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“Lardo, I swear to God, he didn’t even recognize me,” Eric complained, dropping into the seat across from her. Larissa put her phone to the side and gave him a sympathetic look. He had already been texting her about it for almost a day now, but he still fuming. “He looked straight at me and was like ‘Oh, hi, I’m Jack’ like we’d never even met. What an asshole.”
“Bitty, I bet he TAs like all of Atley’s classes - that’s at least a hundred students a semester,” she said, pushing a still warm cup of coffee across to him. He took it, drinking it without even looking at what at was and then wrinkled his nose at the plain black coffee inside.
“Still,” he said as he hopped up to grab a few packets of sugar and a creamer to dump in the coffee to at least make it tolerable. “He is responsible for one of the most embarrassing days of my life and he doesn’t even remember. Samwell is not that big.”
Lardo rolled her eyes as Eric stirred his coffee a little more aggressively than necessary.
“Does this mean you didn’t get his help?” she asked. “You know that paper is due in like two days, man.”
Eric groaned and put his head down on the table. Lardo kicked him gently under the table.
“You gotta suck this one up, Bits,” Lardo said. “Otherwise, they’re not gonna let you play next semester.”
“Are you sure you don’t know anything about historiography?” he asked in the most pitiful voice he could manage, adding in a small pout as he clutched his coffee closer.
“I don’t think that’s even a real word, dude,” she said.
Eric made a strangled noise of agreement and gulped down several mouthfuls of coffee. He knew Lardo was right, but that didn’t mean he wanted to go back over to tutoring hours today either. When he had gone for the first time yesterday in desperate need of help on his final essay for his Intro to Historiography class, he had been so caught off guard by Jack Zimmermann sitting there and not recognizing him that he had slipped out while Jack was still finishing up with one of the other students. Now he was too embarrassed to go back even though it was the last open tutoring hours before the paper was due.
It apparently wasn’t up to him anyways. Shitty showed up at Annie’s and together with Lardo, they marched him over to Lawrence Hall just in time for tutoring hours to start. Unlike yesterday, the room was empty except Jack, who was tapping away at his computer, already looking vaguely annoyed. Eric supposed that everyone else was either already finished with their term papers or too lost in the library study carrels to make their way to Lawrence. (Or maybe , Eric thought a little pettily, they had also been yelled at in their first week of freshman year for getting in the way of the older and unfairly attractive History TA who ran tutoring hours.)
Shitty clapped him a bit too hard on the back as they left him in the doorway, eliciting a small squeak of surprise from Eric which caught Jack’s attention. Jack’s brow furrowed for a second and then his expression cleared.
“Hey,” he said. “I was wondering if you’d be back today.”
“Yeah…” Eric said, scrambling for an excuse. “Sorry, yesterday just got too late and I had to...uh, go.”
Jack nodded as if this made perfect sense. He rolled his shoulders back with a pop of his neck and settled into the chair a little more deeply. Eric tried not to let his eyes linger on Jack’s arms as he did it, but it was a lost cause. Jack was cute. Like really, unfairly cute with his intense blue eyes and his too-tight jeans and Lord, don’t even get Eric started on his unbelievable ass because honestly, it shouldn’t be allowed. Eric couldn’t decide if he was desperately attracted to Jack or intensely jealous of him for it. Either way, it didn’t matter, Eric reminded himself, because Jack Zimmermann was a total jerk. And probably, definitely straight.
“So, which class are you in again?” Jack asked.
Eric sighed, hauling out his notes.
“Intro to Historiography,” he said. “I, uh….missed a few sessions for games and never caught up.”
Eric blushed faintly at his own admission. While it was true that he had missed several sessions because of roadtrips, he had also had plenty of time to catch up, had he wanted to. The current near-catastrophic state of affairs was almost entirely his own doing and he hoped it wouldn’t get back to Coach Hall that he had used roadies as an excuse. He was fairly certain that Jack didn’t play any sports, although Eric had definitely seen him around the weight rooms and gym on conditioning days more than once.
“Right,” Jack said and there was no trace of judgment on his face. “Let’s see what you have for the term paper so far and we’ll go from there.”
Eric’s blush deepened and the page he had been casually thumbing tore under the sudden press of his fingers. He looked down at his notes and shuffled them around for a moment before sighing because he knew no such work on his term paper would appear.
