Work Text:
It was right at 7pm when you finally made it back home after your shift at work. You were rushing all the way home because you really wanted to try and at least give Jack a kiss on his way out the door to his own shift. It was one of those weeks where both of your work schedules ended up being exactly opposite and you hardly saw each other. You hated it. You dumped your work bag by the door and made your way into the kitchen to scrounge up something to eat. Jack had left you a labeled Tupperware in the fridge with some pasta that he made for dinner. You smiled to yourself as you went to reheat it. Next to the microwave was your husband’s lunch box. Your face split into a real grin yourself when you saw that.
Jack Abbot was not a forgetful man. You rarely knew him to leave anything behind on accident. It had become a little bit of a routine. When your schedules didn’t line up sometimes Jack would “forget” his lunch or dinner or whatever you call the snacks he would only occasionally manage to eat during the night shift. You would bring him his lunchbox shortly after you got off work, acting the innocent concerned spouse. Of course there was an ulterior motive. You remember one of the first times he did it, just after you moved in together. You grab Jack’s lunchbox and head back out to your car.
-
“Hi Robby” you called as you walked through the ambulance bay doors with Jack’s lunch box. Robby raised an eyebrow at you, “And what are you doing here now?” he asked, smirking in a way that said he knew more than he would let on. You just smiled.
“Seems my Dr. Abbot forgot his lunch. It would be terrible of me to leave him to suffer without it.” Dana walked by, making very pointed eye contact with you over her glasses, “Uh huh and suffer he would sweetheart, I’m sure. Just don’t keep him so long this time. I don’t want hand off taking all night.” You felt your jaw drop.
“You’re catchin’ flies, hon. I’ll have him meet you in the staff lounge.” She pointed back at you with her pen, “I’ve got a timer in you two this time. Watch yourselves.”
Your head snapped back to look at Robby. He just raised his hands and started backing away. “Oh, I think I’d listen to her if I were you.” You crossed your arms in defense. “I don’t think I’m the problem in this situation.” Robby mimed locking his lips as he continued to back away, “I do not wanna know.” You giggled as you headed to the staff lounge.
Jack was waiting for you in the staff lounge. The second you were through the door he had you pushed up against the wall, lips on yours in a searing kiss.
“Missed you, baby,” he murmured against your lips as he tangled his fingers in your hair. “Missed you too, honey” you said gripping his biceps. “Brought you your lunch.” You added slightly breathless as he trailed kisses down your neck.
“Mhm you are far too good to me,” he breathed against that one spot on your neck that he knew made you crazy. You were very rapidly losing control of your ability to extricate yourself from the situation you found yourself in. You pulled back before you could think better of it.
“Oh, I am but unfortunately Dana is onto us, she’s got a timer going,” Dr. Jack Abbot pouted at you at that. Full on pouted like a petulant child, and it was one of the cutest possible things he could do. You bit your lip to keep from laughing at the scene.
“Honey it’s just one more day of the fucked up schedule before we both have a day off. We can make it, I’m sure.” You leaned to whisper in his ear, “I am sure I can find several ways to make up for the lost time.” You leaned back to add, “Plus, you have a job to do …” you made a show of meeting his eyes through your lashes as you added, “Dr. Abbot.” You quickly placed a final kiss on his lips and pulled away before you found yourself trapped in the break room all night by your incredibly attractive partner (in his scrubs no less. You loved his scrubs). You dropped the lunchbox on the table.
“No, no way you cannot just drop that and leave,” Jack almost whined as you backed out into the hall. You were hardly able to hold back your laughter and how needy he was, at work no less, as you backed out into the hall.
“If by that, you mean the lunchbox I do think that was the whole point, dear.” You smile innocently. Robby is watching with a grin from under the board and Dana even has a smirk on her face as she catches your eye on her way out.
“Love you honey! I’ll see you at home,” you called back to Jack as you caught up to Dana on the way out. Your husband’s only slightly dejected call of “Love you too, baby. Get home safe,” followed you out the door.
