Work Text:
Grocery List
Chicken
Brocoli
New Skillet
Brown rice
Raisin Bran Lucky charms
Cherry condoms Cherry tastes like cough syrup
Strawberry condoms We dont even use condoms for blowjobs
Strawberry lube No :(
Shampoo and Ilya's curl cream
New collar for Anya Shane ANYA
New bowl for Anya
Strawberry Lube :))))
Raisin Bran and Lucky Charms
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To-do List
●Ilya meeting with coach
○Buy mom and dad anniversary present New boat My parents are not going to accept a boat they will from their favorite son No boat
○Extra practice with Lucaa
○Facetime Sveltana
○FaceTime Rose (ง'̀-'́)ง Where the fuck did you learn to draw that no facetiming Rose and I will tell You LIKE Rose yes sadly ex-girlfriend is less boring than you (ಥ_ಥ)
○Go try the new russian restaurant
●Meeting with Cavin Klein going to make you look at that photo while I fuck you DONT PUT THAT ON THE TO-DO LIST I do not see a no No comment (^▽^)
○ Meeting with Dr. Galina
○ Dinner with my parents
●Take Anya to vet
○Go visit Hayden (╬ಠ益ಠ) Seriously where are you learning these??
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SCORES
Most goals this season (so far)
Ilya: 26!!! Shane: 20 boooooo Fuck you. Season just started I'm winning this
WORDLE
10/12 Ilya: 2 guesses Shane: 4 guesses
10/13 Ilya: 3 guesses Shane: 6 guesses
10/14 Ilya: 2 guesses Shane: 5 guesses
10/15 Ilya: 2 guesses Shane: 3 guesses
10/16 Ilya: 3 guesses Shane: 6 guesses
When I put these pages up, it was for groceries and To-do lists to keep track of NOT THIS
Someone is a sore loser Fuck you I'm not That is what sore loser would say I'M trying to preserve the sanctity of the fridge notes Hollander you sound ridiculous
10/17 Shane: 1 guess HA!
10/17 Ilya: 1 guess FUCK
CONNECTIONS I do not like this game
10/24 Shane: Perfect Ilya: 2 Mistakes
10/25 Shane: Perfect Ilya: 1 Mistakes
10/26 Shane: Perfect Ilya: 3 Mistakes
You are making fun of fact that English is not my first language How???? These are stupid english sayings I've heard you say these words before NOW who's a sore loser
10/31 Ilya: perfect Shane: 4 Mistakses streak lost :( FUCK YOU Ah it is still you who is sore loser
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Game night w/sveta and rose
UNO? No last time I threw the cards at you
Monopoly? You called me 'dirty fucking cheater' Right
Catan? BORING
Poker? NO I always forget the rules and lose
Candy land? What are you five? ヽ(•‿•)ノ No candy Land (;_;)
Scrabble? No you won't let me use Russian words You won't let me use French words
Puzzle? And you call me boring?? Hey!
Jenga? no last time we made it so high and scared Anya when it dropped
Twister? Twister? yes but instead you are the mat Huh? 'right hand on red' want to take a guess where red circle is hollander ;) Sure and right after Rose can put her hand on red NO TWISTER
Movie night? Movie night
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To-Do List Pick-up Lines
What did I tell you about these pages?
->They say dating is a numbers game, so can I get yours? We're married
->Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
->Are you a parking ticket? Because you have 'FINE' written all over you You should know, how many tickets do you still have unpaid in Boston?
->Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong This is getting ridiculous
->Is your name Winter? Because you’ll be coming soon Its summer
->Are you a washing machine? Because I want to put a dirty load in you Gross don't say that
->Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention :| Ahh but if I was drill seargant? Sir yes Sir
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Team Christams presents
Bood- Fancy new grill Isn’t that one really expensive?
Sweetheart together our account has enough to buy everyone on the team a Lamborghini, and we still would never have to work again Yeah you’re right fancy grill it is
Barret- trip for him and Harris
Dykstra- new fishing stuff Stuff?? I dont know hook? rod? whatever I do not fish
Hazy- signed x-squad poster Ask Rose
Haasy- ticket to Switzerland for Christmas Are we going overboard? Maybe? Shoud I ask my mom? yes ask Yuna good idea
Rookie triplets- Cars okay now you’re definitely going overboard
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Bets
First Rookie to get serious girlfriend? Shane: Young Ilya: Holmberg
Cup Winner? Shane: New York Ilya: Vegas Shane nooo hunter will be late for senior bingo if he plays
First Rookie to get someone pregnant Shane: Holmberg Ilya: Young
Which rookie is gay? should we be speculating this Shane no one else sees this Shane: Lucaa Ilya: Lucaa
Who's going to win next year's scoring race Shane: Me Ilya: ME
Will pike have another baby? Shane: NO Ilya: YES
Will Hunter retire this year You have a problem Shane: No Ilya: YES PLEASE
Who's going to get MVP this year? Shane: Ilya Ilya: Shane
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Baby Names
Something you need to tell me Shane? What?
Did all my trying work? will I find positive test on the counter
As much as you like to believe your 'sperm is different' I still cant get pregnant :((((((( We've talked before though, so I thought we could at least have names for when the time comes
Girl: Violet Boy: Flynn
Does baby know how to smoulder?
What?
Never mind
Girl: Alena Boy: Elio
I like that one
Girl: Maeve Boy: Henry
Girl: Lucia Boy: Myles
Girl: Mila Boy: Milo
Wow, very creative
Shut up
Girl: Apple Boy: Orange
We can be like crazy celebrities
Absolutely not
Girl: Eden Boy: Aris
Better
Girl: Anastasia Boy: Aleksandr
Beautiful
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Packing List
- Shirt
- Pants
-
Shorts
I think we will remember clothes without a list
- Toothbrush and toothpaste
- Skincare
- Lube
-
Vibrator
- Underwear
-
PantiesOkay but just one pair
-
The not scratchy blanket
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Cuffs
Only if you dont pull hard enough to break hotel bedNo Cuffs :(
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Deodorantnoooooomy little freak <3
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Shopping List
Chicken
Zucchini Gross
Protein Powder
Ginger Ale
Toilet Paper
Dog Food
Wine for Yuna
Wine for WAG night Please no spilling on the rug this time (๑˃ڡ˂๑)
Diapers
Paint for Nursery
Formula
Onsies Please Shane let us get the one with little dinos That one was pretty cute
Doritos (For Rookies) You can't keep calling them rookies this long in shhhh they are always out little rookies
Baby safe shampoo
I Love You I love You Too