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He looked into the mirror to check his appearance, then sighed. Not that it mattered – what was done and done, and Cas wouldn’t change his mind just because he looked nicer than usual. Really, if anything, he would probably take one look at Dean and just be reminded why he didn’t want to be married anymore.
They were civil about it though, he reminded himself, they would not ruin his niece’s Easter Egg hunt, or her Easter, for that matter – they had agreed that they would only let their family know after the holidays, so that they all could have a good time.
And Dean, well – Dean would admit he got something out of it, too, because it meant that he got to see Cas and spend time with him before it was all over – not that it wasn’t over – and his own fault, too. It always was. He had not spent enough time with his husband, he had let work get in the way –
And to top it all off, that was what Sam had warned him about. Think of Dad, Dean – he died old and miserable and alone. Do you really want that? You’re already a legend at the FBI. You don’t need to put in even more hours –
But it was his duty, and he was good at it, and who else was going to save all these people if Dean did not –
Cas had been supportive, at least at the beginning, and then slowly – well, he would have liked a husband who came home on time, and who was not distracted by trying to bust the new big drug smuggling ring, or something, and Dean couldn’t really fault him for that, even if he still loved him as much as he had when they had first met –
It didn’t matter. Cas wanted out, and Dean would not cling to –
After all, if you love something, let it go, wasn’t that what they said –
And at least he still had this. He would see him, and speak to him today, and they would probably laugh together, if only for the last time, and it was more than he’d had in six long months, when he had come home from a grueling case and Cas had been gone with nothing but divorce papers being left on their dining room table. Ever since then, Sam and Crowley had dealt with the correspondence s Dean didn’t have to, but he was determined to make this a good day for Deanna, and she loved her Uncle Cas.
Thank God he was too good a man to leave her behind too, once this was over.
Here he was then, at the park, and his niece ran up to him. “Uncle Dean!”
“Hello there, Princess” he said, catching her.
“Uncle Cas is there too!”
He glanced over at Sam and Sarah and –
“Yeah, I can see that.”
She hugged his neck and laughed, and he wished he could believe that all was well too.
It would be ridiculous not to greet Cas, naturally. They were married – well, they would have been married, since that was what he wanted – and they had been friends before they got together, so why should they not be after –
“Hey, Cas.”
“Hello, Dean.”
He would miss that. He would miss that a lot.
“You look good.”
He did. As if he hadn’t lost one night of sleep after he had walked out of their home for good, as if he didn’t miss him at all, but then why would he when he had been the one –
“And you look tired” he informed him bluntly, as he often did, and he wished he could lie just for once –
“Yeah, well, you know how it is. Finished up a case –“
“You’re always finishing up a case –“
Their old argument, but well, not in front of Deanna, that had been the rule from the beginning and it would always be the rule, no matter where life took him.
“Yeah, well, someone ought to –“
But Deanna started clamouring for their attention, so they focused on her, because it was easier.
They had only been talking to her for a minute or two when Sam sighed. “What are you doing here?”
“Just seeing what my favourite niece is up to” Crowley said smoothly, and Dean smiled even though he knew that Sam would just feel more annoyed now as he turned to his friend.
“Hello, Squirrel. Feathers.”
“Crowley” they said at the same time because he never needed or wanted a different greeting despite being way more affluent than could be explained by his normal work as a lawyer and having his fingers in quite a few pots.
“Does one good to see you two so cozy” he said even though some would have pointed out that he stood to make money from their divorce, but these people would not have been aware that he was actually not taking a penny from Dean, had outright refused to do so, and had indeed looked insulted when he had offered him some.
“Don’t get used to it” Dean said simply, not meeting Cas’ eyes because he didn’t want him to see what he was actually feeling –
“Don’t hurt me like that on a day like that! Hello, Miss Moose.”
“Mr: Crowley!”
It was another one of the banes of Sam’s existence that Deanna adored Crowley, and the feeling was mutual.
Dean would rather focus on that and not so much on Cas and that he would probably never see him again after this, because Cas was a writer and could work everywhere, especially now that he had was growing more and more popular, so who knew where and with whom he might end up –
Easter Egg Hunt. Right. They were supposed to have fun.
And so, there was nothing for it but to – well, go fourth and try their best at this thing, but not really because they wanted the children to do it, so they would hang back and let them have their fun, and probably manage to avoid each other if they were just –
And then Crowley decided to start a fight with Sam, which really should have been his first clue, because despite his reputation, his friend was normally way too careful to do something like that.
