Chapter Text
The rink was too bright.
That was the first thing Yuuri noticed when he stepped onto the ice—too bright, too loud, too sharp. The scrape of blades echoed in his skull like it was amplified, like every sound had teeth.
He swallowed hard, adjusting his glove tighter over his wrist.
He was fine.
He had to be.
“Yuuri,” Victor called softly from the barrier, voice threaded with something dangerously close to worry. “You don’t look well today.”
“I’m fine,” Yuuri shot back too quickly, pushing off before Victor could say anything else.
He wasn’t fine.
His throat burned, his head felt heavy, and every breath sat wrong in his chest. But nationals were coming up. Rankings mattered. Timing mattered.
Resting didn’t.
Across the rink, Kaiser leaned against the boards, arms crossed, watching with narrowed eyes. Sae stood beside him, silent but observant, while Rin—never subtle—just frowned openly.
“He looks terrible,” Rin muttered.
Kaiser scoffed. “He is terrible today.”
“Not what I meant,” Rin snapped.
Yuuri pushed harder into his steps, forcing speed, forcing precision. His blades cut into the ice with a sharp hiss as he built momentum into his opening sequence.
Triple flip.
He launched—
—and the world tilted.
The landing was off. His blade skidded, balance snapping out from under him as he stumbled hard, barely catching himself before hitting the ice.
A sharp silence fell over the rink.
Victor’s hand tightened on the barrier. “Yuuri—”
“I’m fine!” Yuuri barked, already pushing back upright, chest heaving.
His vision blurred for a second.
Just a second.
He ignored it.
“Again,” Yuuri muttered to himself. “Just do it again.”
“Oi,” Kaiser’s voice cut across the rink. “You call that a landing?”
Yuuri didn’t answer.
Didn’t look at him.
He just reset his position and tried again.
This time, the jump felt worse before he even left the ice. His timing was off, his body lagging behind his mind. He rotated too slowly—
—and went down.
Hard.
The sound of his body hitting the ice echoed louder than it should have.
Victor was already moving.
“Yuuri!”
“I said I’m fine!” Yuuri snapped again, but his voice cracked this time, thin and strained.
He didn’t get up right away.
For a moment, he just stayed there, palms pressed to the ice, breathing uneven.
“…You’re shaking,” Sae said quietly.
Yuuri forced himself upright, legs unsteady. “Mind your own business.”
Rin stepped forward, clearly irritated now. “You can barely stand.”
“And you can barely mind your own—”
His words cut off as he swayed.
Victor was at his side instantly, hand hovering but not quite touching. “That’s enough.”
“No,” Yuuri said, sharper this time, pulling away. “I need to practice.”
“You need to rest.”
“I can’t.”
The words came out harsher than he meant them to. Desperate.
The rink went quiet again.
Victor’s expression softened, but the worry didn’t leave. “Yuuri…”
“I’ll be fine if I just land it,” Yuuri insisted, more to himself than anyone else. “I just need one clean run.”
Kaiser let out an annoyed breath. “This is getting pathetic.”
Rin shot him a look. “Shut up.”
“No, seriously,” Kaiser continued, pushing off the barrier and stepping onto the ice. “You’re making it worse.”
Yuuri’s jaw tightened. “Stay out of it.”
Kaiser stopped a few feet away, eyes sharp. “You’re not even rotating properly anymore. Your edge control is off. Your timing is trash.”
Each word hit harder than the last.
“You think forcing it is going to fix that?” Kaiser tilted his head. “You’ll just embarrass yourself at this rate.”
“Enough,” Victor warned.
But Yuuri—
Yuuri pushed forward again.
“I said I’m fine.”
He didn’t wait for anyone to stop him this time.
He skated.
Faster.
Harder.
Ignoring the way his lungs burned, the way his vision dimmed at the edges, the way his body felt heavier with every second.
He set up for the jump.
Triple.
He launched—
—and everything went wrong.
The rotation was too slow.
The landing didn’t come.
The ice rushed up—
—and then—
Nothing.
When Yuuri opened his eyes, the lights were still too bright.
But now they were above him.
“Yuuri,” Victor’s voice, close. Too close. “Stay with me.”
Yuuri blinked slowly, disoriented. His head throbbed.
“…Victor?”
“I’m here,” Victor said immediately, relief flickering across his face. “Don’t try to move yet.”
Yuuri frowned slightly. “I have to—practice—”
“No.”
The firmness in Victor’s voice made him pause.
“You’re done for today.”
Yuuri tried to sit up anyway.
His body disagreed.
A wave of dizziness hit so hard he winced, hand gripping weakly at Victor’s sleeve.
“…Okay,” Yuuri admitted quietly.
Victor exhaled, tension easing just a fraction.
“Finally,” Kaiser muttered from somewhere nearby.
Rin crouched down on Yuuri’s other side, frown still etched deep. “You scared everyone, idiot.”
“I didn’t—” Yuuri started, then stopped.
Because… maybe he had.
Sae crossed his arms, gaze steady. “You pushed past your limit.”
Yuuri looked away.
“I just… needed to get it right.”
Victor’s expression softened again, but this time there was something firmer beneath it. “Not at the cost of yourself.”
Silence settled for a moment.
Then Kaiser sighed dramatically. “Can we get him off the ice now? He’s going to freeze to death at this rate.”
Rin rolled his eyes but stood up. “Yeah, come on.”
Between Victor and Rin, they carefully helped Yuuri sit up properly.
His legs still felt weak.
“…I messed up practice,” Yuuri murmured, staring down at the ice.
Victor shook his head gently. “You’re sick.”
“That’s not an excuse.”
“It is,” Sae said bluntly.
Yuuri glanced at him, surprised.
“You can’t perform properly like this,” Sae continued. “Training while you’re compromised just builds bad habits.”
Kaiser smirked slightly. “For once, I agree with him.”
“…Wow,” Rin muttered. “Mark the calendar.”
Yuuri huffed a weak breath that might’ve been a laugh.
Victor squeezed his shoulder lightly. “You’ll recover faster if you rest. And when you come back, you’ll be stronger.”
Yuuri hesitated.
Then, finally—
“…Okay.”
Victor smiled, soft and proud. “Good.”
As they helped him off the rink, Yuuri glanced back once at the ice.
Still waiting.
Still there.
He’d return.
Just… not today.