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Taekwoon’s usual expression, something of which that people liked to too often point out, was a glower. It wasn’t that he was angry – most of the time – but because people were so loud even though they weren’t speaking, it gave him a headache.
The receptionist in front of him was very much like that. Pen scribbling out hastily something she had written in the little description boxes, her mind was exceedingly chatty – whining about this and that. Taekwoon had to close his eyes in order to try and block it out. As usual, though, it didn’t work.
“So, Jung Taekwoon, nineteen, and you’re from…”
“The south.” Taekwoon supplied unhelpfully.
Smart-ass. “Yes,” she replied, staring at him over her moon-rimmed spectacles. She looked back and jotted down a note. “The south. And your guardian?”
Taekwoon turned, looking back to his fidgety mother, hair in a tight bun and frown as deep as his was. She jerked up when he gestured the receptionist with a tilt of his head, shuffling over.
“Y-Yes?” His mother's voice was nervous, and her thoughts even more so, but Taekwoon rested a hand on her arm to steady her. He wasn’t nervous, so she shouldn’t be.
“You need to sign for him. He is over-age, but institutions like this… there need to be emergency contacts, liabilities, next of kin, that kind of thing.” In case he dies. “Also that everything you have agreed to and the information you have supplied to us – and he has, is true,” from the best of your knowledge, “Sign here, here, and here.”
His mother glanced at him. Is this okay? What you really want?
Taekwoon nodded, and his mother’s eyes showed a newfound determination that he had always found admirable. He watched her sign the forms, watched how the receptionist snapped the forms up in her hands like a starved Venus fly trap. The ugly flower brooch pinned to her blazer seemed to spin on its own before his eyes; though perhaps Taekwoon had been lacking sleep and seeing things. It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Good, then Taekwoon is officially part of the Outlier institution. Here are some maps and introductory flyers,” like no one reads them anyway, he heard her think as she shoved crumpled brochures into his hands. “Grab your bags and say your farewells and you can go through the doors where you will be shown to your dorm.”
Taekwoon looked down at the brochures, then up to his mother, who looked teary but was obviously trying to hold it back. He could tell, too; all the thoughts bubbling up inside her. It was loud, but he was used to his mother’s idiosyncrasies – it wasn’t annoying.
“I’ll be fine, Ma,” Taekwoon reassured quietly, hand still on her arm.
“I—I know you will. You’re a smart boy. Just… remember to write to me.” Taekwoon nodded, and she did too, only for her face to crumple. Taekwoon brought her into his arms; her body small and spindly. Taekwoon held her gently. I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t provide a better place for--
“It’s not your fault,” Taekwoon murmured. “You have done a lot for me, and I am very grateful for it, but I just—“
His mother was already nodding, wiping tears underneath her eyes with her thumb. “I know, dear, I know you’re grateful.” She sniffled a little. “I just—I wish—“ I could have been better. I could still have you be my side. She eventually sighed, shaking her head, looking over at the doors. “I think you’ll be happy here. I want you to be happy.”
Taekwoon stared at her, not knowing what to say, and looked down at his shoes. It wasn’t guilt that made his stomach feel uneasy, but if it wasn’t guilt—what was it? “I want you to be happy too.” He replied quietly. “I want you to… to live your life now, without any thought of me and my… setbacks.”
You were never a setback—but Taekwoon kissed her on the cheek, taking her out of her thoughts. “I’ll write to you.” He promised. “Look after yourself.”
Her mother’s smile faltered for a second, but she nodded, clutching at her purse as if it was the only thing keeping her together. “Yes—I—you too.”
Taekwoon smiled, hand curling around the handle of his suitcase, pulling it along as he walked obediently over to the doors. They were hand-carved, full of magical runes he wasn’t too sure even worked anymore, though as he pressed his hand on it to push it open, the runes lit up a pretty purple for a moment before he walked through them.
The institution was old but somewhat homely. It wasn’t bright, but the colours where rich; mahoganies and forest greens, the old cream paint starting to chip off in some places. Taekwoon blinked, looking down at the scorch marks on the carpet. He should have expected things like this, but it still surprised him.
He hoped his room-mate wouldn’t burn his carpet. Whoever they were.
“Jung Taekwoon?” He blinked, looking in front of him, but not seeing anyone. He turned around, but again, he seemed to be alone. “Up here.”
Taekwoon looked up, and there was a boy with a clipboard, feet very firmly planted on the ceiling, black hair even pulled up towards his feet like some kind of reverse gravity.
Does he even speak? What if I got a kid who couldn’t speak? Jeez, that’s going to be really hard, I’m awful at sign language—
“Yes?”
Oh thank god, he speaks. The boy certainly lit up once Taekwoon spoke. Taekwoon looked as unimpressed as he certainly was, but watched how the boy seemed to change his own personal gravity, walking down the wall until he was on Taekwoon’s ground. He looked down at the clipboard. God, I haven’t done this in ages, what if he thinks I’m incompetent or something—his eyes are kind of scary. Oh, shit, he can probably hear me. Taekwoon sighed.
“So, you need to see the dorm.” The boy began, chewing on the edge of his ballpoint pen. “And your room-mate is… ah.” Well, he was bound to get another one. I wonder what he had to write on the form to get him of all people. The boy’s face twisted a bit, but with what emotion, Taekwoon couldn’t exactly tell. “And I’ll have to show you where we eat, and our common room is, and some of the classes you can take—“
“I’m sorry,” Taekwoon began, and the boy flinched out of his little speech.
“Oh, yes, did you need to know something first?”
“Who are you meant to be?”
The stranger’s eyes widened before he puffed his chest out a bit. He held out his hand for Taekwoon to take. Taekwoon didn’t particularly want to. “I’m Hakyeon! Cha Hakyeon. Welcome to Outlier.”
Taekwoon took Hakyeon’s hand just to be polite, watching the way his eyes curved when he smiled. He was handsome, in his own way. Hakyeon seemed very happy to introduce himself and shake someone’s hand, as if he’d made a new friend.
“So, because I am your host of sorts here, I know the reason why you’re an Outlier, but everyone other than the staff does not know what makes you special. The reason is not publically displayed, so you don’t have to have your ability to known if you don’t want it to.” Doesn’t stop some people from asking, though.
Taekwoon actually relaxed, some. He hadn’t realized he was so tense. He nodded, looking down at his flyers. Whoever had made them had clearly not taken a class in graphic design.
“So did you want to look around? I can show you the cafeteria—“
“No,” Taekwoon replied, looking up at Hakyeon again, his free hand taking the handle of his suitcase. “I’d like to go to my dorm.”
“Oh—oh of course.” Hakyeon eyed the suitcase briefly before turning on his heel. The guy probably doesn’t want anything to do with me. At least he didn’t get Jaehwan as a host; it’s not like I have a chance of blowing up.
Taekwoon made a mental note to steer clear of Jaehwan.
“So your dorm room is actually up in one of the towers,” Hakyeon explained, and Taekwoon’s eyes widened a little bit. “They’re usually reserved for people who need to be in a bigger room, be more isolated,” or have an innate desire to be. Hakyeon tapped the clipboard with his pen. “I don’t have the reason why they put you up there, but I’m—I’m assuming…” Hakyeon looked back, a little wary, thoughts suddenly very anxious. “You don’t like crowds?”
Taekwoon nodded once, and Hakyeon looked away, nodding to himself.
“That makes sense.” Hakyeon then stopped, abruptly, and Taekwoon’s shoes skidded a little against the worn carpet. Hakyeon was fidgeting, and Taekwoon held his hand out before Hakyeon even displayed what it was.
“Your keys,” Hakyeon barely reacted to Taekwoon already knowing. “If you don’t look after them they will run away. There’s a fee if you lose them.”
“Run away?” Taekwoon murmured, eyes wide and looking down. He startled a little bit, as the key was fuzzy to the touch, and an orange eye opened at the handle, pupil staring back at him. Taekwoon almost dropped it. His jaw clenched; he didn’t particularly want to ask what it was either.
