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Jiwook isn’t that short. He’s 5'3, yeah, but it could be worse. He could be 5‘2 or 5’1, but he’s 5’3. There are shorter people out there.
He doesn’t feel insecure about it, at least not anymore. In high school, it felt like something important, as boys his age worried about looking taller than they really were, about being taller than the girls in their class. Now, though, he realizes it was stupid. He never felt the urge to appeal to girls, anyway.
One thing he also realizes now is how short he feels next to Sullhoon as they stroll together after a party at Haenam and Jin’s dorm. He’s not actually that much taller. He's probably 5’9 and that’s not much for a guy, as he heard around. But Sullhoon has an attitude— he’s older, handsome, effortlessly confident, and has a deep, charming voice. It’s more than enough for Jiwook to feel intimidated, but also other different feelings he doesn’t dare to think about.
They met a few months ago through Haenam, and Jiwook felt captivated as soon as he saw the boy sitting on the sofa, hands in his pockets as he watched the people around him talk. However, Jiwook noticed something important the moment he first heard Sullhoon speak— he has all the mannerisms and tastes of a regular straight boy, and it should be an instant turn-off for Jiwook, but it isn’t and that worries him badly. He even learned what Overwatch was, for fuck’s sake.
“Jiwook,” Sullhoon calls softly, interrupting his thoughts.
“Huh?”
“You’ve been staring at the ground since we left. Is everything okay?”
Jiwook blinks slowly, turning his attention to the boy next to him. He didn’t even notice what he was doing, completely drowned in his own thoughts as soon as they started walking.
“Sorry. I was just thinking.”
“About?” It’s annoying because he looks actually interested, and Jiwook can’t answer that he was actually thinking about how hot their height difference is, so he settles for the best answer he can muster.
“Nothing important,” he shrugs.
Sullhoon doesn’t push. He only nods with his confused deer-looking eyes, returning his focus to the path in front of them. They were walking to his apartment, because Jiwook lives so fucking far from everyone else, and it’s too late to take the train.
He actually slept at Sullhoon’s apartment before, but it’s not the same because Jinsok was with them that day, being his usual funny self and Jiwook was too entertained to be nervous about it. But now? Well, he’s freaking out. He doesn’t want to be weird, and he doesn’t want to scare his straight friend away. It’s stupid, as everything seems to be when it’s about himself.
“Let me,” Sullhoon says from behind, helping him out of his jacket before putting it on the standing coat rack by the door.
“So chivalrous," he teases with a shy smile.
The boy just hums as he properly enters the apartment, stopping by the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”
“Not really.”
He nods, as usual, but he also fills a cup with cold water and offers it to Jiwook, who takes it with both hands. He finishes it with big gulps, water dripping from the corner of his mouth, thirsty as hell after all the cocktails Haenam made for them. The whole party was an excuse for him to try his new bartender kit, a gift from his boyfriend.
“You should drink it too, hyung,” Jiwook says as he hands back the empty glass. He’s familiar with Sullhoon’s beef with water, but it seems necessary after all the alcohol they had.
As expected, Sullhoon grimaces. As not expected, he stares at him for a moment before approaching, his right hand touching his cheek. Jiwook goes completely still, surprised by how close they are. His thumb slides to the water droplets decorating the corner of his mouth, drying it with a firm touch.
“So messy,” he snorts, using the same tone as Jiwook used before. What the fuck.
They separate as fast as they got close and Sullhoon fills the same cup again, drinking the water with small, disgusted gulps. From this angle, Jiwook could see how much his hair grew these past months, a few inches below his ears. They look contrasting together— Jiwook’s grey and short hair is the opposite of Sullhoon’s brown and long one.
“Can we sleep now?” The boy shows him the empty cup, frown still present in his face after drinking water.
“Sure.” Jiwook smiles, satisfied.
They brush their teeth side by side, shoulders touching in front of the bathroom’s tiny mirror. Jiwook makes sure not to spill any toothpaste, scared of Sullhoon repeating the water scene again.
Sullhoon doesn’t make it easy for him.
