Work Text:
The dining pavilion(idk if that is the right word)at Camp Half-Blood was crowded. The Greek and Roman demigods were mingling awkwardly around the tables, the air thick with the tension of the ongoing quest. The absence of Percy, Annabeth, Hazel,Frank,Piper,Leo,and Jason aka the people dubbed "The peacemakers",was making socialising between the two camps very hard.
Mr. D sat on his throne, looking thoroughly bored, while Chiron paced near the entrance, his tail twitching nervously.
Suddenly, the air shimmered like a tons of glitter had been thrown in the air. The voice of Hera, Queen of the Gods, silenced the chatter instantly.
"Campers,"she announced, her voice echoing. "You misunderstand your comrades. You see Jason Grace as a cold, unfeeling robot who believes himself superior. You see Leo Valdez as an annoying, obnoxious waste of space. You are wrong. Look. Learn."
Before anyone could react, a scene looking suspiciously like an iris message,opened up.
The Scene:
Jason Grace was standing in what looked like a cabin, holding a massive, grumpy-looking,blue Toroishell(yes, that is the colour of the cat.), cat with its ears permanently pinned back. He was holding the cat out toward Leo Valdez as if it were a piece of toxic waste.
"One," Jason said, his tone deadpan but his eyes fond as he stared at Leo. "She bites me."
Leo took the cat, snuggling it to his chest,the cat It was looking at Leo like he was an angel. "She’s affectionate!"
"Two," Jason continued, reading from a list That he had pulled out of his pocket. "She attacks the food when I open it. Three, she attacks you when she can't attack me."
Leo rolled his eyes. "She's playing, Jay."
"Four," Jason ignored him, "She's loud, but only when I'm around. When I’m not in the room, she’s silent as a mouse. Five, she’s huge. She’s thirteen pounds, Leo. No one feeds her extra. She just exists like that. Six, look at her ears. She is permanently in demon mode."
The Romans (especially Reyna And Octavian) looked bewildered. Jason Grace? Complaining about a cat?
"Seven," Jason went on, "She kicks us out of spots. You slept on the floor yesterday because she took over your bed."
"It was a soft floor!" Leo protested.
"Eight," Jason said, stepping closer. "She hates being held. She bites or screams. Nine, she has weird eyes. They look like they know all my sins. And ten, we don't even know her breed because we found her in a pet shelter that blew up in Greece. The card just said 'Girl' and a birthday. That’s it."
The campers stared. Jason Grace, the "robot" had rescued a demolition-survivor cat from Greece?
"I think she just hates you," Leo replied, scratching the cat’s chin. "She loves me. Also, you bite me, Jason, on a regular basis, so you can't use that as a reason."
shock went through the pavilion like a wave.(this sounds so weird!!! But I don't know how to fix it.)
"And before you say 'it's because you were raised by wolves'," Leo continued, his voice speeding up, "I know, it's how you greet me, and it's cute, but I have bite marks all over my arms."
Leo shifted the cat, He had named shrimp Shrimp in his arms to show Jason his forearm. As he moved, Shrimp clawed at Leo’s shirt collar, Trying to balance herself, yanking it down.
The entire pavilion gasped.
Leo’s neck was a mess, not that it was dirty but, there were big 'bruises' and a lot bite marks on his neck going down to his collarbone.
"You literally chew on me,like a chew toy." Leo said casually, oblivious to the audience staring at his neck.
Next scene (sorry I'm terrible at writing transitions!):
The background changed slightly. Now Leo was pacing, his hands moving wildly. His accent—usually a flat American blend with occasional Spanish words—thickened drastically. became a twangy mix of deep Texan and Spanish, so strong that even the children of Athena had to pause to decode it.
"It was so cute," Leo said "I took Shrimp on one of those... El horse tornado or whatever, you know what I mean."
Jason, standing nearby, blinked. "I'm sorry, what? El horse tornado? I’m going to need you to elaborate."
"You know what I’m talking about!" Leo snapped playfully, pointing a finger. "You put that attitude down. You put it down."
Jason raised his hands in mock surrender, a small smile playing on his lips. "Okay, sorry. Putting it down."
"Don't try me, I’ll kick your ass," Leo threatened, though he was clearly trying to figure out if he should laugh or argue with his boyfriend.
"You don't need to kick my ass," Jason said, mock-shivering. "Just put in a horse tornado. I’ll be terrified."
"You think you’re funny?" Leo planted his hands on his hips.
"Babe," Jason said softly, the word sending another wave of whispers through the Greeks and Romans. "How would you react if somebody said that in Spanish? Tornado de caballos! That sounds horrifying."
