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"Run away with me, Langdon. We'll go somewhere exotic like Michigan...or New Jersey."
"Why, Shen, this is so sudden. What will people say?"
"No one is running anywhere." Jack countered from the other side of the hub, not looking up from his charting.
"Don't run away with him, run away with me instead, we'll go somewhere foreign, like Minnesota or Nebraska," Crus interjected, walking up to the hub and handing Frank a jello cup.
"No," Jack commanded again, half turning to Parker, who was looking at the older attending with a small smirk. It had been a suspiciously quiet shift so far, and with only an hour left everyone was on edge for that peace to shatter in a second. "You have something you want to say?"
"You seem suspiciously calm for someone who just had two men threaten to run away with your man, is all, boss."
Jack fully looked up from his charting to look back at Parker with a completely expressionless face. "I would be more concerned if Frank could actually run."
Jack, Parker, Shen, and Crus turned their attention to where Frank sat, heavily pregnant, munching on his third jello cup of the hour, taking the spoon out of his mouth and glaring at Jack with narrowed blue eyes. "You did this to me."
"Yes, I did." Jack agreed with a hint of a smirk.
"That's it, I'm going back to the day shift."
"Try it, Frankie." Jack challenged, "I dare you."
"I'm with Jack on this one." Shen nodded. "That's the night shift's baby, now."
"I'm fine with us having another baby," Parker took a sip of her energy drink. "But you're the one telling Robby this time."
"No one is telling Robby anything," Frank ordered.
"Hold on," Crus frowned, looking around, "What do you mean, another baby? Also," he turned to Jack. "This is your baby? I thought it was Robby's...with the way he was freaking out about Frank coming to the night shift for two weeks...."
"Apparently," Jack spat out dryly, "we're a bad influence."
"We had fun, one time, seven and a half months ago..." Frank teases, smiling when Jack pointed a warning finger at Frank in a silent warning. "Don't give me that look." He gestured to his stomach. "You did this to me."
"Jesus, you three need to learn family planning."
"You three?" Crus looked around again. "What three? What did you mean by another baby? What the hell is happening?"
Shen and Parker stared at Crus, Jack heaved a sigh, and Frank took another bite of his jello, the baby giving a sharp kick that made him wince in return.
"You don't know?"
"How do you not know?"
Parker and Shen demanded, before Shen moved and put a hand on Crus' shoulder for a very brief moment before removing it at the look the man gave him. "Dude, Robby, Jack and Frank have like four other kids."
"No, we don't."
"Not at all accurate." Jack and Frank corrected.
"Yeah, pretty sure this is kid number five." Parker nodded, thoughtfully, "unless we're not counting Emma."
Shen hummed for a moment, "pretty sure he shares Emma with Jesse."
Jack frowned instantly at that while Frank rolled his eyes. "He does not share anyone with Jesse." He informed Crus. "and Emma is a full grown woman and a nurse."
"A baby nurse."
"So pure, Frank adopted her on sight."
"Such a girl, Dad." Shen and Parker volleyed between themselves. "But seriously, this is like their fourth kid."
"Jesus." Crus breathed out.
"Tanner is Robby's," Shen began, "Penny is Jack's...for obvious reasons."
"She's the OG night shift baby." Parker informed Crus, "if nothing else, to save her from becoming an Ortho asshole."
Frank put his head in his hands and groaned while Jack continued to stare at his two junior attendings, with what Shen referred to once as Jack's 'over it, dad expression' neither attending phased by it at this point,
"And we're not quite sure who Bean belongs to, but she's two and already looks at me like I'm a disappointment." Shen surmised.
"To be fair, she also has a baby crush on Park the Shark." The pair shuddered at the name.
"I hate you all." Frank declared, "Tanner and Penny, I had with my ex-wife, Abby."
Parker and Shen turned their attention to Frank with twin looks of heavy disbelief.
"Yeah, that's false. Never heard of Abby and I'm pretty sure I saw Robby pass out when Tanner was born."
"The man hit the ground hard." Parker concurred as if any of it was actually fact, "Jack cried when Penny walked to him for the first time."
Crus shook his head. "Never mind, I give up."
"For the better." Shen nodded.
"It's for the best." Parker agreed, "And where do you think you're going?"
Frank blew out a breath, straightening where he stood, one hand on the small of his back, the other supporting his stomach. "Oh, don't you know, I'm running away with Matteo."
"Hey," Matteo greeted the group with a coolness that came effortlessly to the bearded man, as he handed a chocolate bar to Frank, who greedily snatched it out of his hands.
"Marry me." Frank breathed out, opening the candy bar. Jack was there in a flash, snatching it out of his hands with a glare at Matteo.
"No."
The rest of the shift passed in the same eery calm that could only spell possible disaster for the day shift, Jack hovering close to Frank as he slowly realised that having the man on the night shift was possibly a mistake, not because Frank was incapable but because he remembered how insane all of them were with the exception of Crus who was now added to the list, if for no other reason then he kept supplying Jello to Frank who would say things like the "baby demands sacrifice" or "how will we be able to tell if this kid has ADD or it's all the red jello?" like they were normal every day sentences.
He gave a genuine sigh of relief when Robby came in. "Why is Shen telling everyone that I passed out when Tanner was born? I wasn't even there when Tanner was born."
Jack shook his head. "I'm pretty sure they're convinced Abby is a myth and you knocked Frank up when he was an MS3." Jack nodded when Robby's mouth fell open. "At least I waited until he was an R1."
".......I'm taking him back to the day shift."
Jack thought for a moment that might be best, but he would never admit it.