Work Text:
10/03/2026.
The company officially announced that Heeseung, the eldest of his group—his band, his family—would be leaving to pursue a distinct musical vision. Bullshit, he thought. It was obvious why this was happening; the company had always been like this. The world was often unkind to his members and to him. But this one? This one hurt the most.
He chose not to believe this ridiculousness, insisting his eldest—his favourite person, his steady support—would never choose to leave him or the group in such a horrid place. But as Sunoo looked at Heeseung’s face, the disbelief inside him slowly started shifting to doubt. The certainty he had built about their relationship faltered, and fear crept in, threatening to replace his trust with a painful new reality.
“Heeseung hyung, are you sure this is exactly what you want?” Jay asked, his voice slicing through Sunoo’s dilemma and daze as all six members faced their eldest.
“Yeah, I think this is the best way for us to make sure we’re all... safe for our futures. My dream won’t interfere with yours, and you could always continue as you would’ve wanted. I wouldn’t be the speedbreaker you keep on slowing down upon.” Heeseung replied, hesitating as he carefully tried to work his words without giving too much away. He paused, his eyes darting to the ground before meeting their gazes again. "You know how the company is. They look for reasons, and I just... I can't help but worry that if I stay, all of you—your opportunities, your freedom—might get caught in the crossfire with me. They keep saying they want us to be safe, but it always feels like a warning, like there's a line someone will eventually cross. I can feel the pressure building on all sides. I don't want my choices or the risks I take with my music to become the excuse they use to hurt any of you further, or to close doors on you. It's not just about dreams—it's about protecting what we fought for together."
He knew Heeseung. After the debut, their closeness hadn’t faded; instead, it only grew stronger. Suddenly, it began to wane and diminished to a bare minimum. Both struggled to maintain even that. During that period, Sunoo had studied his eldest brother closely. He learned his antics and read him like a book. Even when Heeseung tried to hide things, Sunoo’s empathy let him sense the truth. Jungwon observed details, but Sunoo just knew. He didn’t have to watch people long or search for clues to piece the picture together. He trusted his gut. Sometimes, he was wrong. This time, however, he felt certain in both heart and mind.
“What do you mean by safe futures?” Sunoo’s voice, uncharacteristically harsh, cut through the tension of the room. With each word, his emotions shifted—from confusion to defiance, and then to heartbreak. He lifted his eyes to meet Heeseung’s, letting his resentment and pain show in his gaze. “You truly believe your dreams are not safe with us?” he asked, moving a step forward. “You think that our dreams won’t be safe because you have a ‘distinct musical vision’?” he continued, mocking the statement, exposing his disbelief and hurt.
“Six years, hyung...SIX FUCKING YEARS, that we fought against every hurdle and survived. But now, your dream is suddenly the problem? Do you even hear yourself?” Sunoo pressed, moving further, pointing his fingers and jabbing at Heeseung’s chest. No other member made a movement to stop Sunoo because they knew. They knew that things had to be said, and they needed to be said before they became words lost with the wind and their hopes.
“Sunoo..” Heeseung began, “You know what I mean, don’t you? This is the best for all of us...” He tried to reason with the boy he had once been the closest to, and, despite the distance between them, loved and adored him the same.
“No hyung, I don’t know what you mean. All I’m hearing is that we as a group aren’t fervent enough to bear your dreams along with ours. All I’m hearing is that we as a family aren’t strong enough to help you carry your burdens because you have decided all on your own what’s best, not just for you, but for all of us,” Sunoo retorted. His voice grew heavier, more tense with a slight shudder that represented his overwhelm. He could not focus when he was losing one of those people he considered family because the world chose their kindness to be rationed to someone else. Like a trinket that could be sold.
Heeseung could not say a single word. Inside, he felt a sudden, overwhelming wave of doubt about his choice. Just moments before, he had tried to appear resolute, but now uncertainty gnawed at him. The difference between the careful decision he had presented and the personal cost hit him sharply: leaving the group was nothing like picking a t-shirt; it was a life-changing decision, one that with each moment felt heavier. He thought of waking up alone, his home silent, his shouts quiet without his members’ laughter. The reality began to sink in, and all at once, Heeseung felt lost about whether he was right to go through with any of it.
