Chapter Text
This was it. The final vote. Me and Paper… tied. Pickle was the last voter… which, if you ask me, isn’t the brightest idea. I know he wouldn’t vote for Taco and, even if he did, all three of us would be tied. I look over at Paper, a worried expression on his face. I would rather compete against him and have one of US win instead of… competing against Taco. I don’t even know how she made it this far!
I look over at Pickle as he starts talking, “Well… OJ, you were overall too competitive and made a lot of reckless decisions. Plus, you’re a HUGE complainer even though you barely actually won any challenges.”
I put my hands up against the side of my glass. This can’t be good for me. If this is what Pickle truly thinks, what could he think about Paper? I mean, sure, there was the whole “Evil Paper” ordeal. Despite never figuring that out, I don’t think Paper’s done anything to Pickle! Minus winning over him in the previous elimination.
Pickle continued, “Paper was a bit of a follower too. I’m not really sure who deserves it more.”
“Oh no!” Paper cries, looking more worried than ever.
“I choose…” Pickle stops. I raise my eyebrows. Come on, come on! I can’t lose Paper but… I don’t want to get eliminated either! I’ve come so far! “...Paper.”
“Wha- what?!” Papers eyes widen. I look over at him, almost a weird feeling washing over me.
I look back over at Pickle, raising my eyebrow.
“Even though OJ was too competitive, he did apologize and stayed in the entire game.” Pickle walks over to Paper, “You skipped like half the game and relied on OJ too much.”
“Taco relied on you too!” Shouts Paper. “And all you did was mess her up!!” He swings his arms around.
“Paper.” MePhone4 interrupts. “The tribe has spoken…”
“WAIT!!! I CAN’T GO BACK TO-” The ‘Fist Thingy’ punches Paper and all the other eliminated contestants back to Idiotic Island.
“NO!!” I flail my arms around, “I CAN’T BELIEVE PAPER DIDN’T MAKE IT THIS FAR.” Sighing, I turn to Taco. “And you.” I point to Taco, clenching my other fist, “Paper deserved this more than you, and I’m gonna win for him!”
Taco looks at me and smacks her lips. “Salmonella.” She says, glaring at me.
I sigh, turning to look at MePhone4 as he finishes off the episode. I can’t believe it… I really thought Paper would make it. I know him and other contestants have had their differences but…
Sighing once more, I look around the island. I couldn’t see much, but in the distance I noticed areas from past challenges like the slingshots and the giant bowl of guacamole. I chuckle to myself… I hope I never have to do that again. I turned out DISGUSTING. I mean, being filled with guacamole? I shiver.
As it gets darker, I wonder more and more about tomorrow. What’s the final challenge going to be? Does the loser get anything? Will Paper be there to see me win? I smile just thinking about him… I mean uh- not to ‘toot my own horn’ or anything but… seriously? Anyone could win over Taco. She lacks basic intelligence, no wonder her and Pickle got along so well.
. . .
Today’s the day… Today is the day I win Inanimate Insanity once and for all! Putting on my wonderful, and not-so-awkward, winning smile I head over to the bleachers where I quickly spot Taco and MePhone4. I put my hands on my hips and look down at Taco who, despite having a big smile of her own, was staring off into the distance.
MePhone4 hangs up his call and looks at me and Taco, “Alright, you idiots. After over a year of competition, watching their friends and enemies leave one by one, only Orange Juice and Taco are still in the game!”
“Awesome!” I exclaim, pumping my fist in the air. Taco, simultaneously, jumps and squeals.
“But the million dollar prize can’t go to both of you, so in order to decide this you will compete in one final challenge. The winner of this challenge gets the million! And the loser gets squat!”
A look of worry appears on my face, “Oh man… that’s rough…” I slump over a bit.
“Not even a million squats!” Taco cries.
I look over at the bleachers to see all the previously eliminated contestants walking over to them. They were labelled by who you wanted to win. On the left was my set of bleachers, and the right was Taco’s.
“Taco!” Pickle exclaims, he then looks over at the other set of bleachers, “Oh…”
“Wow! Almost everyone here has got my back! Maybe even Balloon!” I look away, sarcastically.
Balloon rolls his eyes, “No, not really.”
“Screw you.”
I take one last glance at my set of bleachers, noticing something. Paper was… missing? Surely he wouldn’t miss this! Unless… Evil Paper decided to come back… I rub the side of my glass. No, surely not! We, or Paper at least, got him dormant for a little bit. I shrug it off, it’s fine. Maybe he was going to come over on his own.
MePhone continues, “Now the final challenge is what I like to call the master challenge!”
“Huh? What’s that?” Marshmallow interrupts.
“It’s every contest combined!” MePhone waves his arms around in excitement, “Just in case you’re braindead and you’ve forgotten, the challenges IN ORDER are: the crappy cliff, lemon collecting, arena of death, slingshot contest, stacking three golf balls…”
MePhone continues on. I partially listen, remembering the challenges for the most part. I’m just worried about Paper. I don’t know where he is… he would want to watch the final competition, wouldn’t he? Sighing, I turn my attention back to MePhone4.
“OJ, for winning the last challenge and for having the most fans here, you get a prize!” MePhone4 pulls out a cork and tosses it to me.
Smiling, I catch the cork, not completely processing what I got. I look down at it, raise my eyebrow and frown. “How is a cork gonna help me?”
“You’ll see!” MePhone snaps, “Okay, let’s not waste any time. You guys ready?”
I look down at Taco, holding the cork between my arm and lower glass. “Good luck, Taco.”
Taco pauses for a second, and then LAUGHS AT ME. Come on, man! I look at her angrily.
“START!”