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There was something significantly different in the air around him the past couple of weeks, and Finn couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was. Nothing had really changed all that much; football practice was the same as always, classes kind of sucked, Glee Club was still really fun...there were a couple of little things, he guessed, like the other guys in the club seemed to be hanging out more outside of school, which was pretty awesome. He was pretty sure he saw Tina eating lunch with Brittany and Santana, for instance, and it wasn't any secret that Kurt and Mike had started dating recently (which Finn had to admit was a surprise; he hadn't realized that Mike was gay, but he didn't really know much about the guy in the first place).
So he really couldn't figure out what felt off. He was pretty sure that whatever it was, though, he didn't like it.
Glee practice rolled around again like it always did, and today they were 'working on individual parts'...which more or less meant that they could do what they wanted so long as Mr. Schue occasionally heard some singing in there. Usually it resulted in Finn practicing his solos--and he was in fact holding the sheet music for one of them at the moment--but he was a little distracted. Glancing around the room, he saw that most of the others had gotten into little groups (save Rachel, who was practicing her own solos) and were sporadically singing between generally chatting and laughing, generally just having a good time.
And actually...the only two that had just paired off and weren't part of a group were Mike and Kurt, who sat up and a bit away from the group that consisted of Artie, Tina and Mercedes, and they were sitting way too close to each other and were holding music but weren't paying attention to it, Mike was leaning into Kurt and saying something quietly, making Kurt laugh, and it made Finn feel weird. Part of him wanted to go up and separate them, scold them about not doing what they were supposed to be doing, but that didn't make any sense because no one else really was either and he didn't really care about that.
Inexplicably irritated, Finn turned back to face the front of the room and tried focusing on his solo, but he didn't get a whole lot of work done for the rest of the period.
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Finn had calmed down after leaving Glee and went to his next class, but when the bell rang and he left to head to his locker, that annoyance flared up again when he saw Mike and Kurt walking down the hall together, Kurt's arm looped around Mike's. They seemed to not even notice him standing there staring as they walked by, and that made the feeling a little worse.
What the hell was this all about, anyway? Why was he getting all weird about it? At least Kurt wasn't kind of always looking at him anymore (not that he minded it exactly, it was just kinda awkward) and he seemed pretty happy with this, so what gave?
...oh.
Oh no.
He wasn't...homophobic, was he? But, he hated people like that! But wasn't that the only explanation to feeling almost repulsed by seeing the two of them together like that?
Oh man, Finn felt terrible.
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Avoiding the situation seemed to be working pretty well so far. At least, as much as he could. He couldn't exactly avoid Glee Club, and, well, there they were. It was weird, when they weren't sitting all close together Finn didn't feel that weird annoyance, and it almost felt like before, with Kurt watching him as he sang, and he really tried his best to sound awesome when that happened because it kept Kurt's attention from going...elsewhere. It was kind of stressful, though.
And that must have been showing today, because after the bell rang, Mercedes came up to him with her hands on her hips and that look that screamed that she was going to get all the answers she wanted, whether he liked it or not.
"So what's the matter with you, anyway?" she asked, giving him a once over, "Actin' like you got some drama."
Finn started to answer, but caught the sight of Mike holding the door open for Kurt as they left the practice room and he bristled again, frowning as he looked away. Mercedes raised an eyebrow and turned to see what it was that had gotten on the boy's nerves--and when she looked back, there was something almost like a smirk on her lips, a sort of knowing look that freaked Finn out a little.
"You got it bad, don't you," she almost laughed, "Seen that before."
Assuming that she had in fact seen through him, Finn put up his hands defensively, trying to defend himself, "I don't--I mean, I swear I'm not a homophobe, I don't know why it--I'm not like that!"
Mercedes blinked a couple of times as this registered, then did indeed break into laughter. "That's what you think? Lord," she said, waving her hand as she tried to settle down, "Don't go 'round sayin' that stuff. Look, why don't you just go talk to Kurt? Might clear a few things up, you know?"
"He's always with Mike."
"Don't sound so bitter, it ain't that serious a thing." Mercedes' expression changed a bit then, becoming more serious, as she seemed to ponder something for a moment. Voice lowering slightly, she continued, "But look, you best figure out what you got goin' on, 'cause I don't wanna see my boy get hurt no more. Promise me you'll do that."
That didn't make any sense to Finn, but, hell, neither did anything else. Nodding a little dumbly, he echoed, "Yeah, I promise."
"Good. Catch him after school, then. He usually hangs around here for a while."
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Mercedes' statement rang true; it had been about a half-hour since the last bell had rung and the school had emptied, and Kurt was back in the practice room, sitting at the piano and playing a few chords while he sang along. His voice was a lot more confident than his hands, but Finn really liked the sound anyway.
Anyway, time to get out of the doorway.
He walked in, and the door must have squeaked or something because Kurt stopped playing and closed his mouth, just holding there for a second before he inhaled audibly and turned his head to Finn with a smile that seemed just a little too canned, "Is there something you forgot in here, Finn?"
"No, not really, I just--" Finn started, walking closer to the piano as his hands found their way into his pockets, "You know, wanted to talk."
