Chapter Text
Tweek and Craig are sitting quietly against their tree. The one with the initials “C + T”. A heart around it. Craig had carved that for them during their last meet up. Craig's hand creeps over to Tweek's, Tweek pulls away fast.
“Gah- Craig- no touching in public, we can get caught!” Tweek said in a hushed screech.
Craig and Tweek only make physical contact when they know they’re alone. Even if it’s just holding hands, or quick hugs, it should never be in the public eye. They learned that lesson back when they were 12 years old, when the other boys at school caught them holding hands on the playground. Tweek went home with bruised arms and legs while Craig went home with a black eye.
Craig turns to look at Tweek, face emotionless to others, but Tweek could always read his face like a book. He gives Craig a solemn look.
“Craig, you know what could happen to us if they see us…” Tweek sighs shakily. He wishes so badly that he could hold Craig. Touch him, feel him. So many things he wanted to do, but he was forbidden. This was the 1930s. Two men behaving this way was highly inappropriate. He scoots a little farther from Craig.
Craig continues to look at Tweek. God that look he was giving him. Made his heart beat a million times faster. No one, no one has ever looked at Tweek the way that Craig has.
They both knew what they were doing was wrong. Sinful. Disgusting is the word that always comes to mind. What he was feeling broke God's heart, and knowing that made Tweek feel so guilty. He was ashamed. He should be ashamed. Hurting God like he was just a figment of imagination.
Craig shuffles close to Tweek, and can't help himself. He ignores every thought telling him how wrong this is. How disgraceful he is behaving. But he loves Tweek. He loves him so much.
He leans into Tweek's face and plants a soft kiss on his lips. Tweek freezes.
This felt amazing. Felt…right. Like their faces were made to fit each other. Why would God not want them together when they fit so perfectly?
Craig pulls back. They stare into each other's eyes. Craig's eyes look glossy, wet, as if he's about to cry. Tweek's first instinct was to reach out for him and hold him.
It wasn't common at all for Craig to be emotional, so Tweek knew this kiss either meant the world to Craig, or made him feel shame for what he had just done. Tweek then feels tears start to form in his eyes as well.
The two boys hold each other as they silently sob. This wasn't fair. This was not fair. Neither of them could love each other. Of course they can't! They're both male. Men couldn't feel true love between each other, only lust. But Tweek didn't feel lustful at this moment. No. He feels love. Or at least that's what he thinks he feels. He could just be mentally ill. Yes. That's what they called it. Mentally ill. Something he should be sent to the mental asylum for.
He wishes he could control it. He wishes that he didn't have these feelings for a boy. He wishes he could feel the same for a girl but he can't. He just can't. Because this is not a choice. He didn't choose the way his heart quickens whenever he's around him. He didn't choose the way he felt looking into his beautiful emerald eyes-
Him.
His.
Tweek wishes he could say she. But he can't. He has fallen for a boy.
Craig lifts his head away from Tweek's tear-soaked shoulder. Craig looks deeply into Tweek's eyes. He can't find his words, but Tweek can tell his voice was quivering. Craig was scared. Tweek hasn't seen Craig so emotional. But Tweek loves this. He loves that he can get him to open up when no one else can or knows how to.
Craig pulls back. Sitting across from Tweek, knees held up to his chest. He takes a deep breath. Tweek is frightened by what he's about to say. Tweek sits a little closer to Craig, and places a hand on top of Craig's. He gives him a nervous smile. Craig gives him one in return.
They sit like that for what felt like hours, but had really only been a few minutes, before Craig finally spoke up.
“I love you, Tweek Tweak.”
Tweek's heart stops in his throat. His eyes widen.
'Oh why did he have to say that?!'
His thoughts are racing. His brain is still trying to take in what Craig had just said. He loves me. Words Tweek has barely ever heard from anyone, including his own parents. Tweek feels as if he's going to explode. His mouth hangs open. He wants to say it in return. He really wants to. He does, in fact, love Craig as well.
'Ack! No you don't. You didn't just think that.'
But he did. He does love him. His heart hurts. His heart hurts so badly.
Craig turns away from Tweek, ashamed. He gets up off the ground and starts to walk away. Tweek blinks twice and snaps back to the moment. He realizes Craig is walking away, fast. Tweek gets to his feet and quickly catches up with him.
“Wait- agh- C-Craig!” Tweek grabs Craig by the sleeve, stopping him in his tracks. Craig turns around.
“I-...” Craig sighs. He looks down onto the little blonde boy. Beautiful blue eyes staring up at him, tangled blonde hair blowing in the wind. Craig wishes he could entangle his fingers into it. He wants to feel his soft hair against his rough skin. Tweek sniffles and takes one step closer to Craig. Their chests are touching. Craig can feel their heartbeats against one another. Tweek's heart beat is fast, while Craig's feels faster.
Craig's heart is usually steady. Calm. Only when he's with Tweek is when his heart can't stop pumping out of his chest. Tweek is the only person to ever make him feel things. Craig couldn't care about anything in the world, until it came to Tweek. He would do anything for the little blonde boy.