“This is the door to your tower.” Hakyeon explained then, tapping against it with his hand. “It’s quite the climb,” but that’s what you get when you are picky, I guess, “but it shouldn’t take too long. I’ll see you soon, I imagine! If you need me, your room-mate will know where my dorm is located.”
Taekwoon nodded, opening the door and walking in, sighing a little in relief as Hakyeon’s thoughts were already slightly muffled. It wasn’t that Hakyeon was rude – compared to a lot of people, Hakyeon’s inner thoughts were very kind – but the guy never seemed to stop chattering, and sometimes it was hard to listen to on top of his actual voice. Even now. Taekwoon sighed, the air and dust thick as he looked up to see stairs spiraling up to a point he could barely see. He looked back down at the stairs in front of him, gripping on the suitcase with a newfound conviction.
Well, he supposed Hakyeon was right; this is what he got for asking for isolation.
The trek up the stairs was more than annoying with the suitcase. Even though Taekwoon had packed pretty light considering he planned to live here, it was still a weight that had him having to drop the bag and swap hands after every few flights.
He thought of his mother, how upset she looked when she asked Taekwoon to write to him, how her thoughts told Taekwoon that she thought Taekwoon wouldn’t write to her. He felt bad, that his own mother would think of him that way, but he supposed it was easy to come to that conclusion. He was raised to the best of her ability, and with someone like Taekwoon, sometimes that is all that could be done. Taekwoon had no animosity against her; he loved her very much, but as he climbed up the stairs, he knew this was perhaps for the best.
There was a window, half-way up, and Taekwoon stopped to peer out, fingers trailing down to rid the dust off the glass. It was still dreary outside, clouds a metal gray, though despite the weather he could tell how beautiful the institution was.
It was almost gothic in design; the towers alone told him just how old it was. It was a small window, so he wasn’t able to see much, but he was sure he could see beautiful fields and parks below, and the magical dome around the building that slightly warped the mountains in the horizon. Taekwoon turned and kept going.
Eventually, he got there, fishing out the keys he had pocketed. The eye stared back at him again, and he felt it move under his skin, and Taekwoon flinched. The end of the key actually seemed to be his teeth. He wondered if his keys ate anything. Carefully, he slid the key into the keyhole, cringing a little as he did so, turning it into something within the door clicked. He pushed the door open, carefully pulling the key out and putting it on the first surface he saw; a little table with a half-eaten sandwich.
Ah, he took his time.
Taekwoon blinked up as he slowly closed the door behind him with a soft click. A boy around his age was standing by the window, wearing a fitted turtleneck and long black pants, tucked into large, metal boots with several clasps and bolts. Taekwoon found himself staring at them for a moment; they surely couldn’t be comfortable.
“Hello,” His room-mate spoke much deeper than his boyish features made Taekwoon assume. Round eyes but a square jaw, full lips and hair that curled softly around his head, the tips floating and slightly swaying. The window was wide open, the chill making Taekwoon shiver. What’s this guy’s problem? “Do you not talk?” Not that I really care. Preferable, really.
“Yes.” Taekwoon snapped, squinting at the boy before he walked in properly. It was a single, very large, circular room, with wide windows, bookshelves, soft rugs. A kitchen to the side adorned a microwave and a small fridge. Taekwoon’s eyes followed up another flight of stairs that curved up against the wall to another floor.
“The beds are up there. We don’t get separate rooms, just separate beds.” It’s a real fucking shame.
Taekwoon couldn’t help but smirk a bit.
“What’s so funny?”
Taekwoon looked up to see the boy staring at him, but Taekwoon found it all too easy to stare back. The boy was hardly threatening despite the piercing gaze. He was waify, pretty, even, almost like a flower. “Nothing.” Taekwoon almost drawled. He looked around again, taking in the plants draped against the window sills.
Great. I got one with an attitude. “What’re you in here for? You seem pretty normal.”
Taekwoon’s gaze lowered to his. “People are too loud for their own good.”
“What, so you have exceptional hearing?” The boy turned, closing the window without looking at it. He picked up a book from the window sill, and Taekwoon watched as his roommate's shoes clunked heavily against the old floorboards as he walked towards the bookshelf.
Taekwoon frowned. “Something like that.”
Ooh, what a fucking mystery. The boy’s thoughts were certainly entertaining as much as it was dripping with sarcasm, but at the moment, Taekwoon didn’t want much of it. “There’s no real point hiding it from me if we are to be living together.”
“Hakyeon –“ Taekwoon frowned. Well, Hakyeon didn’t really, but he did in an indirect way. “told me you go through a lot of roommates.”
“Sure do.” He replied easily, and Taekwoon watched his pale fingers slide the book in between others. The books all seemed alphabetically ordered. “Hakyeon’s your host?” The boy smiled a little for the first time, a dimple creasing his cheek. “I feel sorry for him. They give him all the difficult people because he’s so nice.”
“Did you have him?” Taekwoon replied, slowly sitting down on one of the armchairs by the shelves. His legs hurt from climbing the stairs. The boy slid him a small look, that told him what he thought: The boy thinks he’s funny. “No. I’ve been here longer than Hakyeon. Even from a young age, I couldn’t do—how do you say… the… pretending thing.”
Taekwoon frowned, not really understanding, but the boy had seemingly decided to humor him, sitting down on the armchair opposite. “Tell me,” he began, hands searching for something in the crevices of the armchair. He had found it, and it was a buckle attached by a belt; he strapped himself into the seat against his hips as if he were in a car. “What did you put on your form? About… room-mate preferences.”
“I asked for no room-mate at all,” Taekwoon responded bluntly, and the boy smiled.
How amusing. “I think we might get along,” he seemingly decided out loud, looking over to the window as if it was more interesting than Taekwoon. “As long as you don’t bother me too much. I’m Lee Hongbin.”
“Taekwoon.”
Hongbin nodded once.
“You look normal too, besides the boots.”
Hongbin sighed; the sound very labored. Here we go. “Yes, they are the bane of my current existence. Unfortunately it is a necessary bane, otherwise, I will float away.”
“Float away?”
Hongbin smirked again. “Yes. I am an Outlier because I am weightless. I cannot go outside because I will not be able to come back down and I will continue to ascend into the sky.” Taekwoon watched as Hongbin’s hand mimicked the motion of himself floating up, raising the hand over his head. It was whimsical in nature. Hongbin was gazing at his hand, his thoughts curiously blank for a moment. He blinked. “Like a helium balloon.”
“Do you stay in here?”
“Yes. I am well-accustomed to staying inside. I do not trust anyone to take me out there, and my boots are very expensive, so I cannot take them on the outside.” Lest they be damaged by an idiot, like Lee Jaehwan.
Taekwoon didn’t really understand, though didn’t inquire about why Hongbin would need to trust someone in order for him to go outside.
“Are you going to tell me what your reason is for being here?” Hongbin blurted, squinting at Taekwoon. “Everyone is always so secretive at first, I never see the point. We are all here until we die or are able to pretend again.” Pretend we’re not different.
Taekwoon was quickly realizing that Hongbin said everything he thought, anyway, and for some reason, it was quite refreshing. Taekwoon glanced over at the fire place, mantel adorned with snow globes of different cities. He wet his lips, nervous all of a sudden. He hated telling people what was wrong with him. He wasn’t used to it. He wasn’t used to the idea of knowing that everyone was going to know how he was different after living his life keeping it so hidden.
“I can read verbal, coherent thought.” Well, somewhat coherent, Taekwoon thought bitterly.
Holy shit. “You can read minds?”
Taekwoon sighed. “Well, no, it’s different than that—“
Hongbin was laughing, and it surprised Taekwoon how much Hongbin’s face changed when it did, how wide his mouth got, how his whole body moved as it did. It was like a different version of the boy before him. A boy who didn’t scowl. “Fuck, I’m going to have no privacy at all.” He looked at the ceiling, slightly exasperated.
