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Seeing him again was a complete surprise, but you never imagined you'd run into your first— and only— love in a bakery. Although, maybe you should've imagined, after all, it was a bakery near where he grew up. Then again, the last time you'd spoken to him many years ago, he told you he was way up north. There was no reason he wouldn't have returned by now.
Either way, Zayne Li stood before you as you enjoyed your lunch break with your friend and coworker, Emcee. He noticed the two of you right away, and after getting his order, came over to greet the two of you. Emcee, being good friends with the doctor, slid over and allowed him to sit next to her in the booth.
"Wait, so you two really know each other?" Emcee asked.
"We do," You said with a small nod, "Zayne tutored me when I was in high school."
"I thought you graduated early?"
"I did," Zayne confirmed, "We studied at the same library and met there. Eventually I ended up tutoring her because she needed help."
"He had to be there anyway, although, I did offer to pay him."
"And I refused. But I was given macarons, and other baked goods every now and then."
"It helped that my brother was in school to become a baker. He's got his own bakery now actually."
"In Sky Haven, right? I'm going there this weekend! Tell me the name of the bakery!"
"Didn't you just get back?" Zayne questioned.
"Emcee definitely has a secret boyfriend there," You teased.
"I do not!"
"You are there quite often. It's a reasonable conclusion."
"Thank you, Zayne," You said with a smile. However, you panicked, feeling a familiar tickle in the back of your throat. One you thought you'd gotten rid of with time. Strategically, you pretended to sip through your straw. This way, when you inevitably started to cough, you could blame it on your drink going down the wrong way. Zayne and Emcee showed concern for your sudden cough but your solid reasoning dismissed their worries.
Later that night at home, you freaked out that your hanahaki had returned, especially after such a long time. You were certain it was gone. Sure, it would flare up a bit when you thought about Zayne, but that didn't mean much. You were so positive it was gone. And now, you have to go back to Sky Haven to your doctor to see if it's gotten worse, or if it's the same. Maybe you should've kept up with it. Deciding it was too short of a notice to take off and make an appointment, you put it off again, and hoped it was just because you'd seen him.
Really, you should've expected Emcee to invite Zayne to some of your hangouts, which secretly, you enjoyed. Seeing your old friend again is very nice, not to mention getting to reminisce about your high school days, and remembering the reason you fell in love with him in the first place. Which really, is not good for you. And they noticed. Oh, did they notice. Especially since Zayne had noticed you'd developed a cough towards the end of your time together back then.
"What is that?" Emcee asked one afternoon at the start of your appointment to study her evol.
"What is what?" You asked, pretending not to know as you worked diligently.
"The pile of jasmine blossoms on your desk. And the distinct lack of flowers."
"Maybe I pulled the petals off, and tossed the stems. Maybe one of my coworkers did."
"And the hints of blood?"
"Someone pricked their finger a few times."
"Those aren't rose petals. How many other flowers have thorns?"
"Several I'm sure."
"You're deflecting."
"I'm working."
"And I'm the empress of the universe," Emcee said sarcastically.
"I told you where they came from, and I really am working."
"I do know everyone here, I could ask."
"Alright then, Miss Hunter, where do you think they're from?" You asked, turning to look at your friend as you leaned on your knees.
"Zayne mentioned a strange disease called Hanahaki once, saying you cough up flower petals."
And at his name, you cough. No petals. Not that Emcee could see anyway. "I've heard of that before. I can assure you, it's not that."
Unfortunately for you, Emcee didn't believe you. No, instead she went to her doctor's appointment later that day and offhandedly mentioned it when her doctor—Zayne, of course—asked how her day was. Now that raised alarm bells for Zayne. He knows you had that bad cough earlier in life, and now you have one again, on top of Emcee's suspicions. Your old friend couldn't help but wonder who was special enough for you to hold onto all these years; he almost wondered why it wasn't him.
Eventually you did take the weekend off to go back home to Sky Haven; you were almost forced to really. The cough was getting worse, and the doctor you trusted the most was back home. Not to mention Emcee really wanted to go to your brother's bakery, so giving in, you took the weekend off and traveled with your friend to Sky Haven. Arriving, you went your separate ways, and promised to meet up at the previously mentioned bakery.
