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As if an invisible barrier prevented her from getting near, Cecilia gave one side of the room a wide berth as she walked around. Thankfully no one was here to watch how ridiculous she probably looked as she drifted from one area to another, constantly turning her head to peek at the forbidden zone. That being…her desk.
The letter lying on the surface taunted her, its creases beginning to fray at the edges. She wasn’t sure how many times she had read it, but she knew it was far too much. There was no reason to look at it again, at least as a reminder. She didn’t need to. The cute stickers, the way the letters curved and crossed, and the silly doodles along the margins—it was already engraved deep into her memory.
Cecilia played with the edges of her sleeve. Don’t do it, Cecilia Immergreen. You’ve wasted enough time.
There were other productive things she could do, like: sit on her bed, stare out the window, stand in front of the mirror, pace, rearrange the furniture, pick up items on the shelves and immediately place them back down.
The cycle repeated twice before she forced herself to stop. Time well spent, surely.
But in the end, she stood in front of her desk, her shoulders slumped in defeat. “Once more. This is the last time,” she said, not quite believing herself.
God she was weak, wasn’t she?
She ran her finger along the edges of the papers. Lovesick like the protagonists of many romance novels she had gone through.
Her lips twitched up in a smile, thinking both of the contents inside and how the letter found its way to her.
She should have suspected something was up when Gigi messaged her several times questioning when she’d be back home. Doubly so when she bumped into her in the hallway after she had arrived in the early afternoon. Gigi was striding at a swift pace toward her direction, away from where Cecilia’s room was. The kind of walk one did when trying to make a quick escape without outright sprinting. Meaning it looked suspicious as hell.
But she tended to have a guilty look about her. Or maybe Cecilia was the only one who thought that. Either way, she chalked it up to Gigi being Gigi, not dwelling on it too long. Even when Gigi couldn’t quite look her in the eye when they stopped to greet each other in the hallway. Or how she bolted after asking Cecilia if she was going to her room and if they could hang out later.
The envelope sat on Cecilia’s desk, blending in with some papers scattered about, and the mess of old crafting projects left atop helped obfuscate it somewhat. It wasn’t until she came close that she noticed the all-caps “CECE” with a heart next to it.
Regrettably, the first thought that had come to mind was along the lines of oh no what did she do? It didn’t help there were a lot of humorous compliments being slung her way in the opening paragraph, she just assumed Gigi was trying to butter her up before confessing to her crime.
Halfway down the second page, she realized there really was a confession being made, just not the kind she had been thinking.
She remembered how her cheeks burned when the kind words kept coming and how honest and personal they sounded. She decided to flip the paper and start over from the beginning, reading again with rapt attention.
The first few times she read through the whole letter, she may have squealed. Perhaps even dove into bed and screamed into her pillow, legs and feet kicking up behind her. The world will never know because she’d never admit to it.
Her control got considerably better several reads in, though she still did a little happy wiggle in her seat or would break into giggles from time to time. She really should have spent more time coming up with a response instead of obsessively studying the words as if they would change. They didn’t, of course, and every reread intensified the excitement buzzing beneath her skin.
Now the sun was dipping below the horizon and she was still in her room. Why was she in here when she could be talking to the person who lovingly plagued her thoughts? This was going to be the last time reading the letter, then she would go and find Gigi, she decided.
She handled the letter as if it were a delicate treasure and pulled it close. It was cheap stationary, she would know, she was there when it had been bought. The mint green paper was her suggestion too. Didn’t make it any less precious.
The paper was lightly perfumed with a sweet scent, familiar and comforting.
Unfolding the letter, she flipped to the back and skipped to the last lines.
‘So, there. I’ve poured my heart out. This is terrifying.
I know how I feel (I really like you btw, if that wasn’t clear) and I hope you feel the same?
Do you?
It’s ok if not, just turn me down gently PLEASE.
Love,
Gigi’
Cecilia snickered. What a dork. A very adorable dork.
The letter consisted of three papers, each filled front and back. Six pages of Gigi’s thoughts and feelings, all centered around Cecilia. She was better with words than people gave her credit for, but this letter was chaotic. Written like a stream of consciousness, it jumped from topic to topic.
One section Gigi waxed poetic about Cecilia’s eyes. Cecilia had a strong suspicion that she had purposely shoved in “green orbs” in as many sentences as she could. She also went on to describe how much she loved her hands to the point she wanted to gnaw on her fingers. A little disconcerting, but also weirdly endearing?
In another part she was more vulnerable, thanking her for being in her life. How she felt safe and supported having her by her side.
‘I want to spend maaaany more years together. If you want that too, of course.’ A warmth bloomed in Cecilia’s chest.
…Then the letter got thirstier.
‘Sometimes I see the back of your neck when you lean over your desk and I just wanna sink my teeth into it. Is it easier to break skin on other parts of your body? Would you let me try?’
Heat traveled up her neck and across her cheeks, the intricate system of gears and metal within her spinning faster. If she could see herself, she knew how embarrassingly red her face would be. Who admits to wanting to do this in a love letter? Gigi, apparently.
It continued on, describing her desire to examine her joints closely. Maybe it was just curiosity or something more, in any case, having someone write about how much they fantasized about exploring and biting your body was wild.
Cecilia was definitely going to tease her about being too intense later. She would be a liar if she said she wasn’t interested, but she wasn’t going to let her know that right away. Gigi was going to have to work for it.
