Chapter Text
Sirin woke to the indignity of drooling on the pillow beneath her.
For a single second, that is all she knew.
She pushed herself upright at once, the movement clumsy as white hair curtained her face. She glanced around, finding herself in an unfamiliar room. It was messy, the bed wasn’t particularly soft. Her first impression was that it must be a dormitory of some kind.
She felt the void core within her, pulsing weakly like a second heart.
Her lips curled into a smile. The exact method of her revival was unimportant, she was awake in this body and could freely continue her revenge.
She reached inwards, intent on drawing on enough power to level the building she was in and the surrounding area in an instant. In the past, it had come to her easily. She wished for something, it happened. It was the power granted to her by God to see her revenge through.
The air in front of her wavered for only the briefest instant.
Then nothing happened.
Sirin sat incredibly still, realizing just how weak she felt in the moment. Her core was there, but it was like there had been a dam built between it and herself that prevented the power she should be able to call on with minimal effort from responding to her will. Her lips twisted into a frown. She could tear down that block, but it would take time.
She could be patient, she convinced herself.
She reached inwards, not towards her core, but to her host body’s memories. A somewhat frustrated sound escaped her as she realized that she couldn’t quite recall them all, merely fragments.
Her host’s name was Kiana Kaslana, she had more than once sat in a classroom and wished to escape through the nearest window.
She saw a short woman with white hair. She remembered her from her own memories. She was important, so she needed to be avoided.
There was a red-haired teacher who seemed to be simultaneously exasperated and fond of her host in equal measure. But she was busy, she could work around it.
There was a small gray-haired girl who seemed to make her host feel combative at sight, though there didn’t seem to be any true negative emotions attached. It would be difficult, but the other girl seemed to remain silent mostly.
Then, Raiden Mei.
She remembered a voice saying Kiana’s name in half a dozen tones, each one making her host’s heart flutter in her chest. She remembered warm hands and her dark hair and beautiful eyes. She remembered a smile that had been committed to memory and recalled over and over until it had become something close to worship.
Sirin stared at the wall across from her.
So, Raiden Mei was important. That was annoying.
She glanced to the door. In another circumstance, she would open a portal and be far from here before anyone could notice. But that was not an option that had been presented to her.
She sifted through what other fragments of memories she could call on, and thought of her situation so that she could begin to form a plan.
She couldn’t call upon her power, at least properly. She did not know the full power of the forces around her. She was in a school for Valkyries, in a body that would certainly be monitored. Surrounded by people familiar enough with Kiana Kaslana to notice any deviations in her behavior if they were too dramatic.
So, she would have to lie low. She would avoid attention, speak as little as possible, and draw on her host’s habits where she could. If questioned on any oddness, blame sleep, or hunger, or stupidity. Kiana Kaslana appeared to possess an abundance of the last one.
She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood, ignoring that the body still felt weak. The limbs were different lengths than what she remembered possessing, it would take some time to adjust.
All she had to do was keep her head down until she recovered her strength. After that, she could continue with her revenge, beginning with this small group of humans who had made themselves inconveniently important to her host.
It would be easy, she thought to herself as she crossed the room and opened the door to the quiet hallway. If she could trust her host’s memories, at this time of day, Raiden Mei would be preparing breakfast. Kiana would normally enter the room without shame and ask what was for breakfast before even offering a greeting.
Sirin scowled at the thought.
She absolutely could not act like that. She would make a mistake far too easily, it was too unlike her to even attempt. She would say little, appear like she was tired or even sulking, and retreat from view after having made an appearance. That would be the easiest path to what she wanted.
Then she reached the kitchen doorway and forgot every sensible thought she had just had.
There was a girl standing at the stove, facing away from her.
Dark hair was tied up loosely away from her face, her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, and she moved with a grace that almost felt like it belonged to a dance hall rather than this apartment’s small kitchen.
She was beautiful.
At least, that was the unwanted thought that came to the forefront of Sirin’s mind.
The girl seemed to sense her movement, turning to face her fully.
Sirin, The Second Herrscher, The Herrscher of the Void who had nearly brought the world to ruin nearly a decade and a half ago lost hold of every single plan she had made in the last five minutes and stood there like an idiot while Raiden Mei looked at her and smiled.
Mei was already moving around the kitchen in a well-practiced rhythm by the time the sun was beginning to rise.
The apartment was rarely quiet for long, so Mei had started to appreciate these early mornings when she was the only one awake. She expected to have longer than normal today; Bronya had stayed up well past midnight playing a game the night before and Himeko had arrived home late complaining about an early meeting the next day before collapsing face first on the couch for a full minute before seemingly remembering she had her own room.
Kiana would usually wake early, but that was only because she wanted to eat before anyone else got a chance to.