Leo paused, Then started giggling. "Okay, that’s pretty funny."
"Do you mean a merry-go-round?" Jason asked dryly.
"Yes! That’s the word!" Leo beamed.
Jason stepped closer, looming over Leo. The height difference was obvious now—Jason was a full foot taller than Leo’s five-foot frame. Jason leaned down, whispering, "¿Puedo morderte?"
Leo’s face turned a bright, furious red. He looked away, stammering, "Okej, men om någon kommer in och ser oss, då är det ditt problem att lösa."
Jason leaned down, presumably to bite Leo, and the screen faded to black.
Back to Reality(this transition suck):
The pavilion was silent. The Romans looked like their brains had short-circuited. The Greeks were staring at the space where the video (I really don't know what to call it) had been.
Jason Grace—the disciplined, stoic Praetor—was dating Leo Valdez—the "annoying" mechanic. And they were... incredibly soft? And weird?
Before anyone could process the "Horse Tornado" or the " Neck" situation, the air shimmered again, and this time, the two boys themselves tumbled, landing in a heap on the floor of the pavilion.
"Ow!" Leo yelped. "Jase, get your knee out of my ribs!"
"Shrimp is scratching me!" Jason yelled back.
A large, 13-pound cat with pinned-back ears leaped out of Leo’s jacket and bolted under a table, hissing at Jason.
Leo scrambled up, dusting off his jeans. He looked around the pavilion, freezing as he saw hundreds of eyes staring at him. He instinctively grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling it up high, but it was too late. They had already seen the projection(I seriously don't know what to call this thing).
"Uh," Leo squeaked. "Hey, guys. We’re back. Ignore the cat. Her name is Shrimp. She’s... she's nice. I swear."
"She Just growled at the highest leader of new Rome" Clarisse remarked, looking unimpressed but amused.
Before Leo could formulate a lie, a figure dropped from the tree line, landing gracefully next to them. Thalia Grace, Lieutenant of Artemis, crossed her arms. She had clearly been watching the projection(please help. I don't know what to call this thing).
She looked between her brother and the small Latino boy next to him. A slow smirk spread across her face.
"You know," Thalia drawled, looking at Jason. "I didn't know,that my little brother bites his boyfriend."
Leo turned a shade of red, he could be mistaken for a stop sign. Jason looked like he wanted to sink into the earth.
"We can explain," Jason started, his voice cracking.
"Mr. Grace," Chiron trotted forward, looking more uncomfortable than anyone had ever seen him. He adjusted his glasses, his gaze darting to the marks on Leo’s neck that were visible despite Leo's tugging at his collar. "You have some explaining to do. Regarding your... dietary... and... lustful... habits on Mr. Valdez's neck."
The entire pavilion erupted into laughter.
Mr. D even looked up from his Diet Coke. "Finally, some entertainment. The son of Jupiter has a bite. Good for him."
"It's not what it looks like!" Jason shouted, his face burning. "Well, it is, but—it's private!"
"Also, the cat!" Leo blurted out, trying to deflect. "Shrimp! She's our daughter! We found her in Greece!"
"You share a daughter?" Reyna raised an eyebrow, looking fascinated.
"She hates Jason," Leo added helplessly. "Look at reason number four!"
"She bit me five minutes ago!" Jason argued.
"She loves me!" Leo insisted.
"So does Jason, apparently," Travis Stoll cackled from the Hermes table. "He asked permission in Spanish!"
"And I gave permission in Swedish!" Leo muttered, defeated.
Jason sighed, putting a protective arm around Leo’s shoulders. "Okay, so... we're dating. And Shrimp is our cat. And yes, I may... nibble on Leo, Occasionally."
"Nibble?" Will Solace called out, grinning. "Leo, you looked like you lost a fight with a vampire!"
"It’s just how we greet each other!" Leo yelled, his accent slipping back into a bit of a Texan accent "Don't y'all judge me!"
Chiron cleared his throat. "Welcome back, heroes, Perhaps... we should move this discussion to the Big House. And Mr. Valdez, please visit the infirmary for those... injuries. And Mr. Grace, do try to refrain from... eating your boyfriend in public."
Jason buried his face in his hands. Leo trying to act like he didn't have bite marks from his boyfriend On his neck, said"Can I just go find Shrimp?"
As Leo ran off toward the table the cat had hidden under, Jason watched him go, a soft, un-robot-like smile breaking through his embarrassment.
"He's annoying," Jason admitted to the room at large, "but he's mine."
The room "Aww'd" sarcastically, and for the first time in months, the two camps felt united in their collective blackmail material.