Taekwoon shrugged, looking down at his hands. His shoulders raised a bit, his voice going quieter. “You say what you think usually.”
“And you can’t – like, ignore it? Block it out?”
“No.” Taekwoon looked as grim as he felt.
I suppose if he could ignore it he wouldn’t be here, he heard Hongbin think. His eyes widened with realization then; of course. “You hate crowds, so of course, normal dorm life wouldn’t be for you. You’d keep hearing what was in the next room.”
Taekwoon nods, and Hongbin smiled slowly.
“But you got stuck with me instead of a life of solitude.”
“It’s not that I crave solitude. Just quiet.”
How tragic. What a tragic boy. Hongbin gave a sly smile. Can you hear me?
Taekwoon looked very unimpressed. “Obviously.”
Hongbin tilted his head, looking at him, and Taekwoon’s gaze lifted to meet his.
“I’ll give you a go,” Hongbin said quietly. “I do not usually give my room-mates a chance, so consider yourself lucky.”
Taekwoon blinked. He didn’t know whether to be grateful or not. “Thank you,” he mumbled.
--
He’s folding his clothes now all nice and neat but let’s see what they’re like in a week. Taekwoon looked up at Hongbin with a flat stare as Hongbin smiled and feigned innocence. Clunking boots and all, he shuffled to his bed, which was made and tucked in until Hongbin pulled the blankets out from under the mattress. Taekwoon lowered his gaze to Hongbin’s mattress to see unclasped belts underneath, the leather worn. He put down his folded shirt into the drawer and closed it shut, gently lowering himself onto his own, adjacent bed.
Great, now he’s going to think I’m into some kinky stuff—shit, he can hear me, shit. Fuck. Taekwoon couldn’t help but smile, just a little, as Hongbin hid his face from Taekwoon, doing his best to sit down on the bed as weightless as he was. He held on to one of the belts as he single-handedly unclasped his boots.
It was like magic the way Hongbin automatically began to float up, which to Taekwoon, the thought was ridiculous because in a way it was. Taekwoon was reminded of astronauts in zero gravity, how Hongbin held on to the belt against the bed with a beautiful grace. Hongbin, however, struggled, pushing himself to the mattress, his thoughts suddenly self-deprecating to the point it surprised Taekwoon.
He managed to pull himself down but wasn’t able to grab the other belt in time before his torso began to float up again. Taekwoon lurched forwards, wanting to help.
Don’t touch me. Taekwoon flinched, and almost cowered back. Hongbin glanced up at him briefly – and Taekwoon heard him mentally mutter a vague apology before he eventually was able to tie himself down across the pelvis to the bed.
He sighed in relief, and he was tying his feet too, pulling the blanket over his hips. He sat against the headboard like that, reaching over and taking a book at his bedside table. It was a title Taekwoon didn’t recognize, but the Author seemed familiar. Taekwoon lay down himself after shimmying out of his pants, looking over to the window as Hongbin began to read to himself.
It was so high, their bedroom; their tower looked over everything. Other than the sound of Hongbin’s thoughts reading to himself, it was strange for the world to be so quiet. The stars were bright, too, and Taekwoon felt like he could so easily get lost in time, like this. His eyes slid closed, head against the pillow, and relished in his mind being so calm, with only one other voice besides his own to hear.
After a while, Taekwoon spoke. “I think I’ve read this.”
“Huh?” Hongbin mumbled, glancing over. Taekwoon didn’t answer, and so Hongbin mulled over what Taekwoon had said before he looked back over to the yellowing pages. “Oh, you… can hear me reading it in my head?”
“Yeah.”
Hongbin paused; Taekwoon could hear his mind ticking. Really, Hongbin’s inner thoughts weren’t always to blunt and sarcastic. It was a little relieving to Taekwoon; it took a lot of energy to deal with snarky people sometimes.
“Does it bother you?”
Taekwoon blinked, surprised by the question. He looked over, and they met eyes for a moment. “No, it’s fine.”
Hongbin gave a sigh of relief. That’s good. “Good, because there would be a big problem if I couldn’t read anymore.” It’s all I have.
Taekwoon simply smiled softly. “It’s fine,” he closed his eyes again. “Your reading voice is much nicer than others I’ve heard. You wouldn’t believe how some people read to themselves.”
“Do they change the pitch of their inner voice to characters when they’re reading to themselves?” What if they imagined Nicolas Cage reading it? Hongbin thought to himself.
Taekwoon almost snorted, but settled for a soft laugh. “Yeah, sometimes.”
“Man,” that’s really cool. “I know it’d get really annoying but… that’s cool, in it’s own way. That you can… hear that, I mean. I bet you have a lot of stories.”
Taekwoon nods, eyes still closed.
I wonder if he’s heard people lust over him, like, if you’re trying to hook up with people it’d be great because you would automatically know if they’re into you or not.
“It is more of the issue of whether I want to be with them, and the answer for the majority of the time is no.” Hongbin made a little disgruntled noise when he realized Taekwoon was answering his thoughts.
Hongbin’s book was forgotten now. “Do people’s thoughts often put you off from getting laid?”
Taekwoon sighed, the sound very exasperated. “Why are we talking about this.”
Just answer the question.
“Yes, they do. Thoughts are meant to be private and they often cannot be controlled, so I try not to judge people for it, but…” Taekwoon opened his eyes, looking up at the ceiling. “… most of the time I just … can’t. People repulse me too much.”
“Do I repulse you?”
Taekwoon looked over at Hongbin; it took him a while to answer. Hongbin’s inner thoughts were so loud it felt difficult to speak over them. They were strangely self-conscious again, and it was so unlike his snarky persona when they met earlier today.
“No.” He answered honestly. Hongbin’s thoughts quietened and Taekwoon was able to relax his muscles some. Hongbin said nothing in return and simply lifted his book back up and continued to read.
Taekwoon fell asleep, lulled by Hongbin’s reading voice.
~~
When Taekwoon woke up, Hongbin was already out of bed. Judging by his thoughts, he was having some kind of difficulty in the kitchen; something to do with cheese. Taekwoon groaned, rolling out of bed. He walked into some slippers and made his way downstairs, still rubbing the sleep from the corner of his eyes.
Hongbin was hunched over the kitchen counter, and he had an iPad propped up against the wall where an old lady was preparing some kind of meal. At the sound of Taekwoon’s slipper against the kitchen tile, Hongbin’s head raised, his body turning a little awkwardly.
“Good morning,” Hongbin said, though as if it were anything but. Dark circles weighed down his cheeks. Taekwoon smiled a little.
“Did you not sleep?”
Do I look that bad? Asshole. “Not really. The book was good, so…” Hongbin brightened the gas flame underneath his saucepan, holding a spatula with the other. He squinted back at the iPad. So many fucking ingredients, this was meant to be a cheap breakfast…
“What are you cooking?”
A nightmare. “Just a… I dunno. New recipe, most of hers are pretty good. I got the notification in the middle of the night and wanted to make it since.” But out of the goodness of my heart I didn’t because of you.
Taekwoon scoffed under his breath. “How kind.”
Hongbin flinched a little. It’s really creepy can he stop doing that--
“If I could I wouldn’t be here,” Taekwoon replied, voice drawling a little. He looked around interestingly.
“Stop it,” Hongbin grumbled. Taekwoon just stared at him for a few moments before turning and opening up the door to the pantry. Hongbin flinched in his peripheral sight.
That’s my food it is not communal I don’t want him to eat it what is he doing—Hongbin’s thoughts were so fast and panicky that Taekwoon had to close his eyes. He sighed, closing the pantry door. “Then where can I get my own food?”
“Didn’t Hakyeon tell you?”
“No.”
