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“Don’t come and lecture me,” Harry warned, before he took a sip of his whiskey. “I’ve already had plenty enough of that this evening.”
Lucius chuckled. “No lectures from me, though I suppose I don’t need to ask about the subject of said lectures, do I?”
Harry scoffed. “Of course you don’t. Why didn’t you warn me that he was coming?”
Sitting down on the stool beside Harry, Lucius gestured to the bartender to fetch him a drink. “I didn’t know that he was. His presence here is as much a surprise to me as it is to you.”
“Sneaky bastard,” Harry grumbled.
“You could always just ask him why he’s here,” Lucius suggested, an amused smile on his face.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass,” Harry replied, his tone dry. “He’s been watching me all evening. You know that he’s going to strike at some point. I might as well just wait for the axe to fall.”
Lucius laughed as he nodded his thanks to the bartender, who’d placed his drink on the bar near his hand. “You get awfully dramatic when Severus is concerned, Harry. It’s most amusing.”
“As long as you’re entertained,” Harry muttered, taking another sip of his drink. “You know I like to please you.”
Lucius laughed again. “Hm. If only that were true. You’ve been throwing off my advances for years.”
“I’m too smart to be seduced by you,” Harry replied, wryly.
“That’s why I like you,” Lucius agreed, entirely too cheerful for Harry’s taste. “Incoming, on your left.”
“Harry, dear,” crooned a female voice, far too close to be comfortable. Harry turned in his seat slightly so that he could look at Romilda Vane; his biggest fan, and most devout stalker. “I’ve called you so many times this past week, why haven’t you been answering me? You did say that I could call.”
Rolling his eyes, Harry replied, “I said I couldn’t stop you from calling. I didn’t say that I would answer.”
Lucius choked on his drink, glaring at Harry as he coughed. Harry chuckled at his friend.
“But Harry!” Romilda cried out, loud enough to draw the attention of those around them. Harry sighed as he saw people turning their way. “When will you see that we’re meant to be together? I love you!”
Before Harry was forced to reply, Kingsley appeared with security, who immediately escorted Romilda—not quietly—from the room.
“Sorry, Harry. I don’t know how she keeps slipping under the radar, but I’ll brief security again,” Kingsley said, squeezing Harry’s shoulder.
Harry nodded. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t think she’s necessarily dangerous, just delusional.”
“She really is,” Lucius agreed. “She found us in a restaurant a few weeks ago and serenaded Harry. It was quite something.”
Harry groaned. “Never going to let me live that one down, are you?”
“Of course not.”
“Of course not,” Harry repeated, standing up. “If you gentlemen will excuse me, I need some air.”
“Harry…”
“I have a finite amount of patience, and I’m quickly reaching my limit,” Harry admitted. “I need a minute.”
He patted Lucius’ shoulder to show that he wasn’t annoyed with his friend and then left the bar, stepping out onto one of the balconies. Fairies danced around the nearby rose bushes below, lighting the area with a soft glow. Leaning back against one of the stone pillars around the balcony, Harry let out a breath.
Rubbing at his tired eyes, Harry silently cursed himself. He couldn’t believe that he’d allowed Severus to catch him unawares. It had been four years since he’d last seen the older man, yet as soon as their eyes had met across the Ministry Ballroom, Harry’s heart had tried to pound its way out of his chest.
Why Severus was here, Harry could only guess, and he was sure that he wouldn’t like whatever the reason was.
Of course, if Severus was here to gain revenge on Harry, well, Harry knew that he probably deserved some retribution. Harry had walked away from Severus without so much as an apology shortly after the end of the war.
He’d known it had been the right thing to do, but Severus seemed to be under the mistaken impression that Harry had walked away scot-free.
“Trying to escape the fan club, Harry?”
The words were softly spoken, but they carried in the silence, the hint of disgust as easily heard as if they’d been shouted. He closed his eyes, dropping his chin to his chest.
“Say whatever you’ve got to say, Severus,” he whispered.
“You won’t even look at me now, Harry? Am I really that grotesque? Are you really that shallow?”
Harry snorted, ignoring his brain yelling at him to just be quiet and wait until it was over. “Yeah, that’s definitely it. I’m shallow. I’m worse than shallow. I’m a kiddy pool.”
“Are you enjoying your new life, Harry?” Severus taunted, and Harry could feel the man getting closer. “Are you enjoying taking those nameless, faceless men to your bed night after night? Do they make you feel as good as I did? Do you call their names in ecstasy as you come?”
Harry could feel Severus’ breath on his neck, could feel the man’s hard figure against his back. He shivered involuntarily.
“You know not to believe everything you read in the Prophet, Severus.”
“Yes, I do, but even they surely can’t be wrong about all of them, could they, Harry?”
Harry turned around, tilting his head to look up into Severus’ dark eyes. They were filled with so many different emotions that Harry couldn’t name them all, but then, he didn’t even try.
“You’ve just proven that I was right to walk away when I did. Good night, Severus.”