You caught up to Dana as you walked outside into the ambulance bay. “You’re good for him, kid,” Dana says as she heads to her car. Your gaze snaps to hers with the approval. “I? yeah?” you stammer out. She takes out a stick of nicotine gum and starts chewing aggressively. “Yeah, he’s happier. Doesn’t spend nearly as long up on the roof after a bad shift. Now we just have to figure out some way to get Robby down from there as often, sweet Jesus.” She shakes her head. “Have a good night kid.”
You’re left with a warm feeling in your chest as you get in your car to head back to you and Jack’s shared home.
-
The Pittsburgh traffic is horrific at 7:15 in the evening. It’s horrific all the time but it seemed to take even longer now that you were on your way to see your husband at work. You’re the first car up at the intersection two blocks away from the PTMC and you’re practically buzzing with anticipation at seeing Jack. The light changed from red to green. You hesitated for just a second before going to cross into the intersection. Pittsburgh drivers are fucking crazy as Jack loves to warn you about. Car wrecks had caused some of his worst shifts over the years. In the split second you wait to make sure no one is running a red light, you’re hit with a wave emotion, remembering one of the most recent times he came home to you after a rough shift.
-
You had just got out of bed and headed into the kitchen to make coffee when your husband walked through the door. God, your husband. It had only been two months since the wedding and just a week since you were back from your honeymoon. “How’s my husband?” you ask making your way over to Jack.
His shoulders were slumped, eyes red. You pulled his bag from his hands and set it on the bench next to the door. You brought your hands up to either side of his face. His eyes bored into yours like he thought he’d never seen you again. His hands went from slack at his sides to gripping your waist like if he let go, he would crumble away.
You brushed your thumbs across his cheekbones, “Rough shift?” you asked quietly. Jack nods once. You rose onto your tip toes and gently titled his face toward you to place a kiss on his temple. “Let me take care of you,” you asked gently.” Jack shook his head, “No, no I’m alright.” His hands grasped harder at your waist. “I just…” he broke eye contact which was unusual. “Just…need a minute. And you need to get to work.”
“Robby texted.” You said gently, “I already called out of work. I am here for you, as long as you need me, as long as you want me.” Jack’s eyes shone with tears threatening to spill over. “Okay,” he conceded quietly, lowering his head to bury his face in the crook of your neck. His arms wrapped fully around you then, drawing you as close as possible. “Thank you,” he added even more quietly as you felt your shirt (his shirt that you stole for sure) start to damp with tears at the shoulder. You don’t mention it.
You gave him a few minutes just to be there before offering a few different breakfast options. “I’m not hungry,” Jack protests. “Nauseous,” he adds as an explanation. “You’ll feel so much worse later if you don’t eat a little something now.” You say softly. He just nodded once again and picked oatmeal from the breakfast lineup you offered. You make it for him, adding just a little bit of honey and a handful of fresh berries just how you knew he liked. You led him to the couch to sit wrapping a blanket around your husband’s shoulders before handing him the bowl.
“I’m going to go start a bath for you, okay?” you kissed his temple again waiting for him to let you know it was alright to leave him for a moment. “Thank you,” he rasped out. You kiss him once more before heading to the bathroom. You got to work filling the ridiculously large soaker tub that had been at the top of Jack’s wish list for the bathroom remodel (“Look at this one babe we can both fit in it”-Jack Abbot, very loudly, in the home improvement store). You add Epsom salt and the spa pillow while the tub finishes filling with steaming water.
Back out in the living room, Jack had finished most of the oatmeal. You took the bowl from him and put it int the sink before heading back to help him up from the couch. You wrap an arm around his shoulders taking some of the weight from his bad side. You made your way to the bathroom. You helped Jack to sit down, and he moved to pull his right pants leg up.
“Let me?” you ask, holding his gaze, waiting for him to let you go back to taking care of him. “Okay,” he murmured, hoarse. You knelt in front of him rolling his pants leg up. You looked back up for conformation before removing his prosthetic limb. You set it to the side before begging to message the residual limb and place a kiss on his knee. The look Jack was giving you was intense, but full of adoration. It had taken almost a year and a half before Jack opened up to you about his leg. And even longer before he let you handle his prosthetic. He was worth the wait.