“Oh, well it’s – you have to go to the communal pantry and get the food there and bring it back up. It’s re-stocked a few times a week but for fresh produce, you have to go out to the gardens.” But I get Sanghyuk to bring it up because he owes me and he doesn’t have to take several trips.
Taekwoon scrunched up his nose. Hongbin laughed a little, eyes sparkling. “Yeah, that was my reaction too. You better go do it though, so you can eat something.” Hongbin made a dismissive motion with his hand. Let me have my alone time.
Taekwoon squinted at Hongbin for a moment, before shaking his head and leaving to go change.
“Oh, and get me some cheese while you’re at it!” If he gets me the cheap shit I’m going to fill his pillow with rocks.
--
Taekwoon realized – clutching the brochure he had acquired yesterday that included a map - that in order to get to the pantry, it meant he had to walk past the general dormitory area.
As if those swirling stairs in the tower weren’t bad enough.
Holy shit do you reckon if I—
Man if I don’t get noodles right now I’m gonna--
Left, right, left, left, fuck, I can’t do it--
A permanent frown was etched upon Taekwoon’s features as he walked through the hallways; resident’s thoughts slipping in and out as he walked. It reminded him of high school, how loud everything was, how random and unintelligent people’s thoughts seemed to be, how self-entitled they were. In high school, Taekwoon had a constant headache, so it was a huge relief to be told that he could do home schooling instead.
Finally, he got to what appeared to be one of the communal kitchens, which appeared to be, basically, a large island of stove-tops and ovens with counter-tops bordering the walls. Taekwoon was met with two boys standing over a pot, one incredibly nervous with his hand before him, a tiny flame flickering over his fingertip.
He just needs confidence in himself. He can do it, just do it. “I’m right here, Jaehwan.”
Jaehwan, the one staring at his own flaming finger, nodded, slowly reaching down and underneath the pot to where the unlit gas flames were. There was a silence, and then there was a flash of blue; the gas had been sparked safely.
Taekwoon remembered that someone had mentioned that Jaehwan had a tendency to explode and it must have been true because there was a ridiculous amount of relief on both their faces and thoughts.
The taller, supportive boy looked up, noticing Taekwoon gawking at them in the hallway.
Who is he? I don’t think I’ve met him. I hope I haven’t, that’d be awkward. “Hey,” he piped, his voice rumbling low. Jaehwan looked up at the boy before following his gaze to Taekwoon, his wide eyes only somehow getting bigger. “I don’t think I’ve met you before.”
“No,” Taekwoon replied easily, taking a step forward to the large door in the corner. According to the map, it was the pantry.
“What’s your name?” What is he in for? Jaehwan asked. Taekwoon sighed; he supposed that’s what really everyone wanted to know.
“Taekwoon.”
“Taekwoon?” Taekwoon? Taekwoon, Taekwoon, Taekwoon. Jaehwan looked up at the other boy, frowning. “I think I’ve heard that before—someone told me—anyway! I’m Jaehwan, and this is Wonshik! We’re dating.”
Wonshik spluttered. Why did he need to say that--
“Great to know,” Taekwoon mumbled to himself, opening up the pantry door. He was met with what appeared to be what looked like a small grocery store. Taekwoon was very pleased.
Jaehwan followed him, forgetting about the cooking pot, and Wonshik turned it to a quiet simmer before going after him.
He doesn’t talk much. He seems kind of bratty. I don’t think he’ll want to be friends once he knows about me. “Are you new?” Jaehwan called out.
“Relatively.”
Taekwoon couldn’t see, because he was reading the back of a jar of bolognese sauce, but Jaehwan frowned, only stepping closer. Taekwoon really wished he wouldn’t; Jaehwan’s thoughts were loud enough. “I recommend the other sauce.”
“Jaehwan, I think he’s his room-mate.“
“Huh? Whose?”
Wonshik gave him a flat stare. “Hongbin. Hakyeon was telling us that he had a new room-mate, remember?” God help him, another one. He must be sick of how fast he goes through them.
“Oh, oh right!” Jaehwan replied brightly, and Wonshik’s face softened.
Taekwoon was already in the next aisle. He had found a basket and had not chosen the sauce Jaehwan had recommended. He was pulling faces to himself hearing Wonshik gushing in his head about how beautiful he thought Jaehwan was; coarse bleached-blonde hair and all. He felt very lucky to be up in that tower.
Taekwoon collected what seemed the most obvious for now; rice, chicken, milk, eggs, noodles, bread, butter, off-brand bolognese sauce. Wonshik and Jaehwan talked amongst themselves since they had deemed that it would be cruel to keep trying to talk to Taekwoon who was so obviously trying to escape. Honestly, Taekwoon was thankful for it. Jaehwan seemed very outgoing and borderline obnoxious, but his thoughts were generally gentle, and Wonshik also seemed kind. As he left, he decided that they were likable.
--
“Did you get the cheese?”
Oh shit. “Uh…”
The last one got me the shitty frozen stuff. This one completely forgets. “Good for nothing,” Hongbin mumbles, turning away with a clunk of his boots. Though as he walks away, Hongbin thinks, it’s fine though, it’ll taste probably better without cheese anyway. Don’t worry, Taekwoon.
Taekwoon smiles a little.
--
“I met Wonshik and Jaehwan,” Taekwoon mentions quietly, draped across the couch while reading some of the brochures. There were lots of clubs, and considering Taekwoon didn’t have any plans on leaving, perhaps he should look into a couple.
“I’m surprised your hair isn’t singed,” Hongbin replied, and as Taekwoon looked over, he was smirking a little over his book. He turned a page nonchalantly.
“He is kind,” Taekwoon didn’t know why he felt the need to defend him, but he did, and it made him frown himself.
He is. Doesn’t mean he isn’t dangerous, though.
“What is Wonshik in here for?”
“Wonshik can manipulate oxygen. He’s been here for a long time, so now he can actually control it so everyone in the room doesn’t start passing out.”
Taekwoon blinks slowly. “How long?”
Hongbin looked up, pressing his mouth together. Surely he knows what happens when you come underneath the magic dome. “Fifty years.”
“Fifty—? He looks… he looks twenty, at best. Unless…”
“People don’t age, here. We remain stagnant – didn’t anyone tell you?”
Taekwoon’s lips parted in surprise. He felt a little sheepish, eyes darting back to the brochures. “I—I thought—it was a joke or something…”
Hongbin just gave a little scoff. “The owner of this place is an Outlier himself. Apparently, he has a terrible fear of aging, so he got some spell-casters to enchant the institution. It also gives most Outliers an almost infinite time to get better and go back into society, if they wish. The world around them has changed so much, though, so some simply stay.”
“You said Wonshik could control his powers, why doesn’t he leave?”
Hongbin looked up, and he sighed, readjusting himself on the recliner. His boots were propped up and a belt was fastened over his hips. “He fell in love with Jaehwan.”
Taekwoon pursed his lips in distaste. Hongbin gave a little laugh.
“Why, you don’t think that’s a good reason?”
Taekwoon slid him a glare. “Being in a room with them both is terrible. Their thoughts…”
Hongbin looked over his book, immediately interested.
Taekwoon sighed, very labored. “Jaehwan is one of the horniest people I’ve come across.”
Hongbin burst out into laughter, causing Taekwoon to startle and look over. Hongbin was beautiful.
--
“You come down here a lot,” Taekwoon startled a little to hear Wonshik’s voice. He had barely seen him, let alone heard his thoughts. He had dragged a stool over to one of the stovetops, sitting and watching his food cook in the pot. Taekwoon watched him for a few moments.
“So do you.”
Wonshik’s face softened. That isn’t quite the same. “I don’t have a kitchen in my room, but you do.”
“Ah,” Taekwoon slowly puts the spaghetti in his own pot on the stovetop opposite. “So you’ve been… in our tower, then?”
“Yeah, Hongbin and I are friends.” Wonshik immediately frowned. Well, as close as you can get with being friends with Hongbin. “We’ve known each other for a long time, any who.”
