Chapter Text
It was an ordinary day at the manor, everyone was gathered to discuss the official declaration of Subaru Natsuki as knight of the half elf Candidate Emilia. Emilia wanders the halls of the second floor of the roswaal manor to investigate where might her knight who makes her heart flutter be.
“Suuuubaruuuu where arrreeeee youuuuuuuu,” asked the Silver Haired Heroine of our story.
*clash*
“Subaruu, what is that?” She ask, but then, suddenly Subaru smashes down a closet door with a giant ass 40 lb Lake Trout still flailing in his arms.
“GAHHHHHHH,” she screams, as Subaru fucking charges her.
“INVISIBLE PROVIDENCE,” the insane chordata wielding man exclaims and suddenly the fish throws itself straight into the sharp eared women's face, possibly shattering her skull.
Subaru then bolts away fish levitating behind him, seemingly sucked towards the raven haired teen.
Running full sprint down the hall, the man runs through the manor, with goals known only to him, and a fish the size of him in his arms, he bashes down a second door and walks into a room where a maid with hair of blue lies down in a coma, he steps up to her and smacks her in the face, somehow this fish is still alive and has yet to die from blunt force trauma. The boy departs just as fast as he arrived.
Jumping through a window to quickly descend to a lower floor, then charges right back in.
“Barusu, where were you? There appears to be an intruder. Lady Emilia is-AGHGHH” she screams, as the equivalent of 20ft ladder smashes directly into her.
Garfiel who happened to be watching as this occurs, exclaims “Cap'n, wha ta fuk” as he watches his crush get a full face of what's slowly becoming less fish and more so unprocessed chum, which of course soon the bloody mucus that now coats the animal is approaching him so fast that he can already feel the poor creatures flesh ripple from the Shockwave as it somehow clings to life. Garfiel switches to his beast form, a futile attempt to defend against the inevitable but unfortunately the scaled beast smashes into him, shattering his larynx. He falls to the ground in agony and tries to recover, but alas, he falls unconscious. The fisherman has won.
Subaru marches on and bust down yet another door and locates Otto, who immediately sees the fish in his hands and vomits. Subaru then just kinda taps Otto with the creature before leaving. Even this man can show pitty upon one so pathetic.
When the boy walks through the destroyed doorway he sees a frantic spirit desperate to-nevermind. She just got pummeled. One remains.
As Subaru runs throughout the halls, he kicks down yet ANOTHER door, and finds it. The clown. Roswall.
"Ahh~ Suuubaruu-kun~. What brings you-"
Subaru hits him with the fish hard enough to eject his contracted spirits and send them far away. He then goes for a second hit, and hits him hard enough to knock the makeup off him.
Roswaal reaches out his arms, a vein attempt to stop what is becoming increasingly inevitable, but alas, Subaru shoves the entire fish all the way down this throat, killing both him, and finally ending the fish once and for all.
Subaru, knowing his job is done, walks away, proud of what he has done. He then remembers he completely forgot about Frederica, and returns, try it once more.