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Neither George nor Oscar knew what they were. To the rest of the world they were friends. To anyone who knew them more personally, they knew friends didn’t cover what they were. To be fair, they didn’t know what they were either. George loved Oscar and Oscar loved George, of course. But it was the type of love that left you feeling completely lost when you weren’t with the other. They knew they weren’t friends, but when anyone asked, friends was all they could bring themselves to say.
Before a race, they’d always try to spend at least five minutes with one another. Not being on the same team made that difficult at first, but their teams had eventually caught on that they weren’t asking for time and that they were simply telling them.
“Hey George.”
“Oscar.”
A smile immediately spread across Oscar’s face. There was something about the way George said his name that melted him.
Oscar hoisted himself onto a stack of boxes next to George.
“You ready for the race?”
“I’d rather not be in the freezing cold, but I’m as ready as can be.”
“Not every place can be as hot as Australia.”
“Sure, but there’s no reason for it to be ten degrees out,” complained Oscar.
George tsked before speaking again.
“I’m not that up to racing today, if I’m being honest.”
Oscar clutched his hand to his chest in mock shock.
“Who are you and what’ve you done with my George?”
“So funny. I’m not sure why, I’m not just feeling it.”
“Mh. I’m just looking forward to warming up.”
George shrugged before pushing himself off the crates.
“Right well, you should push off, I don’t feel like getting told off by Zak Brown again and I’m sure you don’t either.”
Oscar hissed at the memory of Zak pulling the both of them aside before a race after they’d spent well over half an hour together chatting.
“I hate that you’re right.”
“I’m always right.”
“Oh hush.”
George chuckled before switching to a more serious tone.
“See you on the podium?”
“Always.”
Knowing George had always been a bit less than thrilled to race in the rain, Oscar gave him a hug that lasted just long enough for both of them to know what he meant by it. Sharing one last goodbye, Oscar reluctantly pulled away and walked to his garage wishing that they could’ve spoken for just a minute longer.
The weather in Suzuka was less than ideal to say the least. It had been clear during FP1, but since Saturday it had been on and off pouring. Unfortunately, the race start just so happened to fall during what seemed to be the peak of what was the hardest shower they’d experienced all weekend, though it still wasn’t enough for the race to be delayed.
Oscar pulled on his balaclava while admiring the crowd that, despite the downpour, hadn’t wavered. The fans were a part of the reason why Oscar loved Suzuka. The track itself was a nice one, but the community and atmosphere were just unmatched.
Finishing up his pre-race procedures, Oscar made his way to his car. Sliding into his seat, he tried to get as comfortable as he could. After checking over everything, he set his hands on his legs, waiting for the green light to start the formation lap.
Quali had been a one-two for McLaren with Lando starting first and Oscar behind him in second. Mercedes had been lucky with their George Russell taking third and Antonelli in fifth.
Oscar was in his own mind when he was brought back to reality by a familiar voice.
“Mark.”
“Hey mate. I just wanna check that you’re all set.”
“Yep. As ready as I can be at least.”
“Mh. Just keep it on the track, yeah?”
“Right. Thanks Mark.”
As Mark walked away, Oscar shifted in his seat finally settling himself. He took one last glance at his mirrors and waited another minute until they were given the go-ahead.
The formation lap had gone as smoothly as he could’ve hoped. There was one point where he thought he might slip up, but that was just him getting into his own head. Maybe George’s dislike for racing in the rain was rubbing off on him.
All twenty cars were lined up waiting for the lights to go out. Oscar had to admit that the start had to be one of his favorite parts of a race weekend. The feeling of being the best off the line. Knowing that your start might determine how your whole race goes is something that always thrilled him.
Oscar fixed his eyes on the lights and waited.
One.
He adjusted himself in his seat.
Two.
He checked his teammate in the car next to him.
Three.
He calmed his breathing.
Four.
He tightened his grip on his steering wheel.
Five.
He sharpened his eyes and watched for them to go.
Lights out.
Oscar shot off the line and was able to weave past Lando to take the lead. A huge grin spread across his face as he was first going into turn one. There was a tiny part of his brain telling him that it was just the first lap and he wasn’t guaranteed anything, but he also couldn’t wipe away his smile.
Oscar had gone back and forth with Lando for a good few laps before he was able to pull away enough to breathe. The rain had lightened up a bit, but visibility was still far from clear.
After Oscar just became comfortable leading, his steering wheel lit up flashing a yellow flag that lasted for just a few seconds before becoming a red flag. Making his way back to the pits, Oscar wanted to know what exactly stopped the race.
“What’s happened?”
Oscar was a little annoyed that the race would have to be restarted, but oh well.
“There’s been a crash. Turn eleven.”
“Who?”
Oscar could feel the anxiety creeping in the longer he was met with silence.
“Russell.”