Taekwoon wanted to ask how long, but Wonshik was looking back at his pot, lifting the lid and peering inside. Judging by his face, it didn’t appear to be done yet.
“Where’s your shadow?”
Wonshik blinked. “Shadow?” Oh, he means Jaehwan, doesn’t he? How could Jaehwan be my shadow… Jaehwan shines like the sun. “You mean Jaehwan? He’s asleep. He really needs it, so I slipped out to eat.”
“You love him.” Taekwoon murmured; more of a statement than a question. He saw Wonshik’s face colours in the dim light, heard Wonshik’s thoughts confess the fact almost helplessly.
I love everything about him. “Yeah he—makes me happy.” He looked up at Taekwoon, a little shy, laughing quietly in embarrassment. Wonshik’s hands fidgeted a little. I wonder if he has any feelings for Hongbin. I want Hongbin to find someone. Does he love him? Are they romantically involved?
“We’re not.”
Wonshik startled. “What?”
“We’re not romantically involved.”
Wonshik spluttered, reeling back a bit as he slapped a hand over his mouth. Holy shit did I—“Did I say that out loud?”
Taekwoon blinked. He supposed Wonshik hadn’t. Oops. Taekwoon sighed. “No, you didn’t.”
No way. Wonshik gawked. “So you can—“
“I can read minds, yes. That’s why I’m here because I can’t help it.”
“You can see people’s thoughts? Like, even memories and stuff? Or…” Has he been reading my mind this whole time? Holy shit – I – what if I thought of something really bad, oh god. I hope he doesn’t tell anyone.
“No, just coherent thought. I can’t see images.”
Wonshik looked relieved some, but still a little on edge. “I-I see,” he said shakily, having to look away before his eyes returned to Taekwoon. “Hey, um, then… can I ask you something?” I wonder if he knows…
Taekwoon slid the mince onto the saucepan. “Sure.”
“Does Jaehwan love me?” He’s read Jaehwan’s thoughts, right?
Taekwoon looked up, surprised by the question. He has to look down, feeling his cheeks warm a little. “He does, very much so.”
Wonshik beamed to himself like a love-struck fool.
--
Taekwoon was told there weren’t many people in the fencing club. Taekwoon particularly enjoyed fencing; being able to predict the person’s next move certainly didn’t hurt either, and the days had begun to become a little dull staying in the tower all day. It wasn’t that he disliked Hongbin – not at all, he enjoyed his company – but it wasn’t fun to stay at home all day, every day.
He got there early, nervous as usual, but the lead of the fencing club –Eunji, she said her name was – seemed particularly chirpy and very happy to see him. Her smile was supposed to be reassuring, but it had felt like such a long time that Taekwoon had willingly let himself meet new people his stomach was threatening to twist upside down.
“We don’t have that big of a club –“ Eunji began to explain. Not big enough! I still have to think of ways to recruit more members… “Not compared to the soccer club anyway, but they should all be coming soon— oh, I think, that’s them!”
Taekwoon could hear them before Eunji had noticed, but a feeling of dread was already washing over him. He could hear more and more muffled thoughts begin to flood his mind as they grew closer. Taekwoon tried to shake it away – Eunji had said they only had a small club, but voices kept on piling over his own, anxious thoughts.
Outliers began to enter the gymnasium, and Taekwoon began to go pale. He began to count, one, two, three, four, five—and then he lost count, as groups began to come in, boys and girls, all ages, all personalities, all in his head, and Taekwoon could hear Eunji’s voice somewhere in there, a bee among what felt like hundreds buzzing in his head. Not buzzing. Screaming.
They stung and swarmed, and suddenly Taekwoon’s knees ached, but he barely had the brain capacity to realize he had crumpled onto the floor. He couldn’t do this, he still couldn’t, not with this many people. Hands were touching him, shaking him, voices and thoughts, loud.
Taekwoon’s screaming; louder.
--
Taekwoon stirred.
“Thank god, he’s awake,” Hakyeon’s shoulders slumped, before twisting his body to yell at him. “Hongbin! He’s woken up!”
Taekwoon grimaced and Hakyeon immediately spun back to Taekwoon, worry evident all over his features. “Oh, I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to yell, I was just—really relieved—you’ve been out for a couple of hours… your brain must have gotten so exhausted…” Poor thing, he can’t help it either. It’s not like he can wear a hat to cover the signals or something…
Taekwoon sat up a little and a towel fell off his forehead, plopping on his lap. Taekwoon stared at it and squinted.
Hakyeon sighed as he explained. “You were in a cold sweat, like a fever, almost, so—“ Taekwoon had tried to sit up further, and Hakyeon only tried to push him down. “Please rest!”
Taekwoon glared at him though slumped back, resigned. “Where’s Hongbin?” He mumbled.
“He was getting us tea,” Hakyeon murmured quietly, looking at Taekwoon. Hakyeon looked troubled. “Eunji said that she was really sorry.” But in her defense, a club with fifty people is considered small for the institution.
There was no mistaking the clunks of Hongbin’s boots as he ventured up the stairs, holding a tray of tea. He eventually settled beside Taekwoon on a stool, and there was even a custom-built seatbelt that he locked himself into after putting the tray down on the bedside table. Hongbin’s face softened now he was able to look at Taekwoon, leaning over his lap slightly.
“How are you feeling?” He’s okay.
The amount of gentle concern Hongbin had for him took Taekwoon back a bit. Taekwoon considered how he felt for a moment. “I have a headache.”
Hongbin just nodded, reaching over to the tea tray and popping some painkillers out of their packets. Tea in the other hand, he offered both to Taekwoon. “Here,” he murmured.
Taekwoon took them gratefully, grimacing a little as he put the tea down. Hongbin’s face settled into a gentle smile.
“Don’t like the tea, huh?”
Taekwoon frowned, almost grumpy. “I prefer coffee.”
Hongbin laughed quietly to himself, and Taekwoon had to pull his eyes away. Hongbin’s smile was like a spell that kept him entranced, kept him in awe, kept you thinking. Taekwoon licked his lips nervously, his mouth dry, so he took the tea from the side table and drank it anyway in tiny sips.
Worried, I’m worried, I hope he’s okay, but at least he has colour in his cheeks now… Hongbin was thinking to himself, hands clutched at his lap. He looked up at Taekwoon again, eyes searching. So that should be a good sign. He’s so sweet, like this, though. He can be such a jackass so it’s weird to see him so…
Taekwoon’s eyes met his, as if to dare Hongbin to finish his sentence. Hongbin’s cheeks coloured, looking away. Hongbin unbuckled himself and stood up, then, sighing shakily. “A-Anyway, you should sleep properly once the medication kicks in. It’ll be good.”
Taekwoon was silent, looking up at Hongbin until he finally murmurs a: “Goodnight.”
Hongbin smiled. “Goodnight, Taekwoon.”
--
“I’ve never seen you like that.”
Hongbin flinched over his book. He’d allowed Hakyeon to stay over in case Taekwoon needs help walking in the middle of the night or something. Honestly, he was just glad for some company. For some reason, seeing Taekwoon brought into their room passed out in a stretcher, trembling and sweating had him shaken up more than it perhaps should have. “Seen me like what?”
Hakyeon closed the book he had been skimming through. He dog-eared the page and Hongbin flinched. “I don’t know, gentle.”
Hongbin squinted. “How kind.”
Hakyeon sighed, even letting the book rest on the coffee table. “I’ve never seen you… soft with someone. Care for someone, like that.”
“I care for you.” Hongbin retorted, but Hongbin didn’t need Taekwoon’s ability to read what Hakyeon was thinking. Hakyeon’s unimpressed look gave enough away.
“Not like that, though. You wouldn’t hover over my bed like a bad smell and fret if I came in passed out.”
Hongbin looked at him, then down to his book. He supposed he wouldn’t. “I guess so.”
“So?”
“So what?”