“Honestly,” he said, defeated. “I haven’t even started. I didn’t mean to put it off for so long, it’s just I wasn’t sure how to get started and then it was so late and I couldn’t ask Dr. Atley about it anymore and then -”
“You’ve had the assignment all semester,” Jack interrupted and this time Eric could hear the judgment. If he hadn’t been sure before this moment, he was now positive that he hated Jack. His leg was agitating under the table and he flexed a hand on his knee to stop it from being too noticeable. He didn’t want Jack to know how uncomfortable he was. Show no fear and all that.
“Yeah, I know,” Eric agreed as neutrally as possible. He hadn’t felt so small since a football player in high school had threatened to stuff him in a locker senior year. He pressed his leg down even harder so it would stop bouncing and looked up just in time to see Jack check the lockscreen on his phone for the time.
“You’re going to need to ask for an extension,” he said matter-of-factly and plucked the syllabus out the pile of papers Eric had brought. “There’s no way you can finish before it’s due.”
Eric opened his mouth to protest that, but Jack’s glare cut him off more effectively than any words could. Eric threw back his head, hitting it against the wooden back of the chair with a groan.
“We leave for a three day roadie day after next,” he said.
“You can write on the bus to Colgate,” Jack said pointedly and Eric sat up. He didn’t remember telling Jack that he was a hockey player and he definitely hadn’t mentioned anything about Colgate, which meant that Jack had probably remembered who he was or looked him up after he’d disappeared the night before. He sighed.
“Do you think she’d actually give me one?” he asked. He’d been scared to even ask.
Jack hesitated and then nodded.
“I can tell her that you came by yesterday and today to work on the paper,” he offered. “She’ll be more lenient with you that way.”
“I -” Eric started and then stopped himself. He shook his head and smiled. “Thanks, Jack.”
Okay, so maybe he didn’t hate Jack Zimmermann after all.
_/ _/ _/ _/
Jack agreed to meet him at the library the next day to help him with the paper and Eric brought a pie to thank him. It was definitely beyond the call of duty for any TA and Eric was warming up to Jack quicker than he thought possible for all the help on his paper. They had spent almost four hours the night before going over the basic concepts that Eric needed to cover in the paper and it had been late when they had realized how long they’d been at it. Jack was the one to offer to meet up with him again and Eric woke up early to both bake him a pie and get writing.
Around mid-day, he worked up the courage to send an email to Dr. Atley to ask for an extension, making Lardo proof-read it twice for him before hitting send. Dr. Atley responded in under five minutes: “ yes, of course, eric! jack already emailed as well. pls make sure to get it to me by 5 pm next monday. cta. ” He tried not to be annoyed by the utter lack of capitalization after he had agonized over his email for almost an hour and focus instead on the rush of gratitude he felt towards Dr. Atley for always being next to her phone and to Jack for having his back.
When he made it to the library, Jack was already there, tucked into one of the small study rooms on the second floor. He was tapping away at his phone when Eric opened the door and quietly slipped in, but immediately pocketed it and looked up as the door snicked shut behind Eric.
“Hey,” Eric said, feeling suddenly awkward with a pie in one hand and his bag over his shoulder. Jack looked askance at the pie, his face hard to read.
“Hi,” he said and gestured to the empty seat next to him.
Eric sank into it, setting the pie on the table.
“Do you like apple?” he asked as he leaned over to pull notes and his computer from his bag. “I didn’t have much at the Haus because y’know, the semester is kinda winding down and we’re about to hit the road, but I was able to scrape together enough for a decent apple pie to thank you for all your help. Oh, and I emailed Dr. Atley and she was so nice about the extension - you were so right - and thank you for whatever you said. I’m sure it helped…”
Eric looked up to see Jack staring at him and he trailed off, realizing he had been rambling.
“You...made me a pie?” Jack asked.
“It’s kind of my thing,” Eric admitted, feeling awkward again. He waved his hand towards the pie, flailing a little. “Get me near a kitchen and pies appear!”
Eric laughed nervously and was gratified to see a small, soft smile on Jack’s face when he looked back at him.
“Thanks,” Jack said so sincerely that Eric almost blushed.
“Of course,” he said in a rush. “I even brought some forks so if we get hungry, we can dig in.”