Boy.
'Why can't you just be a girl? Why why why? Why has Satan tempted me? Why have I fallen into his trap?'
Craig's thoughts overwhelm his usually calm brain. He wishes he could just walk away but he can't. He feels glued to Tweek. He feels that their bodies are perfectly molded together, as if they weren't meant to be apart. He feels Tweek's hand hold tightly on his arm. The whole world fades away from him. All the grass and trees around them turn into nothing. All he sees and feels is Tweek. The one person who could ever do this to him.
“I love you, Craig Tucker.”
Craig can't breathe. How can he? The boy he's loved ever since they were 10 has just repeated the words 'I love you' back to him. He can't tell if this is real. Or if this is just some fucked up fantasy dream taunting him. And then. He feels Tweek's lips against his. This is, in fact, real.
Craig instinctively grabs Tweek by the waist, and lifts him up to his face so he can kiss deeper. Tweek wraps his legs around Craig. Craig wants more of Tweek. He wants all of him. He wants his Tweek to stay with him forever. Just him and Tweek. No one else. No one to tell them it's 'wrong'. No one to lecture them on how it's a 'sin'. No one to physically beat them because it's 'disgusting'.
Craig didn't think this was disgusting. Craig thought this was beautiful. Craig thought that this was the best thing to ever happen to him. He loves the way Tweek feels. He feels so perfect and Craig wants him all to himself. Craig wishes he could take them both away and live in their own private world.
Craig lowers them into the soft grass. Craig pulls back from the kiss, stars in his eyes. And he can not stop looking at Tweek. Tweek's skin looks so beautiful against the sun's rays. Tweek's breathing begins to quicken. Not in his usual anxiety induced way. No. This was different.
Tweek's eyes are half lidded, and staring so deep into Craig's. Craig's heartbeat begins to fasten as he feels Tweek's hands meet his chest. The blonde plays with the wrinkles on Craig's white undershirt. Moving them around. Craig feels something so different. So new. He's scared. But in the best way possible.
Tweek lays Craig down.
'God, what am I doing?!'
Tweek sits on Craig's lap. His heart is beating so fast he's surprised it hasn't broken out of his chest yet. He brings his face down to Craig, and plants a kiss.
“Craig, I'm scared. What is happening?” Tweek whispers against Craig's lips.
Craig just stares at Tweek. He has no clue as to what is happening. He's never done anything like this before. Or at least he hasn't with a boy before. But Craig likes this more. He didn't like doing this with a girl. The girl never stopped when he had asked her to. She kept going more and more. Craig hated the feeling of her. He felt dirty afterwards. Maybe he had felt dirty because they weren't married. That was also sinful.
But this didn't feel sinful at all. This, being with a boy, felt correct to Craig. Craig couldn't feel any happier than being with Tweek. Tweek was the only person who had ever made him smile. No one has ever made Craig Tucker smile. Not even his best friends. Tweek was the only one to ever get him to feel things other than nothing.
Craig feels his coat be removed from his body. Craig reaches up and starts to unbutton the blonde's shirt.
Tweek sighs heavily, feeling the cold air against his overheating skin. He doesn't notice anything around him. All he can focus on is the black haired boy beneath him, eyes resembling stars. Tweek can't stop what he's doing. He doesn't care anymore. All he cares about is Craig.
Both boys shirtless, they kiss again. Deeper. Longer. Tweek's lips part, and Craig takes the hint. He slides his soft tongue into Tweek's hot mouth. They just fit so well together. They just had to be made for one another.
They suddenly stop. They hear voices in the distance. They glance at one another before moving away from each other. They both scramble getting their shirts back on as quickly as they possibly can. They were terrified of what could possibly happen to them if they were caught. Neither of them wanted to think about it. They both push those terrible, violent thoughts down as far as they can.
They get to their feet and run deeper into the forest, fingers interlinked. Craig leads them deeper and deeper until they both know that they are alone.
Tweek yanks his hand away from Craig, and takes some steps back. He's so scared. Terrified. His heart is beating so fast he thinks he could die from it.
“C-Craig, we could have gotten caught! Do you know what they could have done to us?!” Tweek grabs the sides of his head and pulls as hard as he can on his messy hair, knuckles turning white.
Craig makes his way to the scared boy and gently removes his hands away from his head.
“Honey…” Craig says, voice quivering. He has never called anyone by that name. But he has heard his father call his mother that a few times, figuring it was a sweet thing to call someone you deeply care about. He swallows, then continues.
“...We didn't get caught. We're alone. We're safe.” Craig holds Tweek's shivering hands and brings them up to his face, and leaves a soft kiss on them.
Tweek can feel his breath slow. His heart is back to normal.
'It's just me and Craig. We're safe.'
He looks into Craig's eyes. He's lost in them. They are so beautiful. Tweek wants that gaze all to himself. He knows that Craig only ever stares at him that way.