Any part of him that had previously been feeling irritated, quickly diminished into fear.
“Is he okay?”
Oscar chose to pretend he didn’t hear the distinct tremble in his voice that he knew Tom heard.
“We’re not sure yet. Getting confirmation now.”
Oscar was nearly to the pits at this point. He’d be able to get more information then.
“No serious injuries. He is going to get checked out at medical. Car is wrecked, so he’s out, but he is okay, Oscar.”
Oscar puffed out a breath. He didn’t know how to explain exactly what he felt. Fear wasn’t enough. In the thirty seconds it took for them to find out if George was alright, Oscar’s mind had gone through every situation he could think of. Was that normal? Would he have done that with Lando? Would he have felt that clutching pain in his chest had it been someone else?
Pulling back into his garage, Oscar felt dazed. What did that mean? What if it had been the worst case scenario and George was seriously injured? Oscar felt himself choke up at the thought. He couldn’t take that. He wouldn’t take that.
There was a part of him that wanted to run from his team and find George, but Oscar knew there was still a race he had to win.
He tried to take a calming breath knowing that the race would start up again soon. He just needed to clear his head. Humming a tune, Oscar stared out of his garage, watching the rain patter against the track.
The red flag lasted for another few minutes before they were allowed to go back on track.
The restart was much the same as the first one. Oscar was first again, but now with added hesitation. Lando had dropped back a few places with the Ferrari of Charles taking his place behind Oscar.
Turn after turn, lap after lap, Oscar kept singing the same tune over and over again. It was some song George had suggested one of the first few times they’d hungout. He would normally only do it a few times, but focusing too much on the race would remind him of George, and that would probably put him in the wall, which he wasn’t too fond of either.
**
It was the last lap and Oscar began counting the turns left until he’d be back with George. Oscar loved racing, he really did, but there was something he loved more that he wasn’t sure he could admit.
Crossing the finish line, Oscar puffed out a breath he seemed to have been holding since he found out about George. There was nothing he wanted more than to find George and make sure he was alright.
Oscar slowed into parc fermé and quickly jumped out of his car. Not wanting to waste any more time, Oscar went through his post-race procedures as fast as he could. He tried to keep the podium celebration as short as could be. That done, he just had interviews left. He wasn’t sure what he was saying to the reporters, and to be honest, he didn’t care either. All he wanted to do was find George.
Oscar was tired. The race had been stressful, and all he’d been doing since he left the car was run around. Finally getting time to be alone, he rested his back against the back of the McLaren motorhome. Oscar slid down to the floor and tucked his knees against his chest. He just needed to rest for a minute and then he’d go find George.
Oscar ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. As he was getting ready to stand, he heard someone call his name.
“Oscar?”
His head snapped up as he quickly recognized the voice to be George.
“Oh god.”
Oscar wasted no time and stood up to immediately throw his arms around George. George grimaced at the pressure against his sore chest, but he kept quiet because he knew Oscar needed this.
After a minute, Oscar pulled away to look at George.
“Are you okay? What did the doctor say?”
“Oscar, I’m fine, really. The doctor gave me the clear.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I’d never. I promise I’m okay, just might have a few bruises,” he tried to joke.
Oscar huffed a breath that was a mix of both relief and worry.
“You scared me.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
They stood close together, too close for it to be easily brushed off by anyone who might see them. Oscar still had his hands around George’s arms, not yet wanting to let go.
“Don’t do that again.”
“I’ll try, but I’m not sure if I can guarantee that.”
George saw how Oscar reacted to that, clearly not caring for his jokes right now.
They stood silent for a minute, just looking at each other.
“I didn’t know what had happened. They only told me it was a Mercedes that crashed and then told me it was you.”
“I’m sorry.”
Oscar’s brows furrowed as he decided his next words.
“I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you. Especially because I didn’t get to tell you.”
George looked confused, but Oscar didn’t leave time for him to ask. Sliding his hands up from George’s arms to the side of his face, Oscar pulled him in for a kiss.
George did nothing to fight back. Instead, he wrapped his own hands around Oscar’s waist, pulling him even closer.
They’d both wanted this, there was no denying that. It was inevitable for this to happen, but this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. George crashing had only solidified it for Oscar, though. The notion that anything could happen to either of them and they might never get a chance to tell the other how they feel, scared Oscar. At least this way, should anything happen, they’d at least know.
George pulled away first for air. His lungs burned in the best way possible.
“Oscar…”
Oscar rested his head in the crook of George’s neck, still not wanting to be apart from him. Realising that, George angled his head to the side so he could plant a kiss against Oscar’s hair.
“Can we stay like this, please,” whispered Oscar.
“As long as you need.”
George knew there was a conversation to be held about this. Right now though, all they had to worry about was each other. They both loved each other, and that was all that mattered. They were all that mattered.