Work Text:
Some days, Yamaguchi looks at his two gorgeous boyfriends as they lay beside him, arms wrapped around each other's bodies as well as his own, and he sees them, the two boys that he loves so much, the two boys that love him in return, one of which is tall, blond and beautiful, while the other is tall, dark and sexy, and he just feels like he isn't good enough for them.
How could he ever be good enough? He's Yamaguchi, the one who's so painfully average that all of the teachers ignore him, who isn't even good enough at volleyball to be a starter, who's too ugly for anyone other than bullies to pay attention to him, who has freckles and acne and scars on his face which make him look so repulsive compared to his boyfriends that it's a wonder they even keep him around. He hears people whispering about it, he hears people muttering to their friends under their breaths, saying things terrifyingly similar to the things that he thinks to himself when he's feeling down, but doesn't say out loud.
"Kuroo-kun and Tsukishima-kun make a perfect couple by themselves." Some of them mutter.
"They don't need to keep the other guy around." Others say.
"Tsukishima-kun is probably just being nice to him because they've been friends for such a long time." A few insist.
I mean, Yamaguchi does know that they're just rumours, he knows that they're probably just saying those things because they don't understand why someone like him is a part of their relationship while others aren't. However, Yamaguchi can't help but let what they say get to him, mostly because they remind him of the things that he says to himself. Every word rubs salt into the wound, and it hurts, sometimes, it hurts because he knows it's true.
But, most days, Yamaguchi pushes these thoughts to the back of his mind and allows himself to be happy, allows himself to believe that his boyfriends want to be with him as much as he wants to be with them.
However, some days, the negative thoughts resurface and his self esteem plummets, and he can't help but think that his wonderful boyfriends are better together by themselves, without Yamaguchi, and it's enough to make him wonder if they need him at all, really. He's the third wheel, he knows it, they don't have to tell him so. He's the one who they don't want, but tolerate, just because they're too nice to tell him to go.
And it's on these days, when he's at his lowest, that he wonders when they will realise that they don't need him, he wonders when they will throw him out and leave him behind.
He wonders if he'll be able to recover from it when they do.
**
Tsukishima has known Yamaguchi since they were young, which is a lot longer than Kuroo has known either of them, so the blond boy is always the first to notice when Yamaguchi has a day like this. The smaller boy shrinks back from their touches and cannot meet their eyes, stuttering when he tries to talk to them, declining invitations to meet up or go out and instead suggesting that the other two go together without him, like they'd have more fun if he wasn't there. On these days, he grows fragile, needs their attention, needs to be assured that he isn't going to be left behind like he constantly worries he will be.
And so Tsukishima notices, gives Kuroo a firm nudge on the arm along with a pointed look, and the two of them dedicate themselves to showing Yamaguchi exactly how they feel about him. The taller blond gently places a long hand atop Yamaguchi's head, tugging him closer to his side, and he says "Stop it, Yamaguchi, I can feel your self-loathing from over here."
Kuroo nods seriously in agreement, then he grins reassuringly. The grin is still his trademark grin, but it's softer around the edges. It's a grin that is reserved just for Yamaguchi, Tsukishima knows it is, he's never seen it when the smaller boy isn't around. Kuroo grins his soft grin and slaps a palm onto Yamaguchi's shoulder, making the smaller boy jump slightly at the touch. "Dammit, Tada-chan, stop thinking whatever crap you're thinking and come back to us. We need you." He demands, his arms falling to settle around Yamaguchi's waist. Then, he pulls back one of his hands for a second to grab Tsukishima's wrist and pull him towards them. "Right, Tsukki? Right?"
Reluctantly, Tsukishima allows Kuroo to pull him over to join their little group hug. "Kuroo is right. I never thought I'd say that, but yes, he's right for once." Tsukishima admits. "We need you."
"You hear that, Tada-chan? I'm right. Now come here and hug us."
Overwhelmed, Yamaguchi hesitates, not sure if he should be included. Then, he feels Tsukishima's arms wind themselves around his middle, and Kuroo, always impatient, huffs, mutters "Come here.", and manually lifts both of Yamaguchi's long arms upwards and forces him to put one around each of their necks. The two of them pull his smaller body into their embrace, and Yamaguchi already feels warmer inside, the ice that had formed in his heart slowly beginning to thaw.
He feels like crying tears of relief. This is exactly what he needs to come back to himself, he hates feeling worthless, he hates it, but sometimes he can't help but feel like he's in the way, unwanted and unneeded and ready to be disposed of whenever his boyfriends tire of him. Realistically, he knows that they love him and that they don't want him gone. But sometimes he can't be realistic. He can't, he isn't strong enough.
Here, though, standing in his boyfriends' arms, he feels like he is worth something, and he knows that he is loved and that no one is going to leave him behind.
He laughs wetly, hugging the two men tighter. "I need you guys, too." He croaks, sniffling furiously. "Obviously."
Kuroo smiles and presses a kiss to his smaller boyfriend's head. "Good to have you back, Tada-chan."