The doctor's appointment went as well as you had expected it to. It's getting worse, and you need to take it easy, with cough drops to help ease the soreness in your throat. Things you already knew, but dreaded hearing confirmed, and as you told your family what the doctor said, they all seemed to have the same questions. Why hang out with him? Why get to know him again? Developing feelings might've been preventable. Your answer? Well, you didn't have one, not one you thought was any good. The answer: you simply wanted to. After all, it's been nearly a decade since you both parted ways, a little less since you completely grew apart and stopped talking. He'd been one of your best friends while you were in high school, even if he was already in college. You're the same exact age. Months or days difference doesn't matter much. So really, saying no seemed silly. This could've been your way to get over him, but unfortunately, the opposite happened.
Returning to Linkon was a solo trip as Emcee stayed in Sky Haven to spend more time with her totally not boyfriend, Caleb, not that you actually believed for a second they weren't dating. Neither seemed to mind your teasing though.
The afternoon you spent together at the bakery was nice, the Caleb guy she was totally not dating is extremely nice, and definitely cares for her a lot. And honestly, you're really happy for her. But right now, you're wondering what you were thinking when you agreed to let Zayne pick you up from the train station.
"How was your trip? Your doctor say anything about your cough?" Zayne asked as he started to drive towards your apartment.
"It was good. It was nice to be back home and see family and old friends again, but there's something about being back in Linkon that's a little nicer oddly enough. Doc said everything I already knew; it's time to seriously consider surgery, which sucks," You answered honestly. With the medicine and the cough drops your doctor gave you, thankfully you didn't feel the urge to cough up flower petals.
"It's getting that bad?" With that, Zayne knew for sure it was hanahaki, but the question remained, for who?
"Yeah, but I've got some meds now, so it won't be as bad. Nothing to stress about," You answered honestly, you knew you had time. "Oh! Remind me to give you a box my brother sent back for you."
"If it's carrot cake, I'm afraid I'll need to pass," Zayne joked.
"It's not, as far as he's concerned when it comes to carrots, you're deathly allergic."
"Then I suppose we should never correct him."
You couldn't help but laugh. Sometimes it amazes you just how much he hate carrots, especially since you don't like them either, but don't mind them in soup if they're soft and cut small enough.
At home, you invited Zayne to come inside with you. Sure, you should probably have some distance now that you knew it was serious, however, you also had medication to keep it under control. You're just getting back. Spending time with your friend isn't going to do any more damage than it already has.
"These are good," You said with a stolen cookie from Zayne's gift.
"You didn't have any?"
"I didn't. Helped make them though, mom and dad too."
"Didn't they own the bakery?"
"Yeah, they retired when my brother was able to fully handle it though."
"Evols are that much more interesting to you than the family business?" After all, Zayne's parents are doctors as well.
"Evols are just cooler; it's better than baking in a hot kitchen all day."
Conversations with Zayne were always easy. There was no pressure to think of how to say things just right, just simply being yourself, and you knew he could too. While you wouldn't exactly call him an open book, you knew how to read him. You're sure that Zayne feels that same easiness with you. Unfortunately, that means nothing when it comes to romance. After all, Zayne surely feels that same easiness with Emcee.
"Thanks for picking me up, Zayne," Emcee said, and slipped into the passenger seat of his car. Right where you'd sat a week ago.
"I don't mind. It's best you get back safe."
"You've been spending time with Y/N, right? How's she been?"
"She's well. You were right, she does have hanahaki."
"I knew it! Did you convince her to get the surgery?"
"I didn't, the subject was changed."
"Ya know, if you don't like her back, you should tell her to get the surgery."
"You think it's me?"
"The first time she coughed like that was when we saw you at the bakery. It's highly possible."
The more Zayne thought about it, the more he realized Emcee was likely right. Especially if the cough from your late-teenage years was actually hanahaki that had went dormant in the years you two grew apart.
"You really should tell her to get the surgery if you can't find it in you to love her back. I know fully well feelings are complicated. I never thought my boyfriend would, or could be my boyfriend, but I'm so glad that he is. We love each other fiercely and unapologetically. You deserve the same. More than anyone, you deserve it, and if you don't want that to be Y/N…the sooner she gets the surgery, the higher the chances she has to survive, right? After all, we only get one life, and everyone deserves to be loved how they want to be loved. Without settling either. Even if Y/N forgets us both, at least we know she'd be able to find love again and be happy. That just leaves what you want with your love life. Caleb was once concerned you had feelings for me, ya know."
