Archive of Our Own

Taehyun should’ve seen it coming from a mile away—and well, to some extent, he did—from the first time he skipped a study session to go out with his friends. He was unable to resist the invitations to their local karaoke bar, belting his heart out as if it would somehow help him with his grades. So, it comes as no surprise when he hurries over to the board displaying their grades to see he’s ranked 6th, a whole three ranks lower than what he got last term. Dread fills him, a chilling feeling running down his spine when he sees the teacher handling his scholarship appear to his left with a frown, her arms crossed over her chest. She doesn’t look happy (obviously) as he calls him into the staff room with a tight smile. 

“Your grades have been dropping,” is the first thing Ms Bae says, gently pulling down her glasses to stare up at Taehyun. It’s a little intimidating, the look she has on her face, a scowl poorly hidden behind her bangs. His nerves are already on edge from imagining what his parents are going to say when he gets home, and seeing her practically glare makes his stomach twist. 

“It’s just three ranks,” he tries to reason with a faint smile, which is wiped off the moment she places her glasses to the side with a sigh. She clearly isn’t amused, pressing her fingers into her temples. Taehyun unnaturally hides his hands behind his back, unconsciously crossing his fingers every time she makes the smallest move. 

“Three ranks is a lot when it comes to a scholarship student, no?” Ms Bae replies with a grin, except it’s not her usual soft-edged one that she gives him every time he impresses her. It’s the kind where her eyes are curved and lips twitching like she’s a second away from bursting. She’s about to lose her marbles if Taehyun says another stupid thing, and he really isn’t looking forward to that. It happened once before when he refused to go on a school trip that contributed to class credits, and he ended up on the verge of tears because—Taehyun just cannot handle people getting angry at him. It’s scary. 

And besides, Taehyun is well aware of the rumours related to this teacher, about how she used to be a popular delinquent in their area until she changed after some redemption arc. He didn’t want to unlock that side for her. 

“I’ll try harder,” Taehyun swallows the rest of his sentence when she turns to him in annoyance. 

He braces himself as Ms Bae opens her mouth. “You said that the last time you got third, and the time before that when you came second!” She pauses and takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. “Look, Taehyun. I’m just worried for you, okay? Your parents might come for my head if you fall below our standards, and I really can’t bear getting shouted at by them again. It’s embarrassing enough that everyone knows about my past, but it’s worse when parents come in and yell about it in the corridors.”

Well, Taehyun did feel guilty for that. It was his fault his grades were falling, but she had taken the brunt of the anger from his parents. Apparently, since she was his supervising teacher, she was to blame for his shortcomings.

"I've already gotten into contact with a student to tutor you." Her words resonate through Taehyun before he snaps out of it and looks at her with shock. "Oh, don't look so surprised. The kid I spoke to is more than happy to take you on."

"Is this person in my year?" Taehyun would be lying if he said it didn't hurt his pride to be tutored by someone the same age as him. Getting told that he's gotten something wrong by them felt embarrassing, sort of insulting. Taehyun doesn't have a big ego—it's not like he thinks he's the best or anything—but it still hurts his pride.

"No," she says, and Taehyun lets out a sigh of relief. "His name's Choi Soobin, he's a year older, also a scholarship student who's currently ranked number one in our school."

Now that's pretty impressive. In all honesty, Taehyun found it difficult to balance his daily life with studies. He doesn't have a job or anything, but trying to live a normal teenage life hanging out with friends while drowning himself in studying was hard.

"I'll give you his contact details, so just work out something with him yourself." She reaches for her pen and scribbles some numbers onto a post-it note before handing it to him. "Remember, if you don't get your grades back on track before the end of the year, we'll have no choice but to drop you from our course."

The threats are delivered so casually, but Taehyun still gulps down the pressure and anxiety bubbling up within him and nods nervously. He accepts the chit of paper and makes his way out of the room, his heart stuck in his throat, and he catches sight of messages from his parents on his phone. They must've gotten an email about this, right? Taehyun holds a hand to his head and presses his fingers against his temples, hoping for some relief. This Soobin guy has to be some sort of miracle worker to be able to help Taehyun get his former position as number one back.

.✦ ݁˖

"Kang Taehyun-ssi?"

Taehyun glances up from his book and stares up at who he presumes is Soobin, with his mouth hanging open. Soobin looks a lot different from what he imagined. In his mind, Soobin had thick glasses, possibly a bowl cut, and the look of exhaustion hanging from his face. But this Choi Soobin  is nothing like that. He has jet black hair that goes past his ears, thin-rimmed glasses that fit perfectly upon his nose, and red-tinted cheeks. He has a pretty face, a cute and pretty face. He looks like the perfect standard for a K-pop idol.

“Uh, thanks,” Soobin answers, bowing his head to the side a little, looking embarrassed for Taehyun.

“Did I,” Taehyun stops, holding a hand over his face as realisation falls upon him. “Did I say all of that out loud?”

“Yeah,” Soobin mumbles, playing with his bag straps and trying his best to hide the awkward expression on his face. “Anyway, Ms Bae told me—” he pauses as he stutters over his words, the fact that he felt uneasy written all over his awkward smile, and Taehyun tries his best to hold his laugh back, especially when Soobin’s voice cracks. He sighs and stops talking altogether.

“What do you want to start with?” Taehyun asks, forcing away his smile when Soobin looks at him with a thankful expression.

“I wanted to see the scores you got for each test,” Soobin finally says once he’s got himself composed. He takes a seat next to Taehyun, pulling out a small notebook and pen. He looks so serious, like he was getting ready to work on something important. “After seeing them, I’ll be able to plan what you need to work on.”

Taehyun reaches for his bag and pulls a couple of papers out, feeling his cheeks heat up when Soobin’s eyes widen at the numbers written at the top of the page in red. They’re not terrible—of course, they’re not, how else would he have ended up in the top ten? But they’re not the scores someone like he should be achieving. 

It’s not like Taehyun always struggled to maintain his position. But whenever school ends and half his class rush to attend cram school, Taehyun feels envious of his friends who decide to go out and relax. Highschool is the time to be making memories with friends, living life, being young. He didn’t want to spend it stuck in cram school, but now he’s facing the consequence of skipping. 

“This isn’t bad,” Soobin says out of the blue when flipping through the pages. “To be honest, the only thing you’re doing wrong is going into too much detail for all your answers, and then getting marks knocked off.” Soobin brushes his hair out of his way and pushes his glasses back up his nose when he leans forward to point something out to Taehyun. “You see, over here you got the answer wrong because—”

And then Taehyun loses focus. How can he not when Soobin suddenly invades his personal space? Up close, he looks even cuter than before, although it looks like he hasn’t slept in a while—his dark eye bags a massive giveaway. Taehyun could see them despite the light makeup smudged over them. It’s a little endearing that he even tries to hide something like them, and did such a terrible job at it. Taehyun swallows hard when Soobin moves each closer, his pen pointing at something on the page that Taehyun was not looking at, too distracted by the sudden gush of perfume filling his senses. Soobin wore a sweet minty perfume, refreshing and strong. Taehyun glances up to see him suddenly scrunch his nose as he mumbles a few things that fly straight over his head. 

Taehyun turns his eyes away from Soobin’s face and onto his hands instead. He had small plasters wrapped around his fingers, and Taehyun frowned at the sight. Just what did he do to get hurt on his fingers? Did he study far too often and end up getting blisters? 

Mindlessly, Taehyun reaches out and softly traces the tip of his finger across Soobin’s wrist, surprised at how cold he is. Maybe it’s because the library had a terrible heating system, always down during the winter, but somehow working perfectly fine in the summer. Taehyun makes a mental note to ask Soobin to meet him somewhere else next time, somewhere with better heating. Without paying much attention to how Soobin had stopped talking, Taehyun slips his fingers around Soobin’s and gapes at how rough they feel. The only time Taehyun felt hands like these were when he’d held his mum’s hands and helped her with chores. Still in his own world, Taehyun brings their joint hands up to his face and twists them around, examining their differences. 

“Uhm,” Soobin’s feeble voice cuts through his thoughts, bringing him back into reality. “What are you doing?”