“I know how you feel, Sunoo, and I know it's difficult, but it's done now.” Heeseung fought to keep his composure, even as a wave of regret welled up in his chest. Despite this, he forced himself to continue, pushing the words out as if to convince himself as much as Sunoo. “We cannot go back anymore. We have to move forward with this and hope that all that comes your way as ENHYPEN is nothing but success, because I know, more than anyone, that my members are the most talented in the world. You don’t need someone like me in your group because you all contribute your own singularity as humans, making ENHYPEN what it is.” His next words stumbled, his throat dry as hesitation and sadness competed within him. “And—I know you’ll live up to your name of being the connection between music and the world.”
Inside, it broke him. The weight of his choice pressed heavily on his chest, making it hard to breathe. In the quiet moments, he replayed the arguments in his mind, each word from Sunoo and the others echoing louder than his own rationale. Doubt gnawed at his resolve. Was leaving truly the right way to protect them, or just an excuse to run from the pressure? He wondered if the so-called safety he sought for the group came at the cost of his own happiness, or worse, theirs.
He imagined waking up to a silent dorm, meals eaten alone, laughter replaced with unwelcome silence. He thought of celebrations and hardships that would come without him, of inside jokes he would no longer be a part of, of their voices blending without his own. Would they heal, or would his absence just become another wound? His mind spun through regrets—times he could have fought harder, times he let exhaustion win, moments he buried his worries instead of sharing them. The decision felt irreversible, yet he still hoped, selfishly, for one last sign that he could stay. The others would make new memories together. Their bonds would deepen, growing too strong to sever. He knew why he made this choice. People would speculate. He could only hope his brothers and fans would eventually understand.
He hopes that his members will support him, and that he will support them more passionately than anyone else, even if they cannot mention each other anymore.
He knew he was going to be erased—slowly or quickly, he wasn't sure. The phantom of his presence would linger with the members, but soon it would disappear; they had each other. Yet a quieter, persistent phantom—the memory of his six members by his side—would always haunt him. It would whisper, reminding him what they could’ve been if only he were stronger. If only the world had been kinder.
A sob suddenly broke Heeseung’s train of thought—gut-wrenching, raw emotion escaped Sunoo, who could no longer contain his pain. In this moment, devastation overtook all other emotions, both for Sunoo, who ran to his room, and for Heeseung, whose longing to offer comfort was swallowed by heartbreak and helplessness.
“You...say that we won’t need you because our own personalities make ENHYPEN...” Ni-ki spoke up, his hands trembling as he continued, “But that is nothing but utter disrespect to your work, hyung. It’s incivility to the young boy who fought his hardest in I-LAND, proving himself as the ace of the show. You’re doing nothing but downplaying our tough journey together as seven in this world, and even if you had to fucking leave, it should not have been like this!” His voice rose, a strain on his cords as he scrambled the words out.
Oh, how painful it was to watch one of the pillars of your life disappear out of sight.
Ni-ki turned out and left for his room, not giving Heeseung a chance to even try to smooth it out. The other members followed suit, looking defeated and devastated, knowing they would lose their eldest hyung. Only Jungwon stayed behind.
“I believe in you, hyung...” Jungwon started, his eyes fixed on Heeseung as he tried to maintain his calm demeanour, “It’s a very painful decision, and it’s breaking my heart over and over again, even just thinking about how from tomorrow night, I will no longer see you in our dorms. I will no longer be able to practice with you, or shoot en-o’clocks. No more concerts with you, hyung—no more anything. And it fucking destroys me that it had to come to this, and we could not do anything else. As a leader, I’ve failed at protecting you hyung, and seeing this happen...seeing them snatch you from us just makes me scared of the thought that I might just fail in the future too with everyone else.” His voice cracked by the end, his feelings scattering as he exposed himself to the hyung he relied on most.
It completely shattered Heeseung to see Jungwon like that. Jungwon was the reason ENHYPEN was even possible. He worked so hard as a leader, making sure they achieved all they wished. After five years, when they finally won the daesang, their struggles turned into soft fruits of labour. He knew this would be difficult, but he never imagined it would take away his ability to speak, comfort, or aid his brothers.