“I don’t think you’re really supposed to eat in here.”
“Well, what the librarians don’t know won’t kill them,” Eric said, winking. Jack didn’t seem to know what to do with that and after a moment of staring at Eric, he accepted the proffered fork and set it aside on the other side of the table.
“Have you got anything done since last night?” he asked and nodded towards the computer. Eric sighed and opened it up and they spend the next two hours talking through Eric’s topic and potential sources. Jack walked him through using a few databases and somewhere half-way through his tutorial on JSTOR, Eric became suddenly aware that Jack is sitting entirely too close to him to be just friendly. Jack was leaning much closer than necessary as he navigated the mousepad on the laptop between them, but Eric isn’t about to pull back. Jack smelled faintly of musky cologne and shampoo and it made Eric a little dizzy. Jack did not retreat either once he was done showing Eric how to set up search filters and their knees pressed together under the table for the rest of the time there even after Eric started work on his paper and left Jack to his own homework.
An hour or so later, Eric pushed his laptop away and yawned. Jack looked over to him and nodded towards the pie in an unspoken question.
“Great idea,” Eric agreed out loud and pulled the pie closer, efficiently peeling back the foil so they can eat straight from the tin. Eric took the first bite and then pushed the tin over in Jack’s direction. They eat a third of the pie before Jack set his fork down and leaned back in his chair, a hand on his stomach.
“Are you going to take Atley’s food seminar next semester?” he asked.
“What?”
“Women, Food and American Culture,” Jack clarified. “She only teaches it every other year. You should take it.”
“Sounds amazing,” Eric admitted and Jack smiled, nudging him gently with his shoulder in a way that made Eric feel warm all over.
“Usually only seniors get in,” Jack said. “But I bet if you make her a pie like this, she’d let you in.”
“Are you taking it?” Eric asked.
“That’s the plan,” Jack said.
“Then, I’ll consider it,” Eric said decisively. “I’m definitely not above bribery.”
_/ _/ _/ _/
Eric emailed his final paper to Dr. Atley from a hotel room in New York the morning before their second and last game of a grueling three-day roadie. He still had another day to work on it, but he thought that it was as good as it was going to get anyways and he was tired of looking at it. He also wrote an email to Jack to tell him that he had completed the paper and that it might even be decent, but he ended up saving it in his drafts folder instead of sending it. He hadn’t talked to Jack since that second afternoon in the library and he was sure that Jack had plenty of other things to worry about with his own finals.
When they arrive back at campus early Tuesday morning, almost all of the student body had decamped for winter break already, but a handful of unlucky students were left for the last few finals of the semester. The team had the next week off from games and most of the boys were flying out that night to go home for a few days before getting back on the road again for another game. Eric hadn’t been able to get a flight back until the next morning. When he couldn’t handle the manic cheer of the Haus any longer, he slipped out and made his way across Lake Quad to go to Annie’s.
Halfway there, he spotted Jack, although Jack didn’t notice him right away. He was too busy photographing a small flock of geese that were pecking about in the snow by the lake. It was so stupidly cute that Eric froze mid-step to watch it unfold.
Eric's feet steered him towards Jack and before he could change his mind, Jack noticed him and gave a half-wave with the hand that holding his camera. Eric felt his insides turn to mush. He reminded himself firmly that he didn't even know if Jack was anything but straight but it did nothing to stop his heart from flipping in his chest. He remembered the way Jack had sat a little too close to him at the library last week and let himself hope.
"Eric," Jack said. "Great game up in Colgate. That assist in the third was awesome."
"Oh wow, thanks, Jack," Eric said. The unexpected direction of the conversation was doing nothing to remedy the mushy situation of his insides, because for some reason, the thought off Jack taking the time to watch his game and taking note of how Eric had performed was really nice . And before he could stop himself, he added, “You know, I’ve never really seen you at any of the games.”
Jack gave him a sideways look that felt laden with a meaning that Eric didn’t understand and then after a long moment, he shrugged. He fished a lens cap out of his pocket and snapped it on the camera.
“I mostly watch the livestreams when I have time,” Jack said as if he were choosing his words carefully.
“Right,” Eric said. “I mean, of course, you don’t have to come to be a fan or anything. I just...meant...you know, it would be cool if you came.”
