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The others claimed that he had gotten off lightly, and there had been a time, before there had been so many humans, when he’d only had to work once every couple of years, or twice in one year if he got really busy, that Crowley would have agreed.
Eternity – well – eternity would have lasted forever for him as an angel too, so to be assigned the Grim Reaper position had not seemed like a very difficult thing to do back then –
Only that he had started to like the humans along the way. He hadn’t Eben able to help himself. They were – well, for all that they were so short-lived, they held onto dear life, pun intended, for all it was worth, and they struggled and laughed and cried and invented so many clever things among the way like pity and compassion –
Yes, one couldn’t help but liking them a little, especially when one saw what they got up to at the end.
He ought to have been annoyed as their numbers tripled and tripled and quadrupled and whatevertheydidthen-ed, but somehow, he wasn’t. Meant he had a lot more work to do, and much less free time Tio check out what they had gotten up to before they came to the ending part, but he always managed, and anyway, the work needed to be done.
Yes, it needed to be done, and much better that he should do it than any of the others, because God knew those others could be –
And so he trudged on, and he helped souls move on to God knew where because She had never told them, and it was one of the questions that he had asked and now he was here, so he better stop asking.
And then, he came across him.
The name was on his list.
Of course it was. All the names were on the list, because he was following the Great Plan, and there was nothing one could do about that –
And so, here he was.
A. Z. Fell, it proclaimed proudly on the sign. Even though his real name was Aziraphale, but well, humans would react strangely to something they perceived as strange, so he could hardly blame him for it.- And then his occupation. Bookseller. Well, Crowley did like the occasional book, even if he was not quite sure what to do with them during the rest of the time because they took up a lot of space in his flat that he so carefully kept free of clutter, but well -
Even if he hadn’t liked them he didn’t think he would have enjoyed watching them go up in flames, but many other demons did, so who was he to –
The man had died trying to save his books, and so, he stepped into the ship even as a firefighter screamed for him to get back, and found the ghost that had been the man still doing his best while his jarred remains were lying on the floor. He was not the first one to overlook certain things, really.
And so, he cleared his throat. “If I could have your attention for one moment –“
“Oh, thank God!” he exclaimed. “You have to help me – my books!”
“Yes, about that –“
“Oh!” he exclaimed, wringing his hands, “They are all going to burn!”
“I really don’t think that’s –“
“Do you know how many rare editions I have here, not to mention –“
“Ahem” he cleared his throat pointedly, “No offense, but I think we are sort of missing the point here, Mr. Fell –“
“What do you –“
And he pointed towards his remains. That usually did the trick.
Only this one was more incredulous than shocked, angry, or sad. “What do you mean – that can’t be me! I am right here –“
“Yes, part of you, the part that’s eternal and whatnot, I give you that, but everything that wasn’t –“
“But my books!”
“They are not really important anymore –“
That had been the wrong text, oh boy.
“How dare you say something like that! Books are forever, as long as you just treat them well and don’t touch them with dirty hands –“
“Or if there is a fire –“
“I am not leaving them to burn!”
And because Crowley really had other things to do – his job was never done, quite literally not until the Apocalypse – he snapped his fingers and the fire was gone.
“Oh thank you!” he clapped his hands. “Now I can –“
“Now you can do nothing” he pointed out. “It’s over. You’re leaving.”
“I am not leaving! What about my books?”
“They are not your books, not anymore they aren’t, because you are dead and the dead can’t own –“
“Come on men, we have to – what is – how did you make it out?”
And Crowley became aware that, because humans often only saw what they wanted to see, the firemen were currently overlooking the charred corpse because they believed the proprietor of the establishment had made it out alive after all, and he opened his mouth, but they overlooked him because, well, the incarnation of Death was not quite – he didn’t fit into this, did he –
“Oh I must have gotten lucky” Aziraphale said, “or, well, contemplatively speaking – just look at all this damage!”
And of course he meant the books, of course he did –
Crowley could only shake his head.
Time to end this –
“Look” he said to him, “There is a way in which things are done, and this is not it, so could you –“
“Absolutely not”.
