Chapter Text
BREAKING NEWS: KATSUKI BAKUGOU AND MIDORIYA IZUKU – CAUGHT CHEATING ON THEIR LOVING PARTNERS?
Below the headline of the magazine is a picture of Izuku and Katsuki kissing in their car. “Fuckin’ creeps,” Katsuki says when Izuku tosses it onto the kitchen counter.
Izuku huffs in agreement. “I know! You’d think they’d stop caring now that we’re older. Besides, why do they think we’re married to different people? I just assumed they thought we were bachelors.”
Katsuki raises an eyebrow and pulls up his shirt, gesturing at his abs. “You think I’d stay single my whole life with a body like this? Not a chance. I ain’t fucking lame like that.”
Izuku rolls his eyes. “Okay, Katsuki. I think it’s time to accept that you aren’t quite as fit as you used to be.”
“Fuck off, dad bods can be hot!”
Izuku snorts and picks the magazine up again, flipping through it and reading the section about their “affair” to Katsuki as he makes dinner—oyakodan by the smell of it. Izuku’s mouth is already watering.
He makes sure to add a dramatic effect as he speaks. “Just last week, one of our reporters caught on camera an intimate moment between our favorite hero duo—Dynamight and Deku. It’s clear to see what they are up to, which leaves the question…do their wives know?”
Katsuki laughs. “Okay, I’m pissed enough that they think I’m married to someone else, but who the hell would say in full confidence that it’s a woman?” Izuku just shushes him and continues.
“While we know they keep their lives outside of hero work incredibly private, we’ve seen the signs. An an anonymous source from someone at the Twin Stars Agency states ‘Deku brings a bento to work every day, and it looks and smells so good that some of us consider asking his wife to make them for us too.’”
“Of course they love my cooking,” Katsuki cackles. “But tell them to fuck off. Not happening.”
“The source continued on to say, ‘I’ve seen pictures of young kids hung up on the walls. I’m not gonna tell you guys what they look like, but it definitely seems like they each have one kid.”
Izuku pauses, thinking of Hibana with her blonde hair and green eyes, and Naoki with his blond hair with green highlights, and red eyes. Maybe Hibana could pass as only Izuku’s kid, but Naoki? Really? By the way Katsuki’s nose is scrunched in distaste, he can tell he feels the same.
“‘Deku and Dynamight don’t stay late most nights, saying they have things to do at home. Dynamight especially likes talking about his spouse, never mentioning her by name, but ranting about the various things she does during the day.’”
“Aww, Katsuki you talk about me?”
“Big fucking mistake by the look of it,” Katsuki says.
“It’s certainly disappointing to see such great heroes fall so far. They’ve done much to protect our cities, but could an affair like this mean the end of their careers?”
“Are they serious, Izuku?” Katsuki pulls the magazine from his hands, glaring down at the words. Izuku nearly takes it back, afraid the man’s about to explode it in his anger.
“It’s gonna be okay, Katsuki. We can talk to our PR specialist and get her advice.” Izuku sighs. “Maybe it’s time we come clean. There’s only so many people we can make sign NDA’s before someone says no.”
“I guess we’ve had a good run,” Katsuki says. “I’m honestly surprised we’ve made it this far. Civilians are fucking stupid.” Izuku can’t help but giggle at that.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t have a comeback for Katsuki. “No they aren’t, they’re just…”
Katsuki snorts. “Stupid. You can say it, dumbass.”
Izuku glares at him. “I’m gonna go get Naoki. Hibana should be back any minute from volleyball practice—make sure she leaves her bag by the door this time!”
“Wouldn’t wanna trip and break your nose again, am I right?” Izuku huffs at Katsuki and doesn’t respond. He heads down the hallway of their house towards their son’s room. He finds Naoki curled up in his bed, reading an old All Might comic book of Izuku’s and quietly sounding out the harder words. He’s only five, but he’s already got Katsuki’s determination to be the best.
Izuku knocks on half open the door, and Naoki hops from his bed. “Papa!” He says, shoving the comic into Izuku’s hands. “I can’t read some of the words. I gotta know what happened to All Might!” Izuku chuckles, ruffling Naoki’s curly hair. Both his kids got it, and he can’t say he’s upset about it.
“After dinner, Naoki. You gotta be patient.” His son huffs but dutifully takes the comic back, setting it down carefully at his tiny desk (he wanted an office like the one Izuku and Katsuki shared, and it made Izuku’s heart melt every time he saw it). The two head out into the kitchen right as the door slams open.
“What did I say about slamming the door?” Katsuki shouts across the house.
