Work Text:
It was supposed to be an ordinary day for Baek Saheon, also known as Viper. Sweet talk some superiors, instill fear into some rookies, and then go eat dinner with that fucking guy. Baek Saheon still has no idea how that guy managed to get a hold of his phone number, by the way, because he never fucking gave it to him.
Anyway.
It was a normal day! Not his best, but Baek Saheon isn't picky. Until he gets told he has to do a group project and the person he's working with is fucking Pony.
And while they're working, Baek Saheon's phone screen glows with a message. Kang Yihak leans over fast enough to catch sight of the selfie that Agent Choi sends him, and he's wearing his stupid Bureau jacket.
While Baek Saheon pondered if he needed to kill or bribe Kang Yihak, she whistled.
“So… you and that DMB guy?”
Baek Saheon glared at her.
“I don’t want to hear this from the woman whose crush on an elite team member is so bad no one shuts up about it.”
Kang Yihak tried slapping Baek Saheon on the shoulder, but he pushed her hand away.
“No physical contact? Bleh. Stingy. Not that I’d want to touch a guy anyway.”
“Then why did you just try to touch me.” Baek Saheon grits out.
“To lean in and tell you that me and miss Dolphin are dating? Duh?”
“...You’ve got to be fucking lying.”
“I’m not!”
She opens her phone and shoves it in Baek Saheon’s face. The lock screen wallpaper is literally her and Lee Seonghae eating out at a fancy restaurant and Baek Saheon could instinctively tell that it was somewhere she wouldn’t go unless she wasn’t the one paying.
“I heard that she tried to kill you yesterday.” Baek Saheon said.
“Yeah, she did.” Kang Yihak nods, seriously. “It was really hot.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you.”
“Literally everything. Now either tell me more about your DMB boy or pay me money so I don’t leak this to the company groupchat.”
“I don’t know his name.” Baek Saheon said.
Kang Yihak blinked at him.
“I genuinely can’t tell if you’re lying or not.”
“Then fuck off!”
Baek Saheon dug into his wallet, pulled out a 100 won coin and threw it somewhere far behind Kang Yihak.
“Money!” She yelled, the absolute penny pincher that she was, and then she leapt after the coin.
Baek Saheon took the opportunity to run off.
“Why is it you again?” Baek Saheon asked, two seconds away from plotting Kang Yihak’s murder.
Said woman only checked her phone, checked the name of the restaurant they were both in front of, and then finally turned to Baek Saheon.
“I’m not giving you the coin back.” She said, like that was the takeaway from all this.
Baek Saheon raised the middle finger and walked into the restaurant.
“Someone waiting for me.” He waved the server off, and–
Why the fuck was Choi sitting with fucking Lee Seonghae.
Baek Saheon stood in the entryway, mouth hanging open. Kang Yihak shoved past him and ran to Lee Seonghae, throwing herself at her for a hug. Lee Seonghae did not catch her and allowed her to fall onto the floor and likely bruise some part of her body.
Agent Choi lifted his legs as Kang Yihak’s head skidded past where they just were. He had the faintest expression of concern on his face that faded the moment he caught sight of the suit she was wearing.
His expression brightened upon seeing Baek Saheon, which made his heart skip a beat, before it was fixed into something like a feral smile.
“We were waiting for you!” He yells, waving at Baek Saheon. Grumbling, Baek Saheon went and sat next to Choi.
“I was under the impression it would just be the two of us?” Baek Saheon hissed at him.
Agent Choi made the most innocent expression he possibly could, which meant he was up to something nefarious.
“It’s a double date!” Lee Seonghae chirped, and Baek Saheon turned around and spit out the mouth of water he had just drank at Agent Choi.
“What.” He said, glaring.
Agent Choi just gave him puppy dog eyes like it would fix anything.
“I’ll pay–”
“Can I put my food on your tab too?” Kang Yihak interrupts.
What the fuck is wrong with her, Baek Saheon thinks.
“Yeah, sure.” Agent Choi grins, before nuzzling his fucking wet hair on Baek Saheon’s shoulder.
Baek Saheon proceeds to elbow him in the gut, like he deserves.
“Waiter! Waiter!” Kang Yihak calls like an overexcited teenager. “I’d like this, this, and ow—”
Lee Seonghae has a death grip on Kang Yihak’s wrist, which was pointing at items in the menu. “That is all.” She says with a kind smile, while Baek Saheon swears that Kang Yihak’s bones are creaking.
The waiter eyes Lee Seonghae warily but doesn’t question it, taking the rest of their orders and then leaving.
“How do you fucking know her anyways.” Baek Saheon hisses at Choi, gesturing to Lee Seonghae.
“Oh! She helped us out once. Haha, she’s sure got an interesting mindset!”
“Yep! All the bad people in the world should die! Only kind people deserve to live!” Lee Seonghae proclaimed with great conviction. “Thank you for your service, Mr Agent!”
Baek Saheon watched Agent Choi’s eye twitch, which amused him greatly.
“Say, why work at Daydream Inc, then? Come over to the Disaster Management Bureau!”
Lee Seonghae smiled chillingly, opened her mouth, and then was immediately distracted by Kang Yihak, who had activated her aggro attracting skills by suggesting that they dine and dash.
Heh. Sucks to date an insane person.
Agent Choi, who had realized his misstep the moment he finished speaking, immediately laughed and watched as Lee Seonghae began stabbing a knife between Kang Yihak’s fingers quietly.
This guy clearly didn’t care if a Daydream Inc employee got hurt, so what the fuck was up with him?
The waiter finally arrives with food, which saves Baek Saheon from having to make awkward conversation. Not that he’d be bad at it, normally, but he did not have any urge to suck up to anyone at the table, especially not Lee Seonghae, who was looking at him like she was going to butcher him in an alleyway with no one any wiser. Kang Yihak was a bum, and Agent Choi didn’t even work at Daydream Inc.
Baek Saheon should still steal a couple more of those multi-colored shoelaces off of him, just in case.
Choi tries to get Baek Saheon to feed him once, but it was his grape flavored ice cream so Choi could fucking suck it and buy another one. Which he actually does. And then proceeds to eat in front of Baek Saheon without giving him any. So next time Baek Saheon sees Choi it’s on sight.
Choi doesn’t end up paying for all of them, only because Lee Seonghae says that she feels obligated to pay for herself. This was said while side eyeing Kang Yihak, so Baek Saheon wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t make it out of the next Darkness.
They each go their separate ways, and Baek Saheon has to squint as Agent Choi and Lee Seonghae start giving each other blinding smiles and waving sincerely.
“Well?” Agent Choi asked as they watched Lee Seonghae and Kang Yihak walk away. “Was it nice, civilian?”
“What do you fucking think.” Baek Saheon says, but he doesn’t resist this time when Agent Choi decides to nuzzle his head.
“I think it’d be perfect if you smiled.”
“Funny joke.”
“Maybe a kiss, then?”
Baek Saheon glared at Agent Choi, gave him a peck on his cheek and then punched him.
“See you next time!” He calls as he walks away from Agent Choi, who was still wheezing on the floor.
Loser. Still the same stupid agent he saved. And he still likes the sound of that. Ironic that a man most well known for killing could save someone, no? But Agent Choi is still here, so he's not allowed to die on Baek Saheon. No matter what.