"Caleb doesn't have anything to worry about. I respect your decisions."
"You know he's alive?"
"I do. I saw him on the streets of Linkon with you. You both looked happy. I'm glad to know he's treating you right," Zayne said, purposely leaving out any talk of his love life, after all, it's unknown if everyone actually gets just one life. Maybe there's such a thing as multiple lives. Maybe there has been someone who has lived enough lives to fill a garden with jasmines.
It was night-time, a few days after Emcee got home, when you got a text message. Most people you know would be asleep. In fact, there's only one person you knew that would have a valid reason for being awake at this hour. Instead of answering the text message, you tapped the call button.
"I wasn't expecting you to call."
"I wasn't expecting you to text me. You're at work, right? Something happen?"
"I lost a patient. There were similarities between their illness and yours. You should get your surgery before it's too late."
"It's scheduled for two months from now, after my lease is up. Gives me enough time to move back home while I recover."
"Why did you wait so long?"
"There's some memories that are worth remembering."
"Fixing a cough shouldn't affect your memories."
"It shouldn't. But it does anyway."
"Y/N…Why did you want to study evols?"
"I've always liked them and found them fascinating, and when you confided in me that you can't always control yours, they somehow became even more interesting. You're not the only one out there who can't. I wanted to know more."
"About mine, or evols in general."
You thought for a minute, wanting to give Zayne a completely honest answer, "Both."
"You should get some sleep."
"I don't mind staying up with you. Losing a patient surely isn't easy."
"You have work in the morning, and I have paperwork to fill out. I'll be okay."
"Call me back if you need to, I don't mind."
"Good night, Y/N."
"Goodnight, Zayne."
Hanging up the phone had a bittersweet feeling. Getting confirmation from Zayne that you should get the surgery was decently unpleasant, yet liberating at the same time. You had started to suspect he knew about the hanahaki. That the flowers, jasmines, were for him, and that conversation was just confirmation of that. Still, he told you to get the surgery. That was certainly the softest rejection, but you were grateful for it. Now you know, going into this, there were no more what-ifs. Even though you won't remember there weren't any after your surgery.
Over the next two months, with the help of Zayne and Emcee, you slowly started to pack up and ship things back home. Tossing away stuff you knew you wouldn't need anymore, and things you never knew why you kept in the first place. It was a long process and Zayne seemed strange during the entire two months. No matter if it was just the two of you, or the three of you. He'd taken you out sometimes, just the two of you after you've finished packing for the day, or randomly after work, and of course, the two of you always had a good time. There was never a time the two of you didn't have fun, or didn't laugh together, even with Zayne seeming a little off. Although, it seemed you were the only one that thought so.
"What do you mean you don't think he's been a little off the last, what? Month and half, two months?" You asked Emcee during your lunch break.
"He's been the same old Zayne to me. Maybe it's just you?" Emcee shrugged, "Though, I'm pretty sure it's because you somehow know him better than I do, after all, I'm not the one with feelings for him. 'Cause he still seems like the same old Zayne when it's the three of us, and he has his attention on you, when you say he's acting funny."
"Oh. I didn't think of it like that. I guess that's possible."
When you asked Zayne, he insisted everything was fine, and you had no choice but to believe him. After all, soon enough you won't remember him, or at the very least, have fuzzy memories of him. Sure, you would've preferred if Zayne had been as he always had, but you're sure he has strange feelings about all of this as well. Mourning what's left of your friendship before it's even gone.
Emcee asked Zayne if something was wrong on their way back to their respective homes. She noticed the subtle differences after you brought it up. She didn't originally understand what you were talking about, but Emcee wanted to know for herself if you were just imagining it, and she got a much different answer than you did.
"I'm conflicted about my feelings, and her getting the surgery. I'm surprised Y/N noticed."
"She's the only one that did. She must really love you," Emcee said. "Wait, do you love her back? Why didn't you tell her? She could be cured and not forget you!"
"And the chance that I'm wrong and my feelings are platonic? Wanting her flowers to be for me, and having the ability to cure her aren't the same."
"It's not, but it doesn't sound like that's what it is."
"Caleb was right. I did had have feelings for you, Emcee, for a long time. I didn't even realize my feelings for you changed to just platonic, but what I feel for Y/N isn't the same as what I felt for you."