Most mornings, she would stumble in while only half-awake, leaner over the counter near the stove watching Mei work, asking every two minutes if Mei would be done, or if Mei would be making extra, or if she could taste test something early for “quality control.”
This morning, however, the kitchen door opened and no one said anything at all.
Mei glanced over her shoulder after a moment, wondering who had woken up early.
Kiana was standing in the doorway, her hair still messy and one of her pajama sleeves hanging a little low over her hand as the collar hung off her shoulder. There was nothing obviously wrong with her at a glance, but she had stopped just over the threshold of the kitchen, looking almost uncertain on whether she was meant to be there.
Mei paused, uncertain if this was some sort of prank, or if Kiana was still half asleep.
“Good morning, Kiana.” She said, instead.
Kiana blinked, as though she had been startled by the greeting. “... Morning...” She said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Mei turned one of the knobs on the stove, turning down the heat. “You’re up early.”
“I woke up.”
It was such a direct answer that Mei had to take a moment to study her face.
Maybe Kiana hadn’t slept well. It would explain the strange stillness and how she seemed hesitant to raise her voice to its normal volume. Or maybe a bad dream. Kiana had them sometimes, though she would never admit it. She would just be a tiny bit more irritable through the day, work harder during her training, and then be a bit more clingy at night.
Despite those theories, Kiana was still strangely quiet.
Mei smiled gently at her for a moment before returning to making breakfast, only casting the occasional glance backwards. “Bronya is still asleep. Himeko-sensei hasn’t stirred yet either. So it’s just us.”
Kiana’s gaze scanned over the kitchen for a moment before settling on a nearby kettle with an odd intensity.
“Do you want anything while I finish? Water?” Mei asked, cracking an egg as she did so.
Kiana was silent for a moment, just long enough to feel strange and cause Mei to look back.
Then, slightly hesitant, Kiana whispered an answer. “Tea.”
Mei stared for a moment, watching as Kiana shifted somewhat uncomfortably on her feet, as if she was regretting speaking. “If there is any.” She added, her gaze shifting to the floor.
Tea. Not milk, not juice, not asking if there was anything she could have early or if there would be enough for seconds to be set aside for her after breakfast. She had asked for tea, already odd for Kiana, but even more odd in how quiet and careful the request had been.
“Tea?” Mei asked, just to confirm.
Something akin to wariness crossed Kiana’s face. “Nevermind.” She said suddenly, though still quiet. “If it’s inconvenient… I mean.”
That unsettled Mei far more than anything else this morning.
“It isn’t inconvenient.” Mei said immediately. “I was only surprised.”
Kiana’s shoulders eased somewhat, though there was still a slight tension there that Mei couldn’t begin to understand.
Mei opened the cupboard and considered her options. Kiana had rarely, if ever, asked for tea. She hadn’t made a specific request either, so she wasn’t sure what to get her. Black tea? She hummed for a moment, considering it, before deciding that it would not be to Kiana’s tastes. She eventually decided on jasmine tea, and began to prepare that on the side while still working on breakfast.
Behind her, Kiana had moved a few more steps into the kitchen, but was making an effort to stay out of Mei’s way. Instead, she was standing near the table with a strange stillness that was so unlike herself that Mei was having to actively prevent herself from casting too many looks back.
She was only sleepy, Mei told herself. Or embarrassment over a dream. Something like that.
She glanced back once more when she heard movement again. Kiana had taken one of the chairs and sat down finally, with her hands in her lap and her posture straight. It wasn’t exactly rigid, but it was more than out of the ordinary for Kiana.
Maybe she was starting to feel sick.
Mei focused on breakfast, but she always pulled herself away to prepare Kiana’s tea the moment she could, pouring her a cup as soon as she could and carrying it over to Kiana while the rest of breakfast still needed her attention.
“Kiana-chan.” She said, the girl looking up quickly from having seemingly been studying the table’s surface. She set the cup down in front of her, “Careful, it’s hot.” She warned.
For a moment, Kiana looked at the cup as though she did not understand what it was doing there, then she looked up at Mei. She stared with a stunned expression, as though Mei had performed some difficult task for her.
“You made it already.” Kiana said, still quietly.
Mei allowed herself to smile, “You asked for it.”
“Yes…” Kiana said softly, looking back down at the cup for a moment. “I did.”
There was a loose strand of hair caught against Kiana’s cheek. Without thinking, Mei reached forward to tuck it back behind her ear.
Kiana flinched.
Mei stopped at once, her hand barely an inch away from Kiana’s face.
“Kiana-chan?”
Kiana had gone very still, staring at Mei with something that wasn’t exactly fear, but was something more than what could be classified as simply surprise.
“I’m sorry.” Mei said immediately, pulling her hand back. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
Kiana glanced from side to side, “No.” She said, “I…”
She trailed off, seemingly uncertain of what to say next.
Mei knelt beside the chair, studying Kiana’s face for a moment. “Are you feeling unwell?” She finally asked.