“Oh my god!” Taehyun abruptly lets go of Soobin’s hand and leans away from him. “I’m so sorry, it’s just, I found your hands interesting and then felt like touching them and…” 

“You…found my hands interesting,” Soobin repeats what he said, covering his hand with his other one before pulling his sleeves up in an attempt to feel less exposed. But what he doesn’t realise is that Taehyun can’t help but find him even cuter this way, awkwardly shifting his seat, probably wondering what kind of strange person Taehyun is. “Were you even listening to me?”

“Yes,” Taehyun lies, and quickly shifts around in his chair. “Let’s continue?”

Soobin looks reluctant to do so, but still nods along, writing up a list of areas he wants to go through with Taehyun. “You obviously have your head around the basics, so there’s no need to go too in-depth with that.” Soobin writes the last topic before slowly turning to Taehyun. “I thought we could just get familiar with each other today, then start the lessons from tomorrow onwards, if that’s alright with you?”

Taehyun nods absentmindedly. 

“I was…also wondering if, uh—” Soobin clears his throat, eyes unable to meet Taehyuns. “If we could meet up elsewhere? It doesn’t feel right talking in the library and it’s a little…”

“Cold?” Taehyun offers with a smile. Soobin peeks at him with wide eyes, nodding his head in agreement. “We could meet up at my house?”

“No,” Soobin answers a little too quickly, and it stabs Taehyun straight in the heart. “I mean,” Soobin coughs out, trying to clear the air when Taehyun’s face drops at his reply. “I was thinking we could stay back in school instead. Use one of the empty classes.”

“Would they allow us to do that?” Taehyun asks, and Soobin smiles in return.

“Why would they refuse their top students from using an empty classroom to study?”

.✦ ݁˖

“That’s called being a creep,” Kai comments on Taehyun’s finished retelling his story, looking up from his switch with a raised brow. “You’re a creep, Kang Taehyun.”

“I wasn’t trying to be creepy!” Taehyun cries, turning to Beomgyu for help. “Listen, when you see him for yourself, you’ll agree with me. He’s kind of really cute, it’s hard to look away. It’s like there’s something about him that’s calling out to me.”

Kai’s eyes follow the way Taehyun’s hand reaches out to nothing and he cringes. “Taehyun’s what every creep says,” he blurts out, immediately cursing when Taehyun elbows him. “Okay, fine. Show me this incredibly cute boy who’s caught your heartstrings.”

“He hasn’t caught my heartstrings,” Taehyun scoffs, kicking Kai’s leg before reaching for his phone. “I’m just saying he’s cute, nothing more than that.”

“Sure,” Beomgyu mumbles, holding his hands up to defend himself when Taehyun reaches to attack him next. By the time Taehyun pulls up his conversation with Soobin, the door to their classroom opens with a slam, causing everyone to startle and look towards it. And there stood the man of the hour, Soobin.

“I–sorry, I wasn't, uhm, I didn't mean to slam the door,” Soobin's apologies became quieter and quieter as more eyes fell upon him. 

“Is that your cute tutor?” Kai asks, leaning over his table to look past Taehyun at Soobin. He scans him up and down before nodding. “You did well. He is cute.”

A hit to the head from Beomgyu causes Kai to backtrack, turning to his boyfriend with his hands up in surrender. “I mean, he's not that—he’s not you, and I mean, you're—you’re gorgeous—” Beomgyu stops him halfway and tells him he's only messing around. But Taehyun can tell by the way Beomgyu strokes Kai's head, a sweet smile on his face, that it isn't a joke.

“Taehyun-ssi,” Soobin practically whispers, eyes unable to move from the ground. “I got the keys to my class, so after school, you can just come up there when you want.”

Taehyun hums in agreement and then holds his phone up. “You know, you could've just messaged me, right?” The look on Soobin's face makes Taehyun regret saying the words, immediately smiling and nodding. “But this was better? Thanks for telling me personally; otherwise, I probably would've missed the text since I don't use my phone much.”

It seems to work, with Soobin's face lightening up, and he smiles at Taehyun, saying, “No problem! Don't forget to come up after school, okay?”

“Okay!” Taehyun smiles back and waves at Soobin until he leaves.

“Well, well, well,” Kai snickers, nudging Taehyun's elbow. “It didn't take much for you to fold, huh?”

This time, Taehyun hits him on the head.

.✦ ݁˖

“Do you have to sit this close?” Soobin asks when their legs brush against each other for the tenth time in just the past two minutes. Taehyun looks up from where he’s pretending to read and tilts his head in confusion. 

“What do you mean?” Taehyun counters, leaning in with a pout. “You don’t like sitting next to me?”

“That’s not it!” Soobin shrinks in on himself and spins his pen on his hand. It’s a nervous tick, Taehyun’s realised after seeing him do it every time he gets close to Soobin. “It’s just, there’s a seat next to me, so why are you sitting opposite me on the same table?”

There isn’t much space between them, their legs meeting under the table, hands inches apart, even with Soobin’s chair not fully tucked under, they were unbelievably close. And it’s on purpose because Taehyun has this sudden urge to make Soobin conscious of him. It’s weird, out of character for himself, Taehyun agrees, but Soobin has such priceless reactions that it’s hard not to do just that. Every time their fingers would come within a close range, Soobin would jerk his hand back before Taehyun could touch him, and his face would easily show exactly what he was thinking.

“This is easier,” Taehyun states, and then shuffles on his chair to become even closer.

“Taehyun,” now Soobin sounds stern, “It’s been five days since we started these lessons, and it feels like we’ve barely even made any progress.”

Soobin sounds tired, and Taehyun feels a little guilty for being the reason, especially while knowing that Soobin has his own studies to focus on. He isn’t purposely not paying attention; it’s just that being in such a close environment with Soobin makes him lose his train of thought. Soobin is just distracting. That’s right, he’s distracting. He’s cute and adorable, and every other synonym for those words. He tends to brush his not-so-long hair behind his ears—which only makes Taehyun think he must’ve had longer hair before—and scrunch his nose whenever he messes a question up, chewing on his lips as if that’ll help him. 

“You’re very distracting,” Taehyun internally curses at the fact that he has zero brain-to-mouth filter, but then Soobin flinches at his words, and a blush creeps its way up to his neck, and now Taehyun has no regrets. So worth it. 

“Well, what am I supposed to do about that?” Soobin huffs out and sits back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. He looks so…cute. Taehyun needs to find a new word besides that to describe him, but it’s even harder to think about that when Soobin’s frown deepens. “I can’t exactly explain everything to you over the phone.”

Taehyun ponders for a moment and then smiles brightly at Soobin. “How about you distract me differently?”

Soobin looks hesitant, which makes sense. Taehyun’s been spewing nonsense ever since they met—and they only met just over a week ago, so they don’t even know each other well. Soobin has no obligation to trust Taehyun or think he’s going to say something that would be worth considering. Regardless of that, Soobin stays silent, clicking his pen anxiously and gesturing for Taehyun to explain himself.

“How about you set a reward for me?” Taehyun suggests, and Soobin immediately rolls his eyes.

“Your reward is that you get to continue attending this school, how’s that?” Soobin replies with a sly smile, and Taehyun wonders where this sarcastic streak of him came from—he wants to see it more often, to be honest. 

“But that’s a given!” Taehyun argues, hoping that his words would come off convincing. “Yeah, sure, I’ll get to stay here, but I want a reward from you, not the school.”

Soobin pauses and turns his attention to the table. The fact that he’s thinking this hard just for him feels a little refreshing. Taehyun is prepared to get rejected immediately upon suggesting it, but Soobin looks serious, frowning to himself and repeating the words softly. 

“What…” Soobin begins quietly, looking a little scared. “What kind of reward do you want?”

He agreed, Taehyun thinks, surprised that Soobin gave in so quickly. He had assumed that Soobin would be a little more strong on his word and not let himself get carried away by Taehyun. Now that he had agreed, Taehyun had to think of something off the top of his head. The only thing that came to mind was from the movie his sister had watched yesterday. For the sake of just saying something, Taehyun carefully places his hands on the table and stands up a little, just enough so that he’s hovering over Soobin. The older boy glances up at him in confusion, but allows Taehyun to speak. 

“How about a kiss?”

.✦ ݁˖

“I believe that was deserved,” Kai giggles, but still takes an ice pack out and holds it to Taehyun. “Who in their right mind would say yes to kissing you?”

“Everyone but Choi Soobin, apparently,” Taehyun rumbles, holding the ice pack to his cheek, in hopes that the swelling will lessen so he can go home. There’s no way he would be able to make it past the front door and not cause a whole scene with his parents freaking out and contacting the school. 