"We're different people that love, and want to be loved differently. That's probably where the difference lies, you know this."
"I do. I thought about what you said when I picked you up from the train station, and I want that as well; I want to love someone how they want to be loved, and be loved in return. I thought of Y/N, how she could be dying because of me, how I could possibly cure her."
"That's a strange amount of power outside of an operating room."
"It is."
"Reciprocated love isn't going to kill anyone. You should tell her."
Zayne wasn't so sure about that.
On your last day of being in Linkon, a stormy rainy day, you and Emcee gathered at Zayne's house for a farewell party. Emcee asked all kinds of questions about you and Zayne when you were younger, even writing some of it down to help bridge gaps in your memory in case you do remember some things. After, you and Emcee managed to convince Zayne to bake a cake together, which didn't take too much convincing at all. Really, the three of you had a great time, and if you the ability to remember times like this after, you knew you'd surely miss this.
Back home in your empty apartment, freshly showered and laying on your bed, you felt the finality of it all. Your bed, and the chairs in the kitchen were the only furniture left. The only things you had were toiletries, and a fresh pair of clothes, everything else was officially shipped off after dinner. It was almost hard to believe. You'd be wondering why you left your dream job in forty-eight hours, why there's gaps from your high school memories. The fact of the matter is, all of that is better than leaving this world behind. While the memories from high school would never be recovered, you knew they'd fade away eventually. You're twenty-seven; you'll make new memories and the gaps won't matter. You'll recover and be able to apply for this job again. Maybe you'll even be able to move back into this same apartment if it isn't rented out in a few months, but you're sure the new renters are already ready to move in by the end of the week.
Thunder cracked outside and rain continued to pound on the windows. A sound you nearly mistook for thunder, until you realized it was a pounding at your door. Which really shouldn't be happening a few minutes passed midnight. You allowed your evol to spark between your fingers as you went to answer the door, cause really, who comes to visit at such an hour? Zayne apparently.
"What are you doing here?" You asked, pulling him from the cool hallway, "I don't even have a clean towel to give you."
"Don't go."
Everything seemed to stop as you registered what Zayne said. A crack of thunder filled the silence, but that might've just been Zayne's voice from emotion as he spoke. You've never seen Zayne so… ruffled? Disoriented? You weren't sure what the right word to describe his state was, but it certainly didn't seem like the Zayne you knew.
"Please, don't go," He repeated.
"I have to… I'll die if I don't. I don't want to die, Zayne," You spoke quietly, softly. Yet you seemed loud in the completely empty living room.
"You won't. I promise," Carefully, he cupped your cheek, gently, cautiously, giving you plenty of opportunity to stop him.
You didn't stop him, instead you leaned into his his damp, cold hand, "You can't promise that."
"I can because I love you. I love you, Y/N. You don't need the surgery, please just stay with me."
"I leave in a few hours. Why now..?"
"Since you told me you scheduled the surgery, I kept thinking about everything we've done together, and how you're going to forget. I don't want that. I know that isn't enough; not wanting to be forgotten is normal, but what isn't normal is after realizing we'd never be together again, I realized I'd have to relive the last decade of my life, forever. Never knowing how it felt to hold your hand, the feeling of your kiss, or seeing you right in front of me. I can't bare the thought of going through that again. Not even for ten seconds."
"Zayne…"
"I'm sorry that I made you wait this long, but I'm here now."
"Yeah, yeah, you are here now, aren't you?"
"I am."
"Kiss me."
Zayne didn't need a second to think about it, he simply kissed you, and you both pulled away a moment later. You took in the easiest breath you've breathed since meeting him again at the bakery, and all you could think about was kissing him again. So you did, and Zayne kissed you right back, kissing you like you'd disappear if he stopped.
"Come home with me tonight," Zayne said when you two finally pulled away, "This place is empty, stay with me, and I'll take you to the train station tomorrow. You should still get your lungs checked to make sure there isn't any damage. You can get some of your stuff back as well."
"Will you help me look for an apartment closer to your place when I get back? Surely this one is rented to someone else already."
"Find out in the morning, and if it is, I'll definitely help you. You can stay at my place until you find one."
Grabbing the last of your stuff and tossing it into the back of Zayne's car, the two of you drove off. As you slept, Zayne listened to you breath; clear and easy with not even a hint of the flowers that once took up space in your lungs. The flowers that were for him.