Eventually it switched to wholesome, funny memories. The pranks they played, the trouble they got into, reminiscing about when they’d get caught. How they’d pass the blame back and forth, but come to each other's defense in the end. She declared she’d always have her back, unless the alternative was more hilarious.
Then it shifted back to being serious and romantic.
‘I’m not sure when I started needing you, but you’re the first thing I look for when I wake up.’
The letter was a heartfelt mess and Cecilia wouldn’t have it any other way.
Gigi sat on the edge of her bed, pinching the bridge of her nose. It’s been hours, where the hell was Cece? She tried to tamp down the rising anxiety that had been growing for a while now.
“I messed up.” She stood, biting her lip.
Why didn’t she take more time to proofread? She glared at her trashcan, colorful crumpled papers almost spilling over the edge. She shouldn’t have been so impatient! She had wanted to get everything out, but maybe it was too much.
She pressed her hands to her face, thoughts rushing before a sudden burst of optimism filled her.
Maybe the reason Cecilia hadn't approached or messaged her about the letter was not because she hated it, but simply because she didn’t see it yet. Of course! There was no guarantee she immediately spotted it.
There was a chance. I could swipe it. I’ll make it better.
Time was of the essence. Gigi marched toward her door and pulled it back. Her courage quickly plummeted. “Oh. Hi.”
Cecilia beat her to the punch, already a few steps away from Gigi's room. She quickened her approach and shot Gigi a smile, stopping right before her doorway. “You wanted to hang out, right?”
“Y-yeah.” Gigi tried to eye her up and down without being obvious. She didn’t seem upset. “You, uh, got my…thing?”
Cecilia looked confused. “What thing?”
“Ah, it’s nothing.” So she didn’t find it? Something felt off and Gigi flicked her tail side to side, low to the ground. Nonetheless, she stepped aside, waving Cecilia through in a chipper tone. “Come in, come in!”
Closing the door, she turned to regard Cecilia standing in the middle of the room. She was staring over at the trash can. Don’t look at that! Gigi launched herself toward the beanbag chairs around her small table and practically fell onto one, banging her knee loudly against the edge of the table. Gigi silently screamed.
“...I’m fine.” She thrusted a thumbs up at a concerned Cecilia. “Let’s sit!” She flailed her arm toward the chair a few feet away.
Cecilia shook her head and snorted. “Okay,” she said, heading over to the chair.
As she did, Gigi straightened up in her seat and watched her not sit, but grab the chair instead. She stared as Cecilia dragged it directly beside hers, not even a small gap left between, and wordlessly sat shoulder to shoulder with her, their outstretched legs touching.
Gigi swallowed, her mouth dry. “We’re a little close, huh? No personal space allowed?” She joked.
Cecilia turned, voice soft. “You don’t want us to be?” She looped one arm around Gigi’s and leaned against her.
What. What was happening? Gigi froze, unsure.
“I thought you wanted to spend more time like this.” Cecilia's breath brushed against her cheek and her ears burned in response. Thoughts began to stall, then sped up again when Cecilia’s hand slipped down to hers and interlocked their fingers.
“Cece...” Her tail twitched as she whipped her head to the side. Their noses bumped into each other and she drew back. “Sorry!”
Cecilia tugged her close again. “You’re awfully shy after writing all those things.” She spoke low and whispery, but this time Gigi could see the amusement on her face.
“You did see it!” Mortified, she shrank back. Cecilia started to laugh. “You jerk!”
Gigi growled though couldn't help but calm down while watching Cecilia sway and giggle. Their hands were still joined, neither of them loosening their grip or pulling away. She gave the hand a squeeze and Cecilia squeezed back. Hopeful, she looked up with a toothy smile.
Cecilia loved to mess around but she wasn’t as cruel as she sometimes liked to imply. She wouldn’t joke with her like this if she intended to break her heart right after.
“Sooo, do you have a reply to my beautifully written letter?”
“Hmm, I don’t know if I can remember. It was so long!” Cecilia said between her fading giggles.
“I see.” Gigi lifted their hands and brushed her lips against the back of Cecilia’s hand. “I guess I’ll have to ask again.”
Hiding her pleased grin behind their hands, she watched Cecilia’s cheeks warm to a nice pink. A pink that turned almost cherry red when she bit down on a finger. Despite that, Cecilia didn’t try to move away. A very good sign.
“Hey.” Gigi licked her lips, teasing. “I want you. Do you want me back?”
Cecilia sputtered. “That’s not what you wrote!”
“Oh, you do remember!”
Gigi laughed as Cecilia grabbed at her shirt collar and playfully shook her around.
Countering each other’s teasing was like a sport at this point and to Gigi it was one of the fun things about their relationship. Sometimes there was a clear winner and loser, but they were often content with letting things fade to a draw.
Cecilia blew some strands of hair out of her face before smiling shyly. “I liked your letter.”
Gigi beamed at her.
She pulled Gigi in, leaning forward at the same time to plant a kiss on her cheek. “And I like you.”
Gigi ducked down, her cheeks beginning to hurt from how much she was smiling.
With a sigh, she wrapped her arms around Cecilia in a tight hug. “I’m happy,” she murmured against her neck. Arms draped around her. “But what took you so long? It’s been like three hours.”
Cecilia stiffened for a moment. She cleared her throat and seemed to relax a little. Hands gently stroked up and down Gigi’s back. “Don’t…don’t worry about that.”
Gigi chuckled. She’d let it slide for now.