“He seems shy, why would you ask him so bluntly?” Kai shakes his head and pats Taehyun’s arm in an attempt to comfort him. It is not working. Taehyun’s face is still burning under the ice, probably red and ugly. Neither is his heart feeling any better, getting rejected so brutally. “I’m not going to ask why you offered a kiss when you claim he ‘has not caught your heartstrings’, but he’s one thing for sure. He’s not going to say yes to a stranger asking him for a kiss.”

Taehyun shrugs his hand off and reaches for his phone that’s on charge. There’s a few messages from his parents saying they’ll be coming home late and then a few from a group chat he forgot he was a part of. And then, at the bottom of the entire list—a missed call from Soobin.

Jumping up in surprise, almost causing Kai to fall off the bed, Taehyun unplugs his phone and runs out onto the balcony. He shuts the door behind, not missing the way Kai curses him for taking away all the heat in his room, and calls Soobin. 

“Hello?” Soobin’s voice is quiet as if he’s whispering, and there’s a ton of background noise blocking Taehyun’s thought process. “Taehyun?”

“Ah, yes,” Taehyun nods to himself and wraps his arms around himself when he finally registers the cold air around him. “You called me earlier. Was it something important?”

There’s a moment where Soobin doesn’t say anything and the background sound quiets down until there’s none, and the two of them stay on call in silence. Taehyun can hear his pulse in his ear, and the winds are a bit too chilly for him to stay out for too long, but he can’t end the call and go back in just yet. Not before Soobin tells him what he needs to. 

“I called earlier because, uhm…” Soobin sounds nervous, and Taehyun can’t help but smile to himself. He’s probably fidgeting with his fingers on the other side of the call. “What you said today, in the classroom…oh! First, let me apologise for hitting you with my bottle, it just surprised me a little.”

“No, no, it’s fine, I also—” Before Taehyun can apologise for suggesting such a bizarre idea, Soobin cuts him off.

“I’ll give you the reward.”

A second passes as Taehyun waits for Soobin to tell him he’s just joking, and then another passes, and then Taehyun chokes on air. He kneels down, holding his hand to his chest as Soobin fills his ears with calls of concern. 

“You’ll give me the reward. By the reward, are you referring to the kiss I mentioned?” Taehyun really hopes the light from Kai’s room is dim enough to hide the blush on his face. If Kai sees him like this, he’ll definitely laugh at him. 

Soobin clears his throat and hums in agreement. “If you manage to score over 95 per cent in the next class test, I’ll give you the reward.” 

Then, just as Taehyun tries to form a sentence, Soobin ends the call, leaving a confused yet satisfied Taehyun alone on the balcony. The door slowly opens and Taehyun glances up to see Kai looking down at him with a smug smile.

“What’s got you looking so red, buddy?”

.✦ ݁˖

The next few sessions are as awkward as they can get, with Soobin being conscious of every little thing Taehyun does, and vice versa. At one point, Taehyun tried swatting a bug away and ended up brushing his fingers against Soobin’s cheek, and the older boy almost shrieked and jumped away. Talk about overreacting. It was awkward, but definitely less distracting. Taehyun’s been locked in, trying his hardest to perfect his work, and Soobin’s been helping him through it all. 

“The test is next week,” Taehyun says when they realise the sun’s almost set and most of the students have already left. 

Soobin stuffs his book into his bag and sloppily throws it over his shoulder. “That means you’ll get the result in about two weeks, right?”

Taehyun nods, and the two turn away from each other in the realisation that it’s almost time to see if he’s going to get his reward. As they walk down the corridor side by side, exchanging a few words about how they’re going to spend their weekend, Taehyun thinks of an idea. “How about you come over to mine tomorrow? That way we can continue the lessons.”

Soobin opens his mouth to agree when he suddenly slaps his own hand against it. “I’m sorry, I can’t come on a Saturday.”

Taehyun raises a brow. “What comes?”

Soobin looks around them before grabbing Taehyun’s wrist, dragging him around the corner and pushing him against the wall. Taehyun’s eyes widen as Soobin takes hold of his collar and leans in. His heart's about to jump out of his chest with how close Soobin is, eyes dropping down to the elders lips and—are they going to kiss now? Taehyun doesn’t mind, he just wishes he got more time to prepare for this, after all, his lips are all chapped and dry, and weren’t they talking about something right now? What in the—

“I have a part-time job on the other side of town,” Soobin whispers. 

“You work?” Taehyun blurts out loudly and ends up having Soobin cover his mouth as well. So, not kissing just yet. “Sorry, sorry. You work?”

“Yeah, my dad’s salary just about breaks even, so I took it upon myself to take care of some things for him,” Soobin smiles and pushes himself away. “It doesn’t pay all that great, especially since when they figured out I was below working age, they paid me as little as they could. But it’s something! It works out.”

“You’re quite responsible, do you have any siblings?” Taehyun asks, following Soobin as they begin to make their way out of school. Since they live in the same direction, they figured they could walk home together till they had to split. It’s a little nerve-wracking, in Taehyun’s opinion. The way Soobin walks is not simple. He always sways a little to the right, or randomly switches the side he’s holding his bag whenever Taehyun gets too close, and his hand is always out there. At one point, Taehyun almost grabs it, but the last bit of sense in his head stops him. 

Soobin shakes his head. “I used to live with my aunt before, so I guess you could count my older cousins as siblings, but we didn’t really speak much.”

Taehyun’s dying of curiosity, so many questions springing to mind just from that one bit of information shared to him. The look on Soobin’s face is a little alarming, so Taehyun decides against prying. It isn’t any of his business and he doesn’t want Soobin to feel awkward, or even more guarded around him. It’s already taken a while before Soobin begins to speak to him less formally, Taehyun doesn’t want to go straight back to square one. 

.✦ ݁˖

“Poor Soobin-sunbae,” Kai holds a hand to his eye, wiping a fake tear away. “Now he has to kiss your dumb ass.”

“Hey!” Taehyun slaps Kai’s face away from his test results and quickly stands up before anyone can notice the enormous smile on his face. “Don’t rain on my parade.”

Kai opens his mouth to say something when Beomgyu pulls him back by his shirt. “Go kiss your man, Tyun.”

As embarrassing as it is for that to be said outloud, Taehyun shoots Beomgyu a thankful smile before hurrying out of his class. Their last lesson just wrapped up and it’s a Tuesday, which means Soobin would still be in school, probably stuck with some class duty. Pushing past a few students gathered by the staircase, Taehyun runs up the stairs two steps at a time. His heart's pounding and chest heaving with deep breaths when he reaches Soobin’s classroom door. There’s a moment of silence before he opens the door and stares at the older boy. 

Soobin parts his lips to say something, but then stops and focuses his eyes on the paper that Taehyun’s clutching between his fingers. His eyes widen as realisation draws upon his confused face, and he’s fast in packing his bag and excusing himself for duty. No one questions why the two of them look so nervous, and neither do they point it out. 

They make it down the stairs, out the school entrance, and soon find themselves at the bus stop they normally stand at together. It feels oddly emptier, and that might be because they’re part of the few kids that live in that direction, but Taehyun feels really self-conscious at the moment, and he wonders if the students who did come there purposely went another way. The silence isn’t scary, neither is it uncomfortable, but Taehyun has no idea how he’s supposed to ask the question that they’re both waiting for. He knows he needs to ask it before parting ways, however, there’s a lot of pressure on him and the mood still doesn’t feel right. 

He can see from the corner of his eye that Soobin’s preparing himself by trying to calm his heart down, and he mirrors it. Closing his eyes to take a deep breath, Taehyun turns his head to Soobin.

“I got 98 per cent,” he says, feeling a sense of pride when Soobin’s lips tug up into a smile. The silence continues for a while longer as their bus comes along. Taehyun perks up and glances over to Soobin in panic. He wants to make sure he’ll get his reward, but the words just can’t seem to come out. For being so confident when asking for this, Taehyun feels anxious actually going through with it. 

Soobin still has a smile on his face as he starts walking up to the bus. Taehyun’s face drops as he realises that maybe Soobin’s forgotten about what the reward was, or maybe he was fooling him this whole time and never planned to kiss him. He can’t even feel betrayed, not when the entire idea was childish and not something he would do usually anyway. With his tail tucked between his legs, Taehyun pouts and follows after Soobin. 