“Maybe I will in the future, eh?” Jack said, recovering from the weird moment. “Now that I have more of a reason to come.”
Eric grinned at him and was pleasantly surprised to see Jack grinning back. They stood like that, just smiling at each like idiots, until one of the geese squawked loudly beside them causing both of them to jump.
“I - uh - I never got a chance to thank you again for all your help with my paper,” Eric said. “I know you didn’t have to spend all that extra time with me and it just helped so much. I was sure I was gonna fail that class and be scratched for next semester.”
“No problem,” Jack said. “It was actually kind of fun.”
Eric had no idea what to do with that. This boy was going to kill him.
“I was just on my way to Annie’s,” Eric blurted out instead of a million other smoother lines he could have chosen. He winced and imagined banging his head against his door repeatedly. It might be preferable to the long moment of silence between them now.
“Okay,” Jack said and then instead of going back to the geese, he slung his camera around his neck and nodded in the direction of the coffee shop. There was no possible way for Eric to talk himself out of the heart-flipping calisthenics going on in his chest this time. He was pretty sure he had just managed to somehow accidentally ask Jack out on an impromptu date, but he didn’t want to get too ahead of himself either.
“Okay,” he said a little breathlessly as they fell into step together. And then, again, for good measure, “Okay.”
At Annie’s, Eric ordered a Gingerbread Latte and Jack got a plain black coffee, but still insisted on paying for the both of them. Eric added it into the “This is a date??!!” column in his head and tried not to be obvious about it. They sat down at one of the smaller tables and neither one of them openly acknowledged the fact that their chairs kept drifting closer and closer together as the conversation flowed between them. Eric talked about his pies and the Haus’s finicky, old oven and Jack mostly listened, asking questions to prompt Eric when he went quiet. It was nice. It was easy. Eric couldn’t quite reconcile this Jack with the Jack who had yelled at him just outside his freshman seminar. He blushed at the memory.
“What is it?” Jack asked.
“Oh, nothing,” Eric said and then, catching Jack’s eye, he sighed. “It’s just...I always thought you were so mean.”
Now it was Jack who looked embarrassed. He looked down at his coffee cup and started peeling the cardboard sleeve and when he looked back at Eric, his eyes were concerned.
“So you do remember that then?” he asked.
“ You remember that?” Eric asked. This whole time he had assumed Jack had no idea who he was.
“Yeah, I, uh…” Jack stammered for a moment and then took a big breath. “It was why I went out of my way to help you at first when you came in last week.”
“It’s why I left the first night,” Eric confessed in a rush. He felt relieved at the admission. Jack looked deflated next to him and Eric leaned a little closer, bumping against him and offering a smile when Jack looked up at him. “I only came back the next night because Lardo, our team manager, she made me. She knew I was gonna fail if I didn’t get help.”
“Yeah,” Jack said. “I thought that might be why.”
He looked back down at his coffee, his fingers still peeling at the cardboard sleeve.
“I know it’s not a good excuse,” Jack said haltingly. “But I was having an exceptionally bad day when I yelled at you last year and it had nothing to do with you.”
“It’s okay,” Eric said and was surprised to find that it really was. He had built the moment up so much in his head that he’d really made it into more than it was, if he was being honest with himself. (Lardo, he knew, would agree when he finally admitted it to her. If he ever got around to it.) “I mean, I hated you for a solid year and a half and wished many terrible things on you, so we’re probably even.”
Jack laughed, obviously surprised, but his lips curled into a secretive smile.
“I’m glad you came back, even if it wasn’t exactly your choice at first,” Jack said.
Eric took a long sip of his latte to hide his smile.
“Yeah, me too,” he said.
And, if Eric wasn’t sure if they were flirting a moment before, he had confirmation as Jack’s chair again scooted closer, their knees knocking together under the table. Eric didn’t hide his smile this time when he hooked his ankle around Jack’s under the table and Jack moved the final few centimeters so that their shoulders and hips pressed together. They didn’t move away from each other until they were ready to leave.
Later, long after they’d finished their coffees, Eric remembered that he’d promised to make one last batch of cookies before Ransom and Holster left that night for their roadtrip home together in the morning and he reluctantly mentioned that he needed to get back to the Haus. He didn’t put up an argument when Jack offered to walk back there with him, even though he knew the Haus was probably not on Jack’s way back to his own place since it was on the opposite side of campus from Annie’s.
