Work Text:
The breeze trailed after Jihoon in the softest of a caress as he slowly made his way up the stairs, fingers drumming against the railing, adding to the melody of the cacophony of noise from the busy street down below. The sun was just beginning to set, a kaleidoscope of colours in the shade of red, orange, a hint of pink, dyeing Jihoon’s exposed arms a warm strawberry red. One, two, three – he absentmindedly counted the steps leading up to his destination, to the stream of soft light up ahead.
He paused on the landing, breath catching in his throat, fingers tightening around the railing.
Another five steps and he’d reach that door, the one he no longer knew whether he was welcomed to stop at anymore. And he shouldn’t be here, not really – he told himself that a dozen times on his way over. Still, Jihoon walked on – exposed arms tingling as the breeze picked up into a gust, as if urging him faster, faster. So faster Jihoon walked, like a puppet controlled by a pathetic gust of wind, until his feet led him directly to the door.
And then—
The gust stilled, and Jihoon stilled.
Outside, the streets were still lively, the sounds below barely registering to Jihoon’s mind now. Because the door opened almost as soon as Jihoon’s feet reached the door, and the person Jihoon had been thinking of was standing right in front of him. It was as if the person inside was expecting him, waiting with bated breath to see him.
Hyunwook blinked, eyes widening just slightly, enough for Jihoon to see the confusion on his face, the flicker of something softer beneath it. His lips parted as if to speak, but no sound came out. Jihoon watched, saw the moment Hyunwook’s breath caught, the way his shoulders tensed, the way his gaze swept over Jihoon as if he wasn’t sure if Jihoon was real. Warm lights spilled against Hyunwook’s back, as if wrapping him in a gentle cocoon, as if beckoning Jihoon forward. But Jihoon knew it wasn’t so, knew it was only his imagination getting the best of him, felt disappointment sink into his soul as his eyes trailed to the trash bag in Hyunwook’s hands, felt his heart sink when he saw the wide-eyed confusion etched on Hyunwook’s face.
Ah.
A bitter thought crept its way into Jihoon’s mind, this is because of me.
Because in the past, Hyunwook would’ve immediately pulled him in, rambling about anything that popped into mind. He wouldn’t have cared about Jihoon showing up unannounced, wouldn’t have remained still, breathless, waiting for Jihoon to make the first move.
There would never have been a situation where silence reigned because neither of them knew how to break it, where they both simply looked at each other; both with thoughts in their hearts that they were too fearful to speak out loud.
In the end, it’s Jihoon that speaks, tentatively piercing the suffocating silence.
And there were so many things he wanted to say, so many words swimming in his head, desperate to break free from his lips.
It’s good to see you,
I miss you,
It felt like I could not breathe without you around.
But in the end, he simply gave an awkward wave, “Hi.” He spoke, the words embarrassingly small.
He saw the confusion on Hyunwook’s face deepen, eyes trailing over Jihoon’s form briefly, lingering just a bit too long at Jihoon’s exposed arms before he gave an almost imperceptible sigh.
Then—
A smile, warmer than the lights spilling from beyond the door graced Hyunwook’s lips.
“Jihoon-ah,” A beat as Hyunwook placed the bag on the ground, eyes never leaving Jihoon’s face, “are you not cold?”
Hyunwook doesn’t say anything after that, doesn’t wait for a response, simply pulls a dazed Jihoon inside, letting the door click shut behind them, trapping the cold gust out. Then his fingers were everywhere, ghosting against the goosebumps on his skin as if to warm him up. And Jihoon could only stand there, dumbfounded, eyes dazed as he glanced up at Hyunwook. Because he’d imagined this situation countless times as he made that impromptu decision to seek Hyunwook out when his demons threatened to get the best of him. Imagined the admonishments, the hurt, the betrayal on Hyunwook’s face—
He didn’t imagine this – Hyunwook looking at him like this, so soft.
Couldn’t.
Not when he’d let work take over his life these past few months, so deep into being Yi Hongwi that he’d cast Park Jihoon aside, cast Choi Hyunwook aside. And he didn’t mean to, not really—something Hyunwook must somehow read from his face because his smile’s all the wider now, eyes crinkling at the edges, so soft, so gentle, it almost pulls a sob out of Jihoon’s mouth.
He holds it together though, tries very hard to save face, to not look as pathetic as he feels in that moment.
“Warm me up.” Jihoon speaks for the first time that night, the words slipping out before he could stop them, voice as steady as he can manage. Though it still comes out tinged with a hint of desperation, a hint of begging—for Hyunwook not to refuse him.
Hyunwook pauses for a moment after that, eyes trailing over Jihoon’s face as if searching for something or simply trying to map out a constellation that only he could see. And Jihoon didn’t move either, allowed Hyunwook to look as much as he wanted, mapped out his own constellations on Hyunwook’s face, etched every little thing that made up Hyunwook into his mind.
Then, Hyunwook finally moved, fingers trailing down Jihoon’s arm—hesitating for just a second, before Hyunwook tightly grasped Jihoon’s fingers, almost to the point of it hurting. But Jihoon didn’t flinch, allowed Hyunwook to clasp their hands together, to pull him deeper into the awaiting embrace of the warmth.
Hyunwook doesn’t speak after that, simply pulls Jihoon deeper into the apartment, leads him directly to the couch before heading further inside. Jihoon hears drawers opening, fabric rustling. When Hyunwook reappears, he’s holding a hoodie, still doesn’t say a word as he approaches him. Just slips the hoodie over Jihoon’s head with a gentleness that has Jihoon’s breath catching in his throat. And Jihoon lets him, pliant and obedient in Hyunwook’s hands, arms instinctively lifting to accommodate Hyunwook’s actions.
