Chapter Text
Kent spends most of his childhood without a soulmark. His doctors always check during his pediatric physicals, like they do for all children and--nothing. Soulmarks are fairly rare anyway, so everyone shrugs and figure he’s just someone who doesn’t have a pre-destined match.
Once Kent is old enough to understand what that means, he’s pretty happy about it. He likes the idea that he’ll get to find someone himself, that he doesn’t have to worry about the consent politics and other unpleasant sides of the soulmark movement.
When he meets Jack, and finds out that he doesn’t have a soulmark either, Kent is, well...he’s a dumb teenager is what he is, and Jack’s his best friend, and it’s enough for him to maybe hope.
The night Jack ODs is one of the most terrifying nights of Kent’s life. The time Jack spends recovering, are some of Kent’s loneliest days.
When Jack makes it clear he’s done with Kent, Kent fights down tears and eventually makes it back to his empty apartment, throws off his clothes and buries himself underneath his covers.
It’s only the next morning, blearily looking into the mirror, that he sees the words now emblazoned over his heart.
---
Kent spends a couple minutes just gaping. He--he never thought he’d be marked. Had spent his whole life figuring first that he’d find someone himself and then…
Well, and then, figuring that he was going to just stay alone.
Now there’s, what, a chance? A hope? He’s spent enough time around Russian hockey players that he can tell what language his mark is written in, but while he’s not bad at speaking and understanding at this point, he can’t really read it. He manages, with a lot of twisting and the judicious use of a mirror, to copy it down, and then he’s taking a picture of it and texting Smithy, asking him what it means.
He’s pacing back and forth around his apartment, unable to keep still, when his phone buzzes.
He has to sit down when he reads the meaning. Because of course.
Of course even his supposed soulmate --
Kent puts his head in his hands and fights back tears for the second time in two days.
---
Alexei is not born with a soulmark, but he gets one a few days after his tenth birthday, curling around his ankle. His parents, both unmarked, smile at him and tell him how lucky he is, to know for certain that there is someone out there just for him.
Alexei is a bit disappointed, at ten. He doesn’t like the idea of kissing anyone at all, and some words on his ankle doesn’t change his mindset.
As for the meaning… once he cared enough to know, he turned to the internet and got an approximation of what his mark meant. The first words he would hear his soulmate say.
He is shocked, and hurt, and he doesn’t understand. At first he thinks he had translated it wrong, but no, even when he goes to school and asks the English teacher for the meaning… he is sure that the only reason she didn’t punish him for the profanity was because of how he had crumpled after hearing for certain the truth.
It makes him care more, the meaning of his words. Makes him wonder what he must have done, to have such an angry reply. He does his best to be kind and gentle, especially as he grows, hoping that at least the first words might trickle into better ones.
As he gets older, when he does want to kiss certain people, he does so. He explores, is encouraged to by his parents who say it is healthy to do so, but eventually everything feels like… like cheating.
He is big, and tall, strong and handsome and kind, and there are many who express interest in him. But he stops being interested in them. He has a soulmark. There already is somewhere out there, just for him. And he promises in his heart to love them with all of it, no matter who they turn out to be.
---
When Tater turns twenty-one, he is newly arrived in the USA, and stumbling through introductions with his new team. They’re a nice enough group, and they welcome him without making fun of his English, and he immediately is drawn to the backup goalie, a kid who goes by Snowy.
It’s not that Snowy isn’t interesting (he is) or good at hockey (he is ), but he’s also the first American Alexei meets who uses profanity so often . Just as part of his speech pattern.
It gives him hope. That maybe the person he is destined for is like Snowy, and just...uses such words to embellish his speech. “Don’t touch me!” sounds much less angry, much less hurt. Maybe Alexei’s soulmate is shy, or getting over a cold, or simply nervous about meeting him. Alexei is an intimidating man, after all, though he tries not to be.
He still worries about meeting them, but the worry is lessoned some. And he has other things to concentrate on, like hockey, and his new team, and his English. Even if the words are always in the back of his mind.
---
Kent ignores his mark and focuses on hockey.
He goes home to his empty apartment.
He fields reporters asking about his upcoming games, wondering why he doesn’t date, covering his partying life.
And goes home.
He gets better and better and better--
Turn on the light, fling his bag down, stumble to bed--
He sees Jack, ready to play against Jack and--
And--
“Ох блядский мудак! You liking hit like that so much?? Huh? I can hit, too!”
He freezes, looking up, completely blown at this Alexei “Tater” Mashkov, who is also currently holding Kent up with one arm and shaking him like a ragdoll--
Kent lets him, because he can’t not , can only hold himself as still as possible while his brain rattles in his ears over hearing his words --
Coming from a man who clearly hates him.
Kent clenches his jaw. He gets released. Hears the angry comment as Alexei skates away. He clenches his jaw harder and waits. They get two more seconds and he plays . It’s all he can do, all he’s good at, all he’s good for , and at least it’s something, because they win, and the team cheers for him and claps him on the back. Kent smiles and goes to press. He always goes to press first, if he can help it, because it means the locker rooms are emptier when he gets to them.
He used to like being shirtless, to show off his body. Now he wears a patch over his heart and flinches every time he has to change the tape.
Swoops is just pulling his shirt over his head when Kent stumbles into the lockers. He smiles at Kent, who nods tiredly as he heads for the showers.
“Hey Parson!” Swoops calls over the spray. “We’re going out tonight! Want me to wait for you?”
“No thanks. I would, but I’ve still got a headache from the shake-up.”
“Alright, alright. Feel better man.”
“Thanks.”
He soaps up quickly, rinses off just as fast. Sighs in the quiet of the empty locker room and gets dressed. Heads down the hall, already dreaming about his hotel room and--and not thinking about anything else. Obviously not thinking about anyone else.
Kent swallows and walks faster, and nearly runs smack dab into Alexei Mashkov’s chest. He stumbles back, and hears, “You alright?” and a hand reaching out to steady him, and for one frantic moment Kent thinks maybe he doesn’t hate me before the concerned tone turns into a hiss. “You! Little rat! Why still here!” It’s a demand, and Kent can’t answer, can’t open his mouth because if he’s got Alexei’s words, Alexei has his and Kent can’t let him know. Can’t face that rejection. He already knows he’ll be alone, he doesn’t need his own soulmate to clinch it.
He turns away, trying to head back the way he came; it’s a big arena there has to be another exit somewhere, but Alexei follows him, oh god. “Running away? Little coward man! Coward move, rushing goalie! Why not speak, huh?”
Oh god, oh god, oh god, Kent needs to get away each angry word hurts , the words over his heart searing over a rejected bond. He knows if a bond is fully rejected, the words will fade away, leaving an X of a scar where they used to be, and he’s heard stories about how painful getting that X carved into your skin feels and he needs to leave.
But Alexei is bigger than him, and his legs are longer, and Kent is starting to get blinded by the pain. He stumbles, falling against a wall, knees collapsing underneath him and Alexei is right there .
“...Parson?” he asks, and he actually sounds wary now, big hands reaching forward, and Kent can’t stand it, he hurts ; every breath is a knife in his chest, and he won’t be able to handle contact, he can’t do it
“Don’t fucking touch me!” And maybe he is a coward, just like Alexei said, because he curls into himself and hides his head in his hands and just hopes that he’ll finally be left alone.
But even as the pain starts to fade, he doesn’t hear footsteps, and when he cautiously looks up, it’s to Alexei staring down at him in horror. Because he knows now. He has Kent’s words and he knows .
Kent squeezes his eyes shut and waits for the X to start burning into his skin.