Jack’s hand brushed against his twice before, on the third time, Jack tentatively laced their fingers together, letting them loosely intertwine. Eric had to press his lips together to keep himself from beaming at Jack when he did it. Eric was desperately trying to play it cool, like this very attractive senior wanting to hold his hand and go on impromptu coffee dates with him was totally normal and expected. He wasn’t sure he was quite succeeding because when he next snuck a look at Jack, Jack was smirking back at him. Eric bumped his shoulder playfully and the smirk turned into a genuine smile, and then Jack pulled him even closer, so their arms were pressed flush against each other as they walked.
They reached the Haus far too quickly for Eric’s liking and Eric wished they had taken the longer loop around Lake Quad instead of the more direct path his feet had automatically guided him down. Jack seemed to agree even though Eric didn’t voice the sentiment aloud because he didn’t immediately let go of Eric’s hand when they paused on the steps of the porch.
“So, this is me,” Eric said.
“Yeah,” Jack agreed, still not letting go of his hand. There was a moment of awkward silence between them before they both started talking at the same time.
“When do you -” Eric said.
“Can I text -” Jack said.
They both stopped mid-sentence and laughed at each other. Eric gestured that Jack should go first and he took a big breath before speaking again.
“Can I text you over break?” Jack asked.
Eric’s grin was so wide that it made it made his cheeks hurt.
“Of course,” Eric said. He pulled out his phone and handed it to Jack so he could type his number in. A few moments later, Jack’s phone dinged in his pocket and he handed Eric’s phone back over. They got stuck staring dopily at each other again until Jack finally looked away and cleared his throat.
“I have to go,” he said, obviously reluctant. “I have a flight out later tonight and still need to pack.”
“Alright,” Eric said, trying to hide his disappointment. He wanted to make the moment last and maybe hold Jack’s hand again while they sat on the porch and drank hot chocolate and ate some of the last pieces of pie that Eric had hidden in the back of fridge. Instead, he smiled and gave Jack a small, awkward wave that he almost instantly regretted. Jack’s eyes darted from his hand back to his face and he smirked. Eric bit his lip and looked down at his shoes, suddenly shy.
Jack took a step closer and Eric squeaked in surprise, blinking up at him. Eric’s eyes flew unbidden to Jack’s lips, a little chapped from the cold, and then back up to his eyes, intensely blue and focused entirely on Eric. Jack’s hands curled lightly around Eric’s hips and tugged a little, pulling him closer. He paused and tilted his head, obviously checking in with Eric, and Eric nodded, a little dazed by his proximity. He couldn’t help the small sigh that escaped him right as Jack finally leaned down and pressed their mouths together. He opened his mouth to slide his lips between Jack’s and -
“GET SOME, BITS!!” Shitty hollered from somewhere above them. Eric pulled back as though he had been yanked by the neck. He glared up at the second floor where sure enough, Shitty was leaning out of the window and leering at them.
“I’m so sorry,” Eric apologized to Jack, putting a hand on his chest. He could feel a hot blush taking over his face, but he hoped the flush from the cold would offset it a bit. Jack shrugged and Eric noticed then that Jack’s hands were still resting gently on his hips. He smiled up at Jack and jerked his chin up at Shitty. “He grows on you after a while.”
Jack threw his head back and laughed, a deep rumble that shook Eric pleasantly. Shitty wolf-whistled at them from the window and Eric flipped him off, burying his face in the front of Jack’s warm flannel jacket. Jack hugged him briefly and then let him go.
“I really do have to go,” he said and one hand came up to cup Eric’s face. “But I’ll text you, okay?”
“Okay,” Eric agreed and then got up on his toes to press another kiss to Jack’s mouth. Jack was smiling when they broke apart and then with a light squeeze of Eric’s hip, he turned and left, leaving Eric alone outside the Haus. He sighed in contentment as he watched Jack’s retreat down the sidewalk and around the corner. Then, hugging his coat a little closer to himself, he went to sit on the porch steps. His nose was already numb with the cold, but for once, he didn’t care.
His phone buzzed a few minutes later. It was a text from Jack.