Hakyeon’s lips pursed. “Are you really going to have me say it?”
Hongbin frowned, looking up at him. “Say what,”
Hakyeon had to look up at the ceiling for a moment in order to calm himself. Hongbin scowled; Hakyeon was always one to be melodramatic.
“Do you, you know, like him? Like that? Like, like like?”
“I refuse to talk with you as if we are teenagers, Hakyeon.” Hongbin scoffed, eyes returning to his book, skillfully avoiding the subject.
“Do you have feelings for him?” Hakyeon said, slightly louder for a second. Hongbin hissed at him, looking up at the ceiling where Taekwoon was dozing above. Hakyeon looked smug as Hongbin looked increasingly flustered.
“I think of him fondly.”
“Hongbin…”
“I don’t know!” Hongbin huffed, exasperated, eyes wider than Hakyeon had ever seen them. “I don’t know! It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that way about someone! I don’t know what it’s meant to feel like…”
“Do you trust him?” Hakyeon asked much quieter this time. Hongbin looked over, lips parted to answer but no sound came out.
Hongbin thought about it. “More than…” Hongbin began, nervous. “More than I probably should.”
Finally, Hakyeon let it go.
--
“So how long have you been here?” Taekwoon asks one day, a month in. The question had been on the back of his mind since he was told it was true; he doesn’t age when in the Institution. It was cold today, and Hongbin wore a sweater thin and faded with age. Taekwoon wondered how you could get new clothes if you wanted them.
Hongbin looked up from their game of chess. Why does he want to know, why does he care. “Does it matter?”
Taekwoon blinks. “Well, not really, but I am curious. I’ve asked all your questions.”
Not all of them. Hongbin frowned. He moved the queen, but Taekwoon had already seen it coming and counter-acted it before it had even happened. Taekwoon always won games of chess because he knew what the other person was thinking, so he wondered why Hongbin kept playing with him.
Why do I have to say, should I say it? I suppose I owe it to him. God damn it. “Do you know how old… this building is?”
“No idea, are you that old?” Taekwoon queried, tone innocent but eyes teasing. He moved his knight.
Hongbin shot him a glare, looking back down at the chess board. “Older.”
“That’s helpful.”
Hongbin sighed. I wish he’d stop being such a smartass. I hate telling anyone about Dad. “The owner of the institution is my father. He began building when I was two and set up the dome when I turned twenty. I’ve been here ever since.”
Taekwoon stared at Hongbin for a moment, chess board forgotten. “I—but I’ve been here a month, and I’ve never seen him—“
“We’re not on good terms,” Hongbin replied casually, taking one of Taekwoon’s pawns with his queen. “I see him once a year or so, and when you’re four hundred years old, it’s not much time.”
“Ah…”
He thinks differently of me. I’ve done something wrong. What if he’s disgusted--
“Hongbin,” and Taekwoon felt uneasy about the way Hongbin flinched. “I don’t think of you any differently. In fact, it answers a lot.”
“A lot?” What’s that supposed to mean?
“You do things like washing your clothes by hand, but like the super old-fashioned way. And you’ve read so many books and know so much about history—so it—it makes sense, I guess. And why you’ve gone through so many room-mates.”
Hongbin went a little pink. He looked down at the chessboard, a little coy. His voice was small. “And it really doesn’t bother you?”
“Well it’s—it’s a surprise, but it doesn’t… bother me.” Taekwoon watched as Hongbin’s pretty mouth curved up in a small smile. He nibbled on his bottom lip, and Taekwoon listened to how… happy and almost giddy his mind was. It’s okay, he’s okay. He was relieved.
“I—I’m surprised I never knew, though… you… never thought about it. I had no idea.”
“I don’t really think about my troubles when I’m with you,” Hongbin gestured the chessboard, hands a little shaky. Taekwoon did as he was told, having his turn. He makes me feel better, like I don’t have to worry, I like not having to worry. I like having him around. Please don’t leave.
“You’ll…” Hongbin’s breath was a little shaky. “stay, right?” With me?
With you, Taekwoon thought to himself, surprised by his words. “Yeah,” he replied softly, and Hongbin was pleased, nodding, the anxiety in his mind calming some.
--
Taekwoon never thought he would ever find a couple making out in a strawberry patch, but he did. Truthfully, he knew they were around somewhere because he could hear it, so his plan was to grab some fruit and run off. Only for them to be amongst the fruit.
Jaehwan sat up as soon as he realized someone was nearby, kiss-swollen mouth parted in pants. He looked up at Taekwoon and grinned.
“Get off my dick—“ Wonshik whined, squirming against the dirt. It hurts, it hurts. “You’re sitting on it.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time—“ Haha I’m hilarious.
Taekwoon made a face when Wonshik spluttered and Jaehwan laughed, realizing it would be better for everyone if he didn’t have strawberries today. Jaehwan was climbing off, though, feet now on the grass, patting the dirt off his pants. Wonshik groaned and rubbed his back as he sat up and looked over grumpily.
“Taekwoonie—“
“Please don’t call me that,” Taekwoon grumbled, turning around and knowing Jaehwan’s waify figure was stumbling after him.
I wonder if they’ve made out yet. At the very least. “You’ve lasted a whole two months living with Hongbin, I’m impressed.” They’re probably fucking. I hope so. Hongbin doesn’t get laid, I wonder how he would get laid? Would he have to strap himself down?
Taekwoon looked away, having to close his eyes in irritation. Not only were Jaehwan’s thoughts going a million miles per hour, but the topic was getting very inappropriate. He stopped suddenly, and Jaehwan almost ran into him, stifling a little gasp. “Stop it.”
Wonshik was catching up to them as Jaehwan jerked back a little. “What? What do you mean?” What did I doooooooo--
Taekwoon breathed heavily through his nostrils. Jaehwan was kind, and he knew he was a good person, but he just—“Your thoughts are so loud, and I can’t—deal with them, right now, alright?”
“My thoughts?” Taekwoon blinked, stilling in realization. He hadn’t told Jaehwan about himself. Jaehwan looked more puzzled than before. Wonshik had assumed his usual position by Jaehwan’s side.
“Jaehwan,” Wonshik’s voice was low and gentle, a hand slowly running up Jaehwan’s side soothingly. “Taekwoon can read minds.”
--
Taekwoon staggered into their living room, lips twisted in a grimace.
Hongbin was already fumbling with his belt on his recliner before he shot up, making his way over to him. God, he looks awful, what on earth happened—“What happened, Taekwoon?” Hongbin’s cold hands were now on Taekwoon’s face, inspecting it. There were spots of soot on his cheeks; his eyebrows singed, and his sweater now had holes in it.
“Jaehwan blew up when he found out I could read minds,” Taekwoon replied, and Hongbin’s hands fell from his face. Taekwoon wondered why he felt a little disappointed about it.
Well, it was bound to happen. “Ah,” his eyebrows look ridiculous. Hongbin was suppressing a smile, and Taekwoon half-glared at him, shoving his hair down to cover his forehead; but it barely covered his now lack of eyebrows. “Don’t—it looks cute.”
Taekwoon huffed, turning away, but halted when Hongbin’s fingers were running up his arm, feeling his sweater.
“I’m sad about the sweater,” Hongbin murmured. He’s beautiful. Taekwoon jerked a little to hear that. He looked up at Hongbin, who seemed unfazed. “It’s my favourite on you.”
“I know it is,” Taekwoon murmured, and Hongbin stilled some. He heard his thoughts again, and they were shy, hesitant, his hand slipping away from Taekwoon again. “That’s why I wear it a lot.”
Hongbin’s breath hitched. What is he saying? Does he like me? He likes the idea of me thinking he’s beautiful? Does he want to please me? Oh, Taekwoon…
He knew Hongbin was going to reach out again, so Taekwoon moved before he could. “I’m going to go shower.” But it felt more like he was running away.