But then Soobin abruptly stops walking and turns around. “Taehyun-ah,” he says, the fond smile on his face still there. “Well done.”

Then Soobin leans forward, grabbing Taehyun’s hand and guiding the paper he’s holding to hide them from the people on the bus. And then before Taehyun can understand what’s happening, Soobin kisses him. It’s more like a peck, as Soobin almost immediately pulls away, their lips meeting for just a second, but it’s enough to knock the air out of Taehyun. He’s speechless as Soobin gives him another smile before hopping onto the bus. The bus driver calls out to him, asking him if he’s going to climb on, but he can’t seem to form a sentence. 

The doors to the bus close with a hiss and it begins to drive past him when Taehyun snaps back into reality. He looks up to see Soobin waving at him from the window, and God, his face must be so red if that’s what Soobin looks like. He never expected Soobin to take the initiative, but more than that, he didn’t think a kiss that lasted that short would make his heartbeat that fast. 

.✦ ݁˖

Taehyun’s a little surprised when he arrives at school in the morning, pumped up and ready to finally face Soobin, to find out that he isn’t there. He lurks near Soobin’s classroom, eyeing everyone that walks in and wondering where the hell elder could be, until a tall boy with hair dyed pink suddenly walks out. 

“You,” he says, his voice on the more nasal side as he points at Taehyun. “Lost kitty, who are you looking for?”

“At least try to not sound mean,” a shorter boy, who appears beside him, says. “Sorry about him.”

“I’m not being mean!” The first guy huffs, his voice suddenly higher. “Well then, who are you?”

Taehyun glances between the two of them and then into the room. He’s seen these two near Soobin a few times before, so maybe they’ll know why he isn’t in. “I’m Kang Taehyun, I’ve been getting tutored by Soobin for the past few weeks.”

“Taehyun?” The first guy repeats and then lightens up. “Ah, Taehyun! Of course, I know who you are. Come on in, don’t be shy around us. A friend of Soobinnie’s is a friend of ours.”

Taehyun somehow ends up dragged into the classroom and the two boys surround him, stars sparkling in their eyes as they stare at him. He’s confused and wants to know why they’re acting this way around him, but then the thought that maybe Soobin had told them something flashed through his mind and he shrinks in his seat. He hopes it’s something good, but knowing their track history, he wouldn’t be surprised if they thought he’s a creep. 

“My name’s Wooyoung,” the shorter one introduces himself.

“I’m Yeonjun,” the taller one says, before squinting his eyes. “Now, explain yourself. Why were you hiding behind the door?”

“I wasn’t hiding,” Taehyun mumbles, feeling exposed as he was caught red-handed. “I was just checking to see if Soobin was here.”

“He’s not feeling well, said he caught something and can’t make it. He’s going to miss out on so much classwork,” Wooyoung sighs dramatically, leaning into Yeonjun’s side before gasping. “Hey, why don’t you go over to his house and give him the worksheets for today?”

Yeonjun snaps his head towards Wooyoung. “What? I could go instead, he lives so clo—”

“Because we have club activities to get to,” Wooyoung grabs Yeonjun’s arm and squeezes it lightly, none of this getting past Taehyun. “And if I remember correctly, your years club activities were put to a half because of your class tests?”

“Yeah,” Taehyun absentmindedly nods, accepting the bunch of papers Wooyoung spawns out of nowhere. He barely gets any time to process what’s happening before he’s shoved out of the classroom by Wooyoung, and the post-it-note that gets slapped onto his forehead. He peels it off himself and reads the contents. “Oh my god,” he says to himself. “I’m going to Soobin’s house.”

.✦ ݁˖

The bell at Soobin's house rings and Taehyun patiently waits outside, his hands sweaty from how nervous he feels. The door opens slowly before revealing a dishevelled looking Soobin, his eyes swollen, cheeks flushed, and hair a greasy mess, clothing falling off of his shaky figure, and his mouth sits wide open in shock. 

“Taehyun?” He asks in surprise, his voice raspy as if he’s been coughing for hours. And then the door shuts close. Taehyun blinks a few times in confusion and reaches out to ring the bell once again when the door reopens. This time Soobin’s got a beanie over his head with a face mask on. His clothes are pat-down neatly and Taehyun looks down to hide his laughter. “What are you doing here? Actually, no. How did you find out where I live?”

“Wooyoung-sunbae told me,” Taehyun answers, shifting from one foot to another. “He said that since he has club activities that I should come over to hand these sheets to you.”

“Club activities? What was he on about, they’ve been closed for class tests,” Soobin mumbles, looking at Taehyun. And well, Taehyun figured something was up, especially with how Yeonjun seemed so worked up about Wooyoung giving him the papers. “Anyways, since you call all the way here, do you want something to eat or drink?”

“Soobin, you’re the one who’s sick,” Taehyun lightly taps his shoulder and takes a step in. “Excuse me, now go get into bed. I’ll make something for you.”

“You don’t have to do anything like that,” Soobin says, looking reluctant and trying to follow Taehyun into the kitchen. But as he almost trips and breaks his head, he lets Taehyun guide him back to his bedroom and into bed. Taehyun tries his best to not stare at the walls around him, notes hanging on some parts of the room, the remaining walls bare. It looks…a little empty, like he hasn’t really been living in it, but Taehyun chalks it up to him being too busy to focus on interior design. 

“I bought some on the way here,” Taehyun explains sheepishly as he holds a bowl of porridge, shuffling closer to the bed. He takes a seat on the edge and scoops some porridge on the spoon, waving it slowly to let it lose some heat before holding it out to Soobin. The older boy lowers his mask and complains that he can eat on his own. “Fine, try holding the spoon.”

Soobin frowns and reaches out for the spoon. His grip’s too loose and the food almost spills on him. He shoots Taehyun a glare before parting his lips, allowing Taehyun to feed him. 

“Just let me take care of you,” Taehyun whispers, focusing on being careful with feeding Soobin, trying his best to not get distracted by the way Soobin’s lips drag across the spoon. He decides to fill the silence as he remembers they haven’t addressed the kiss from yesterday. “What time does your dad come back from work?”

“Eight,” Soobin quickly answers before getting ready for another bite, already looking a little more energised than before. Taehyun smiles and holds the spoon back up to his lips. “Normally, he leaves work at 5, but there was a lot to do today, and his colleagues wanted to go out for dinner as well. He couldn’t refuse.”

"Why not?" Taehyun asks, annoyed that his dad wasn't even going to be home to check up on Soobin. What is Soobin supposed to do about dinner if he;s stuck in bed and his dad’s eating out?

"You know how seniors at work are," Soobin says, looking distraught. "If he didn't tag along then they would immediately label him as the one who didn't listen to them."

Anger fills Taehyun but he remains quiet because he’s right, he’s probably hung up with something and he can’t refuse. It still annoys him, thinking that Soobin will have to try and take care of himself. The elder will be more affected by this yet he’s acting calm, Taehyun has to do the same. Taking a deep breath, Taehyun shakes off everything and continues to feed Soobin, the warm atmosphere making him feel at ease.

A few moments after the food finishes, Soobin takes his medicine, and the dishes are washed away, Taehyun returns to the bedroom and takes a seat beside Soobin, who’s laying flat on the back now. The elder turns to him with wide eyes. 

“What, why are you looking at me?” Taehyun chuckles and pretends to be nonchalant when inside he’s worrying over how he might look. Is there something on his face? 

“I was just wondering if you really even needed me to tutor you,” Soobin says softly, his eyes dropping. “Should we just stop now?”

"No!" Taehyun leans down and caresses Soobin's cheek, worried that the older boy is trying to get rid of him. "Let's keep this up till I can maintain the first place on my own, yeah?"

Soobin nods along as his eyes continue to close slowly. "That'll be nice. I like this, like it better than when my cousins used to tutor me."

“Your cousins used to tutor you?”

“Yeah,” Soobin giggles, looking a little delirious which may have been because of the medicine. “Except, they were a lot more strict. They’d take away my meals if I didn’t get certain grades, or take my rewards away when I achieved better than them.”

Taehyun holds a hand over Soobin's mouth to stop him from talking. He didn’t want to hear all this when Soobin isn’t even in his right mind. He wants to hear it from Soobin when the older boy feels comfortable enough with sharing information as such. He sighs and then leans in closer, removing his hand to curl it around Soobin’s cheek. "Anyways, I like this too."