“You’re too good to me,” your husband said. You frowned and shook your head, “I am exactly as good to you as you deserve. I wish I could do more.” You said firmly, holding his gaze. His eyes were shining again as he ground out, “Fuck baby, come here,” and drew you up with strong arms to pull you into a kiss.
It was a slow, reassuring kiss. You let Jack and take what he wanted. What he needed. He pulled you into his lap, arms locked around you. Your hands were in his hair, pulling gently at the curls at the back of his neck. Sometime later he pulled back, “the bathwater is getting cold, we should get in.” “Sure honey, lets get in.”
You help him out of the rest of his scrubs and join him in the gigantic tub. Starting sitting behind him, you begin washing his hair. You drag your nails lightly across his scalp which draws a deep noise from his throat. In any other setting you would have teased him about it, but then you just rinse his hair and place a kiss on the back of his neck.
The water was starting to cool by the time you were done. You moved in front of Jack, settled with your back to his solid chest. You head tipped back onto his shoulder. “It was a car wreck.” He said after a long silence. You don’t move and let him continue. It was a fragile thing when Jack Abbot decided to open up. He tightened his hold around you.
He started taking, listing details of the trauma, voice distant, “It was a couple. They were heading to the grocery store, and a semi lost its brakes and blew through a stop sign. Their sedan didn’t stand a fucking chance. It hit the passenger side. She didn’t make it. DOA. He was beside himself almost wouldn’t consent to surgery. It was fuck…God all I could think about…fuck….” He took a long breath.
Years ago, after a particularly rough night, Jack confessed to you that car crash traumas got to him so bad because the damage was so similar to the damage from mines and vehicle explosions during his deployment. The same way he lost his leg.
You turned in his arms letting him collect his thoughts, “Fuck. All I could think about was being back … there… and coming home to you.” His voice was tight. You pressed your forehead to his. “I’ll always be here for you to come home too, Jack. I promise.”
-
You proceeded through the intersection after probably waiting just a little too long to make sure it was clear. You were surprised there wasn’t honking coming from behind you. Halfway through the intersection, movement to the left caught your attention. You turned your head to see a black SUV barreling towards you.
You loved your car. It was a 2015 Subaru Outback 3.6r with the six liter V6 engine. When you stepped on the gas, it fucking went. You floored it.
You thought you were clear but suddenly there was an impact that sent you spinning out in the middle of a busy intersection. Your car shut off. You scrambled to get it cranked back so you could move out of the busy road. The car that hit you was nowhere to be seen, and pedestrians were running up to you, almost outside your car. It cranked on the second try. You waved them off trying to show that you were fine, no airbags had deployed and your car clearly still ran. You put it in drive and started hauling to the PTMC.
By the time you had parked off to the side and out of the way near the ambulance bay, you were fucking pissed. How dare someone just hit and run you. You were sure there had to be some damage to your car with how hard you were sent spinning. You would get Jack to come out and look at it after you dropped his lunchbox.
-
The last thing that damaged your car was a shopping cart in the grocery store parking lot. Jack noticed it as he opened the passenger door and mentioned it to you. “Looks like you got a door ding,” he said pointing to the spot. You ran over from putting the cart up to look.
“Fuck!” you shouted. “Goddamnit, I don’t even think they make this paint color anymore.” You pouted, “I love my car it’s such a pretty color!” You knew you sounded like a child but didn’t care. You really did love your car.
“I’ll take care of it.” Jack offered with a shrug. You looked at him like he just offered you the moon on a string. “Really?” you asked excitedly before coming a little more to your senses. “It’s probably going to be pretty expensive and it’s just cosmetic. Maybe I should just leave it.”
Jack frowned, “Number one: we are married. My money is your money. Your money is also your money. We can definitely afford it. I,” he emphasized, “Can afford it.” He didn’t do it often but damn did he love to spoil you sometimes. “And it will make you happy. I know how much you love your car. Even if it is a really weird dream car to have.” You dropped into the driver’s seat and leaned over the armrest to give your husband a kiss. “You’re too fucking good to me Jack Abbot. Thank you.”
Jack was a man of his word and take care of it he did. No less than two days later, your car was returned repaired, freshly washed, and detailed. Jack even had it left in the driveway with a bow on the hood. You almost cried.