--
Taekwoon stirred in the middle of the night, laying on his back. Slowly, he opened his eyes, frowning to himself, only to see Hongbin on the ceiling, bobbing against it like a helium balloon. He blinked, and then it registered.
Hongbin stared right back at him; he was hugging his shins, curled up in a fetal position. He looked exhausted, and he immediately looked away.
Taekwoon remembered the first night he was here, where he offered to help but Hongbin hated the thought of it. Ever since that night, he’d never asked if Hongbin needed the help; he figured he would ask if he wanted it.
Yet now Hongbin’s thoughts were very self-depreciating, bickering about how terrible he was after even four hundred years. Taekwoon had never thought about that; four hundred years of wearing those shoes, four hundred years of having difficulty climbing into bed every day.
“Do you want help?” Taekwoon asked quietly, disrupting the quiet. Hongbin’s head slowly turned to look down at him, and Taekwoon heard Hongbin think about it for a moment before nodding. Taekwoon got up slowly as if Hongbin were a timid rabbit that would sprint away at a sudden movement. He stood on his bed, reaching up, and Hongbin reached from the ceiling. Hongbin pushed himself off with his feet, barely able to grab Taekwoon’s hand. Though Taekwoon caught him, pulling Hongbin towards his chest, a hand wrapping around Hongbin’s waist as soon as he was close enough.
He held Hongbin to his front, and Hongbin wrapped his legs around Taekwoon’s hips, his arms clutching tightly at Taekwoon’s pajama top. He buried his head in Taekwoon’s neck as Taekwoon stepped off his bed, and walked over to Hongbin’s.
Thank god, thank god, thank god, thank you, Taekwoon, thank you. Hongbin had been so afraid, and Taekwoon held him firmly, securely. He was shivering, clutching to Taekwoon like a child.
Taekwoon lay Hongbin down on his bed, his movements purposefully slow and gentle. He buckled Hongbin in without much difficulty, before pulling the blankets over him. Hongbin’s cheeks were pink from embarrassment, and Taekwoon’s face softened.
His hand slowly carded through Hongbin’s fluffy hair as he hovered over him. Hongbin’s long eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks, and Taekwoon thought he was beautiful.
He’s so wonderful, Taekwoon, Taekwoon, he’s so… he was so gentle with me, he hasn’t made fun of me, made me feel like a burden, he… he’s so beautiful. Hongbin’s eyes looked up, saying nothing but his eyes showing everything he thought. His gaze lowered to Taekwoon’s lips. I want to kiss him, I want to so badly, he’s so close, he’s right there, please, kiss me.
So Taekwoon did, leaning over further, and Hongbin immediately tilted his jaw up as their mouths met, and Hongbin’s pretty lips were soft, gentle and eager. Taekwoon kissed him, and had only met to kiss him quickly, but found himself kissing Hongbin over, and over, and over, the feeling so good it was hard to pull away.
Eventually, he did, and Hongbin’s face was now red, his eyes darting away. Taekwoon felt his mouth on his still despite having broken away, the feeling lingering, and Taekwoon felt his own cheeks warm up a bit before he mumbled a flustered, “Goodnight, Hongbin,” retreating to his bed. Their backs faced each other; the boys too flustered to do otherwise.
Hongbin was on a bit of a high afterward, his mind nervous and excited. Does he like me? Does he love me? What did that mean? That felt so… that felt so nice, that hasn’t happened in such a long time, I… I wonder if… he likes me…
Hongbin fell asleep, his thoughts quietening, and silence settled over them. Taekwoon looked up to the stars, how pretty they were, but he was only thinking how dull they were in comparison to Hongbin.
“Very much so,” he murmured.
--
Taekwoon woke up late. He hadn’t joined any clubs yet; so there was no need to wake up early for anything in particular. There was some sort of gardening club, there was a calligraphy club too. Nice, quiet clubs, but Taekwoon would have to check out how big they were before he joined; he didn’t want to make the same mistake. He wouldn’t be able to handle that many thoughts at once. Ten people at once was when it began to get physically painful, so he decided seven or eight should be his limit.
Sitting up, he noticed Hongbin was out of bed already; and his thoughts immediately flashed back to what happened the night before. Taekwoon groaned softly and looked down at his hands. It was nice, and he could still feel Hongbin’s soft mouth against his when he thought about it. How was he going to face Hongbin like this? He chewed his lip, hearing Hongbin’s thoughts, slightly muffled, were focused on something he was reading. Perhaps the daily news; Hongbin always read the newspaper at 10 in the morning like an old man. Then again, Hongbin kind of was.
Taekwoon didn’t like to think about it. It gave him a headache.
He stood up, about to go downstairs, only to hear another person’s thoughts, and he stopped. Someone was over that he didn’t know, and it made him shrink back a little bit.
Taekwoon hated feeling shy at this age, but it didn’t help the way his feet hesitated before he took a deep breath and went down to the next floor.
The stranger’s thoughts were focusing on food and categorization amongst his own, personal problems. The boy seemed to have a troubled love life that Taekwoon wasn’t interested in. Taekwoon looked over to Hongbin, who sat in his recliner, slowly leafing through the newspaper before looking over at him.
Why is he cute when he’s disgruntled like that? Taekwoon heard Hongbin think to himself. Hongbin seemed to pointedly avoid his eye and looked back at his newspaper, thoughts shy. “Good morning, Taekwoon,” he greeted casually. Stay cool, Hongbin. Sanghyuk mustn’t know since he can’t keep a single secret.
Mustn’t know what? Taekwoon wondered. That they had practically confessed to each other? At least mentally? Did that count? Taekwoon sighed. It was all so confusing. “Good morning,” he replied.
“Sanghyuk is here restocking my pantry. Don’t mind him.”
“You speak of him as if he is your servant.”
He is. Hongbin’s mouth twisted up in mischief to himself. Taekwoon squinted.
They’re talking about me, Taekwoon heard Sanghyuk whine inside his head. Taekwoon turned to see Sanghyuk’s head pop around the corner, staring unhappily. He was boyish, though had high cheek bones, a rounded nose and a pretty mouth that was currently curled into a child-like pout.
Sanghyuk appeared younger than him, but if Taekwoon had learned anything about the Institution, Sanghyuk was likely decades older. “Servants get paid, I am more like his slave.”
“You are paying back a debt.”
“I broke that vase ten years ago and I am still paying for it!” Sanghyuk wailed, but there was hardly any malice in his tone.
Hongbin sighed exasperatedly, his newspaper flapping onto his lap. “It was an excavated Egyptian relic that was thousands of years old. You have barely repaid it.”
Sanghyuk whined again and this time shoved a can of beans into the pantry particularly hard. Hongbin’s head snapped around. “You better not break my pantry again!”
It’s not like you won’t make me fix it anyway. Sanghyuk bickered to himself. Stupid Hongbin and his stupid beans and his stupid eggs and his stupid… Sanghyuk looked at what he was holding, before reaching over to put it gently into the fruits basket. …Bananas.
Taekwoon couldn’t help but smile a little bit. He was hungry, though, so traveled over to the kitchen. Sanghyuk gave him no mind at all, and his thoughts quickly resumed to his love life. Taekwoon himself was deep in thought, looking down at the bags surrounding Sanghyuk.
“That must have taken you several trips,” Taekwoon murmured. Sanghyuk blinked, looking over to Taekwoon, then down to the bags. He grinned and shook his head.
“Just one!” Sanghyuk tapped his lanky bicep. Taekwoon cocked a brow and Sanghyuk put his hands on his hips.
“Hey, I’m the strongest man alive—“
“Don’t give yourself too much credit.” Hongbin barked from the living room.
Sanghyuk flinched, turning and yelling around the corner. “Well I would certainly be up there in the ranks, Floaty!”
Taekwoon bit his lip, ducking his head to hide his smile as heard Hongbin cry out in frustration.
Sanghyuk was grinning, the expression almost wolfish, though resumed stocking the fridge. Taekwoon began peeling a banana for breakfast.