Soobin closes his eyes, looking peaceful and calm. He looks better than when Taehyun saw him just an hour ago, redness returned to his cheeks. Taehyun’s eyes drop to Soobin’s lips, unable to help himself as he moves forward to close the gap between them when Soobin suddenly places his hands over his lips. “Next time,” he whispers, sleep hovering right above him. “Get full marks.” 

.✦ ݁˖

“Who are you texting?” Kai asks from behind his book. Taehyun looks up from his phone and glares at Kai. “Is it Soobin hyung?”

“Don’t call him that,” Taehyun grumbles, throwing a pen at Kai when he sticks his tongue out. “Since when did you get familiar with him, hm?”

“Since yesterday,” Kai snickers and shows Taehyun a glance from his chat with Soobin. All Taehyun gets to see are a string of heart emojis and his blood begins to boil. “We exchanged numbers and he allowed me to call him hyung.”

"That's stupid, delete his number right now, no actually not just that, block him, he doesn't need a friend like you," Taehyun stands up and starts to smack Kai with a pillow, who only laughs in response and quickly spins around to grab Taehyun's phone. 

"Let's meet at my house for the weekend!" Kai reads out his message and jumps up when Taehyun launches himself towards him. "Your house? Yeah, since the library's too cold for you and we can't meet up at school. I'd rather meet up at school on a Saturday than go to your house," Kai pauses and then bursts into laughter. "He rejected you!"

"He didn't reject the idea! Look, he then agrees— wait, don't look, pass it back," Taehyun climbs onto Kai and peels his fingers open to retrieve his phone. "Asshole."

Kai watches as Taehyun quickly deletes the messages that had accidentally been sent when they were fighting over his phone. "So," Kai smiles. "What's up with the two of you? Are you guys just flirting, is it one-sided from your way? Are you forcing Soobin hyung to keep talking to you? What are you threatening Soobin hyung with to make him keep replying to you?"

"I didn't do anything," Taehyun mumbles, locking his phone and putting it aside. "And for now, we're friends."

"For now," Kai follows up and shuffles closer to Taehyun. "How long do you reckon it’ll be ‘for now’?”

"I don't know," Taehyun replies, looking away. "I like how we are right now. It’s nice, he’s nice. I…I just can’t tell if he’s being nice to me because I’ve put him in a position where he feels like he has to go long with the things I say."

"Has he said something to make you feel this way?" Kai is relentless as he continues with his questioning. Taehyun barely forms a reply when Kai shoots the next question at him. Honestly, it doesn’t seem like Soobin’s forcing himself to go along with whatever Taehyun’s throwing his way. But sometimes, when Taehyun’s in the middle of rambling about something, he freezes and starts to overthink that he might be bothering Soobin more than anything. Soobin always reassures him that he wants to hear more, but it still gets him thinking. 

And the kisses. They’ve kissed three times now, each time being a simple peck, which hurts Taehyun’s soul because he so badly wants more, but he’s managed. 

“I like him,” Taehyun admits, shrinking in on himself when Kai stops in surprise. “But I don’t know how he feels about it, if he feels anything.”

Kai’s arms wrap around him and his friend giggles quietly to himself. “You’re so cute, Taehyunnie, how could he not like you?”

Taehyun closes his eyes and allows Kai to keep him in the embrace. It's a little nice, Kai always gives great hugs and that was something Taehyun knew since he was younger. Normally, whenever Kai hugged him his mind would go blank and he'd think things through rationally. But for the first time, Taehyun leans in closer and wonders how it would feel to hold Soobin in his arms.

.✦ ݁˖

“You haven’t earned it!” Soobin whines as Taehyun cages him between his arms and the bed. Soobin holds his hands over Taehyun’s mouth and scowls. “The test is next week, I know for sure you haven’t gotten results for anything back yet.”

“I’m not doing this because of the rewards system,” Taehyun says against Soobin’s hand, poking his tongue out to tease the elder a little. The look on Soobin’s face is enough to boost his confidence. “I just want a kiss.”

“But then that defeats the purpose of the reward,” Soobin says, but his voice comes out small. “If we kiss now, then what would the reward for your next test be?”

“We’ll think about that then,” Taehyun answers, leaning closer, feeling the grip of Soobin’s hand over his mouth loosen. With a smile, he brings his hand up to slowly peel off Soobin’s glasses and asks one last time, “So, can I?”

“You,” Soobin pauses, biting his lip and then nods ever so slightly. “You better get full marks next time.”

“I will,” Taehyun says, his lips already brushing against Soobin’s. “You don’t need to worry about that.”

And finally, for the first time since they started the rewards system, Taehyun lets himself take Soobin the way he wants him. He presses his lips against Soobin’s plumper ones, his hands travelling down the older boy's face to his neck, fingers trailing past his shirt and to his waist. He feels small under Taehyun as he hovers over him, kissing him gently, pulling away to place pecks before leaning in deeper. He can tell Soobin’s never kissed before, with the way he clings to Taehyun’s shirt, muffled gasps leaving him as Taehyun runs his tongue across his bottom lip.

He doesn’t know what to do, Taehyun figures, sliding his hand under Soobin’s shirt and the elder immediately parts his lips in surprise. Taehyun can feel the heat radiating from Soobin’s body, the way he twitches every time their lips glide against one another, the sound between them getting wetter as Taehyun doesn’t let up. He runs his thumb against the bare skin under Soobin’s shirt, relishing in the way the elder’s back arches into him, fingers shaking where he clutches Taehyun. 

“Soobin hyung,” Taehyun mumbles, unable to stop himself from pulling away and looking down at him, a smug smile on his face when he notices just how much the kissing affected him. Soobin looks up at him with a dazed look on his face, wet lips parted as he waits for Taehyun to return. So, of course, he dives right back in. 

Taehyun doesn’t know how much time they spend like that, leaning on his arms on top of Soobin, licking into his mouth, kissing him with all the want he’s been holding back on this whole time. Soobin’s breathing grows heavier by the second, hands sliding up until he wraps his arms around Taehyun’s neck and drags him down closer. 

It’s only when Taehyun loses strength for a second and his weight presses into Soobin that they both flinch away from each other, the heat between their lower halves meeting and causing them to snap back into reality. 

The papers they were working on sat far away from them on the desk beside the bed, untouched for who knows how long. But as Taehyun pants, staring down at Soobin, he can’t imagine leaving him to return to studying. So he wipes the drool trailing down Soobin’s jaw and asks, “Just a little more, please?”

Soobin blinks up at him slowly, swallowing hard before nodding. “5 more minutes.”

“Just five.”

Taehyun doesn’t leave until well after the sun sets, and his lips feel swollen, but he doesn’t regret any second of it.

.✦ ݁˖

Ever since the first time they properly kissed, it's like the dam doors have been opened; Taehyun can't stop kissing him. Whenever he gets a question right, Taehyun perks his lips up, leaning towards Soobin and patiently waiting. Surprisingly, Soobin goes along with it, pecking his lips quickly before pulling away, in case anyone walks into the classroom. And there's only so much they can do in school, but when they're at Soobin's place, Taehyun can't hold himself back.

“That's enough,” Soobin barely manages to pant out before Taehyun takes his lips once again, caressing his cheek and tilting his head up by his chin. Their lips mold into one, perfectly fitting every time they press together. Taehyun's entirely sure now that the kissing is helping. Every time he struggles on a question he looks up and finds Soobin staring back at him, a familiar desire in his eyes, waiting for him to get the question right. “Taehyun-ah.”

“You always say this,” Taehyun says in between kisses before finally pulling away far enough to speak. “But look at you.”

He gestures to the way Soobin's hand rests at the back of his neck, trying to pull him back in, his lips inviting and eyes barely open. 

Upon feeling exposed, Soobin clears his throat and schools his face, pushing Taehyun away by his shoulders. “Whatever, come on, pack your things. You should get going now.”

It's always just before sunset that Taehyun collects his things and gets himself ready to leave. The completed work feels light in his bag, same as his heart as he can still feel the touch of Soobin's lips against his. He might be a kissing addict, Soobin's made him one unintentionally.

“Oh right,” Soobin says from behind him, crossing his arms as he leans on the entrance wall. “Don't forget to think of something for your reward. Your final exams are just around the corner.”