Kurt's expression twitched into something a little more natural, his blue eyes softening a bit, but seemed to catch himself on something and looked back to the piano, before pushing the bench back and crossing his legs, folding his hands on his knee as he looked back to Finn with that same manufactured smile. "Of course. What's on your mind?"
Well, there was a hard question. Finn didn't know what the hell was on his mind. He knew he didn't like seeing that weird plastic look on Kurt's face when he looked at him, and he knew he didn't like that he was like, always around Mike now, and he didn't like the way it made him feel, but he didn't know what that meant.
He stood there struggling for a few seconds to find words (not even necessarily the right words, just words would do right now, Hudson), then finally managed something. Something unbelievably stupid. "You don't look at me anymore."
Kurt just...stared at him for a few seconds, giving Finn plenty of time to get uncomfortable, especially since the more he dwelled on what he'd just said the more he realized that it was true and it bothered him, and that was more than just a little weird. He kind of felt out of his element here.
Finally the smaller boy sighed, and unfolded his legs as he stood up, looking up to Finn with a hand on his hip and a look in his eyes that was almost cautious. "All right, tell me what you mean."
"Well, I just mean that..." What did he mean? "You used to...you know...and now you're always with Mike and I'm--" jealous.
...Oh. Oh.
That...must have been what Mercedes have meant when she said that talking to Kurt might 'clear a few things up'.
Kurt was still looking up at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence, eyes bright and blue and damn since when did Finn notice things like that? He was dumbfounded at this point, not having any idea what to say, and he was pretty sure he looked like an idiot since he could feel that his mouth was open but he wasn't saying anything and usually he looked pretty stupid when he got like that. But Kurt's eyes had softened again, the look on his face had lost that plastic look, and that made him feel a little better, but only a little because he'd realized the truth of the matter and it really wasn't at all what he'd expected because it was that he didn't like it when Kurt didn't look at him like this and that someone else was seeing it instead.
But words weren't really Finn's strong point, so, instead of trying to explain himself, he instead moved forward and wrapped an arm around Kurt's thin waist, dipping down and pressing his lips to the other boy's. --well maybe actions weren't his strong point either, because he wasn't totally sure why he was doing this but it had seemed like the right thing to do and actually Kurt's lips were really soft and he smelled nice and--
--and Kurt was kissing back now, his arms coming up around Finn's shoulders and pulling himself closer. Their breaths mingled and it tasted kind of minty, like Kurt had been sucking on a Tic-Tac or something and Finn's brain shut up right about then because either his mouth had opened or Kurt's had (he wasn't really sure) and their tongues were winding around each other's and oh man.
He was moving without realizing, pushing forward and backing Kurt up until the smaller one's back hit the piano and he gave a surprised squeak, which Finn swallowed hungrily as he leaned in more, pressing him into it. He could feel Kurt's heartbeat racing like this, and was kind of aware that his was too, but that didn't really seem to matter too much at the moment.
It was way, way too soon when Kurt broke their kiss, hands to Finn's shoulders, panting heavily as he shook his head for a second, managing to get out, "Wait--Finn. Wait a...wait a second."
Finn blinked for a moment, trying to catch his breath, but he levered himself off of the smaller boy anyway, a little confused...okay, a lot confused. By everything. "I...uh...s-sorry, I--"
Kurt put his hand up to stop Finn where he was, and took a few breaths to steady his voice a little before he continued, "I...need to know what you mean by this." When Finn didn't respond right away, looking a little lost, Kurt grimaced a bit (could never make things painless, could they) and continued, "I've been--" well, here went nothing, "--in love with you for a long time, but I was ready to let go and...I need to know what you mean. I need to know what to do."
This was a little more than Finn had bargained for--Kurt was in love with him?--and even though it made him feel a little bit awkward it made him feel really good too, and he didn't like to see that almost-sad look on Kurt's face, but he also didn't want to see him looking at anyone else the way he looked at Finn, so... "Don't let me go." It was simple enough, but heartfelt, and a sort of lopsided smile made it's way onto his face. "Okay?"
Kurt looked at him for a long moment, as if sizing him up and looking for something in his face or eyes--and whatever it was he was looking for, he must have found it, because Kurt began to smile a little too. "Okay."
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It was a good thing that Mike was such an easygoing guy, because Finn had been afraid that he'd get wicked pissed off and try to start a fight with him over basically stealing Kurt away from him. Apparently Mercedes had been right, though, it hadn't been anything too serious, so everyone was on good terms and it was awesome.
It was Glee practice now, and they were again 'working on individual parts', only this time instead of sitting by himself, he had Kurt pressed up against his side, hovering over and pointing at a series of notes on the page held by Finn, making some comment about it not sounding quite right and he was smiling. And that smile was all Finn's, it didn't belong to anyone else and he wasn't planning on giving it up anytime soon.
His arm came around Kurt's shoulders and he grinned, pulling him as close as he could get without being in his lap, and held the sheet of music between them with the other hand so they could both read it. "Sing it with me, then."
And Finn was pretty sure there was nothing so awesome as hearing Kurt's voice twine with his own while he laced his fingers with Finn's hand dangling over his shoulder.