“But you have to move on, everyone does –“
“I am not leaving my shop! Do you know what it took just to build it up from the ground? And my regulars – they depend on me! There are fewer and fewer places where you can borrow newspapers these days, you know, so I started that a few years ago –“
Well, that was nice and all, but –
Only that the mean quite clearly had no intention of going anywhere, and Crowley quickly found that he couldn’t force him to.
Well, he would grow tired of it when he realized no one could see him. That was just part of the human –
He took the corpse with him just to be polite. Would hardly have been a nice environment to grind out he was a ghost in otherwise.
Only that, no matter how often Crowley came to check up on things, it turned out that humans could indeed see him, and more than that, they were happy to ignore that he was transparent most of the time and that his voice sounded hollow now. The regulars were just glad that their routine was not being interrupted, and the walk-ins didn’t seem to care one way or another.
It was – well, it was strange, to say the least –
But what could he do?
As it turned out, still nothing, because he took one look at Crowley, said, “I’m not going” and that was that, no matter how long he hung around –
He could never stay anyway, naturally, because well, he had his duties, and unlike others, he didn’t shy away from what fate had bestowed on him, because someone ought to do it, someone had to keep this wonderful messy place safe from all the souls who would crowd it if they just decided not to move on like this one.
But once at least every week, he returned to the book shop, checking if perhaps he had grown tired of it all yet, of now and then letting books drop because his concentration slipped and he didn’t have a body anymore, of having to shout when certain people who wouldn’t see things how they truly were decided to drop by and ignore him, of never feeling cold or hungry anymore, but no – he was utterly content to stay in his bookshop and let things outside take their course.
And Crowley –
He had early on realized that one of the most dangerous things about humans was that one got used to them, started to like them, all too easily. One day you just went about your business, and the next, you were ready to give an old man a few extra days so he could see his grandchildren one more time. That was just how it was, and he had stopped questioning it a long time ago –
But even so, that bookseller… he shouldn’t be as intrigued as he was, he knew that, because he had to move on eventually, and then where would he be? Where he had been since the creation of earth, and where he would be until it ended. And they would never see each other again.
He pointed that out one day when Aziraphale was pouring a glass of wine for both of them – against Crowley’s expectations, he could actually go shopping if he tried very hard – and he looked at him.
“That would be very sad, dear.”
He was rather glad he couldn’t do what the humans called blushing, because he might actually have believed that that was what he was doing. Which was very ridiculous, of course.
And so, he left and came back and left and came back again, and they were friends, or something like it, which had never happened to him before, because how could it when people just left every time just as he was getting to know them –
And he was rather starting to think that Aziraphale was very dear to him indeed, and that was another problem, because that kind of thing was not for him. Everyone knew that. That was for humans, and humans alone, because She had decided because they were so hard up and only had a little time in the world, they should be compensated with lo –
He would not think that word, because that couldn’t be it, because beings like him were not supposed to be capable of it, but every time he went to see Aziraphale, his heart beat faster which was weird because he was rather sure he didn’t have one, but it seemed like some part of him had decided that he ought to –
Aziraphale was good company, too. He was very well-read, and despite rarely setting foot outside his bookshop – and Crowley caught himself wishing that he could have shown him the world, just a little bit, before – but that was all over and done with when, well, you were over and done with – he knew what went on in the world around him, which was more than he could say for many of his brethren.
And then – well –
It was spring. Equinox. Easter. Whatever the humans had come to call it.
The point was, it was a time for new beginnings, to let go of old things, so he was not too surprised (and, he told himself, not disappointed) when he came into the shop and found Aziraphale walking around slowly, as if saying goodbye.
He swallowed, his mouth dry even though it should not be –
“Crowley, dear” Aziraphale said, “I have been thinking, and you are right – this way of life – it’s over for me. At least I can’t stay here full time anymore, can I, with you always fluttering about –“
What was he –
“So I thought I’d accompany you –“
But certainly he could not –
And then the shop was filled with light so bright it even blended him, and when he could see again, Aziraphale was wearing a light suit to match his own dark one. “Oh” he clapped his hands in delight “So my prayers worked! I am so glad –“
Now wait a moment –
And he smiled at him and pulled him into his arms and kissed him, and Crowley knew that they would never be parted and would do this work together from now on, and he had no idea if it was a reward or a punishment, but it didn’t matter.