Sliding out from between the pillar and Severus’ body, Harry walked back inside, leaving Severus alone in the night air. Lucius was watching from the bar, and he tilted his head to the side slightly.
Harry walked over to him quickly, ignoring his name being called from the other side of the Ballroom.
“I’m going home. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Bright and early,” Lucius agreed. “Come to the Manor, I’ll have breakfast ready to be served at seven.”
Harry nodded. “I’ll be there. Ask Missy to please make me lots of coffee, I have a feeling that I’m going to need it.”
“Are you going to be okay? I can leave with you, you can spend the night at the Manor if you’d like?”
Smiling slightly at the concern in Lucius’ voice, Harry shook his head. “I’m fine. I’ll see you in the morning.”
…
Severus stayed on the balcony for about twenty minutes, trying his best to regain his composure.
When he’d made the decision to attend the Ministry Ball, he’d hoped for a chance to speak to Harry. To ask him what had gone wrong four years ago. To see if there was any hope for a reconciliation between them.
When Harry left, Severus had tried to tell himself that it didn’t matter, that he didn’t care, that it had been inevitable. The denial hadn’t lasted very long, because deep down, Severus knew that he loved Harry with everything in him. The younger man had so firmly inserted himself into Severus’... everything, that it was impossible to imagine life without him.
Honestly, despite the loneliness and the grief it had caused, Severus didn’t want to imagine a life without him.
He’d cursed his own temper when he’d watched Harry walk back inside. Truthfully, he wasn’t even angry with Harry.
He knew that Lucius and Harry had a very strong—if slightly odd—friendship, and it was his own fault for casting an eavesdropping charm that he’d heard them… flirting?
Severus knew that he had no right to be angry about their friendship.
Then that awful Vane girl had made a scene, and Severus had watched as the smile on Harry’s face dimmed, had seen some of the light leave his eyes.
Severus wasn’t angry with Harry; he was angry with the situation.
But he’d taken it out on Harry.
Shaking off the frustration, Severus walked back into the ballroom and searched for Lucius. When he caught sight of him, Lucius was already watching him, and he raised his glass in greeting, gesturing to the empty seat beside him.
Severus wanted nothing more than to just leave, but Lucius had been his friend for a very long time, and if anyone could help Severus right now, it was going to be him.
“Lucius,” he murmured, perching on the stool Harry had vacated earlier.
“Severus. A surprise to see you this evening, I must say,” Lucius replied, pushing a tumbler of whiskey at Severus. He raised a brow in question, and Severus conceded with a small nod.
“I knew that you would inform Harry of my presence had I told you that I intended to come.”
Lucius chuckled. “Guilty as charged, I fear,” he murmured. “I assume that you can take credit for his early departure?”
Severus nodded again. “Most likely.”
“Stubborn idiots, the pair of you.”
“It’s not as though I haven’t tried to contact him, Lucius. Catching him here was my last option. Believe me, I’ve attempted every other means of communication at my disposal already. He refuses any mail from me, I’m blocked from both his Floo and the wards around his home. If he sees me in Diagon Alley, he disappears… I don’t know what else to do.”
“And now that you’ve found him, you’ve chased him away. Really, Severus, I’m beginning to wonder about you. You should have listened to me four years ago.”
“I was hurt.”
“I know. So was he.”
“It was his decision,” Severus argued, his voice raising slightly.
“To protect you,” Lucius growled. “As I told you back then. If you’d fought for him at the time, you wouldn’t be faced with the challenge he presents you now.”
Severus glared at his long time friend before he sighed and looked away. “Am I too late, Lucius?”
Lucius twisted his lips thoughtfully, and then shook his head. “I don’t think so, if you can pull your head out of your arse.”
Severus rolled his eyes and stood up.
“It’s time I left,” he muttered, drawing his cloak around his shoulders. “A pleasure as always, Lucius.”
Lucius sighed. “Severus.”
When Severus looked back, Lucius rolled his eyes.
“Breakfast at the Manor. Of course, you didn’t hear it from me that he will be there. His presence will be of complete surprise to you. Understood?”
“Understood. Thank you, Lucius.”
“Mhm. Don’t fuck it up. Again. This is the first and last time that I will intervene for you where Harry is concerned.”
…
“How many meetings have we got today?” Harry asked, picking apart a blueberry muffin. “I know that we’ve got to meet Calhoon, though if he hasn’t got his head out of his arse, it will be a short meeting.”
Lucius snorted, summoning his diary to him. “Yes, we’re meeting with him for lunch. We’ve to be at the Ministry before that, for the proposal on the new History syllabus for Hogwarts.”
Harry nodded.
“No meetings this afternoon, so I’ll likely spend it catching up on paperwork.”
“I’ve got to go and see Andromeda this afternoon,” Harry replied. “With Teddy getting older, she’s struggling a little bit, I think. He’s a ball of energy from the moment he wakes up in the morning.”