Taehyun ties his shoelaces as an idea comes to mind. He quietly opens the door and holds a foot out, contemplating whether he should say it or not. He doesn't have a full idea on what Soobin feels for him, but as a wise person once said, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. 

“Hey, Soobin hyung.”

“Yeah?” Soobin looks calm, relaxed, like he's feeling good. Taehyun can only hope he's feeling this way because of him, and that his next words won't ruin any of that.

“How about for the next reward…” He swallows down any hesitation as Soobin's ear perks up. “If I get full marks, will you go out with me? On a date.”

Soobin's jaw drops and Taehyun immediately regrets everything, all his worries coming back and reminding him of why he hadn't made a move on Soobin this whole time. He doesn't let Soobin reply, spinning on his heel and slamming the door shut behind himself. He's already half way down the road when he hears Soobin try to follow after him, calling his name out—he doesn't dare to turn around. The look on Soobin's face just now was enough for Taehyun to understand his answer. He was being a little too hopeful, after all, Soobin had made it clear he was just doing this to help him with his ranking.

But…when he had come over to take care of Soobin when he was sick, it seemed like the older boy wanted him close. He even said he was happy with the way things were. And yet, just now, he looked shocked that Taehyun would suggest such a thing as a date between the two of them. 

Stupid, Taehyun thinks to himself, lightly slapping his cheeks. The one thing he didn't want to ruin. 

.✦ ݁˖

A whole week. Taehyun has been avoiding Soobin for a whole week now. Whenever the older boy came to his classroom and asked for him, Taehyun would slip through the second door or hide behind his desk. It is childish, he knows. He should face rejection properly, allow the burden to get off Soobin's chest, but he also wants him to think about it for a while longer. Maybe if Soobin keeps thinking about it, he'll feel less put off by the idea and perhaps consider it. 

“What's wrong?” Beomgyu asks when Taehyun slumps down in his seat. “You look sad. Why does Taehyunnie look sad?”

Beomgyu's not asking seriously, but with the hand in his hair accompanying the sweet voice he's using, Taehyun can't help but feel a little teary-eyed. “I am sad,” Taehyun answers, raising his head to pout at Beomgyu. “I'm sad and feel like crawling into bed and crying my eyes out.”

Alright, a little dramatic. But he's being honest. Ever since he got back from Soobin's, anything and everything's been making him feel emotional. The confessions got him sensitive—he even teared up watching an ad about some new game releasing, it is that bad.

Beomgyu blinks down at him before reaching out to pat his cheek softly. “Go on, let it all out. Tell me everything.”

“I’m not a baby,” Taehyun's about to slap Beomgyu’s hand away, but he likes the attention so he decides against it. “I messed up.”

“Messed up?”

It's one thing telling Kai about this, they've been best friends since forever, but talking to Beomgyu about it makes it feel more serious than it might be. He only met Beomgyu a year and a half ago, when Kai introduced him as his boyfriend, and his first impression was that he was loud and unpredictable. But after getting to know him, he's realised he's a lot softer and attentive than he lets on. Especially why, with Beomgyu looking at him with warm eyes, Taehyun feels comfortable opening up. 

“I asked,” Taehyun sighs, lowering his gaze so he doesn't have to see how Beomgyu might react. “I asked Soobin out, and he looked weirded out by me.”

Beomgyu’s hand stops moving and for a moment Taehyun thinks he's going to tell him off for thinking something so absurd was possible. But then he caresses Taehyun's head and shuffles closer, so that others around then wouldn't hear them.

“First of all, well done on confessing,” Beomgyu says, a smile on his face. “Secondly, are you sure that the guy you've been secretly making out with was weirded out? Maybe it's a misunderstanding, what if you misread his expression?”

When worded like that, as embarrassing as it was, Taehyun could see what Beomgyu meant. If Soobin was alright with kissing him all the time, why wouldn't he be okay with a date? It was all so confusing, Taehyun wishes he could read minds.

“Ah! I'm so frustrated and tired,” Taehyun grumbles, tugging at his hair. “We have finals in less than two months, and I really can't be bothered to study. But if I give up now, it would be a waste of all his efforts.”

Beomgyu opens his mouth to say something when a knock on the classroom door makes everyone in the class stop.

“Taehyun,” Soobin's voice is loud and clear, and the boy mentioned freezes in pulling his hair out. He turns around to find Soobin staring at him with wide eyes, probably surprised to see that he hasn't sprinted off yet. Taehyun almost makes a run for the door when Beomgyu grabs his arm, jerking him down onto the ground. The sound of chairs sliding against the floor echoes, and Taehyun hears a few people laugh at him from his side. 

Embarrassment fills him, but it doesn't stay for too long as Soobin suddenly rushed in, grabbing his wrist where Beomgyu’s hand previously was. Taehyun barely has any time to react before he's getting dragged down the corridor, past a few people from his class looking at them in confusion. 

Soobin's panting by the time they finally stop, and Taehyun can't help but be amused that the elder was the one dragging him about yet was tired first. They're standing in the library, in a section not many people hang around, and Soobin looks angry. He looks annoyed, angry, upset—Taehyun doesn't know what's going on.

“Okay, be honest,” Soobin sighs, catching his breath and taking the chance to slap Taehyun's arm. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

"I wasn't avoiding you," the lie slips out faster than his brain processes it and Taehyun receives another slap to the arm. 

"Is this because of what you said to me last time?" Soobin asks with uncertainty. "Or is it because of something I did? Did I forget that we had plans for something? Just tell me, I'll apologise for it. Please don't avoid me."

He hadn't even thought about this, that Soobin wouldn't know what the reason behind his avoidance was. It's pretty obvious, to Taehyun at least, that he's obviously avoiding him because of what he said, but then again Soobin seemed fairly clueless when it came to friends. 

"I'm sorry," Taehyun apologises, lowering his head in guilt. "You did nothing wrong. I was avoiding you because of the reward I had suggested."

"The reward of the two of us dating?" When Taehyun nods solemnly, Soobin lets out a deep sigh of relief. He leans against one of the bookshelves and crouches down. Taehyun watches him and then awkwardly follows him. He takes a seat on the floor and nervously pokes Soobin's arm. 

"Are you angry?" Taehyun plays with his fingers as Soobin doesn't respond. He is angry, isn't he? He is so angry that Taehyun thought he could suggest such an idea and that it would be alright. Taehyun had seen Kai pine over Beomgyu before asking him out as quickly as possible, afraid that someone else might swoop in and take him, so he was under the assumption that things would work out easily. But seeing his reaction now, Taehyun feels bad for even thinking about it. 

"Taehyun," Soobin raises his head and then slips his hand into Taehyun's. "I'm not angry that you asked me out. I'm angry that you asked me, and then ran out before I could answer. I've been trying to talk to you in person for so long now, and you run away every time. Do you really think that after everything we did, I would be horrible to you?”

Taehyun doesn't know how to reply and simply stays quiet. He feels hope bubbling in his chest and tries his best to keep it down, but then Soobin sighs again and pulls him into an embrace. It's awkward, they're leaning into each other at an angle, but to feel Soobin's arms around him is so relieving. 

“Listen, I'm not against it. If you get first place in your final exams, and are still up for it…if your mind hasn't changed, then I'm more than happy to date you.”

.✦ ݁˖

“You need to be more careful,” Taehyun grumbles, holding Soobin's hand in his. He peels open a plaster and wraps it around one of Soobin's fingers, a grimace on his face as he watches the splotchy red skin with a scar get covered behind the plastic. “I still don't understand how you get hurt so easily.”

“I was talking to my coworker and didn't see one of the customers coming from my left,” Soobin explains, shyly looking away when Taehyun looks up and glares at him. “I got distracted and ended up dropping a plate. It was too sharp when I picked it up.”

"I'll say this again," Taehyun sighs and then throws the wrapper of the plaster away. "You need to be more careful. Like, look at your hands! If people saw them they'd probably assume you do some sort of dangerous job, when you're actually just working at a restaurant."

“I’d argue that's dangerous.”

“Shut up.”

Soobin stays silent the rest of the time as Taehyun tends to his other wounds. They were at Taehyun's place after school had finished. The second Taehyun caught sight of Soobin's hands, he immediately dragged the older boy with him until he was sitting on Taehyun's bed with his hands out. 