“Alright, let’s go and look for some eggs” he said when Sarah waved at them to go.
She would do her best to keep things civil and wanted them to keep an eye on Deanna, that was what she meant, and they all knew it.
And so, their – his – niece bounced way and they quickly moved to keep Uzo.
“Always like this when she is excited.”
“Like her uncle” Cas said, which had some justification because they had met when Dean had realized there was free ice cream at an event and had almost knocked him over trying to get to it.
“You don’t pass on free ice-cream,.”
“If you want diabetes, you don’t.”
This felt good, this felt like themselves. Only they were not like this anymore.
And then Deanna called out because she had found the first clue, and they moved to help because every parent or guardian did it anyway.
Dean glanced at the riddle and was surprised – seemed a little too sophisticated for the children who were going to be a part of this, even though he knew immediately, how could he not –
I hurt the most when lost, yet also when not had at all. I'm sometimes the hardest to express, but the easiest to ignore. I can be given to many, or just one. What am I?
Yaeji. Only one thing it could be, and that thing was something he would never know again, not for a long time, because he had –
Oh, focus on Deanna. Even though the answer was staring right into his face –
Love
Cas’ intake of breath seemed to indicate that he had guessed to, but Deanna’s lips were beginning to wobble because she could not make heads or tails of it, and he knew that other people would do the same, so he told her, and was justified because she immediately said, “There’s this statue of the angel who shoots people and they fall in love.”
Yes, right, Cupid, how could he ever forget, even though he had never brought him much luck –
He really should stop feeling sorry for himself.
And so, they went to the statue and found an egg that Deanna declared was the best egg ever and then another –
I’m a nine-letter word and rhyme with perfection; I am yet another name for love. What am I?
She frowned. “What’s this about, Uncle Cas?”
Dean opened his mouth to remind her, because her parents had told him they had already broken the news, but Cas laid a hand on his arm, and suddenly, nothing else seemed to matter because it had been so long since they had touched –
“Affection” he said softly looking at Dena, and Dean was looking back, and why were they not together anymore –
“Oh that’s a long word!”
Yes, and most definitely way too much for any young mind to understand, because affection –
Of course they still had affection for one another, that they would always have. It was just the rest that had gotten lost along the way – falling asleep together, cooking together, laughing together, and then, well, he supposed moving out was just the next step –
How he misused when they could just communicate with a glance and talk through the night about God knew what, but well, some things had to give over the course of one’s life, and Cas had decided he didn’t want to –
The Deanna said, “But I don’t understand where we’re supposed to go.”
No, how was she supposed to – Dean would have a talk with these organizers, really, what monsters did children want to feel bad because they –
“There is the language of flowers” Cas said softly, and he would know because he had been the one to gift Dean a bouquet of peonies, the first one he had ever received in his life, because he hadn’t been able to say it – well, Dean hadn’t been, either, and the rest –
“Cloves” he said because after that he had remembered a whole freaking lexicon just in case Cas wanted to drop a few more hints.
Yes, he was right now, of course, and Deanna, who loved flowers, immediately led them there –
And she was so happy about her egg that Dean was the one who read the riddle first and yes, he was most definitely going to kill whoever –
I can break, I can be clogged, I can be attacked, I can be given, I can be kept, I can be crushed, yet I can be whole at the same time. What am I?
A heart
He almost groaned. This was – “A heart” he forced out. Couldn’t be anything else. If there was one more romantic riddle, he would personally –
“The bleeding heart flower” Cas said because he would know, and he nodded.
And Deanna was off, and they ran after her, and somehow they ended up holding hands – “Just so we don’t lose one another” Dean said, and Cas nodded –
And when Deanna found the prize egg, she squealed that happy squeal of hers, and Dean looked at Cas and said, “Probably should have taken fewer hours.”
“And I should not have left.”
“It was your right –“
And Cas kissed him, just like that, and somehow, everything made sense again, and he decided that he was not too upset about the riddles. Might even send them a bouquet, who knew.
Not that it was necessary – it soon transpired, once Cas had moved back in, they had indeed come to a few compromises and were looking into surrogates, that Crowley, when he had a few drinks in him, liked to boast about his slide of hands and the few riddles he’d smuggled into the egg hunt, after which he had bribed Deanna with a new plushie to go where she needed to go.