Chuckling, Lucius replied, “Draco was much the same as a child. Have you had any success getting him to control his metamorphing?”
“A little. When I take him anywhere in the Muggle world, he knows he has to keep his appearance the same. Of course, at the moment, it’s much easier to just take him out in the Magical places.”
“The Magical Aquarium was a favourite of Draco’s. Have you taken Teddy there yet?”
“Not yet. I might take him there this weekend though. I’m sure that he’ll help me to spend a portion of my inheritance in the gift shop. The woman who served us at the zoo shop a few weeks ago looked at me like I was insane. The amount of things he ‘needed’ was ridiculous.”
Lucius’ reply was interrupted by the fire flaring green. Harry looked up to see Severus stepping out of the flames, brushing ash off his shoulders.
“Lucius, I—Harry?”
Harry briefly glanced at Lucius, who looked entirely unsurprised by Severus’ appearance, and sighed. “Good morning, Severus.”
“I’ll just go and make sure that all of the paperwork is in order for our lunch meeting, Harry,” Lucius murmured, standing and leaving the room quickly.
“Harry… I’m sorry.”
Harry frowned. “For what?”
“I was out of line last night. I wanted to talk to you, but… my anger got the better of me.”
Shaking his head, Harry let out another sigh. “Severus, you have every right to hate me. I… if you make sure that Lucius knows which events you’ll be attending, I’ll ensure that I’m not there.”
Severus shook his head. “Harry, will you please just listen to me?”
Dropping the muffin, which he hadn’t been eating anyway, Harry looked Severus in the eye and nodded.
“I miss you,” Severus murmured. “It’s been four years, and I still wake up every morning hoping that it’s all been a bad dream and that you’ll be lying beside me in the bed, where you belong. I miss you waffling about insignificant things while you cook breakfast in your pyjamas. I miss your commentary of the Prophet. I miss coming home to you at night. I miss everything that makes you you. Even the things that drive me mad.” He paused. “Especially the things that drive me mad. Harry… I miss you.”
“Severus…”
“I know why you left me,” Severus said, stepping closer to the table. “I know you were trying to protect me from the press and the public at large. I don’t care about any of them. They can smear my name in every issue of the Prophet from now until the day the world ends for all I care. They can send me a thousand howlers a day. It doesn’t matter. I only care about you.”
A tear slipped down Harry’s cheek silently. “It was never just about that.”
“Then what was it?”
“They print lies about me constantly. In the last four years, if you take the Prophet and Witch Weekly at their word, I’ve slept with almost four hundred different people, both men and women. I’ve been a Dark Lord in the making three times. I’ve been slated for the Minister spot twice, despite neither time being an election year. I’ve both found a cure for Dragon Pox, and been the cause of three separate illnesses.” Harry shook his head. “Severus, the truth is that I haven’t ever slept with anyone but you. Ever. But… you believed it, as I knew you would.”
“I didn’t,” Severus disagreed softly. “I was trying to hurt you, because I was angry. I never believed any of the lies they printed about you, Harry. Even if Lucius hadn’t been telling me that they were rubbish, I wouldn’t have believed them because I know you.”
Harry smiled shakily. “You didn’t believe them?”
“Not a single one.”
“What about the way Ron was misquoted in his interview with Rita about Hermione and I?”
“I sent her a curse in the mail for trying to ruin your relationship with your best friends.”
“What about the interview with Daniel Powler, who knew about the scars on my back?”
“He was an intern at St Mungo’s when you were being treated, of course he knew about the scars,” Severus pointed out. “Never mentioned the birthmark at the top of your thigh though, did he?”
Harry looked down. “I’m sorry. I thought… I thought it would be easier to leave you before we got too serious, rather than have you leave me over a lie.”
Severus stepped closer and tugged Harry to his feet with gentle hands. He cupped Harry’s cheek, raising his head so that their eyes met once more.
“I love you, Harry.”
As more tears fell down Harry’s face, he pushed up slightly and pressed their lips together. His hand clutched at the dark grey robe Severus wore—the first giveaway that he’d known Harry would be at the Manor, since it was his favourite—and kissed him hard, trying to push all of the regret and apologies he could into it.
Severus wrapped his arms around Harry, holding him tightly as he gentled the kiss, forgiveness and love and promises for the future in every touch.
…
“Lucius? We should be making our way over to the Ministry,” Harry called, knowing that Lucius would hear him from his office.
Lucius strode into the room a few moments later, looking carefully at Harry, who kept his face impassive. Severus had left a little while ago, with a promise to see Harry later that evening, after Harry was finished visiting with Andromeda and Teddy.
“Are you… okay?” Lucius asked, as Harry stood up.
Harry nodded as the two of them stepped towards the fireplace. Harry raised his eyebrow at his friend.
“That was a sneaky trick, Lucius.”
Shrugging, Lucius smiled. “Slytherin,” he replied, as though that was all the explanation needed. Harry supposed that it probably was.
“Thank you.”
“Of course.”