-
You opened your car door and stood up to head in but were hit with a stabbing pain above your eyebrows. “Jesus,” you said pressing a hand to your temple, “I really gotta drink more water.” You pulled the lunchbox out of the passenger seat and walked in through the ambulance bay doors.
The ED was a swarm of activity as you walked in. A trauma must have just arrived, and you didn’t see your husband anywhere. You saw Robby leaning down to look at the computer next to Dana.
“Hey guys,” you called to them, “Looks like my poor husband forgot his lunch again,” Robby turned to look at you, pulling his glasses off. His face turned to an expression you had never seen before.
“Gurney! Someone get me a fucking gurney!” Robby shouted to the gaggle of students and residents at the desk nearby, to anyone. You looked over your shoulder to see if a trauma had come in, but there was nothing behind you. Dana was rushing towards you with a terrified look on her face.
There were suddenly at least ten people around you. You were pushed down to lay on the gurney. Someone was strapping a c-spine collar around your neck. You tried to speak, to let them know that you were fine and didn’t know what was going on but no one seemed to hear you.
There was blood on Robby’s gloves as he finished cutting your shirt away. You really liked that shirt. Where the fuck was the blood coming from? You knew it couldn’t be you. Could it? Your head had really started hurting. Were the lights always this bright in the ED? The blur of them going by while you were wheeled into a trauma room made you dizzy.
Once you were in the trauma room, everything got louder. There were machines beeping, people shouting. You were transferred from the gurney to the trauma room bed but you didn’t really feel anything when you were moved. You were able to turn your head just a bit in the c-spine collar to see Jack working on someone in the trauma room next to you. “Jack!” you tried to call to him, but your voice sounded strange and distant. Maybe something really was wrong.
Robby moved into your field of vision, calling your name, “Its gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay. Don’t worry. We’ll get you fixed up.” He said softly before turning to look at someone who walked in. You heard a brief conversation with raised voices but couldn’t quite make out what was said.
You heard Robby clear as day though as he shouted, “No! Get the fuck back upstairs and bring me a goddamn grownup! Do you know who the fuck this is?” There was a pause and all you could hear was the beeping of the monitors. “Fucking Go!” Robby roared at what you presumed to be a surgery resident, “before I go up there and drag the whole department down here myself!”
Everyone was moving around you, shouting things you couldn’t understand. You felt okay why was everyone freaking out? There was a thud on the door connecting the two trauma rooms. You turned as much as you could to see Jack at the glass door being desperately pulled away by Dana. His eyes were wild and it looked like it was all Dana could do to keep him from bursting through the doors. You heard his voice but couldn’t make out the words. He sounded desperate. You could hear Dana’s sharp tone over the din. “Like hell you will! You’re not going in there not until-” whatever she said was cut off my someone demanding that you wiggle your fingers.
Your eyes roamed the faces of the mix of night shift and day shift doctors and nurses that only happened near handoff time. You turned to look at Robby again. Your hand shot out to grab his shirt to get his attention. “Robby, what is going on?” you asked. You voice still sounded wrong and shrill. His eyes were red and glassy, “We don’t know. It looks like you were in an accident. It looks like you hit your head and… there’s glass…” He trailed off as your eyes wandered to your arm that was gripping his shirt.
It was your left arm. Your shirt sleeve was gone. Your whole arm was red and there were large glittering pieces of glass embedded from the back of your hand to as far up your arm as you could see.
Oh.
Seeing your own blood pulled you out of whatever stupor you were in. A wave of pain crashed into you. Your left arm felt like it was being shredded by a meat grinder. The pain in your head was blinding now. And pain in your chest so intense that you didn’t understand how you even walked into the ED in the first place. Your eyes moved from your arm down to your chest. You saw hands pressing hard around bloody rags and finally, a piece of glass protruding from the bloody rags. You didn’t know what to do. You had never been in this much pain before. You couldn’t hold back the scream that ripped from your lips.