He remained still, gaze never leaving Hyunwook even as Hyunwook kneeled, patiently rolling up the sleeves of the too big hoodie on Jihoon’s frame. It’s only when Hyunwook finishes rolling up the second sleeve that he finally speaks.
“You should’ve told me you were coming.” Still kneeling, Hyunwook spoke.
Jihoon’s heart lurched, “I—” A pause, “I didn’t know if I could.”
Hyunwook finally met his eyes, and Jihoon saw no anger there. No hurt, just the same warm brown eyes, the same fondness that Hyunwook never tried to conceal when he looked at him.
“You always can.”
“Jihoon-ah, my door is always open for you.”
The words landed softly, spoken simply as if it were a matter of course.
Choi Hyunwook’s door would always be open for Park Jihoon.
But it reverberated through Jihoon’s chest all the same.
“I—” Jihoon whispered, but the rest of the words dissolve on his tongue. Because he didn’t know how to begin, how to start with laying his heart bare for Hyunwook to see. How to explain the feelings that had been tangling up inside him for so long—the guilt, the loneliness. The feeling that he’d lose Hyunwook.
But Hyunwook didn’t push, he never did. Instead, he rose, palms brushing against Jihoon’s legs as he stood, a fleeting touch. He sat next to Jihoon, smile soft as he opened his arms, all comically wide, “Come here…come to hyung, let hyung warm you up.”
A snort escaped Jihoon before he could help it, a murmur of “brat” spilling from his lips. But he didn’t protest, shifting until he was right beside Hyunwook. And he only hesitated for a breath of a second before he stopped himself thinking about anything else but the promised warmth of burrowing into Hyunwook’s embrace.
He leaned in.
Hyunwook’s arms closed around him instantly, tight, one hand sliding up to cradle the back of Jihoon’s head. And Jihoon sank into the warmth, into the familiar scent emanating from him. There were many things he wanted to say, a conversation needed to be had. He knew that. But for now, he rested his forehead on Hyunwook’s shoulder, resisted the impulse to breathe that scent further, content to sit like this, in this silence surrounded by Hyunwook’s warmth.
It’s Hyunwook that speaks first after a while, “Jihoon-ah.”
“Hm?”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Hyunwook whispered, breath tickling Jihoon’s cheek, “you can always take the time you need.”
Jihoon’s breath stuttered, the words sinking into him slowly. He didn’t trust himself to speak, could only manage a soft, “hm” in answer. It comes out nasally, almost a whine, not at all like the usual composed Park Jihoon he was used to being.
And he knows Hyunwook hears it too, feels a small chuckle rumble against his skin as Hyunwook shifted slightly, lips grazing Jihoon’s neck slightly. A soft, almost accidental touch, except Hyunwook doesn’t pull away. Waits for a moment as if to make sure Jihoon was okay with the touch before he leaned closer, breath warm against Jihoon’s neck.
Jihoon swallowed, “Hyunwook-ah…”
Hyunwook hummed in response, a low sound that tickled Jihoon’s neck. His hand slid into Jihoon’s clothes, fingers hot against his skin, holding him with a steadiness that made Jihoon dizzy.
A long time coming.
Jihoon thought as he pulled back, just a fraction, just enough to see the look in Hyunwook’s eyes. The hunger.
They were close.
Too close.
Not close enough.
Jihoon’s eyes flicked down to Hyunwook’s lips before he could help it. Because the air suddenly felt charged, fragile enough that a single moment would be all it took to shatter it.
It’s Jihoon that shatters it.
Or perhaps it was Hyunwook.
A long time coming.
Jihoon thought again as the distance between them closed.
The kiss starts off slow, tentative, as if Hyunwook was afraid that anything harder would break Jihoon. It’s Jihoon that turns it desperate, breaking the kiss only to plant himself on Hyunwook’s lap, arms circling around his neck to pull him closer, tongue licking into Hyunwook’s mouth, desperate to feel more. And as if finally realising that Jihoon wouldn’t break, Hyunwook also became bolder, fingers everywhere at once, exploring every inch of Jihoon’s bare skin underneath the hoodie, gripping Jihoon’s thighs. Jihoon gasped into the kiss, a sound Hyunwook swallowed, deepening the kiss with a certainty that made Jihoon’s head spin, an uncontrollable moan spilling from his lips before he could help it.
“Fuck.” Hyunwook breaks the kiss at the sound, teeth trailing from Jihoon’s jaw to his neck in gentle nips that quickly turned harder, enough to leave bruises that neither of them cared to think about having to conceal at that moment, “make that sound again for me. Hm? Hyung? Let me hear it again.”
Let me hear the sound I’ve been imagining I’d get to be the one to spill from your lips.
“Hyunwook…” the sound Hyunwook’s desperate to hear spills from Jihoon’s lips in the form of his name and Hyunwook almost blacks out, his very last shred of control breaking in an instant. His arms tighten around Jihoon’s waist, almost ravenous in the way his lips claims Jihoon once more.
No words are exchanged later, at least not serious ones. That was a conversation to be had in the morning. Now, they were content with shared giggles, Jihoon having to find a million ways to hide the marks that dotted his skin because Hyunwook insisted on taking videos, pictures, wanted to remember this night long after it ended.
And Jihoon didn’t protest when he decided to post it to his Instagram – an impulsive childishness to mark his claim before pulling Jihoon closer…to continue marking his claim.
Outside, the sun had completely set, the noises below dimmed by the sound of Jihoon’s moans filling the apartment. Of Hyunwook’s fingers exploring every inch of Jihoon’s skin, a trail of heat everywhere he touched.
Because Jihoon was no longer cold.