Then Tweek realizes that he just called him honey. That's what other boys call their sweethearts. The only difference is that he's a boy. He's never heard of a boy be called honey, until now. He feels special knowing that he's Craig's honey.
“Can you say it again?” Tweek whispers.
“Say what?” Craig smiles, and brushes the top of Tweek's head gently.
“That name you called me. Say it again.”
Craig cups Tweek's cheek, Tweek leans into the touch and closes his eyes.
“You look so handsome, honey.” Both hands are on Tweek's cheeks, right thumb caressing his soft skin.
Tweek blushes a bright red and closes his eyes tighter. He loves this new name.
Honey
Sounds so sweet. Tweek takes this as Craig thinking he's sweet. He brings his hands up to Craig's chest, then down to his waist.
“Thank you, Craig. You're not so bad yourself.” Tweek teases.
They both giggle together like school girls and go find a place to sit, where no one can find them.
They find a small space surrounded by trees, and bushes with little white flowers on them. There's a rock in the middle of this space, just big enough to hide behind. Before sitting behind the rock, Craig picks one of the flowers and places it in the mess of Tweek's soft blonde hair.
Tweek giggles. A huge smile across his face. A genuine smile. He hasn't ever felt this happy. Craig seems to be the only one who makes him truly happy. Craig smiles in return.
Craig sits back against the rock. Tweek joins him, shoulders touching. Craig can't help but stare at the blonde. He looks so beautiful. He could stare at him every day and night. Lost in his ocean-blue eyes. He wishes to swim in them.
“Craig?” Tweek turns to look back at him, Craig turns away, face red as a tomato.
“Yes, Tweek?”
Tweek inhales. His eyes squeeze shut. Blush spreads across his face. He wants to ask. He really wants to ask. But he's terrified. He keeps opening his mouth, but no words fall out. He brings his hands up to his face, and hides in them. He feels tears form in his eyes.
'How can I even ask him this? It's forbidden. It's a sin. How dare I betray God.'
“Honey, are you alright?” Craig brings his hand over to Tweek's, and Tweek hesitates before taking it. Tweek moves closer to Craig, and leans on his shoulder.
He starts to sob. He can't stop the tears from coming out of his eyes. He feels overwhelmingly sad. No, not just sad, devastated. He can not be with the one he loves. Not in public at least. He turns up to see his sweetheart staring back down at him, sadness in his eyes. On the verge of tears.
“Craig, I love you. I love you so much.” Hot tears continue to fall from his eyes. Craig wipes them away with his sleeve.
Craig is struggling to hold back his own tears. He hates seeing Tweek like this. So frightened, so sad. Craig is feeling the same way. He wishes so much that Tweek was a girl, he really does. Then they could live their lives without fear. Without fear of being ridiculed. Without fear of being killed.
'This is what I want. I have free will. God lets us choose our own paths.'
Tweek swallows the lump in his throat and continues.
“Would you be more than just friends with me?” He spits out as fast as he can.
Craig without any hesitation answers.
“Yes.”
This is all Craig ever wanted. Tweek is all Craig has ever wanted. He knew he loved Tweek from the moment they glanced at each other back in grade school. He never knew what these feelings meant. He had always felt that there was something wrong with him. But now he knows that this feeling is love. True love. And right now, he does not care about what will happen to him. He would be happy with the one he loves rather than be alone, miserable for the rest of his life.
Tweek exhales, a smile creeps across his face. The joy he's feeling in this moment can not be matched. He loves a boy. He loves Craig. And Craig loves him too. How could God ever hate something so beautiful?
Tweek moves to Craig's lap, and places his hands around his waist. Craig holds Tweek close, hands placed gently on his back. Their foreheads touch, breath caressing each other's faces. Craig touches lips with Tweek once again. Tweek leans into the kiss. They stay like that for a while until the other starts to unbutton his shirt.
Tweek is struggling with the buttons, so Craig helps. Craig's jacket is thrown off, along with his shirt. Craig sees Tweek's bare skin around his neck. He moves down and kisses his collar bone. Tweek shivers at the sudden touch. He has never felt like this. This new feeling…feels unbelievable.
“Craig-” Tweek huffs out, breathing fast.
They lock eyes once again. Both looking to see how the other feels. This feeling is mutual. They both feel so much love for each other, it could fill dozens of oceans. Craig's hands move to Tweek's waist and hold him tightly against his lower half. Tweek pushes his face back into Craig's, tongues swirling against each other.
This feels amazing. Tweek cups Craig's face with both his hands, and brings his face closer.
'Closer. I need to be closer.'
He presses his whole body as close as he can, and Craig lays himself down so they're more comfortable.
In the same pose as they were earlier, they continue where they left off, this time well hidden from the outside world. Craig begins to slip off Tweek's pants, before stopping half way.
“What are we doing?” Craig's face shifts from love to guilt.
'God's going to get me for this. I deserve to be punished I deserve-'
Tweek's hands are around his lover's neck. He whispers in his lover's ear.
“We are living.”