-
Out in the hall, Jack was pressed against the trauma room door glass. He was watching every movement or everyone in the room. He watched you reach up to grab Robby’s shirt. He couldn’t hear wat you said. Were you in pain? Had they given you anything for it yet? He hadn’t seen them give you anything but there had been such a flurry of activity he couldn’t tell. The glass shards in your arm shone in the light in a way that made him nauseous.
“Dana,” He said, begging. “Please let me in there, please. I promise I won’t get in the way. I promise. I just… I’ll just sit.” Dana’s eyes were full of worry, but she held on to his shoulders. She opened her mouth to speak but whatever she was going to say was cut off by a scream. Your scream. It was the worst sound Jack had ever heard. His knees almost buckled and he swayed in Dana’s grip.
“Woahh let’s get you sitting down,” Dana said but Jack was already turning, scanning the ED. Why were you here? You should have just gotten off work? You weren’t even brought in by an ambulance. How did you get here like this? His eyes landed on Ahmad, clutching the lunchbox, his lunchbox, that you brought in. Ahmad was staring, shocked at the small television in his office that played local news 24/7. Before he even knew what he was doing, Jack was making a beeline over.
The television came into view. On the screen was a car that looked a lot like yours. No. No it was your car. In the middle of an intersection. The video feed from a traffic camera frozen as the news caster droned about a hit and run two blocks from the hospital. Ahmad ripped his eyes away from the screen, fumbling to change the channel.
“Dr. Abbot, I really don’t think you should see this man.” Ahmad said, but he couldn’t get to the remote fast enough. The video feed resumed and Jack watched in abject horror as a black SUV barreled through the intersection and slammed into the driver’s side of your car. Your windows blew but the airbags didn’t. Glass was everywhere in the road. The picture was grainy, but Jack could just make out your form in the driver’s seat, slumped with just the seatbelt holding you up. The car that rammed you sped away. People were running to your car to check on you. You suddenly seemed to come to, get the car started and wave them off. Your car drove out of frame on the screen in the direction of the PTMC.
Jack was staring blankly at the television. How did you even make it here after that? How could you have even walked in? “Dr. Abbot,” he heard Ahmad say, “Dr. Abbot? I think this is yours?” Ahmad was holding the lunchbox out to him. Jack looked down at it. “It’s my fault,” he said softly to himself.
Another trauma had just come in. Lena was directing them. Jack wandered from Ahmad’s office in a daze. It was all his fault. All his fault. He had left the lunchbox so you would bring it to him. All so the two of you could see each other for what? A few minutes? He was walking aimlessly to the ambulance bay doors. Dana was trying to catch up with him to stop him from walking out to do who knew what.
One of the paramedics on their way back out called, “Someone needs to scrap this car out here. Looks like it went through a can crusher and it’s in the fucking way.” Before he could even thing about what he was doing, Jack found himself walking straight out into the ambulance bay. Dana was running to catch up with him now. “Jack,” she called, “You don’t need to go out there. You really don’t need to see that right now.” He didn’t stop.
Outside, pulled over to the side of the bay was your beloved car. The passenger side facing him was fine as he walked. When he rounded the other side, he saw the damage. The back driver’s side door was dented in to the midpoint of the vehicle. The driver’s door was hanging open. There was broken glass from the windows everywhere in the seats. And blood. There was blood everywhere in your seat. So much blood. So much to the point that it didn’t look like there should be any left in you.
Jack was not a squeamish man. He couldn’t afford to be. Not once in his entire career had he been made faint by the sight of blood. Traumas and procedures and gore didn’t make him nauseous. Sometimes the way they made him feel afterwords did sometimes. This was different. This was your blood. He was shaking. Dana made her way over to him. “Come on let’s get you back inside. They’re heading up to surgery. It’s looking good.” She put her hand on his shoulder. “Dana,” Jack panted “I’m gonna be sick…I…fuck” he put his hand over his mouth and moved as fast as he could to the trashcan, just barely making it. Dana rubbed his back as he sank to the ground.
“They gave three units of whole blood, but Garcia is pretty positive about everything. That’s a good sign,” Dana said but Jack wasn’t listening. “It’s my fault. My lunch…I left it on purpose. They wouldn’t have been anywhere near here if I hadn’t.”
