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Blade was just on a walk. It had been a week. A week since that had happened. A week since he'd brutally murdered both Farmer as well as that creeper.
Blade needed to fucking clear his head after everything. He just aimlessly walked around, the sun setting and casting this pink-orange glow over the village.
Blade stopped once he'd realized where he was. In front of...Steve's house. But this house wasn't always Steve's. It had been... Oh good God. Blade froze and stared at the damp grass in front of him.
The rain of the past week had washed away any trace of Farmer left behind. But Blade swore on everything that he could still see the blood pooling around that innocent, slashed-open corpse. He looked down at his sword. Bloodstained in his vision. Permanently stained with Farmer's blood. His heart began beating faster. Blade could feel himself sweat as he recounted the details of that day.
The creeper stood behind Farmer, who was glaring at Blade. Those brown eyes, those brown eyes that were glossed over with the fluids of death...the visions, the mere thoughts sent shivers down Blade's spine. He was shaking now, barely even able to get a single breath out. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't. This place made him feel sick. When suddenly-
"Blade?" Steve called out from the doorway. He stared at the trembling man that stood silently in the grass.
Blade didn't even look at Steve.
"Blade, are you ok?" Steve walked over to him. Blade stared down at the grass, gripping his sword like a lifeline. "Are you hurt? Did something happen?" The questions were only making Blade panic more.
"I'm. I'm fine." Blade straightened himself up a let out a shaky breath. "Just...walking. I'm fine." He stared over the top of Steve's head, not even daring to make eye contact. He couldn't even hear a word that Steve was saying. His vision blurred and all he could hear was his own breathing inside of his head. He was dissociating. He was suddenly back on that same grass Farmer would lie dead on.
"I gave him my word." Farmer's voice was firm yet quiet. Blade gritted his teeth and gripped his sword tighter.
"So be it."
The pair struggled for minutes and minutes. A brutal, lethal slash through Farmer's stomach. He cried out in pain and fell to the grass. The blue of Blade's sword was turned to a crimson.
Blade's hand shook. Blade was blinded by rage.
He didn't mean what he had done. He didn't mean to kill Farmer. He didn't, he really didn't mean to.
The creeper exploded. Finishing off Farmer. The creeper had tried to kill Blade. Yet it killed Farmer instead. Blade laid in the grass, vision blurred. His head spun. He'd been knocked out for about eight seconds. Blade struggled to process what was even happening in the moment. Had...had this really just happened? Blade sat up, hand shaking. Hook shaking. He could feel shivers rack his body as he stared ahead. He heard Steve run up frantically, nearly falling over.
"Blade..." he panted. "Wait..."
Blade stared at nothing. He looked over at the sunset. On the grass lay Farmer's destroyed bloody hat and his shovel. The grass was covered in crimson stains and chunks of flesh.
Blade felt something catch in his throat. His stomach lurched. He wanted to vomit right then and there. Blade had seen death. He'd seen blood. But this...this was different. He'd been the perpetrator of this. This wasn't a 'typical' creeper attack. This was...an attack caused by...him. Tears threatened to break through Blade's eyes. His words came out in a whisper; his voice reduced to a ghost.
"Get the villagers." He could hear Steve's breath trembling behind him. That speech he'd done that same night, it was the hardest speech that he'd ever made. Those things, those demons in the back of his head. Gnawing at his thoughts, threatening to spill his tears. Blade felt himself shaking. On the inside, he was nothing but a sobbing, trembling mess. That inside of his wanted to crawl out. He didn't let it. Blade felt loud ringing in that memory until he realized that it was a voice. His name.
"Blade. Blade?" He was dragged back into reality. Steve was shaking Blade's shoulders and trying to ground him.
"Get. Off." Blade snapped, shoving Steve away.
Steve noticed a significant change in tone. His tone was more...high-pitched. Shaky. Like he was trying not to cry or something. Steve could see hurt in Blade's eyes. Hurt. He was hurting. Steve knew how the eyes of a hurt person looked. Blade's violet irises shone in the sunlight, turning some light lavender-esque shade. Blade didn't even look at him. He looked away and into the grass. Shaking. Steve noted his hands shaking. Well, his hand shaking. Correction.
There was shallow, fast breathing. But it wasn't coming from Steve. Blade suddenly collapsed to his knees; arms wrapped around himself. His throat was tight. His stomach hurt from pure guilt. Guilt is the worst of all the pains. It's the type of vomit-inducing pain. Aching pain. Pain that makes you want to kill yourself. The guilt was gripping Blade in a chokehold. He felt his panic only grow worse as Steve reached his level and sat in front of him.
"You're having a panic attack, ok?" His voice was soft. Blade didn't like the baby treatment. He wasn't a fucking baby.
"I'm...I' m fine...Get...Off..." Blade gasped for air desperately and tried to shove Steve away. Steve wasn't even touching him yet. "I'm not...I'm not..." Two hot tears streamed down Blade's face, in front of Steve of all people. Steve wasn't judgmental. He was being... caring. Wait... was Steve trying to console him? His vision was blurring from tears, but he felt his hand being grabbed. Steve's skin was baby-soft compared to Blade's. He clearly didn't do a lot with those hands of his.
"Can you try to breathe for me?"
"I-I... I can't..." Blade doubled over, letting his unwanted tears drip onto the grass.
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
"...Go...Away..." Blade's voice was weak and strained and he felt himself getting lightheaded from the lack of air entering his system.
Steve gripped Blade's hand tighter, somewhat massaging it. He tried his best to give Blade a little bit of space whilst still attempting to calm him down. He kept his voice low and soft.
"Just listen to my voice, ok? Try your best to breathe." Blade felt himself break into a sweat. He doesn't bother to wipe his eyes with his sleeve. His breathing stabilized a bit. That's when he began to cry. Blade didn't even realize that he was borderline sobbing at that point, gripping Steve's hand like a lifeline. Steve let him cry, occasionally mumbling some comforting nonsense that he honestly doubted even worked. But maybe...just maybe, they did. Because Blade eventually did somewhat calm down. He had the strength to pull from Steve's grasp.
"I am... Not...Ok, Steve." He wiped his face with his shirt collar.
"I know," Steve replied. He gazed off into the sky. The sun was nearly completely set, leaving the sky a dim purple with a thin orange line that stretched across the horizon. "It's getting late," He shrugged. "Would you... like to stay the night?"
Blade laid down onto the grass, not caring that the green poked at his face. The grass was damp, and it felt good against his overheated skin. He was laying on his side, facing Steve. "Want to. Stay here." his voice had lost its firmness.
Steve tilted his head. "Here? On the...grass?" Blade made a noise that resembled agreement.
"Too tired."
Steve smiled. "Ok. We can sleep out here." The brunette laid out himself next to Blade, staring up at the sky with his arms behind his head.
"Want to talk about why you got so worked up?" No response. Because Blade was already asleep. Steve removed the helmet for him and brushed some wispy tear-damp strands of hair from his face.
Steve didn't think he needed to know why Blade had that panic attack. Because he already knew. Blade wasn't the only one who experienced the trauma of that week before. The two laid mere feet away from where flesh and blood soaked the earth just days beforehand. But that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was... Well, Steve wasn't exactly sure what mattered anymore.
Him and Blade could be friends first. Despite everything. Yeah, that's what mattered. But right now? Everything felt just fine. Everything felt ok.