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Shaun's day had been a rollercoaster.
He'd started the morning full of energy and motivation to finally tackle that mountain of paperwork that had been stacking in the back of the shop over the last few weeks. In practice, that task was about as fun as it sounded, and he quickly regretted not having started on it sooner. Things had gotten worse when he'd gotten news from Ashley, one of the builders that were working on the shop over in Westruun, that they had miscalculated the amount of wood they were going to need for the shelves. All that, combined with a few more or less delightful customers, had driven him to his favourite bar that evening.
Things had started to look brighter when he'd found the legendary Vox Machina. It was obvious that they had been drinking for a longer time. They had greeted him warmly and invited him to sit with them. They had enjoyed wonderful dinner and drinks and good conversation. Some handled the alcohol better than others - poor Keyleth would have the worst hangover in the morning. It was a great night after a not-so-great day.
Until Vax had called him over to have a talk.
Shaun would never say no to a conversation with the handsome half elf. He even had to admit to feeling a spark of hope blooming in his chest as he made his way to the table in the corner.
The moment Vax’ildan started speaking was the moment his day had finally decided to become his worst in a long time.
For the entire way home he heard the man’s words ringing in his ears, playing over and over again in his head. He felt the aching in his chest; as if someone was tugging at his heart, trying to rip it out of his chest. For once he was thankful for the darkness around him.
As soon as he closed the door behind him, he felt the tears swelling, his throat tightening.
Now, he was sitting here on his ridiculously comfortable couch, hugging a fluffy pillow, crying his makeup off. He was running out of tissues.
It wasn't even that he was surprised. A blind person could see that Vax had a thing for Keyleth, but it was different hearing it said out loud; hearing his fear confirmed.
Crying felt good. He hadn't cried in a while, simply because there hadn’t been any time. Between managing the shop and setting up the expansion and pretending to know how to be a functioning adult, he hadn’t found an opportunity.
Things would change now. Flirting and joking with each other was all fun and games until someone caught feelings. Now, when they retreated to the backrooms of the shop, there would be awkward silences where there used to be the brushing of hands and soft smiles.
Shaun still vividly remembered that day Vax'ildan had gazed into his eyes, squeezing his hand as they sat side by side. He had considered kissing him that day. It would have been the perfect moment. But he hadn't. He wasn’t sure if he regretted it.
Maybe it was better this way. Adventuring wasn't something one could easily retire from. What a couple they would have been – Vax'ildan always on the road, saving the world with his friends, never knowing which day might be his last; Shaun staying here or in Westruun, leading the simple yet wonderful life he'd always dreamed of. More time spent apart than together. They weren't meant to work out.
He didn't blame Vax - he couldn't control his heart. Just like Shaun couldn't control his own. It wasn't their destiny to spend their lives together in that way. He only hoped he would still get to watch Vax grow old.
Perhaps in 40 years, a dashing half-elven man would stand in one of Gilmore's many shops, hair grey, eyes tired but sparkling with that same cunning, and Shaun would remember what it felt like to be young and in love.