“Nuh uh,” Dana said, “were not doing that. You’ve got two options. Garcia in a shocking turn of events that proves she still has a soul left somewhere in her said you can sit in the gallery while they finish the operation. The other option is you can go sit in the waiting room. Robby and I will come up and sit with you once were done.” Jack’s expression was pained as he took several deep breaths. He felt the worry making panic rise in his chest. “I’ll go a watch.” Dana nodded solemnly, “Alright, I’ll walk you up there.”
Jack tried to pay attention as Dana told him what happened after he walked out into the ambulance bay. It looked like most of the blood had come from your nose, not broken, but you were going to have come bruising. The rush CT showed no brain or spinal damage. The smaller pieces of glass from the windows were going to be removed in the OR before being washed out and stitched. The most concerning shard of glass that was protruding from your chest was going to be removed in a thoracotomy so any major bleeding could be taken care of quickly.
Dana dropped him off at the gallery with the promise of either her or Robby coming up soon. Jack didn’t even register her leaving, he was so focused on you on the table down below. You were intubated and draped up for the operation, but he could tell that you had regained some color. You had been so pale in the trauma room. He wanted nothing more than to run down and scrub in so he could go and sit with you. It took everything in him to let Garcia and Dr. Shamsi do their jobs. There was even a whole separate team of residents removing the glass from your arm.
He wished it was him. It was his fault so he should have been the one to fix you. A small part of his mind, the logical, highly competent doctor part knew that that never would have been the best outcome for you. But he wanted it anyways. He wanted to at least touch you, feel that you were still warm and breathing and that the vitals machines weren’t lying to him. He sat down hard in a chair, raking his hands through his hair. Eyes burning, Jack scrubbed at his face looking back to you. All your vitals were still stable, good even for being in the OR. He could barely believe it. It looked like you were going to be alright.
-
Jack had no concept of how long had passed. Robby walked in right after Garcia looked up to motion that they were going to start closing. “I talked to Shamsi on the phone. It sounded like everything went really well.” Robby said quietly as he settled into the seat next to Jack. “Sorry it took me so long to get up here. Shen came in to cover.” He added.
Jack rubbed his eyes, “How long has it been?” Robby checked his watch, “They went up around eight and its only one or so now.” Jack didn’t know what to say. He had been sitting glued to the spot for five hours. He hung his head pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Fuck Robby,” Jack ground out, “Did you see the video? It was on the fucking news. How the fuck did they just drive away? How could that SUV have just blown straight through the light?”
Robby pulled his glasses off and dragged a hand down his face, “Brother, you know just as well as I do that shock is on hell of a drug. I think we should just be glad that they were on the way here. If they had headed anywhere else or stayed at the scene it think we would have a different story on our hands.” The noise Jack made after that comment was as close to a sob as Robby had ever heard. He put a hand on Jack’s shoulder, “But that’s not what happened. They’re gonna be just fine. Look they’re even headed to recovery now.” “Okay,” Jack breathed out, rising shakily from the gallery chair. “Let’s go.”
Robby followed Jack down to recovery. By the time they arrived, Garcia informed Jack that everything had in fact gone perfectly. The large glass shard missed almost everything important because it had lodged between your ribs. As it was removed, there was only one major bleed that had to be taken care of. They were able to easily replace the blood volume you lost and remove all of the smaller glass shards from your arm. You had at least thirty stitches, but nothing was terribly deep. You had even been extubated as soon as you made it to recovery. Jack still looked tortured after Garcia finished giving him the brief. “Did you hear me, Abbot? There’re going to be fine,” she added for emphasis. Jack seemed to come back to himself, “I…yeah. Thank you, Garcia.” She just shrugged. “We take care of our own.”
A shitty hospital armchair was pulled up to your bedside. Someone pushed Jack down into it. He leaned forward scoped up your right hand in his. He placed a gentle kiss on the back of it. Jack heard Robby’s and Garcia’s voices retreating down the hallway and he was left to wait for you to come back to him.