“Taehyun-ah,” Soobin starts off quietly, leaning in close. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

Taehyun pauses his work to stare at Soobin. "You don't need to thank me for caring about you. When you're friends with people this kind of thing is normal."

"It is?" The fact that Soobin sounds genuinely surprised stings Taehyun a little. He can already guess the reason why Soobin had made such an assumption about how friends work, but he's been patiently waiting for him to bring it up himself. "When I was younger—I told you this already, right? I lived with my cousin's."

“Mhm.”

Soobin leans back as he continues, “Their way of taking care of me was…questionable. The only reason I was with them was because my dad couldn't afford to house me with him, and well, my aunt didn't want her only sister's son to stay in a house that was struggling.”

Soobin pauses, chewing the inside of his cheek. “It wasn't any better with them, to be honest. At least when I was with my dad, he would give me meals, even if that meant he'd skip some himself.”

Taehyun listens the entire time to everything Soobin has to say. For the first time in a while, they have a conversation about Soobin. It's usually one-sided, with Taehyun going on about his life. But for once, Soobin finally speaks to him about things of the past, of how he feels now, of why he's glad he's here and not half way across the country surrounded by people who never appreciated him.

And Taehyun feels happy, knowing he's one of the only people Soobin trusts to tell this to. 

.✦ ݁˖

"A week before finals," Kai says, staring at the ceiling with a blank face. "I have one week to break a bone and say I can't take the exams."

"How dramatic," Taehyun rolls his eyes and kicks Kai's side. "And get lost, I'm trying to study. If you're not going to do anything then leave."

"I am doing something," Kai tickles Taehyun's foot and dodges the next kick. "I'm being demoralising, I'm being a bother. It's a lot of work, you know, takes a lot of energy." 

“Go demoralise someone else please,” Taehyun sniffles and takes his glasses off, rubbing his eyes as he feels exhaustion shivering through his body. Kai raises his head at the sound and watches as Taehyun stretches.

“You know,” Kai stands up and hovers behind Taehyun, slowly bringing his hands to his shoulders, massaging them. “Wanna take a rest? You’ve been at it for a while and you look like you haven’t slept in ages.”

Taehyun knows that Kai only means well, but he can’t help but snap at him and shrug his hands off. “I’m fine. I’ll probably be even better if you leave me alone.”

Kai doesn’t look offended, he doesn’t look hurt either. He knows how important the exams were for Taehyun, he knows how important Taehyun’s health was in comparison, but he also knows how stubborn he was. With a sigh, Kai reaches over for his bag and pats Taehyun’s head. “I’ll leave you to get to it, but make sure to get up after a while. Cramming all your work like this won't help anything, it’ll just make you fall sick.”

The door closes behind Kai and Taehyun's left alone in his room, silence filling the space that had been previously occupied. He can't concentrate and the stuff he's reading isn't going into his head, but the pressure and stress of the exams push him above his limit. He knows that he should probably set his work aside and do something else as a stress reliever, but then the idea of missing out on time to revise over all the content scares him.

Stretching once again, Taehyun cracks his neck and crouches over his desk again, skimming over the questions and answering them. He stays like that till night falls.

.✦ ݁˖

"Oh my god!" Taehyun jumps up in bed and holds his head as the world spins around him. Ignoring the stinging in his head and the roughness of his throat, Taehyun scrambles to find his phone from under his pillow. The time reads past 8. He's late. He's late on the day of his first exam. "Oh my god!"

He curses at himself and runs around the room, throwing on his uniform before hurrying out to the kitchen. He skips breakfast and quickly leaves the house, fear of missing the exam being far more than collapsing in public. 

"Where are you?" Kai asks the second Taehyun calls him.

"On my way to the bus stop," Taehyun answers, running down a flight of stairs. He hears Kai yell at him for sleeping in and then calm down when the others around him tell him to. 

"The exam starts in 15 minutes, the bus takes 15 minutes to get here," Kai sighs and Taehyun feels even worse. "How are you going to get here in time? Can't you just run it?"

"Run it?" Taehyun pants and leans on the wall of the bus the second he gets on. There's a crowd of people and he can barely breathe. The headache is worsening and Taehyun wondered if all this running would cause him to fail his test. "Do you know how far our school is from my house?"

"Very, I know," Kai pauses mid-sentence and Taehyun can hear the worry in his voice. "Taehyun, they're telling us to hand our phones in, I'm gonna have to go now but please, hurry as much as you can."

The call ends and Taehyun presses his head against the cold surface of the bus door. There's a bag sticking right into his back and someone continuously pushing against him from his left. He's stuck in the corner by the door when everything comes crashing down. The doors open and Taehyun feels the strength in his legs give out, hearing a few people gasp as he falls. 

Well, that's great, Taehyun thinks, how embarrassing. Today is just not his day. Everything is falling apart. He’s late to wake up, his clothes are a mess, all the content he had spent hours learning is slipping out of his mind and now he is going to miss his exam. But instead of stressing over his lost exam and drop in rank, Taehyun realises he isn't going to get to be with Soobin. There's no way Soobin would still accept him after he completely failed an entire test. Losing over 100 marks from one test is going to greatly affect his end result.

Accepting his fate, Taehyun braces himself for impact, but then a hand wraps around his arm and he's pulled up. His eyes burst open and he slowly looks up, his mind spinning from all the sudden movement.

"Taehyun?" Soobin looks confused but isn't given enough time to think before the crowd of people in the bus rush out, bumping into them. Soobin holds Taehyun close and out of the way. Being so close to Soobin after so long feels weird, it's also comforting. After a whole 10 minutes of frantic rushing and panic, it felt nice to press his head against Soobin's chest and hear his erratic heartbeat. "What are you doing here? Don't you have a test today?" 

"I do!" Taehyun exclaims and the strength in his legs decreases. "I do and I woke up late, then the bus was too packed, the tests about to start. I'm not going to make it and I'm going to fail!"

Soobin looks from Taehyun to the bus and then down past the road. He grabs Taehyun's hand and smiles at him. "Let's hurry, even if you get late you'll still be allowed to take it, just given less time."

Without allowing Taehyun to speak, Soobin rushes past the crowd hovering at the bus stop and runs straight down the road. It isn't even the direction to their school, but Taehyun doesn't question him—and he can't, not with how serious Soobin looks. 

They turn the corner and rush towards the door to the first house in the street.

“Soobin?” Yeonjun looks confused when he opens the door. “And Taehyun? What are you both doing here?”

“He needs to get to school, right now,” Soobin says, pushing Taehyun towards Yeonjun. “Can you take him?”

"Take me?" Taehyun turns to raise his brow at Soobin when Yeonjun suddenly agrees and drags him to a motorbike. "You have a license?"

"You're really asking the wrong questions at the wrong time," Yeonjun chuckles and then passes a helmet to Taehyun. "I got my license over the summer, now hop on before Soobinnie starts shouting at us."

.✦ ݁˖

"You really don't need to call me every night before a test to tell me to sleep," Taehyun smiles to himself when he hears Soobin sigh over the call.

"Are you sure about that?" Soobin sounds annoyed. "Who almost missed his exam over lack of sleep and exhaustion, hm?"

"Okay, okay. I promise I won't do that again," Taehyun even puts his hand to his chest as he says the words. Soobin hums in agreement and starts talking about something else. It's barely past 10 as they continue talking. They haven't spoken in a while due to Taehyun focusing only on his studies and Soobin being busy over discussing his choice of universities with his teacher. 

Just thinking about Soobin graduating makes Taehyun frustrated. They aren't going to have their after-school classes in that classroom on the third floor anymore, nor were they going to be able to see each other when walking around the school. It will probably be a lot emptier without Soobin around, even if Taehyun is still surrounded by all of his friends. 

"After you graduate," Taehyun says after a few moments of silence pass through. He hears Soobin take a deep breath at the mention of next year. "We'll still talk, right?"

"Well," Soobin laughs a little. "I don't think we'd be able to stop talking if you come first."

Taehyun's reminded of their deal and immediately reddens at the realisation that he had completely forgotten about it. Soobin says a few other things to make him feel even more embarrassed and he quickly ends the call, making up an excuse of having to fall asleep. Just before the call ends he hears Soobin mutter a small 'good luck', and that's enough to help Taehyun go to sleep. 

.✦ ݁˖

“Just for today,” Taehyun pleads, he even purses his lips and blinks his eyes dramatically. He sees Soobin’s will waver before he finally gives in and lets Taehyun put the cat ears onto him.

