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It was the end. The fucking end. So, so many years of torment, and pain. They could end it, tonight. The thought almost scared Mike.
He knew it was selfish, not wanting the literal bain of their existences to end. He knew once it was over, their last year of high school was nearby. He knew that most of the party wanted to go to college. He knew they would drift apart. Mike feared the party would leave him all behind. Will would leave him behind.
It was selfish, he knew it was selfish, but the thought of Will Byers, his best friend, the boy who has never given up on their friendship, his favorite person, the love of his life - even though he would always love him in secret - would leave him behind, was worse than having to suffer an interdimensional monster.
His thoughts were absolutely slapped out of him when Will came out.
Will was gay. The horrible things that the horrible people said about Will from when he was as little as he was since Mike knew him, were true.
And Mike had no idea how to process that. He didn’t even realize people were getting up to hug him, he just stood up when Lucas did. He hoped Will didn’t notice, or think Mike judged him. He really wasn’t judging, he was actually the opposite of judging.
Will came out. Will, who has been the most timid and shy of the group, had done the bravest thing Mike could think of. Everyone had been so supportive, let Will speak and didn’t rush him, even when the end of the world was imminent. They were a family.
Mike was scared he would never get that.
Mike realized he was gay at about fourteen years old. He had constant reminders from a young age about how much of a disgusting fag he was. How wrong he was. They didn’t even know it was true. It was worse for Will. Sure, they called Mike frogface, but Will, oh, Will had so many names from the cruel school-kids. Zombieboy, fairy, fag, and so many others. Mike wanted nothing more than to fry the ever-loving hell out of the bullies. He wondered more than once why Vecna had targeted Will and not the kids who deserved the hell Will had been through. Maybe no one deserved what Will went through, he thought after wishing actual hell against the bullies.
Once Lucas got up to hug Will, Mike followed suit and joined in the group hug. For coming out, Mike thought, Will deserved so much more than a hug. Mike wanted to hug Will forever.
After Will came out, they had to continue the plan. Mike felt almost frozen, for a lack of a better word. His life felt like snapshots, only a couple at the time. He felt like a spectator of the events happening. They made a plan, they got ready, they were starting up the long latter, that led up to the gate.
Mike was still processing that Will had come out. Mike was so glad Will felt like he could tell them all this - albeit, Mike was annoyed at himself for thinking Will meant literally everyone, when Will most likely meant just the party - but Mike was also a little enraged. Will hadn’t gotten to come out on his own terms. He was forced by Vecna, who has been tormenting Will about this for so long, and didn’t come out because he wanted to. Mike wondered how long Will would’ve stayed in the closet if he hadn’t been so scared to lose the people he loved.
Mike also felt a little jealous, jealous that Will was out - to his friends at least, and Mike might never be. Everyone loved Will, because he was absolutely the greatest person ever, if you asked Mike, but Mike knew he wasn’t loved like that. Maybe his mother loved him, like most mothers were obligated to do, and maybe his sister, but no one loved him as much as they loved Will. Mike understood completely. He loved Will much more than he loved himself. He would never admit that out loud.
***
Mike was about ¾ of the way up the stairs on the tower when he had to stop for water. At that moment, he was very glad his sister forced him to bring a water bottle. He heard hard breathing and realized it was Will who was right behind him.
He had no idea how he was going to talk to Will. He now knew they had even more in common than before, if that was even possible.
“D’you need some water?” Mike asked as he stuck his hand out to Will holding his water bottle.
“Sure.” Will replied casually, almost too casually considering how much he was wheezing a second ago.
He took a big gulp, as Mike watched, almost transfixed on Will’s Adam’s apple. He looked away fast as Will closed the lid and swallowed.
“Hey, uh, what you did back there was really brave.” Mike said in a much quieter voice than usual.
“Oh, yeah. I mean, I didn’t really anticipate doing that now, but I’m glad I got it over with.”
Mike didn’t have anything else planned to say, until he remembered something Will said that confused him.
“Who’s Tammy?”
Will didn't respond immediately, looking embarrassed and almost like he was being caught.
“She’s, well, she's not an actual person. That I like, I mean. She was a girl someone else liked, but kind of played the same role as the person I liked. If that makes any sense.”