-
Your eyelids felt like they were made of lead and you were freezing. You could hear beeping from something. What that your alarm? You tried to pry your eyes open to see where you were but best you could do was a harsh squint. You were so cold everywhere. Well everywhere but something was warm. Your mind couldn’t seem to put together what was what. You tried to crack your eyes open more and groaned. It was ungodly bright and this definitely was not your bed that you shared with Jack. It was far too uncomfortable, and you were way too cold to be in bed with your space heater of a husband.
There was movement to your right. You turned your head, slowly, so slowly. Man, you were sore. There was your beautiful husband slouched halfway in a chair and halfway onto your bed, gripping your hand. That was the one part of you that was warm. You tried to say his name, but it came out more as a groan. He sat up quickly.
“Baby, you’re awake!” He exclaimed, giving your hand a tentative squeeze. You tried to turn and reach for him, but he quickly but gently pushed you back down. Try not to move much okay Sweetheart. You have a lot of stiches in your left arm.” You blinked at him trying to remember how you got here. You were so groggy and confused and sleepy, but it just felt like you had been asleep for ages. What was going on?
“Are you in pain?” Jack asked, face searching yours for signs of oblivious physical discomfort. You tried to shake your head no but stopped when that sent a bolt of pain into your temples. “Headache,” you rasped. Your throat was so dry. Jack was quick to grab the water from the table next to you. He brought the straw to your lips. “Small sips, yeah that’s it.” he said as you took a few soothing sips. He sat the water back down and reached for the button next to your right hand. “I’ll give you a little bit more pain medicine,” he added gently. You put your hand over his to stop him. It felt like you were lifting a thousand pounds.
He looked back to you, searching your face for something. You were just so confused. How did you get here? Why did you husband look like he had been crying? Why did you have so many stitches and everything hurt? You tried to say his name, and it took a second for all the moving parts to work together to form the words, “Jack? What happened?” You didn’t know why but tears welled up in your eyes and spilled over as you asked.
Jack’s face contorted. He looked like he was holding back tears himself. He grabbed your hand again, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He took a deep breath, “Baby, you were in a car accident. It was pretty serious, but you’re going to be okay.” He gently wiped your tears away. “Oh,” you said, “I don’t think I remember that. I don’t…” you trailed off, thinking. Your head still hurt but you we’re trying to piece together broken memories and thoughts.
“But, oh your lunchbox. I was bringing it to you. Did you get it?” you asked. Jack blinked hard, unable to keep his own tears away, “Yes, baby I did, I did. Thank you” He scrubbed at his eyes, and you frowned. Jack knew that once the anesthesia and pain meds wore off, he would have to tell you what happened all over again when you could actually start to process it. But right then you were safe, at least.
“Honey?” you asked to get his attention again. Groggy or not you could tell when your husband was retreating into the part of his head that dragged him up onto the roof somedays. “Yeah sweetheart?” he asked, seeming to be returned to the present. “I am so cold. Can you …” He stood up to leap into action and grab blankets. “I’m sorry baby! I’ll get you more blankets.” You tugged on his hand that still held yours. “Okay…but can you lay down with me? You’re warm.”
Jack looked back to you wanting almost nothing more, but he didn’t want to cause you any more pain by moving you in the bed. “You’re hooked up to a few machines, and I don’t want to hurt you,” He said softly. You were getting drowsier by the minute but you could feel yourself sharpening just a bit. Most of the drugs were probably getting out of your system. “You won’t…please?” You begged, trying your best at your puppy dog eyes that almost always seemed to win your husband over. Jack paused before nodding and grabbing another blanket from the closet.
He helped you prop up on a pillow and slide over on the bed just a bit. He carefully arranged your IV drip and monitors so that they were out of the way. He arranged the blankets so that he could pull them over the both of you. Lastly, he gingerly sat down on the edge of the bed and toed his left shoe off before removing his prosthetic. He turned, pulling the blankets over both of your legs and eased back against the pillows. Ever so gently maneuvering you so that the pillow you were propped slightly on was replaced by his chest. You sighed in content as he drew the blankets up around both of you. “Better?” he whispered, placing a kiss in your hair. But you were already asleep against him. Jack let himself smile ever so slightly at the sight.