There’s a week left till Soobin’s last exam and there they are, standing in the middle of a bustling crowd, holding cotton candy in one hand, a drink in the other and a matching pair of cat ears stuck on their heads. It’s all Taehyun’s idea. He had suddenly appeared at Soobin’s doorstep, tickets to the amusement park a few hours away and a large smile on his face. Despite having the stress of upcoming exams holding him down, Soobin agrees to spend the day out but only one. And one day is all Taehyun needed.

"We've gone on almost all the rides at this point," Soobin sighs and collapses onto one of the nearby benches. "We've been here for over five hours, when are we going home?"

Smiling at the fact that Soobin is still shaking his leg with excitement, Taehyun points at the one ride Soobin had been trying his best to avoid—to be honest, Taehyun doesn't want to go on it either, but for the sake of teasing Soobin he can do anything. "After we ride that one we'll go home, how's that?"

Soobin's mouth hangs open and he turns from Taehyun to the rollercoaster and then back. "Taehyun, Taehyun, Taehyun—listen here," Soobin grabs his shoulder and leans down to eye level. He's glaring and looks like he's ready to hit him, but Taehyun can't help but giggle a little. "You know what that ride is, right? We don't have anywhere to put our feet and basically are thrown into the air? What if the screws come loose and we go flying up, huh? What would you do then?"

"Then we'll sue the amusement park," Taehyun answers, practically laughing at this point. "Soobin! It's not going to suddenly break down coincidentally when we choose to go on it."

"I'm not going," Soobin stomps his feet and sinks lower in his seat. "You can try anything but I will not move my feet, at all!"

Taehyun grabs his arms and tries pulling him, but for some strange reason, Soobin is stronger than he looks and tries standing his ground. This goes on for a few more moments before an idea comes to Taehyun's mind, a very silly idea and he knows he probably shouldn't do it, but he gets lost in the spur of the moment and leans forwards, caging Soobin between his arms and quickly kissing him on his lips. 

Soobin's eyes widen in shock and they hear a gasp from a lady passing by on their left. Before Taehyun can say anything, apologise maybe, Soobin stands up and slaps Taehyun's arm away. He starts making his way to the exit and Taehyun follows, already sprouting out a string of apologises, only then realising that what he did wasn't the best thing to do. 

"We were in public!" Soobin exclaims, slapping his hands over his face as he brushes past Taehyun. "You can't do that in public!"

"I'm sorry," Taehyun jogs to keep up with Soobin's speed walking. He reaches out and grabs Soobin's arm before pulling him away from the crowd and into a more quiet area. "I'm sorry, okay? It was just—I just forgot about how we can't do this kind of stuff in public."

Soobin's still avoiding his eyes as Taehyun continues to speak. "What if someone we knew was there and they saw us? What if they told someone else and then slowly everyone else found out? I'm graduating in literally a few weeks, but what about you? You're going to be at the same school for another year!"

"I know!" Taehyun whines and Soobin stops speaking. "I know, alright. I know. It's just—I didn't want to hide it. I didn't want to hide this. We should be allowed to do this in public as well, like others."

Soobin stares at Taehyun for a second before wrapping his arms around him. "Okay, I get it. You just wanted to be all couple-y in public even though it was stupid." Soobin taps his forehead against Taehyun's and softly smiles. "It'll be difficult if someone we knew was to see us like this, I understand what you wanted to do, but we can't," Soobin pauses, looks away before turning back. "Does that bother you? Do you want to stop this here because it seems hard to get through?"

"No!" Taehyun pulls Soobin into a hug, tiptoeing to place his chin on his shoulder and snuggle in close. "I won't give up on you just because I can't kiss you in front of others, or that we can't hold hands."

Soobin chuckles and squeezes Taehyun unbelievably closer. "Well, I'm glad you don't regret this."

.✦ ݁˖

“Two days till your graduation,” Taehyun says, tracing his finger around Soobin’s wrist and then curling it around his pinky. “Two days till you stop walking in the same corridors as me.”

“Oh my god,” Soobin sighs and turns to his side to face Taehyun, his knees knocking against the younger's and they awkwardly position themselves horizontally on Soobin’s bed. “It’s not like it's the end of the world, it’s not as if we’ll never see each other again.”

“Well that isn’t impossible either,” Taehyun mutters, pouting when Soobin rolls his eyes. “You could find yourself another pretty guy at uni, maybe even start tutoring him. Then one day he could end up confessing to you and by then I would’ve been forgotten.”

Soobin stares at him with squinted eyes. “Another pretty guy? Do I seem unfaithful to you?” Before Taehyun can muster up an excuse, or explanation, Soobin leans forwards and silences him with a kiss. “Stop being dramatic. I’m only going to be a 30-minute train ride away. We can meet whenever we want.”

Taehyun itches to complain even further, but then he catches the look on Soobin’s face and feels guilt wash over him. He’s so busy being upset on his own he forgot that Soobin’s having it worse than him. Soobin’s going to be moving to the city, separating with his dad again and entering another phase of his life on his own. Taehyun still has a year till then. 

“Let’s call every once in a while,” Taehyun says, smiling when he feels Soobin shuffle around in confusion. 

“Only once in a while?” Soobin looks at him with a raised brow and Taehyun reaches over to pinch it. 

He nods and then pokes Soobin’s cheek. “They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

“But then the rest of me will feel lonely.” They stare at each other before bursting into laughter.

“It’s been about almost a year since we met,” Taehyun states once they’ve calmed down and finally started making their way downstairs. With the absence of Soobin’s dad, they found it easier to act casually in his house. At Taehyun’s, he had to constantly worry about his parents coming home early.

“Mhm,” Soobin pushes Taehyun away from himself with a small giggle. “And almost a year since you called my hands interesting.”

“Please forget that!”

.✦ ݁˖

“So?” Soobin asks over the phone, the excitement in his voice almost on par with how Taehyun felt when he ran out of his house in the morning to get to school and see the results. “What did you get?”

Taehyun takes a deep breath and holds his hand over his chest, his cheeks heating up at how giddy he felt. “Just as you expected,” Taehyun smiles and glances over his shoulder to the large crowd near the results board, the sight of his name at the top making his smile even bigger. “I came first.”

He hears Soobin sighing out of relief before he suddenly yells into the mic. “Congrats! I’m so proud of you, you worked really hard to get it. Now just remember to work this hard for next year.”

“Next year?” Taehyun pauses and looks up to see Soobin standing by the gates.

“I couldn’t wait,” Soobin chuckles nervously, ending the call and closing the distance between them. “I felt anxious at home waiting for you.”

Taehyun takes his hand and drags him into a more secluded area before pulling him into a tight embrace and sighing. “I’m happy to see you here, Soobin hyung. But what did you mean by next year?”

Soobin hums and pretends to think about it. “Didn’t you say that getting tutored by me distracts you, then shouldn’t we think of a reward for next year so that you concentrate better?”

Taehyun gapes at Soobin before laughing. “Oh my god, you’ll tutor me next year as well?” Taehyun hugs Soobin tighter than before. “Well let me say thank you in advance, please take care of me next year as well.”

“I will,” Soobin replies with this fondness in his voice that makes the hairs on Taehyun’s skin rise. “But only on one condition."

“What?”

“You must call me baby,” Soobin looks so serious as he says it that Taehyun has to look away to laugh. “Stop laughing!”

“What made you want me to say that?” Taehyun asks between giggles.

Soobin tries hiding his face as he answers, “I just thought…if we're dating now, wouldn't we call each other something cute?”

“And you want me to call you that?”

Soobin nods timidly, and who is Taehyun to refuse him?

“Alright then,” Taehyun giggles, sliding his arms around Soobin's neck and dragging him down. Their height difference isn't that much, but it's enough for him to feel it. As their lips brush against one another, Taehyun whispers, “You can be my baby.”

Taehyun keeps his eyes shut as he kisses Soobin, a little ball of excitement bouncing off the sides of his stomach as he realises it's his first time kissing him since—well, since they've become boyfriends. He pulls away, feeling giddy and finally gets a look at the older boy.

Soobin's looking at him with comically wide eyes and flaming cheeks. He opens his mouth to say something and looks like a fish for a few moments. Then he slowly takes a deep breath and gently smiles at Taehyun.

“I think we should put off the endearments for now, yeah?”