Kiana looked to her, then away. “No.”
“Did you have a bad dream?”
Something shifted on Kiana’s expression. She reacted almost like how one would when a bruise is touched while it was still sore, just a slight grimace.
“I don’t remember.” She said, finally.
Mei frowned, about to press further to get to the bottom of what was going on, but a pan on the stove hissed suddenly and she had to return her attention to it finally.
“Drink your tea before it gets cold. Breakfast is almost done.”
Kiana lowered her gaze to the cup. “Okay.”
Back at the stove, Mei found herself paying more attention to what was happening behind her more than the food in front of her. She imagined Kiana asking for sugar, or making some sort of displeased reaction as the tea wasn’t to her taste. Instead, none of that came. When Mei glanced back, she only found Kiana holding the cup with both of her hands and looking down into it with a puzzled expression.
Mei plated breakfast and brought the dishes to the table one by one, Kiana watching her in the same subdued manner she had been acting all morning, even removing her hands from the table to make more room.
Kiana stared at the food for a moment. Then, the first time since she had entered the kitchen, she smiled.
It was strange. Not that Kiana smiling was strange, but this specific smile was. It was almost shy, almost like she didn’t believe what she was seeing. It was the complete opposite to Kiana’s normal large grins and the variety of other expressions she had that were impossible to miss.
“It looks very good.” She said after a moment, having noticed Mei staring.
“T-thank you.” Mei stuttered out, not so sure why she was embarrassed.
They ate in silence.
It should have been awkward. This was unlike how Kiana had ever been since Mei had met her. Silence from Kiana was a cause for concern, either she was unwell or she was planning something.
Kiana ate slowly. It was almost like she was unsure, having to reteach herself how to eat, or which utensil to use. She didn’t ask for seconds, she didn’t reach over to steal from Mei’s serving. She simply ate in silence.
Finally, Mei was unable to stop herself from staring. “Are you alright?” She asked.
Kiana looked up, “Yes.” She murmured, glancing away for only a moment.
“You’re very quiet.”
Something flickered in Kiana’s gaze, wariness or surprise. “Am I?”
“Yes.” Mei said, gentler than she had been before. “It’s unlike you.”
Kiana’s gaze settled down on the food in front of her. “I didn’t mean to be strange.”
She sounded almost ashamed.
“You’re not strange.” Mei said immediately. “Just… different.”
Kiana went very still. Even with her face turned downwards, Mei could see her glancing around. To the door, to the window, anywhere but at Mei.
Mei regretted her phrasing immediately. “I only meant-”
“I know.” Kiana cut her off, her voice still quiet. She didn’t sound necessarily upset or panicked, just strangely surprised. It was almost like she had expected Mei to not comment on how she was acting at all. Silence fell over them again.
At one point, Mei reached to brush a grain of rice away from Kiana’s mouth. Kiana flinched so harshly that the chair legs scraped against the floor.
Mei’s hand stopped again, Kiana’s gaze locked onto it before slowly she looked to Mei. Her expression, again, wasn’t exactly what Mei would call fear. It was almost like an expectation, but of something Mei couldn’t name.
Mei felt her chest tighten at the sight.
“There was rice.” She said quietly, almost apologetically, before letting her hand fall back to the table.
Kiana said nothing, before she touched the corner of her mouth, brushed the grain away, and looked down.
“I see.”
Mei was unable to stop herself as she stood and walked around the table, crouching beside Kiana’s chair. She made sure to move slow enough that even someone half-asleep would be able to track her every movement.
“Kiana-chan.” She said, gently. “Look at me.”
After a moment, Kiana did.
Up close, Mei could see the smallest differences. She was certainly looking at Kiana, but she had also seen Kiana every day for well over a year now. There were differences in her expressions that Mei had never seen before, it was almost like looking at a different person with the same face.
She lifted her hand, giving Kiana more than enough time to draw back if she wanted to. She only wanted to place it against her forehead, to see if she was running a fever.
Kiana flinched again just before Mei’s hand touched her. Smaller than before, like she had realized it was about to happen and had stilled herself.
“It’s alright.” Mei murmured, though she was still unsure what she was trying to reassure Kiana about. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
Kiana’s eyes widened at the words, and something in Mei ached at the sight. She cautiously, slowly, tucked a loose strand of hair behind Kiana’s ear.
Kiana didn’t lean into the touch like she normally would, instead only sitting there as though Mei’s gentleness was something she was unprepared for.
Mei rose and returned to her seat after confirming Kiana was not showing any symptoms of illness.
“Disaster.” Himeko’s voice announced her presence as she entered the room suddenly. “Absolute disaster. I overslept.” She said, already pulling a jacket on. “Theresa has already started sending me threatening messages.”