-
The first thing you were aware of as you woke was that you were warm, very warm. You shifted but groaned in pain as your left arm bumped the side of your hospital bed. Your awareness of your surroundings came back slowly. You were in a brightly lit hospital room. You had an IV drip in your hand and some type of monitor attached to your chest. Your left arm was wrapped in gauze and there was something on your chest and side that you couldn’t see for the hospital gown. Most importantly your head was pillowed on Jack’s chest and his arms were wrapped around you. Oh, well that would be why you were so warm. Your husband was a fucking radiator.
“Jack?” you nudged him with your right hand that was trapped between the two of you. He startled awake, not moving but his eyes snapped open as he looked at you. “Hey baby,” he whispered, “How are you feeling?” You tried to wiggle your arm free but it was no use. “Hot,” you pouted. Oh.
Jack was suddenly very awake. He pulled the blankets off of the two of you and moved to get up. “Sorry, sweetheart,” starting to gently shift you over so he could get up. This freed your hand and you grabbed onto his arm. “I said I was hot, not that I wanted you to get up,” you whined. Jack chuckled. “Okay, okay. I’ll stay.” He readjusted so he was holding you again.
“Are you in any pain now?” he asked quietly. You thought for a minute, trying to assess, “Just a little. It’s not bad though I don’t want anything.” Jack frowned but didn’t push. You sat for a minute before finally starting the conversation you really didn’t want to have.
“I…I know something bad happened,” you started, looking into Jack’s eyes. He looked tired. Almost more tired than you’d ever seen him and his eyes were rimmed with red. You swallowed thickly and continues, “But I don’t really remember anything after waiting at the intersection for 1st and Prospect for the light to change.” Your husband took a deep breath and seemed to steel himself before he began to speak.
Jack told you everything in the steady, even voice he used when he was telling you about a bad day at work. It was a little clinical. He explained the wreck, the injuries you came in with, how the shock made it so you weren’t aware you were hurt. He explained the procedure Garcia and Shamsi did in the OR to remove the glass shard and what the recovery would look like for that. He told you what Garcia said about how everything in the OR went perfectly and how you would make a full recovery. His expression was distant but his grip on your waist tightened ever so slightly. You were quiet as you took it all in. It all sounded scary and you were glad you didn’t remember much.
“How are you doing?” you asked, breaking the blanket of silence that had fallen. Jack looked down and you, frowning. “Me?” he asked incredulous. You just held his gaze, waiting. “I’m fine,” he breathed out in a way that indicated he was not fine at all. “I may be in a little bit of a bad way right now, but I know when something is wrong with my husband. Right now, my husband looks like he’s going to walk up to the roof to brood for several hours until someone drags him back down.” You said with as much persuasion as you could muster. He couldn’t look at you.
“I’m just…I’m so sorry sweetheart. If I hadn’t left my lunchbox…you…its all my fault. I am so so sorry.” He squeezed his eyes shut to try and keep fresh tears from falling. You didn’t say anything. He blinked a few times and looked back to you, and you looked…mad? “No,” you said firmly, “What? What do you mean no?” the part of Jack’s brain that blamed himself for this was screaming that you would never forgive him.
“No,” you said, a bit more gently this time seeing his expression. “You weren’t driving the car that hit me. There’s no way this could be your fault.” Jack’s eyes shifted not quite meeting yours, “But…” he tried to say. You just shook your head, “Nuh uh I don’t wanna hear it. There is literally no way that this is your fault.” He still didn’t quite seem to believe you.
“You were coming to see me… when they… it was because you were coming here.” He was so fucking stubborn. New approach.
“Honey.” You said almost sternly. “I was, of my own accord, on my way to go drag you, my very attractive, hot husband, into a supply closet and make out with you for at least fifteen minutes. Dana’s timer be dammed.” Jack went to say something, but you shook your head. “The only thing that you could possibly have to apologize for is being too hot, which you’re already forgiven for. Oh! And for the fact that for all this trouble I still have not received a kiss. That is That is unforgivable.”
Jack looked shocked. You could almost see the gears grinding in his brain, the logical and illogical sides warring with each other. You could tell you finally won when he pouted. “You’re bossy today.” you grinned. “That’s why you married me.”