed when the feels caught. All natural, pure, and sincere.
So, when something shifts, even the smallest thing doesn't go unnoticed.
Pond would notice, he definitely would, but would not even dare to point it out. Treating silence as a refuge for something he deems uncertain. For he thinks that diving headfirst into a shallow river is equivalent to absurdity, as many would agree.
They had shared so many moments that Pond knows what Phuwin wants to say even if Phuwin's lips are tightly closed. He knows when Phuwin's energy had depleted with just a glance at the other's eyes, Phuwin's favorite dishes, and even when Phuwin's allergy attacks when he notices that Phuwin becomes restless in his seat.
So, when a certain case, this certain case in fact, keeps on happening, the feeling of not knowing something exactly is making him confused all the time. Pond recalls some moments that he could perfectly remember when this case happened; not that he could even forget them in the first place.
The first was when they were in a shoot, they had just finished shooting a scene, and they were watching the playback to monitor if everything had gone smoothly. As Pond leans in to the video assist monitor, he puts an arm on Phuwin's shoulder. Pond felt Phuwin freeze, eyes looking everywhere but on Pond. Just a few seconds later, Pond felt a light tap on his hand, signaling to take his arm off. Pond quickly did.
The second time Pond could think of was when they had a photoshoot for a jewelry brand. Pond was sitting on a sofa, while Phuwin was settled on the floor, leaning his back against Pond's legs. The layers of necklaces Phuwin was wearing got tangled on his neck, and Pond noticed and offered a helping hand. Phuwin felt the warm hands on his nape, and he subconsciously leaned forward, away from the touch. This whole encounter made Phuwin miss the question thrown at him by the director, asking if he was comfortable with his pose.
The third one was when Phuwin offered to drive him to his place. As Pond was about to get out of the car, Phuwin held a paper bag, which contain a present from his solo trip. Pond reached the bag, smiling widely, and his hand held Phuwin's absentmindedly while his saying thank you and how thoughtful Phuwin was. And when Phuwin's hand slightly trembled as everything happened, Pond absolutely noticed.
The fourth one was when they had a fan gathering. At the end of the event, Pond asked with a low voice meant for only Phuwin to hear, asking if he could hug Phuwin. Phuwin did hug him, but the initial hesitation from Phuwin did not leave Pond's mind even after the event ended.
The most recent one he can think of was when they had dinner together just the night before yesterday, right from their separate schedules of Pond practicing with his JASP.er members and Phuwin with his solo practice. A stray grain of rice settled perfectly on Phuwin's chin; the man was completely oblivious and kept on digging in. Pond hands reach across the table with one mission towards Phuwin's face. Phuwin blinked, stunned, then drank his water in one go afterwards.
These encounters should not make Pond confused. He should think that everything is just normal and nothing should drain his willpower. Pond tried to forget about this whole confusion, but the universe probably loves Pond so much that when he's trying to divert his thinking, the confusion multiplied even further. The universe just decided that today is the final blow; the final rehearsal for the Riser Concert.
The venue of the Riser Concert is at the blast. Idols, singers, and staff are walking here and there. Checking sound equipment, camera angles, stage lights, and instruments to ensure everything is in good working condition. Practices that started at early mornings and end almost at midnight, aiming to give a smooth and perfect performance of groups JASP.ER, LYKN, FELIZZ, and solo artists like Phuwin, Perth, Fourth, and many more.
Now, it is the day for the final rehearsal, a very crucial moment that will help determine and achieve the success of the concert that they have been looking forward to—an achievement itself to perform in Impact Arena.
Pond had arrived past ten in the morning. Even before stepping inside the venue, he can already feel the vibrating energy coming from the inside. Pond loves this part the most, feeling the energy from others elates him. He smirked a little, excitement to the roof, thinking of how this rehearsal will unfold, as this will be with his friends. His heart is doing somersaults thinking of how the concert will go tomorrow, the passion of being an Idol which he has always loved.
His smile never left his lips as he walked in, giving side hugs to his group who came a little earlier than him, even greeting other artists and staff. And then, just like a reflex, or a second nature next to breathing, his eyes wandered to find a particular brown-haired man. A man who would effortlessly stand out from the natural black-haired or even from colored hair, who knows exactly? Nonetheless, he always stands out no matter what his hair color is, whether with brown hair or his natural black hair—at least to Pond.
This notion is once again proven true, as Pond, as always, spots the man not even a minute after searching for him. Like a moth to a flame; like asteroids to Jupiter’s gravitational pull; like a black hole, no escaping once it swallows you whole. Like his eyes are trained for this very moment, like he's competing with GPS on who could track Phuwin the fastest. It is absurd, maybe, but it’s just how things turn out after years of being together—working together.
The sight that greeted him was Phuwin’s shoulder being held by someone’s hand that was not his. Pond probably did not notice how his smile faltered a little, just as Phuwin did not notice Pond’s arrival—too occupied talking and laughing with his friends, Fourth and Gemini. They were seated in a far corner of the venue, faces so close to a phone that look like Phuwin’s.
Pond thinks that whatever they are watching is probably the funniest thing on earth as Phuwin’s mouth stretched widely, head thrown backwards, body vibrating from laughter, and that kind of laugh that’s gasping for air. And if Pond did not notice that he could model for a toothpaste advertisement with how his teeth were fully shown while looking at Phuwin, Phuwin surely did, as the moment he lifted his head, the sight that greeted him was Pond looking at him, smiling like Phuwin did something worth acknowledging by the Guinness World Record.
Pond approached the three, teeth still on full display. He tapped the shoulder of the two, hand lingered a bit longer on Fourth’s hand, that has been on Phuwin's shoulder. Fourth retreated his hand, laughing a little, that made Phuwin grimace.
“What’s so funny, Fourth?” Phuwin says, while jokingly choking Fourth.
“Nothing, nothing at all, right P’Pond?” Fourth diverted his attention to Pond, whose undivided attention was on Phuwin since he joined the group.
“Hmm, yeah,” Pond said breathily, eyes still on Phuwin's.
It doubled down when they had a break to eat dinner. They were seated across from each other. The table was filled with almost every artist, filled with discussions and laughter. At some point, Pond's laughter quieted down when he saw Phuwin basically throwing himself at Gemini when someone threw another joke. The roti tasted weird all of a sudden.
Pond thought that was it, not until late night had come. He just came back from a bathroom break when he saw Phuwin lying down, head comfortably on top of Perth’s thighs. Everyone was there, and Phuwin looked peaceful.
And something about it made Pond feel a little confused. Because why is it so easy for Phuwin to do any form of physical contact with everyone... but him? What had changed after all these years?