“Not to do it?” Hibana calls back. She appears from the entryway, still wearing her practice clothes and hair a poofy mess.
“Go take a shower, you reek!” Katsuki yells. Hibana rolls her eyes.
“You aren’t anywhere near me, don’t even!” Izuku chuckles at their antics. Twelve and she’s already quite the spitfire.
“How was practice?” Izuku asks, watching as Naoki gives his sister a hug, whining only slightly when he comes away covered in her sweat.
“Eww, Nacchan!” Izuku’s heart turns to mush at the sound of his son’s adorable nickname for his sister, all too similar to Izuku’s for Katsuki.
“It was whatever,” Hibana says. “My team won, like usual.”
“Atta girl!” Katsuki calls from the kitchen.
Izuku sighs, wondering how he’s supposed to stop her from gaining a superiority complex when all Katsuki does is encourage her. “Good job, Hibana. Dinner’s almost ready, so how about you go take that shower.”
“Fine,” she huffs.
Izuku gets Naoki to help him set the table and lay out four plates. He makes him wash his hands first though. Naoki has a similar quirk to Katsuki’s, except he can make his sweat ignite even if it isn't on his body. The boy still hasn’t learned to control the nitroglycerin sweat in his hands, and Izuku doesn’t particularly want to taste any of that with his food.
He’s honestly surprised that the kids didn’t have each other's quirks. Hibana has a similar telekinesis quirk to Inko’s, much to the woman’s delight, and it’s quite powerful. If she does end up going to UA like she wants, she’s sure to be at the top of her class.
Naoki on the other hand is quite the pacifist, and though he likes the bright colors of his explosions, he constantly worries about accidentally hurting someone. Katsuki often spends evenings with him practicing, which the boy is always excited for.
Izuku’s pulled from his thoughts when Katsuki sets the delicious smelling oyakodan on the table. “Ah, always such a good housewife, Kacchan.” Izuku doesn’t call the man by his nickname that often anymore, but it never fails to make him blush.
“Shut the hell up, nerd.”
Naoki gasps before Izuku can respond. “Language, Daddy! What would Grandma Micchan say?”
“You shoulda heard what Micchan said to me growing up. Then you’d be more grateful.”
The three wait impatiently for Hibana to come out of the bathroom before digging into the food. They make easy conversation, and Izuku smiles. He loves his family so much. If only the rest of the world could see that.
—
It’s nearly one in the morning when Hibana wakes up thirsty. She quietly heads to the kitchen, gulping down an ice cold glass of water. Once she’s done she begins to creep back to her room, but her eyes catch on a magazine on the kitchen counter. She picks it up, and her jaw drops at the cover.
Smack dab at the center is her parents kissing in a car—which, gross—and above them is a headline declaring their infidelity. If one of her parents were to ever cheat on each other, it would have to be the work of a villain. They weren’t as sappy as they were when Hibana was younger, but their affection for each other is clear. How the fuck the world has missed it is beyond her.
She huffs, taking the magazine back to her room. She flicks on a lamp and reads through the article, snorting at some parts and frowning at others. These idiots don’t know the first thing about her parents! Who the hell thinks ‘Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight’ is the hero name of a straight man? Whatever, clearly something must be done.
Hibana can imagine her parents going to the news and straight up saying they aren’t married to anyone, keeping people even further in the dark about their relationship, and their children.
Logically, she knows they’re only trying to keep their family safe. People took too much from Deku and Dynamight when they were younger, and they shouldn’t get to take this from them too.
But the emotional part of her is upset because they never get to go anywhere as a family if they aren’t in disguise, and she doesn’t get to scream from the rooftops about how her parents are the best heroes this generation has ever seen.
Hibana bites her lip, contemplating. Then she picks up her phone from her bedside table, decked out with a Dynamight phone case—it was the only way her dad let her keep the phone that Uncle Shouto had bought for her birthday without his permission. She isn’t too mad about that though. He’s her favorite hero (don’t tell Papa), and the fact that it is one of a kind never fails to make the kids in her class jealous. If only they knew…
Before she can hesitate, she goes to her desk and plops into her chair before her notebook, still left open from the math equations she’d been struggling on earlier in the evening. She flips to the next page and rips it out. At the top she writes:
How to convince the world your parents aren’t cheating on their nonexistent wives
(title in progress)
Unfortunately, she has no ideas past that. Should she just start telling people that Deku and Dynamight are married? Hell no, her dads would kill her. Hibana groans. Maybe she should just make a freaking TikTok and start vlogging them when they aren’t looking.
Wait.
That just might work!