“Your back will hurt like hell tomorrow,” he reasons, blocking the bedroom door. His room consists of a king-size bed, a desktop computer, a few bookshelves and a Minecraft lamp. It’s charming. Kinda.
“It won't, it’s okay,” Jiwook smiles with his teeth showing, trying to be convincing. He was towering over him now, apparently determined to torture Jiwook.
“I can sleep on the couch, then, since you’re uncomfortable,” Sullhoon says, but his eyes are not sparkling as usual.
“Me?” he frowns. Sullhoon's the one who's supposed to be uncomfortable about this, not him. “I'm not.”
“Then I don't get it.”
Great. Now he has to explain to his straight friend why it would be weird for them to sleep together. Is Jiwook overreacting? Maybe. But it is kinda weird, right?
“I just don't want to make you uncomfortable.”
“What? Why would I be uncomfortable?” Sullhoon looks genuinely confused. If Jiwook wasn't feeling so nervous, he would probably find it endearing.
“It’s weird,” Jiwook blurts out, bothered with the discussion in the first place.
“Oh, okay.”
He looks taken aback with his reaction, shoulders slumping as he gets out of Jiwook’s way. Sullhoon takes a pillow from the bed and a blanket from his wardrobe, ready to sleep in the living room. Jiwook feels guilty while he watches, feet still planted in front of the door. He feels the need to explain himself for some reason.
“I mean, you’re straight and I’m- well, you know, gay.” Of course, Sullhoon already knows that. It’s not a secret. Jiwook is out and proud, but somehow he still feels weird pointing it out. “It’s weird,” he says, again.
Sullhoon turns slowly, eyebrows almost touching. “Uh, what you said?”
“It’s weird?” Jiwook offers.
“You think I’m straight?” He drops everything on the bed again, looking truly incredulous. What?
“What do you mean, think?”
Sullhoon approaches him again with small steps. “I’m not.”
“You’re not?”
“No, Jiwook. What the hell?”
“Oh. I’m sorry, hyung,” he says, uncertain. Jiwook can barely look him in the eyes, embarrassed by the whole situation.
Sullhoon still looks incredulous. He turns his back to Jiwook, sighing while he runs both hands over his face, frustrated.
“So you didn’t notice?” he stares at him again.
“Notice what?” Jiwook asks, clueless. He takes the opportunity to close the gap between them, inserting himself into Sullhoon’s space again.
“I’ve been flirting with you for weeks!”
“What? Really?” Now it’s his turn to look incredulous. That can’t be remotely true. This is not a rom-com. He would’ve noticed, because it’s something he was hoping for all these months.
“Yeah,” he answers with a small voice. His cheeks were rosy, and he was averting Jiwook’s gaze like crazy. This is definitely new.
“How?”
“I even put our Minecraft beds together,” Sullhoon defends himself, pathetically.
“And that’s flirting?” Jiwook takes one more step, hugging the boy’s neck with both hands while looking up because of their height difference. He’s the nervous one now, and it’s cute as hell.
“Yeah,” he nods, unfocused. His hands meet Jiwook’s waist hesitantly.
“That’s cute but I don’t think it works like that, hyung.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
They smile shyly at each other, and he’s entranced with how pretty Sullhoon is under the moonlight that invades the bedroom’s window. His eyes are sparkling again, taking turns at Jiwook’s own eyes and mouth.
“Can I?”
He finally asks the question Jiwook’s been fantasizing about since he first saw him seated on that sofa. Jiwook doesn’t waste time answering— he tiptoes, trying to match their height to finally seal their lips.
It’s a weird fit at first, both of them surprised with Jiwook’s forwardness, but after a few seconds, their lips are moving hungryly against each other, and it feels so good. Sullhoon pulls him in as close as he can, hands now squeezing his waist above the thin shirt in a way that makes Jiwook sigh against his mouth.
“Woah,” Sullhoon says after they separate, foreheads still touching. He’s such a loser.
Jiwook snorts. “Yeah, woah.”
When they eventually lie down, cuddling under the covers while talking about all the times Sullhoon was supposedly flirting with him, Jiwook finally feels content with everything.