What should I do, Sanghyuk was wondering. Taekwoon ate his banana in a nonchalant interest, listening to Sanghyuk’s mind. He’s so cute, really cute, but oh God if I freeze up every time I touch him… what if I accidentally squeeze him too hard… Hakyeon is so slim it’s like he’s so fragile--
Sanghyuk’s train of thought was broken because Taekwoon had begun choking on his breakfast. He forced himself to swallow it down, before looking over to Sanghyuk incredulously, his eyes watering.
“Hakyeon?”
Sanghyuk went pale. “W-What about him?”
“Is everyone here—“
“Wanting each other? Yes.” Hongbin’s voice spoke up over Taekwoon, who had walked over, eyes scanning Sanghyuk’s face with an amused interest. “Sanghyuk, did I ever mention Taekwoon can read people’s thoughts?”
Taekwoon usually would have been annoyed that Hongbin outed him, but Sanghyuk’s little squeak had him not mind at all. Sanghyuk then grimaced in dread, fingers now pulling at his face in exasperation. “Oh god, please don’t tell him, I’ll do anything, oh please,” I’m going to die, I’m really going to die, Hongbin is going to tell the world, I even had a whole date set out—a whole confession—gone, all because of Hongbin.
Sanghyuk was tugging at Taekwoon’s sweater like a child begging for forgiveness after braking something. Taekwoon slowly coerced his fingers away; he didn’t particularly like anyone touching him… other than… Taekwoon swallowed. “I won’t,” he murmured. He had never been the one to spread someone’s inner secrets. “But I do think you should confess.”
Sanghyuk swallowed. “Do you think he’ll—say yes?”
“At least you will have an answer instead of worrying constantly.” Taekwoon murmurs and Sanghyuk frowns, mouth twisting in thought. He pulled away.
“I suppose you have a point.” Sanghyuk looked up at Hongbin, then. “Will you keep my secret?”
Hongbin’s eyes glittered. “If you’re good. You’re dismissed, though, I have something to discuss with Taekwoon.”
Oh, that sounds serious. Sanghyuk’s eyes darted back and forth the two before nodding, shuffling out.
Taekwoon looked over to Hongbin, taking another bite of his banana. “The kid is nice, you should give him a break.”
Hongbin huffed. “I am being incredibly kind considering what he did.” If I close my eyes I can still see the broken pieces on the ground, that rotten kid.
Taekwoon rolled his eyes, peeling the banana down further before eating the rest and exposing of the skin. Hongbin had gone quiet, and Taekwoon looked over as he heard Hongbin’s thoughts get nervous.
Taekwoon could still feel Hongbin’s mouth on his, when he thought about it. Even now, Taekwoon was tempted. Hongbin’s mouth was so pink, so soft, so pretty, just a couple of steps away…
“I want you to take me outside.” Hongbin blurted, eyes wide and cheeks colouring.
Taking Hongbin downstairs had been surprisingly easy, but it flustered Taekwoon. Hongbin had to cling to him, tightly clutching Taekwoon’s clothes as he pressed his front against Taekwoon’s back, sinking his face into Taekwoon’s back. Hongbin was weightless, but the shoes were heavy; Taekwoon had to keep his mind from lingering when he began thinking about how warm Hongbin was, how much he trembled, how his legs wound around him tighter when Taekwoon stumbled a little bit.
Soon enough, they were out in the courtyard, where charming, fanning trees were scattered. Taekwoon usually saw the trees from the tower, but they were so small from way up there that their blooming flowers couldn’t be seen. Taekwoon was beside Hongbin who stood on the pavement, boots still clasped around his feet. Hongbin was staring up at the flowers, up at the sky, down to the grass, like an inquisitive bird that had been always locked up inside a cage.
Taekwoon supposed in a way, Hongbin was.
The breeze was welcome, and Taekwoon watched as the wind gently picked up the strands of Hongbin’s hair, and Hongbin’s eyelashes fluttered closed.
“It’s a nice day,” Hongbin murmured softly, his hand so soft in Taekwoon’s. Taekwoon couldn’t help rubbing a thumb behind the back of his palm. He was so beautiful, like this, his skin glowing from the sun.
“It is,” Taekwoon replied, just as quiet. Hongbin shifted, twisting as he slipped his backpack off his shoulders, unzipping it while he clutched it to his chest. Taekwoon watched him, and heard him think about what it was before he unveiled it, but even then he had to take a step back.
In Hongbin’s hand, a long rope looped around ten times over. Taekwoon’s mouth went dry.
I haven’t done this in so long, and last time didn’t work out very well, but I trust him, Hongbin was staring at the rope, before seemingly remembering that Taekwoon was listening. He looked up. I trust you.
“Tie it…” Hongbin’s voice was a little shaky. He gave Taekwoon the rope. It felt as if the rope was Hongbin’s vulnerability, and Hongbin was giving it to him. The rope was heavy in his palms. “Tie it around my ankle.”
“Hongbin…” Taekwoon’s voice trailed off, unsure what to say.
Hongbin could barely look at him, he was nervous, excited, his hands trembling. “Taekwoon I—I trust you more than I have—trusted anyone in a long time.” I miss being outside, I miss feeling the air around me, feeling free, feeling safe, being able to climb trees…
Taekwoon nodded, before bending down with the rope, slowly tying the rope around Hongbin’s thin ankle. What if he doesn’t tie it right? What if he does it too loose, and it slips off Hongbin’s foot and he can’t catch him?
He doesn’t realize he’s kneeling before Hongbin, his hands trembling around the rope tied loosely. It takes Hongbin running his fingers through Taekwoon’s hair to snap out of it.
“I trust you,” Hongbin murmurs. Taekwoon looks up, eyes wide. So you should trust yourself.
Taekwoon bit his lip, ducking his head. He nodded and tightened the rope around Hongbin’s ankle before standing up. Hongbin tested the knot before gently handing him the end of the rope, and Taekwoon’s anxiety must have shown on his face, for Hongbin leaned over and kissed his cheek.
“Don’t let go,” Hongbin murmured, and Taekwoon’s features softened.
“Okay.”
Hongbin leaned down and unbuckled his own shoes, and Taekwoon watched as Hongbin’s feet slipped out of them, and up into the air. Taekwoon immediately gripped the rope tighter as Hongbin floated up, watching him loosely somersault in the air.
I’m free, I’m free. I’m… Hongbin’s thoughts were unclear, and not coherent to Taekwoon, and Taekwoon supposed, watching how happy Hongbin’s face was, how his eyes curved into pretty crescents, that Hongbin was in a state of peace and calm. He was beautiful, and Taekwoon loved him. His own thoughts hardly surprised him, and he smiled because of them.
Hongbin hated being on the ground; in that moment Taekwoon truly realized as the rope grew taunt and Hongbin bobbed in the air, looking down.
Take me over to the tree, and so Taekwoon did.
He watched Hongbin as he climbed amongst the branches; not so much climbing as he was clinging to the branches before pushing himself to the next one. Taekwoon watched, stars in his eyes, wishing in that moment that Taekwoon was weightless too, so he could float with Hongbin, hold his hand and see that brilliant, wonderful smile up close.
His heart ached and Taekwoon’s cheeks hurt from smiling. Hongbin had climbed to the top of the tree, clinging to the branch like a koala as he looked over the fields he had known for so long. Hongbin looked back down to Taekwoon through the branches, pointing to the ground, so Taekwoon began to pull on the rope. It was easy to bring Hongbin back down, and the way Hongbin melted into his chest felt even easier; how their bodies fit together. Taekwoon held him, and Hongbin’s hair smelled like sunshine, like leaves and bark, and Hongbin was laughing softly, his thoughts giddy and full of affection. Taekwoon loved him, he adored him so much.
Hongbin broke away, just a little bit, so Taekwoon could still hold him around his waist, their noses brushing.
Kiss me again, and so Taekwoon did.