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21 days, 37 hours and 55 minutes, he remembered.
21 days, 37 hours and 55 minutes since he last saw Lomedy, talking and running and laughing and smiling and–
And Flamefrags thinks he is going crazy. Flamefrags going crazy when he is fighting, sure. But this is another level of crazy. His mind is on fire, his head hurts like hell, his arms and legs give up and his heart is screaming for someone that’s already gone.
He can’t live like this, he can’t live in a world where Lomedy doesn’t exist, and he is going crazy.
Lomedy is what had kept him sane, because Lomedy opened his arms wide with a gentle smile on that lovely face of his, eyes full of cherish and trust and everything good in this universe that Flamefrags can think of, embraced his heavy, sinful and filthy body into his own warm body and that kept him away from being insane.
Flamefrags can’t imagine a life without Lomedy.
Zero day, zero hour and 13 minutes, he thought.
Zero day, zero hour and 13 minutes since Flamefrags had found Lomedy’s body, buried under the ruined farm with a slash deep into his neck, his head barely still hanging on, Lomedy’s left arm twisted with cuts linger on it, the farmer's whole body filled with injures and Flamefrags wished, it should have been me.
It should have been him lying there, eyes wide with terror, staring straight ahead, the goggle that Flame knows he cherished so much shattered into pieces, blood-stained yellow shirt where his heart is, facing with a sword driven into it. Small, weak, unprotected and showed out for the world to see.
Flamefrags shifted his covered eyes from Lomedy’s opened rib cage to his eyes once again and shit, there is nothing there. There are no eyes that curved slightly whenever its owner smiles and shut tightly when Lomedy laughs over something silly that Flame found or eyes to soften with love when its owner sets his gaze on his friend’s face.
So Flamefrags mumbled, I think I can’t live without you.
And that is weird because here he is, standing above his greatest weakness and he is still alive, isn’t he? Then Flamefrags must be a liar and a murderer, for he was the reason Lomedy had to die.
And if Flamefrags had heeded the pleas of his friend, advising him to stop fighting, perhaps Lomedy would still be here, far away from all the dangers Flamefrags had posed and right in his arms. Alive and breathing and humming all of the love in this world out for only Flame to hear.
And at that, Flamefrags cried out, raw and unheard, sallowed by the deep of the night,
“I’m sorry.”