Mike paused. It did make sense, but Will had said ‘liked’, as in past tense. Mike didn’t ever fully think Will liked him, although he did almost start believing it when El told him she never had anything to do with the painting and broke up with him.
Mike let himself hope Mike was Will’s crush, for a little while, but never really thought Will would be done with him. The thought immediately made Mike upset.
“Yeah. It does make sense.”
Mike didn’t know what to say next. I’m in love with you and now I know you don’t even like me anymore, or Hey dude not to make anything weird and all but I literally love you more than life itself and would literally jump off this tower if you so asked me too. Not many options that would result in Mike not wanting to sink into the floor.
“Um, if you don’t mind me asking, who was your Tammy?”
Will didn’t answer.
“Do I know him?”
To that Will nodded, reluctantly.
“Is he in the party? Does everyone know him? Are we, like, good friends? Or just acquaintances, or did I steal a crayon from him in second grade?”
“Mike, why do you care? I don’t like him anymore, so why does it matter?” Will furrowed his eyebrows.
Mike recoiled, not expecting Will to be mad about asking questions about who Will liked.
“Just, curious. You never told me you liked someone.”
“Well, how could I tell you?”
Mike looked hurt.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You know what I mean. I could never tell anyone, especially you because to quote you literally, ‘it's not your fault I don’t like girls.’ “
Mike felt like Will slapped him. He never forgot how awful Mike was to Will when they were fourteen and Mike had been fighting his feelings tooth and nail. Mike didn’t know what to do with his newly discovered feelings for his best friend who had never been anything but kind and loving to Mike, and he had been horrible to Will. Will moved at the end of that summer and over the next year, Mike had felt nothing but remorse and pain. That was when he realized he loved Will.
“Will, I am so, so, so sorry for what I said that summer. You don’t ever have to forgive me for it but I regret what I said everyday and wish I could take it back.”
“No, I’m sorry I shouldn't've brought it up. That was ancient history, and we were both going through some things that summer.”
“Will, do not apologize. I was being so fucking terrible and I was projecting and didn’t know what I was thinking and I hurt you and I will never forgive myself for it-“
Will interrupted Mike’s ramble by grabbing his shoulders - Mike noting how strong Will was, even though it looked like it took no effort.
“Hey. I said, don’t worry about it.” Will exhaled as he let go of Mike’s shoulders.
Mike missed the touch as he let go. He was still transfixed on how strong Will had gotten in recent years, when Will began turning away.
“Wait! I- uh.” Mike felt like he was on autopilot, having no control over what was spilling out.
“I have to tell you something.” Mike said finally.
“Can it wait till after we kick hell’s ass?”
“Hell can wait.” Mike looked into Will’s eyes to make sure he knew he meant it.
“Okay, fine. What is it?”
Mike waited a beat before pulling Will in and kissing him.
Will quickly pushed him away. Mike’s heart broke into a million pieces as his face filled with uncertainty and guilt
“What are you doing?” Will asked incredulously.
“Who is Tammy?”
“You! You are my Tammy!”
Mike paused. “So why did you push me away?”
Will had a scared - almost caught look on his face
“Because- because,” Will stopped. “Because if Henry even attempts to get into my mind, he’ll see you and I don’t think I could ever get over the things he’ll show me. He’ll know what you mean to me.”
Mike wanted to cry. He also wanted to laugh. He thought Will was completely over him but maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he wasn’t.
“Look, I really thought I could keep up this stupid act, and pretend I’m completely over you, but I don’t think that would make me any more stable to fight Henry. I’m sorry I pushed you away, I just didn’t think it was real.” Will said
“You thought it was something Vecna made you see?” Mike asked quietly.
“Yeah. I never thought you could ever, in a million parallel universes, love me back.”
Mike’s ears tinged pink. “Love?”
“OH! Ohmygosh shit I meant-“
And Will was interrupted, once again, by Mike Wheeler kissing him.
Mike pulled away as Will gently tried to pull him back in.
“Let’s go kick hell’s ass,” Mike said, quoting Will
“What happened to ‘hell can wait’?”
“Oh shut up,” Mike retorted, laughing
Even though they were to be facing a - literal - world of uncertainty, Mike knew one thing, William Byers loved him, and that was all he needed to begin with.