He said nothing and just hugged Jungwon tightly. This hug felt different from every other hug Jungwon had ever received. The warm, silent comfort of Heeseung broke Jungwon. He tried to gather his feelings, but in the end, fell apart in his hyung’s arms. Heeseung just hugged him tighter, his own tears falling softly. Jungwon wailed; all the other members heard the painful cries of their leader. None expected this to happen to them. They believed they would be together for a long time and that separation would come from love, not desperation to save each other.
—Sunoo;
He closed the door behind him, sliding down—his sobs still breaking out of him, uncontrollable and uncomfortable. It was difficult for him to even try to catch his breath, hiccuping every time he stopped crying. Heeseung leaving ENHYPEN became a painful reality, tearing him apart from the inside with no recourse. It was the most disheartening thing he had ever experienced, and continuing to grow through with this was unbearably challenging.
He thought of all the moments he would have to face without Heeseung. The dance practices, the vocal trainings, the photoshoots, the en-o’clocks, the episodes, and, most importantly, performing songs without him, a ghoul of his voice resounding amongst them. They would sit separately at award functions, ENHYPEN would move differently, and Lee Heeseung would move separate. There would be no connection between them from this moment forth, only a haunting memory of all the times they spent together, from the start to the finish. From I-LAND to ENHYPEN. From Lee Heeseung and Kim Sunoo to Spicyz. And now, there was no longer a string of fate connecting them. He believed and knew that they would stay together, always be a part of each other’s family, but it would never be on camera. He would have to get used to not missing the seventh spot amongst them, the one that would always remain empty from now on. There would no longer be a gap between them, no longer a centre because they were no longer seven.
Still, somewhere in his heart, Sunoo held a quiet faith that their story was not truly over. Maybe their paths would cross backstage, or a brief message would find its way to him late at night, words of encouragement passed in secrecy. Even if the world could not see them side by side, Sunoo hoped that, off stage and far from the spotlight, their bond would survive—carried in whispered texts, an unseen gesture of support, or an unspoken promise that no amount of distance could break what they had built together.
He couldn’t even fight for his hyung. All he could do was watch from the sidelines as they ripped a piece of himself from him, always reminding him of what they could’ve been if only time had been more forgiving to them. Heeseung would always be a part of who Sunoo was, and he knew he could never forget that. Regardless of the distance that strayed them apart, he would always be Sunoo’s eldest hyung and always his comfort person. Sunoo would always support him, even in the smallest of meaningful ways, to make sure his hyung knows that he is right there with him, even if he isn’t physically right next to him.
He was pulled from his thoughts as he heard some rustling beyond his bedroom door. The sound of someone shifting and settling down. His heart pulled apart as he realised it was Heeseung. He held his breath with the tightest of his strength, not wanting to push away from the last of his hyung.
“I know it’s unbearable. Trust me, Sunoo, this is the most agony I’ve felt in my entire life. I have to walk away from you, from all of you who are the dearest to my heart and learn to walk again in this life, all on my own. I am so scared because I will not have any of you beside me. I will watch you grow and become bigger and brighter than the stars themselves, and it will fill me with the utmost pride knowing that I am not someone who you have to be bound to be successful. Because you are your own person, and you are so bountiful in your talents that you need no one but yourself to shine brighter than anyone. I know I have caused irreparable damage to you and the members, and I don’t think I can ever forgive myself for that. Every minute feels ten times longer without you, and every hour passes more slowly, knowing that we’re on separate paths now. I hope you’ll feel lighter, because you shouldn’t have to carry my burden. My decision, whether it was all mine or not, I truly believe that, regardless of where we are, we’re always one. You’re my sunshine, and you’ll always remain one. I love you so much, and I wish I were kinder to you and our relationship. This is the only regret I’ll carry for the rest of my life, but I want you to know I am so proud of you and I’ll always support you. Always. Take care of yourself, Sunoo. And maybe, when the world is kinder, and we've healed, our paths will cross again, even if it's just to share a smile or make music together, even for a moment. Hold on to that little hope, as I will too."
He heard Heeseung leaving and broke down further. All he wanted was to stay with his members until it was the right time to leave, but still remain together. And yet they took that away from him. They took it all away from him.