Mei was already starting to stand, “I can pack something for-”
“No time.” Himeko interrupted. “I’ll grab something later.” She said, then her gaze landed on Kiana, who was still sitting in silence. “You’re up early.”
Kiana kept her gaze on the table in front of her. “Apparently.”
Himeko squinted for a moment, then shrugged as she seemed to decide she was too tired to either work out what was off or just didn’t care. “Well, have fun being up this early. I wouldn’t recommend making a habit of it.”
Himeko had poured herself a cup of coffee and drank it far too quickly, long before it had cooled even slightly. She pointed towards Mei as she began to make her way to the door. “Don’t let Bronya sleep in too late.”
“She only stayed up until about three this time.” Mei informed her.
“Hm. That’s early.” Himeko hummed, “Well, I’m leaving.”
Then she was gone, and silence returned and lasted long after the apartment door clicked shut. Kiana stared at her cup for a few moments before raising the cup to her lips.
It had cooled between the start of breakfast and Himeko’s interruption. Mei got back up to refill it with the pot from the counter.
Kiana watched her, seemingly mesmerized by the entire thing. Kiana looked from Mei, to the tea, then back to Mei. “You keep doing that.” She whispered.
“Doing what?”
“Being…” Kiana paused, looking down to the table as if it held the answers. “Kind.”
Mei wasn’t sure what answer she had been expecting, but it certainly hadn’t been that.
“Kiana-chan…” She said, if only because she wasn’t sure what to say immediately. “I’m always kind to you.”
Kiana’s eyes widened, as if it was some shocking revelation. She looked astonished. Then, she smiled again. A small smile that was entirely unlike her normal self.
“Yes.” She whispered, “I suppose you are.”
They finished eating in silence, and when they were done, Kiana stacked her dishes with far more care than she ever would and stood.
“I think.” She started, not looking directly at Mei. “I’m going to sleep a little longer.”
“You do seem tired still. Go rest, I’ll get this cleaned up.” Mei said, as she started to collect the dishes.
Kiana nodded, took one step away, then stopped. She turned towards Mei, with that strange small smile on her face again. She looked almost shy.
“Goodbye.” She whispered, and Mei stared for a moment.
“Kiana-chan. You’re only going down the hall.”
Kiana looked confused for a moment, “Right.” She mumbled, and then left.
Mei stared at the empty hallway long after she had left.
Kiana had looked at her as though kindness was unexpected. She wasn’t sure how to feel about that, was it really just that she had been tired? She knew that it could be the cause for some oddness, but deciding it was just that didn’t sit right with her.
Later in the morning, Bronya would emerge still sleepy and unapologetic at her habits. She accepted the reheated breakfast and only offered a tilt of the head when Mei mentioned that Kiana had acted strange that morning.
Even as she went about her day, Mei still found herself glancing towards Kiana’s door every so often, listening for any movement or any sign of activity inside.
It was close to noon when the bedroom door finally opened.
“Mei-senpai!”
Kiana had stumbled into the living room while rubbing one of her eyes, her hair even more of a disaster than before. “Why didn’t you wake me up? I slept forever. Is there any breakfast left? Wait…” She paused mid-step, her gaze falling onto Bronya. “Did Bratnya eat everything again?”
Bronya, sprawled on the couch with a game console in her hand, did not look up. “Bronya ate her own portion and then what remained by legal right of abandonment.”
“You villain!”
“Subject Kiana was unconscious. Bronya could not allow Sister Mei’s effort to go to waste.”
The two devolved into a small argument, ending when Kiana turned to Mei. “Mei-senpai, you have to tell her that she’s evil.”
Mei could only stare.
“Mei-senpai?” Kiana asked, her head tilted to the side.
This was undeniably Kiana. More so than she had been this morning, appearing full of energy and completely healthy.
“Kiana-chan…” Mei said slowly, “Do you remember breakfast?”
“What breakfast?” Kiana asked with a frown.
“This morning, earlier.”
“I was asleep.”
Mei stared, looking for any trace of her teasing or joking and found none. Kiana stared back.
“You asked for tea.”
“Why would I ask for tea when there’s milk in the fridge?” Kiana asked, seemingly genuinely curious.
Bronya finally looked up from her game, “Subject Kiana asking for tea does sound improbable.”
“Thank you, Bronya.”
“But Subject Kiana forgetting something she did while half-asleep sounds very probable.”
“Whose side are you even on?” Kiana asked, looking betrayed.
A brief argument followed, and the topic of conversation was left behind as everything seemed to return to normal. Mei continued to stare at Kiana through the day, looking for any sign of the seemingly entirely different girl she had shared breakfast with that morning, and finding nothing.
She remembered that small, almost sad, smile that she had been given. Like the kindness she had given was an unexpected, but precious, gift.
Kiana had smiled at her over a thousand times, and she knew each of those smiles by heart.
Yet, the smile from this morning had been something entirely different and new.